Poll: Has aging/retirement made you more/less sociable?

[Midpack]

Probably risky here in INTJville, but somehow DW and I have switched roles WRT who's the friendly, outgoing ambassador for our couplehood. Where she was always the more social between us, I think my less open, social nature has made her less so over the years, unfortunate IMO and unintended. Even more surprising, I've become way more friendly with strangers, shopkeepers, etc., more likely to participate in general, and better at keeping in touch with friends and family. I'll never qualify as an extrovert, but still a bizzare turn of events. Even when I break the ice, she sometimes doesn't join in, just the opposite of how we acted when we were both younger. In fairness, DW still has a larger circle of friends than I do.

So how about youse guys? And not asking if you made the transition to outright extrovert, just have you changed (perceptibly)...

 

[NW-Bound]

Voted more open.

Five years ago, would not think I would be posting in an open forum like this.

But then, I was born a cranky person.

 

[Onward]

I'd say I'm somewhat more friendly now that the burden of w*rk is off my shoulders. I'm definitely more relaxed.

 

[W2R]

I voted "I am still pretty much the same.". I don't think my fundamental INTJ-ness has changed. Being as old as Methuselah, I suppose that most of my personality traits are set in stone by now.

 

[Sue J]

I'm pretty much the same, I don't need a lot of social interaction. Since DH retired he's become a less social person. He used to work in social services and dealt with a lot of people in his department. He thought he'd miss it but instead he's much happier without all the time with other people.

 

[Animorph]

Pretty much the same, but without work friends My circle of friends is pretty slim.

 

[easysurfer]

About the same. Like many here, I'm more on the introverted side to begin with. Retirement has made it that, knowing each day is like a Saturday, that I enjoy the time alone more. Don't need to clockwatch as the next day is like another Saturday.

 

[Khan]

Never was all that sociable, and aging is restricting my travel abilities.

 

[scrabbler1]

Never that sociable to begin with. No change to my limited circle of friends or my activities.

 

[antmary]

I am pretty much the same - and, more authentic now that I don't have to "perform" for a job. I think the most stressful part of working was to have to put on a professional face on a daily basis...now I can just if I want to. The kitties don't mind!

 

[Bestwifeever]

I think the poll questions are somewhat leading--the first choice's wording are pretty positive qualities, but the second choice doesn't give any positive qualities of not being sociable (I'm comfortable being by myself, I'm independent, I don't need other people around me all the time, etc.). If the first choice had negative qualities or the second choice had positive qualities, the responses might be different.

 

[JOHNNIE36]

I think the poll questions are somewhat leading--the first choice's wording are pretty positive qualities, but the second choice doesn't give any positive qualities of not being sociable (I'm comfortable being by myself, I'm independent, I don't need other people around me all the time, etc.). If the first choice had negative qualities or the second choice had positive qualities, the responses might be different.

Well, I don't see how it could be more clear. You're either MORE sociable, LESS sociable or THE SAME as you always were. Don't know how that could be tweaked or stated any better.

I voted "more sociable" because I always try to be more sociable. I try to be more outgoing all the time. One of my latest thoughts is to be the one who introduces my wife and myself withour having to wait for someone to introduce us. If someone doesn't make that move, I will immediately introduce ourselves to everyone.

 

[veremchuka]

I am less because I have virtually no contact with people now that I am retired. But then I thought about it after voting and I'm actually more out going in a store which is the only place I'd be face to face with a person other than possibly the post office. I've found myself talking to people that I never would have had small talk with before because I am not out going. I think I am starved for human contact, that scares me.

 

[ksr]

I have become more sociable, and am surprised by that. When I was still working, I would shy away from opportunities that had a lot of social interaction. Perhaps it is because I am no longer connected with a regular group of co-workers, or perhaps it's because I feel so much happier now, but I find myself looking for more social engagements.

 

[H2ODude]

Don't know that I'm more or less (and am fairly new at this) but do miss the social interaction with co-workers. DW and I have not had much of a social network since kids grew up and moved from the neighborhood where we became friends with most of the kids' parents. That's fine with us but I know as we age we'll miss some of that social interaction. We could make it just fine with just regular interaction with kids and grandkids, but they're all overseas so it's not near as frequent as we'd like.

 

[MichaelB]

As we age we become more concentrated versions of what we were. As my mother says, you are at 60 what you were at 40, only more so.

 

[W2R]

As we age we become more concentrated versions of what we were. As my mother says, you are at 60 what you were at 40, only more so.

Oh, I like that one! Your mother is very perceptive.

 

[Nords]

So how about youse guys? And not asking if you made the transition to outright extrovert, just have you changed (perceptibly)...

Spouse worked her way high enough up the local military to be fairly visible and occasionally the "only girl in the room". She was happy to leave the stage of the briefing theater. Then during her "retirement", a volunteer job on a non-profit board turned into a 150-day stint as a non-profit CEO.

So she's going through a backlash now, and is much less social than ever. She doesn't miss it a bit. Her car only leaves the garage once or twice a month, and we're having "the discussion" about going down to one car.

I've always preferred to be social through a keyboard rather than face-to-face. (I appear much smarter that way too.) That hasn't changed in retirement. But in retirement I'm usually less tired & grumpy through the day, and I'm engaging with people during the middle of the morning in the middle of the week (instead of with the weekend crowds) so we all get along better.

I agree that age makes you more of what you are, but it also gives you the experience to temporarily fake the mannerisms of someone you're not. Luckily ER means you don't have to put yourself into positions where you'd have to fake it...

 

[Midpack]

As we age we become more concentrated versions of what we were. As my mother says, you are at 60 what you were at 40, only more so.

I may be the exception in this vein at least, I'm pretty sure I am more outgoing/sociable at 58 than I was at 40, work environment notwithstanding. But maybe I've have an antisocial relapse at 60...

 

[Semiretired2008]

Definitely more - never would of touched a board like this before... No time in life to do so. There is a big difference with working 60 -80 hour weeks than doing side work - maybe averaging 20 hours a month... (and that may be coming to an end also - have not decided yet...)... I would say that I have turned more into an I / E (divided to the moment at hand).

 

[Purron]

Less so and it's something I've worried about a bit recently.

 

[Dawg52]

I have always been boring. Just ask my.......well ugh take my word for it.

 

[ShortInSeattle]

When I studied personality styles in grad school they told us that most people become more introverted as they age. Could be a normal process?

 

[Parr0thead98]

Hhmmm, will be interesting to see next year when I ER. According to multiple tests/surveys, I am an Introvert who can appear to be very sociable & outgoing when the job requires it. Last Myers-Briggs I took, I fell squarely on the line between INTJ and ENTJ--just depends on the situation, the proctors told me.

Right now, being in a very visible position that is heavily people interactive, I get home on Fridays feeling emotionally drained. All I want to do is rent some movies, get a Papa Murphy's pizza (no endorsement intended), bolt the front door, and close the blinds until Monday! I am somewhat apprehensive about ER next Summer--will I become some sort of shut in or will I go out and become the "community organizer" since I no longer have the military social structure around me

Tune in next year, same Bat channel, same Bat time....

 

[Sarah in SC]

Well I am INTJ and DH is firmly an E, but I make all our social arrangements. I think I create our social environments and then leave it up to him for the interactions.
I remember always having this vivid feeling right before some huge party that I'd really like to get everything set up, have the party food ready to go, and then sneak off before anyone arrived.

I seek out new experiences, but like all INTJ folks, the interactions make me tired.