What is "a certain age"?

[scrabbler1]

Older people began calling me "sir" when I was in my 30s, usually when i was still wearing a jacket and tie as part of my work outfit (they switched to full-time casual in 1998 when i was 35). That did not make me feel old. but when the younger crowd began calling me "sir" when I was not in formal workwear, that began making me a little old.

 

[slowsaver]

If you're (still) working in the high tech industry, it's best to be under 35. Otherwise people assume you don't know much.

 

[LOL!]

Recently the waiter at a Swiss Chalet restaurant addressed me as "dear". It's a shame I won't be going back, because I like their chicken.

Memo to all waiters: My name is NOT Dear!

I expect to be called "Sweetie" by all NY diner waitresses. It does not bother me.

 

[eytonxav]

It's that age when you stop worrying about answers to questions like this

 

[Chuckanut]

What is a certain age?

5 years older than my current age.

 

[Mulligan]

It's that age when you stop worrying about answers to questions like this

Is that the last step prior to becoming a curmudgeon?



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[eytonxav]

Is that the last step prior to becoming a curmudgeon?



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Yep, we call that a pre-mature curmudgeon

 

[Amethyst]

Sweetie in NYC [as well as just across the Hudson in NJ], and Hon in Baltimore, are expected and would be missed.

What I dislike (because it sounds so condescending) is "young lady" or any form thereof. I didn't like it when I was young, and I despise it now. Oddly enough, Mr. A., who's much older than I am, doesn't mind being called "young man," even though I sense the same "you're obviously old, but we'll pretend we don't notice" condescension by the speaker. I guess I'm just sensitive to being talked-down-to.

Amethyst

I expect to be called "Sweetie" by all NY diner waitresses. It does not bother me.

 

[haha]

Sweetie in NYC [as well as just across the Hudson in NJ], and Hon in Baltimore, are expected and would be missed.

What I dislike (because it sounds so condescending) is "young lady" or any form thereof. I didn't like it when I was young, and I despise it now. Oddly enough, Mr. A., who's much older than I am, doesn't mind being called "young man," even though I sense the same "you're obviously old, but we'll pretend we don't notice" condescension by the speaker. I guess I'm just sensitive to being talked-down-to.

Amethyst

I can't see any reason to get emotionally moved by any of this. The only people who have tried that young man baloney on me are sellers of Real Change, a local paper sold by certain street type people some of whom weirdly think that might be an inducement to buy their useless rag.

We are continually manipulated skilfully (Amazon, Facebook) and unskillfully like the Real Change sellers young man approach. I guess the only antidote is to recognize it, and mount some sort of active defense.

I believe that this was originally a French literary phrase applied only to women, perhaps not too old to have dropped their interest in romance or their interest to men, but also obviously no longer young. Recently it has also been applied to men, IMO a rather ridiculous idea since for the most part men are not sensitive about their age.

Ha

 

[Mulligan]

I can't see any reason to get emotionally moved by any of this. The only people who have tried that young man baloney on me are sellers of Real Change, a local paper sold by certain street type people some of whom weirdly think that might be an inducement to buy their useless rag.

We are continually manipulated skilfully (Amazon, Facebook) and unskillfully like the Real Change sellers young man approach. I guess the only antidote is to recognize it, and mount some sort of active defense.

I believe that this was originally a French literary phrase applied only to women, perhaps not too old to have dropped their interest in romance or their interest to men, but also obviously no longer young. Recently it has also been applied to men, IMO a rather ridiculous idea since for the most part men are not sensitive about their age.

Ha

I'm in your camp on the age thing. I doubt many are pandering that bad with the terms. It probably isn't meant in any different way than when someone says hello to a 5 year old boy or girl and refers to them as a "young man" or "young lady". At least if nothing else, it sounds better than "OG" "Old Timer" "Old Lady" or "Old Hag".


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[ls99]

The owner of the coffee shop I frequent, who is my age, often calls me young man. Do not find it offensive at all. At times I reply: thanks for the vote of confidence, usually to laughter by bystanders.

In Baltimore on my first visit to a restaurant/bar the waitress offerd a second beer, with the preface of hon. Not being familiar with the custom, I smiled and said: gee one beer and I am hon, do two beers get us in bed? She did not have a comeback. Having a foreign accent is a plus in times like that. No she was not a two six pack lady either

As for being called sir, it is ok. At times I reply: don't call me sir, I used to work for a living. A paraphrase from my Army days when the correct response by enlisted men to being called sir was: Don't insult me, I work for a living.

All in all, do not recall being direspected by anyone based on age. There are plenty of equal opportunity abusers in official/controlling capacities, in those cases I make a mental note: a$$hole, smirk and get on with life.

 

[imoldernu]

"a certain age"

 

[braumeister]

I'm a little bemused at all this.
I really couldn't care less what people call me, and things like "dear," "hon," "darlin'," etc. have never bothered me. I just chalk them up as local habits and ignore them.

Same goes for "sir." It startled me at first, but I quickly got used to it.

Conversely, I routinely call people sir and ma'am, but with a smile. Nobody has ever seemed to be offended, and they generally smile back.

I guess part of that stems from my military background, where those titles were routine.

 

[bbbamI]

What I wanna know is...what is the age when 'we should know better'?

 

[NW-Bound]

"Know better" to not do what?

 

[HFWR]

Recently it has also been applied to men, IMO a rather ridiculous idea since for the most part men are not sensitive about their age.

Ha

A number of bad facelifts (*cough* Kenny Rogers *cough* Jerry Jones *cough*) notwithstanding...

Same goes for "sir." It startled me at first, but I quickly got used to it.

I always tell them "that's my dad"...

Being older doesn't bother me much. Thankfully, I'm still in fairly good health, and biking and weight-lifting have kept me relatively slim and fit.

As for women, I know, and have seen, many "older" women who look great. Although I'm happy to "look", I'm not really interested in women that much younger than me.

 

[Mulligan]

A number of bad facelifts (*cough* Kenny Rogers *cough* Jerry Jones *cough*) notwithstanding...



I always tell them "that's my dad"...

Being older doesn't bother me much. Thankfully, I'm still in fairly good health, and biking and weight-lifting have kept me relatively slim and fit.

As for women, I know, and have seen, many "older" women who look great. Although I'm happy to "look", I'm not really interested in women that much younger than me.

Yep, same here... I was lucky enough to go through my "middle age crisis" while young enough and single to enjoy it... Even if I looked 30 still, I quite frankly don't have the energy anymore to run wild. I am quite content getting older each day, having a long term GF and just enjoying life at my old geezer pace.


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[NW-Bound]

This Kenny Rogers? I hardly recognize the new him. And I do not see the new him looking younger either.

Still, many actresses look a lot worse after surgery. When will they ever learn?

 

[Walt34]

"Know better" to not do what?

Whatever it is that you're doing that embarrasses your wife or mother.

 

[NW-Bound]

How about just embarrassing oneself? A guy may be single and have a deceased mother.

And there are unwise things that are not really about embarrassment.

 

[LitGal]

I learned that lesson early. When I was 18, I was one of the few old enough to serve beer at the beach where I worked in the summer (in those days it was 18 in NY).

I routinely carded customers with no problem, but one day I carded a guy who was absolutely incredulous. He showed me his driver's license and he was 29. That made me realize just how hard it can be to guess someone's age.

I'm 61 and just got carded last week. (And I do NOT look like I'm anywhere near 21.)

I smiled, laughed, and thanked the guy. He mumbled something about being required to "card everybody."

I thanked him anyway! It was a fun moment.

 

[ohyes]

DH and i go to a restaurant/bar twice a week with signs on the wall-- WE CARD EVERYBODY.

Yep, you guessed it; they never, ever carded us.

What jerks. Just kidding, it is a fun place.

 

[Amethyst]

Our local big-booze emporium really does card everybody. Many years ago, they got "stung" when an employee sold alcohol to an underage cop, and a judge decreed the penalty of "check all IDs, forever." There are signs at every checkout stand.

Amethyst

I'm 61 and just got carded last week. (And I do NOT look like I'm anywhere near 21.)

I smiled, laughed, and thanked the guy. He mumbled something about being required to "card everybody."

 

[Throwdownmyaceinthehole]

I did a triathlon this weekend, very slowly and got passed with the "hope I'm as fit as you when I'm your age". Pffftttt!!!! I guess I have reached that certain age!