Klubbie
Recycles dryer sheets
I just want to share something my wife and I have been watching happen to our friends in recent weeks. It has been eye opening and shows just how close one can be from financial disaster.
Our friends are a married couple with a young child they adopted (I only mention this because they have a loan they took out for the adoption which is pertinent to this). The wife is a nurse, and her husband worked in the auto industry, I believe for a supplier in some sort of role with production operations. He got laid off unexpectedly about a month ago as the primary breadwinner. They are both mid-30's like we are.
They were in the process of having a new home of approximately ~$300k built, and had sold the home they had been living in and were in the process of moving to an apartment for a short term 3 month lease while their new home finished being built. The home they had sold was a small home in an older neighborhood and I think it sold for around $115K or so (based on what they listed it at).
The husband reached out to me after he got laid off looking for financial advice, and in doing so laid out the details of their financial situation. I found myself very overwhelmed by the situation they were in. Here is a rundown:
- They took out a 25k loan from his 401k for a down payment on the house, which is now going to be treated as taxable income (plus penalty) since they can't repay the loan in 60 days after separating from employment
- They are currently juggling a loan they used to adopt their daughter, a student loan, a loan he cosigned for his niece, and a loan for a new car
- Today they told us that their lender won't approve them for their mortgage unless than can show proof of an additional $2500 income per month, or get a co-signer for the loan (they don't have one).
- In the month since losing his job he hasn't been able to get any interviews close to what he was making and accepted a job that is essentially a customer service job in a call center making $16/hour
I gave general advice on how to cut expenses and made some recommendations on paying off debt vs. holding extra cash until they were able to get back on their feet with him in a new job. I also gave some recommendations on how to network back into a job. I didn't ask to pry into their finances, but he offered it up.
It's terrifying to me how their life has fallen apart so quickly due to a job loss like this. There are obvious issues here with living above ones means (more on that in a minute), but I could see losing one's job while trying to get a mortgage and the whole thing falling apart even to someone who is financially responsible if there is an income disparity between the two spouses.
Now, here is the other piece of this that my wife and I have been observing and find ourselves frustrated with them:
-Over the past 4 or 5 years they have gone on numerous vacations (Vegas multiple times, Disney, etc)
- They upgraded their old house and put in a new patio, new kitchen, among other things
-Always going out to eat
- Since the job loss they have been posting multiple pictures on social media every weekend of themselves going out to eat and going to events around town that have parking costs associated with them, admissions costs, and then the cost of eating/drinking once at these events
- The wife works with my wife in the same department and has been putting her name on the "go home early" list at work despite the financial crunch, and hasn't been willing to pick up hours (she works 32 hours a week).
I feel bad for the turmoil they are experiencing now as they are our friends, but at the same time looking back at the financial decisions we've watched them make the past few years and seeing how they are now likely to lose their down payment on this house (among other things)they will no longer be able to afford is mind boggling to me.
Especially considering my wife and I have made the decision to forgo any vacations and other luxuries until we have paid off my student loans (over $100k, down to about 30k today).
My wife, who is easily the spender in our marriage, commented how this has been eye opening for her and how she wants to build up our savings after seeing what they are going through. We have about 4 to 5 months of expenses if I were to lose my job. Hearing her say she wants to build that up was music to my ears!
Anyways, I wanted to share. I never suspected our friends were so close to a financial disaster like this. Goes to show how close many people really are to the brink.
Our friends are a married couple with a young child they adopted (I only mention this because they have a loan they took out for the adoption which is pertinent to this). The wife is a nurse, and her husband worked in the auto industry, I believe for a supplier in some sort of role with production operations. He got laid off unexpectedly about a month ago as the primary breadwinner. They are both mid-30's like we are.
They were in the process of having a new home of approximately ~$300k built, and had sold the home they had been living in and were in the process of moving to an apartment for a short term 3 month lease while their new home finished being built. The home they had sold was a small home in an older neighborhood and I think it sold for around $115K or so (based on what they listed it at).
The husband reached out to me after he got laid off looking for financial advice, and in doing so laid out the details of their financial situation. I found myself very overwhelmed by the situation they were in. Here is a rundown:
- They took out a 25k loan from his 401k for a down payment on the house, which is now going to be treated as taxable income (plus penalty) since they can't repay the loan in 60 days after separating from employment
- They are currently juggling a loan they used to adopt their daughter, a student loan, a loan he cosigned for his niece, and a loan for a new car
- Today they told us that their lender won't approve them for their mortgage unless than can show proof of an additional $2500 income per month, or get a co-signer for the loan (they don't have one).
- In the month since losing his job he hasn't been able to get any interviews close to what he was making and accepted a job that is essentially a customer service job in a call center making $16/hour
I gave general advice on how to cut expenses and made some recommendations on paying off debt vs. holding extra cash until they were able to get back on their feet with him in a new job. I also gave some recommendations on how to network back into a job. I didn't ask to pry into their finances, but he offered it up.
It's terrifying to me how their life has fallen apart so quickly due to a job loss like this. There are obvious issues here with living above ones means (more on that in a minute), but I could see losing one's job while trying to get a mortgage and the whole thing falling apart even to someone who is financially responsible if there is an income disparity between the two spouses.
Now, here is the other piece of this that my wife and I have been observing and find ourselves frustrated with them:
-Over the past 4 or 5 years they have gone on numerous vacations (Vegas multiple times, Disney, etc)
- They upgraded their old house and put in a new patio, new kitchen, among other things
-Always going out to eat
- Since the job loss they have been posting multiple pictures on social media every weekend of themselves going out to eat and going to events around town that have parking costs associated with them, admissions costs, and then the cost of eating/drinking once at these events
- The wife works with my wife in the same department and has been putting her name on the "go home early" list at work despite the financial crunch, and hasn't been willing to pick up hours (she works 32 hours a week).
I feel bad for the turmoil they are experiencing now as they are our friends, but at the same time looking back at the financial decisions we've watched them make the past few years and seeing how they are now likely to lose their down payment on this house (among other things)they will no longer be able to afford is mind boggling to me.
Especially considering my wife and I have made the decision to forgo any vacations and other luxuries until we have paid off my student loans (over $100k, down to about 30k today).
My wife, who is easily the spender in our marriage, commented how this has been eye opening for her and how she wants to build up our savings after seeing what they are going through. We have about 4 to 5 months of expenses if I were to lose my job. Hearing her say she wants to build that up was music to my ears!
Anyways, I wanted to share. I never suspected our friends were so close to a financial disaster like this. Goes to show how close many people really are to the brink.
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