No "must do" in retirement

[Focus]

This article -- a nice change from the usual -- acknowledges that today's focus on fulfilling your potential or ticking off a bucket list in retirement can be oppressive. The word "should" and articles about what you "must do/see/read before dying" make me bristle.

The New York Times: Leave the Bucket Lists to Those Ambitious Boomers

Not much was expected of retirees for a generation, and, perhaps more to the point, retirees did not expect much of themselves. Now, in what could be called retirement 3.0, “a highly educated, active group is looking at what might well be 25 years of leisure, and a lot of people are saying, ‘Sounds boring to me,’” Mr. Dychtwald said. “The upside is that many of them are finding fulfillment in trying new things. They’re looking to achieve more of their potential. Maybe they’re hoping they will be late bloomers.

“The downside,” he added, “is that it creates a lot of pressure on everybody. People are going start to fear that if they’re not making the most of themselves or being sufficiently productive in their later days, they’re going to be looked down on.”

 

[Walt34]

Hmmm.... I thought the whole point of retirement was to only do what, and how much, what I wanted. Note the tagline.

 

[38Chevy454]

I started my day with nothing to do and at the end of the day I still had not accomplished anything.

 

[RobbieB]

I deeply resent anybody telling me what I should do. I do what I want to do.

You do what you do and I'll do what I do and anything else is voodoo -

 

[MRG]

I was never much for following rules when I had to. Now I don't.

How come all the folks in the article live in the same part of FL? Did the author go around the block interviewing folks?

 

[W2R]

I deeply resent anybody telling me what I should do. I do what I want to do.

You do what you do and I'll do what I do and anything else is voodoo -

+10000000000

I worked as hard as I could for over half a century, so that I could afford to retire.

If I wanted to, I suppose I could have just not worked at all and begged for a living. But I didn't do that. I worked and worked. Finally I achieved my goal... retirement and control over what I do with my time... and I'm not giving it back to anybody!

 

[ERD50]

Agree with the rest of the posters here. Most of us didn't get where we are by "keeping up with the Jones's", and that is all articles like that are.

I don't "bristle" at articles like that, I ignore them.

-ERD50

 

[RunningBum]

I have a friend who is very goal driven in retirement, with bucket list trips and other activities. I'm sure he was that way in work too since he was very successful, so at least he's focused on fun things now. I'll do things with him when it overlaps with what I want to do, and let him go his own way when it doesn't. He doesn't suggest I set goals like him or anything like that, and I'm not going to suggest that he shouldn't pursue goals.

 

[RobbieB]

Cool. At least he didn't die on the job.

 

[scrabbler1]

I have always been an outlier, never caring to keep up with any Joneses. I always considered myself an "opposite," as in I have the opposite problems from most other people. Similarly, when everyone got scared in the 2008-09 recession and went broke, for me that downturn was a huge benefit toward my ER which began right in the middle of that time, in late 2008.


I don't have any bucket list. Some days, I have errands, many days I do not, so I have nothing of any importance to do other than my Strat-o-Matic baseball and my square dancing and visiting with my ladyfriend.


I come and go as I please, the best part of being an early retiree.

 

[Pellice]

I read that article too, but have a different perspective. I've toiled all my life as a worker bee bureaucrat, which has entailed endless filling out of forms large and small, and writing reports that get opened by some intern at a funder's office who then checks off a box: "Final Report submitted." Imploring people to get back to me. Reminding bosses 4 or 5 times that they need to make a decision.

I stayed in that job because of security. It turned out to be the right decision. Now I am going to retire and reap the benefits and become financially independent.

I am feeling a strong call to "emerge" in some way and have a meaningful third act. I am feeling this (perhaps guilty?) responsibility to do some real good now. But I am scared that my creativity and focus and intelligence have all fallen victim to the long years of doing as above.

I hate the idea of a bucket list - random things other people tell me I have to do - but I have a passion (involving the environment), and I've laid out a few first steps, and I want to start the walk.

I am definitely not being critical of anyone else, and I'm not sure where these wishes - to do more than I have done - are coming from. Guilt that I took the safe path? The outward focus that not having children allows? (i.e. I'm not focused on my own progeny and their lives). Competitiveness at last? Fulfilling the narrative I've been telling myself, "once you get financial security, then ...." But I am proceeding step by step, because I do feel a calling to try to protect this living planet.

 

[traineeinvestor]

Clearly written by someone who's never been married.

I'm in the "have a bucket list and enjoy plugging away at it" camp of early retirees but that's me - as others have said, retirement is about choosing how you want to spend your time.

 

[Amethyst]

Yep, just what we need. Peer pressure in retirement! What a joke.

 

[JoeWras]

About time. Screw the list. There's a definite trend to compete on list completion and I want nothing to do with it.

We encountered a hiker in the Grand Canyon on her "bucket list" trip. She was having a miserable time, and nearly put herself in danger by ignoring guidelines on dealing with the heat.

We agreed to be a "buddy her out" after the Park Service refused to do so because she was perfectly healthy. She found out the hard way that hiking was unnecessarily on her list. She'll try a cruise next time...

 

[DrRoy]

You do what you do and I'll do what I do and anything else is voodoo -

I also think that I can decide what I like and don't like to do.

After Monday & Tuesday even the calendar says, W-T-F...

How could I not have seen this ?

 

[Pellice]

Clearly written by someone who's never been married.

Yup, never married, no kids But, in honest puzzlement, how would marriage change the equation? Spouse wants more fun time, I'm thinking? I don't envision a 40 hour stressful job - and not a paying job at all - but doing cool things every day. (I'm pre-retirement, remember )

 

[traineeinvestor]

Yup, never married, no kids But, in honest puzzlement, how would marriage change the equation? Spouse wants more fun time, I'm thinking? I don't envision a 40 hour stressful job - and not a paying job at all - but doing cool things every day. (I'm pre-retirement, remember )

If I don't find ways to fill up my days, DW will do it for me. I understand it's a fairly common phenomenon. On the whole, I prefer my to-do list to hers.

 

[Amethyst]

I have a lot of must-do's, referred to as "chores" and "responsibilities." Taking care of the house and yard, paying the bills, ensuring meals are nutritious, going to the gym, etc.

I do sense, via Internet discussions of retirement, occasional little inferences that I am supposed to "downsize" or shuck off these things, in order to have as much "fun" as others are supposedly having. Their ideas of fun may not match mine....and any inferences that others are supposed to do this or that is, in my view, nothing but peer pressure. "I do this, so everybody oughta, or else they're wrongheaded."

 

[Car-Guy]

All's I had before retirement was "must-do's" My primary must-do then, was to retire. Not many must-do's now.

 

[Car-Guy]

Peer pressure in retirement!

No such thing, IMO.

 

[Nemo2]

I hate the idea of a bucket list - random things other people tell me I have to do

Surely a 'bucket list' is, (or should be), comprised of things you always wanted to do, places you always wanted to visit, and previously had neither the time or the money to do so?

 

[Ronstar]

When I retired, I had a lot of "must do's". Now I have none. Not because I did my must do's, but because I no longer feel compelled to must do anything.

 

[Amethyst]

Indeed. What I sensed (or, to be fair, projected) in the article was that Other Retired People are likely to compare your BL, or mine, with theirs and find it lacking. And this is presumed to give us stress because even at our advanced ages, we still want desperately to fit in.

Surely a 'bucket list' is, (or should be), comprised of things you always wanted to do, places you always wanted to visit, and previously had neither the time or the money to do so?

 

[Senator]

If you have accomplished everything in life you want, there is no sense having a bucket list.

If the Dr. gave you bad news tomorrow, what would you regret, if anything? If there is anything there, do that NOW!

I have a lot of life ahead of me. I plan on living it and enjoying it. Sitting around is not my idea of living.

 

[Car-Guy]

If you have accomplished everything in life you want, there is no sense having a bucket list.

Pretty much done the things I wanted to in life. FI, hobbies, travel, etc. Now it rinse and repeat the things I enjoy as long as I can.

If the Dr. gave you bad news tomorrow, what would you regret, if anything?

The bad news.