ER Eddie
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,788
Well, we've had the "my marriage is in trouble" thread, the "happily married" thread, and the "I'm looking to get married" thread. I figured we needed to round things out with some attention to the happily singles, of which I am one.
To anticipate some potential misunderstandings, I'm not anti-marriage (except for me, personally). I think marriage is a very important social institution, especially with regard to raising children. Marriage is a good choice for a lot of people. I have some friends and family who seem happily married, and I'm glad for them. So, if you're married and reading this, please don't feel defensive and need to justify your choice. I understand there are downsides to being single, but that's not the focus here. Let's not turn this into a "single vs. married" thread. This is a thread for people who are readying themselves for (or already in) a happily single retirement.
So, with that out of the way... I'm single, and I'm happy to be single, perhaps no more than now, when I'm financially independent and headed into ER. Here are a smattering of reasons why.
Being single allows me to do what I want, when I want, without having to check with someone else, accommodate someone else's preferences, or explain myself.
I have lots of free time, which I am free to use however I choose.
My money is mine to spend, on whatever I choose. I don't have any risk of losing half my net worth or more, if my marriage fails, as of course many do.
I have more freedom, more space, and more time. It's easy to find quiet time. Solitude has many benefits, including the ability to go deep, work on my interior or spiritual life, learn, and grow.
I can date who I want. I can have relational and sexual variety.
There's no one monitoring or commenting on how I choose to use my leisure time, what I eat, or other choices I make. My house is my own. I decorate it the way I want. I keep it at the temperature I want. If a room is dirty, so what. I can watch whatever I want to watch on TV, and I can switch channels at will, look at whatever Youtube clips I am interested in, without worrying about a spouse's preferences or reactions. If I don't feel like doing anything, I don't.
There is less drama and "work." I don't have to share the bed, unless I want to. I get to know myself better this way. I have more privacy and can be as eccentric as I like. I can focus on my hobbies and interests.
Those are some of the things that come to mind for me.
Any other happily single ER folks out there?
To anticipate some potential misunderstandings, I'm not anti-marriage (except for me, personally). I think marriage is a very important social institution, especially with regard to raising children. Marriage is a good choice for a lot of people. I have some friends and family who seem happily married, and I'm glad for them. So, if you're married and reading this, please don't feel defensive and need to justify your choice. I understand there are downsides to being single, but that's not the focus here. Let's not turn this into a "single vs. married" thread. This is a thread for people who are readying themselves for (or already in) a happily single retirement.
So, with that out of the way... I'm single, and I'm happy to be single, perhaps no more than now, when I'm financially independent and headed into ER. Here are a smattering of reasons why.
Being single allows me to do what I want, when I want, without having to check with someone else, accommodate someone else's preferences, or explain myself.
I have lots of free time, which I am free to use however I choose.
My money is mine to spend, on whatever I choose. I don't have any risk of losing half my net worth or more, if my marriage fails, as of course many do.
I have more freedom, more space, and more time. It's easy to find quiet time. Solitude has many benefits, including the ability to go deep, work on my interior or spiritual life, learn, and grow.
I can date who I want. I can have relational and sexual variety.
There's no one monitoring or commenting on how I choose to use my leisure time, what I eat, or other choices I make. My house is my own. I decorate it the way I want. I keep it at the temperature I want. If a room is dirty, so what. I can watch whatever I want to watch on TV, and I can switch channels at will, look at whatever Youtube clips I am interested in, without worrying about a spouse's preferences or reactions. If I don't feel like doing anything, I don't.
There is less drama and "work." I don't have to share the bed, unless I want to. I get to know myself better this way. I have more privacy and can be as eccentric as I like. I can focus on my hobbies and interests.
Those are some of the things that come to mind for me.
Any other happily single ER folks out there?
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