Plight of older people

[dirtbiker]

I'm tracking my mother's spending and while it's not much I see where she's financing some of her grand children's lives at a higher rate.

I'm going to keep a closer watchband freeze her credit after BILs experience.
At 91 she seemed sharp as a rack. At 91.5 she sent a scam artist $500,000 in 6 weeks. Now that he has control of what little us left he found her trying to borrow $100,000 to finish collecting her sweepstake award. When it goes it can go fast.

That's awful. Did she get any of that $500K back?

 

[GravitySucks]

Not yet. Police think they may have a chance to recover maybe $100k

That's awful. Did she get any of that $500K back?

 

[dirtbiker]

Not yet. Police think they may have a chance to recover maybe $100k

Sorry to hear. I hate scam artists.

 

[frayne]

I think the death penalty would be perfectly appropriate for people who scam seniors.

 

[RenoJay]

I keep reading stories of the plight of older people with taxes/rent/food/transportation/health care, etc. I grew up in a lower middle class family in a lower middle class neighborhood and never saw any of this. None of my parents friends are in this boat and none of my relatives are.


Who are these people? And why are they in such bad situations? Is it bad planning? Bad judgement? Poor life styles?


And why is society responsible for any of this? I guess I'm perplexed.

I recall during the recession of 2000 how one of my good friends was feeding money to her mom and mom's hubbie. The hubbie had been some sort of executive, and continued to sit on boards of directors (unpaid) and behave like a big shot. And he desperately wanted a job (but only one that would pay him well into six figures.) He was too proud to admit to his many connections in the business world that he wanted/needed work, so instead he sponged off his wife's daughter. I believe that financial mental blocks are largely to blame for some people's situations. If you live in denial, it's really hard to face facts and make sensible choices. In my own situation, I can think of three different times I made long distance moves for work, and three different times I accepted pay that was roughly half of what I'd previously made. It was all necessary to keep from squandering my savings during hard times. And this is what gave me the fire power to take sensible risks during good times, and fortunately some of those risks paid off very nicely.

 

[Rustic23]

I believe it is largely the decision we make. I'm not discounting that some people make all the right decisions and sh!t still happens. However, over all those that LBTM and saved are doing well. Others not so much. One is on their fourth bankruptcy and there is no sign there won't be a fifth.

 

[Retiredmajor]

There are people who work very low wage jobs their whole life and choose to stay in those positions for a variety of reasons. They can barely live week to week and have no chance to save any real money. Some lack education, or ambition or are fearful of change, or feel stuck for other reasons. I feel for them but the information on how to improve or plan is out there for them to see and absorb. In fact, my last company advertised programs to pay for schooling, meet with Financial Planners and other self improvement programs. These are not people with mental illness or addictions, they just get comfortable and coast their whole life.

 

[razztazz]

I feel for them but the information on how to improve or plan is out there for them to see and absorb. These are not people with mental illness or addictions, they just get comfortable and coast their whole life. .

Nope. Just because a thing is out there it does not follow that therefore everyone will necessarily contact that information or know how to recognize it when they do contact it, properly, or most efficaciously, process and apply it. Otherwise we would all necessarily know, or could know, everything all the time. Know why? Because it's there. Clearly that is not happening. Know why? Because it can't

 

[armor99]

Maybe this information will enlighten people. Just yesterday I saw a news story about a guy in Seattle who has 75 convictions, some of them for violent behavior. He was sentenced to a drug treatment program earlier in the week for throwing hot coffee onto a toddler on the streets of Seattle.

After a few hours he left the treatment center in violation of his agreement with the courts. He made his way to a shopping mall where people called police to report a man harassing and threatening them. He was arrested and for now, at least, is back in jail.

Why can't they implement programs to help those who need and will accept help, while locking up those who consistently violate the law and refuse treatment? IMHO, follow the money.

I believe it is because some people treat drug addiction and mental illness as though they are life style choices. They believe that because many of these people actively choose to live on the streets, then who are we to stop them.
It is not compassionate or “helping” to allow people to continue to harm themselves, even if that IS what they want to continue doing. In many cases you would have to physically remove people from the streets, and make them undergo mental health or detox treatments against their will.
And that would actually put you on some questionable legal ground. Does our society have the power to do that, if a person is not actually hurting anyone else? Some would say yes, others no. It is a very complex issue to be sure. I think the greater good is served by removing them from the streets....

 

[Sunset]

Nope. Just because a thing is out there it does not follow that therefore everyone will necessarily contact that information or know how to recognize it when they do contact it, properly, or most efficaciously, process and apply it. Otherwise we would all necessarily know, or could know, everything all the time. Know why? Because it's there. Clearly that is not happening. Know why? Because it can't

Sometimes they just don't want to improve.

This struck me as a teenager, when working as a lifeguard. An older fellow about 26 was working as a towel hand-outer. It was the lowest job in the building, requiring you to be alive, understand English, and fold towels.

He told me, he wanted to do this job his entire life. He had been at it many years already.
I found his lack of drive/desire to improve himself to get a better job very perplexing.
Otherwise he was a nice, friendly, normal fellow.

 

[Lewis Clark]

... some people treat drug addiction and mental illness as though they are life style choices.

Drug addiction is not usually a choice. But the behaviors leading to the addictions are often a choice.

Some folks do get addicted to their own prescription medicines. The rest are addicted because of life style choices they made.

 

[Which Roger]

A lot of people are born into, and grow up in, environments where dysfunction is the norm. If that's all you know growing up, it's hard to suddenly start doing all the right things once you become an adult.
We can beat these people up for not making the same choices that we believe we would make, but we also need to be compassionate and realize that most of us have had a lot more good luck throughout our lives than they have.

 

[Retiredmajor]

Nope. Just because a thing is out there it does not follow that therefore everyone will necessarily contact that information or know how to recognize it when they do contact it, properly, or most efficaciously, process and apply it. Otherwise we would all necessarily know, or could know, everything all the time. Know why? Because it's there. Clearly that is not happening. Know why? Because it can't

Nope, that's different. I'm not describing information just out there in the atmosphere for folks to find. These employees were actively invited to attend sessions with Financial planners or sessions that described the company's program for schooling benefits, while being paid during working hours. Unfortunately, they chose to ignore learning about opportunities that could have changed their life. I found it odd.

 

[athena53]

I divide the elderly poor into two groups. For some it's just bad luck- lack of marketable skills, health issues, born into dysfunctional families and not able to overcome that.

For the rest- I think there are just way more shiny, sparkly temptations out there. The price of cars has well exceeded inflation, partly because of all the stuff, good and bad, loaded into them. Flying and cruises have become more affordable and everyone else does them so why not? Then there are fancy electronics and all the monthly costs that can go with them. That segment of the population doesn't save because they're too busy keeping up with the Joneses. There are more ways to do that now. It's that group whose complaints about living only on SS annoy me. They could have saved. They chose not to and they want someone else to help pay their bills.

 

[Elbata]

Wow, this thread has certainly woke me up to the plight of many seniors. Honestly, I've not given it much thought in the past.

Last night, my buddy and I were going out to eat, and while driving we see an older woman slowing crossing the street. He pulled over, I got out and helped the lady cross the street. (And traffic just had to wait--too damn bad).

So I'm not sure I would have not done that if I hadn't started reading this thread.

I feel I'm now a bit more aware of what could be the plight of some seniors. Though after reading this thread, I got to thinking, I really don't see many older seniors in my daily life.

Anyway, thank you to all who shared.

 

[travelover]

........... I got to thinking, I really don't see many older seniors in my daily life.............

I think that is true for many of us. We shop at a Trader Joe's that is in the low rent part of town and there is a Dollar Tree next door. It is in there that I see a lot of poor elderly people, especially midweek. They keep their heads down and have a low presence.

 

[tmm99]

A lot of people are born into, and grow up in, environments where dysfunction is the norm. If that's all you know growing up, it's hard to suddenly start doing all the right things once you become an adult.
We can beat these people up for not making the same choices that we believe we would make, but we also need to be compassionate and realize that most of us have had a lot more good luck throughout our lives than they have.

I know it's just a TV show, but if I was raised in a household like the one featured on the TV show, Shameless (I've only watched the US version of the show), I'm sure I wouldn't have turned out the way I am now. Personally, I think luck, as well as DNA, has a lot to do with how you turn out.

 

[aja8888]

I know it's just a TV show, but if I was raised in a household like the one featured on the TV show, Shameless (I've only watched the US version of the show), I'm sure I wouldn't have turned out the way I am now. Personally, I think luck, as well as DNA, has a lot to do with how you turn out.

Thinking back, our family was very poor and my Dad was an alcoholic. I recall when I got my draft notice in 1964 and had to go in to the military. I felt like I escaped, and those military years opened my eyes as to what "better off" people were doing with their lives. Those military years changed my life completely and I was enlightened enough to get a degree with the help of the GI Bill. The rest is history and I never really went back home.

 

[razztazz]

Nope, that's different. I'm not describing information just out there in the atmosphere for folks to find. These employees were actively invited to attend sessions with Financial planners or sessions that described the company's program for schooling benefits, while being paid during working hours. Unfortunately, they chose to ignore learning about opportunities that could have changed their life. I found it odd.

And they could have had no effect. And they could ahgve turned out badly. Ya never know.



Anyway, doesn't sound like the demographics being discussed in this thread either.

 

[Dtail]

One of my best friends in college came from a lower middle class family. His parents barely spoke English.
He worked full time and is now a successful CPA.
However, his family appeared to be very loving and functional, so perhaps that aspect is more important than the money aspect.

 

[nhcycling]

My ex’s brother didn’t like to work very much in his 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and now he’s late 50’s living in a HCOL area on a low disability income ($800/mo. and reverse mortgage) in a house he inherited; is disowned by his brothers because of his shenanigans (long story) and is wondering what he’s going to do when he can’t make ends meet in the near future because no one will take him in. This is how people get in trouble.

 

[imoldernu]

I believe good judgement begins in the first 10 years of life.

 

[Which Roger]

One of my best friends in college came from a lower middle class family. His parents barely spoke English.
He worked full time and is now a successful CPA.
However, his family appeared to be very loving and functional, so perhaps that aspect is more important than the money aspect.

And I bet the family valued education. I also grew up lower-middle class, but my parents never wavered from the message "Concentrate on your school work. You will go to college." Contrast that to someone I know where the message from the parents was "Stop spending so much time at school. We need you to work on the farm."

 

[Amethyst]

Reading in the home is also important. My parents weren't educated, but they were readers who produced three kids who love to read. The house was always full of magazines, library books, and drugstore paperbacks. We read stories aloud after dinner. I, the youngest, didn't start school till nearly age 6 (due to a late birthday), but had long since demanded that my mother teach me to read and write.

I still remember my parents privately criticizing a couple they socialized with for having nothing to read in their very nice home. Not a newspaper, not a book on the shelves, because the lady of the house deemed them "dust-gatherers." The topic arose in the car on the way home, because the LOTH had mentioned that her teenage son and daughter were doing poorly in school and she was afraid they might drop out.

And I bet the family valued education. I also grew up lower-middle class, but my parents never wavered from the message "Concentrate on your school work. You will go to college." Contrast that to someone I know where the message from the parents was "Stop spending so much time at school. We need you to work on the farm."

 

[razztazz]

I also grew up lower-middle class, but my parents never wavered from the message "Concentrate on your school work. You will go to college."

My parents' message was "anger, ignorance, and alcohol." Reinforced with Norman Rockwell inspired aphorisms such as: "Leave me the hell alone" "So? What da hell ya want from me?" "Oh just do what ya do, I don't care." "Whatta ya wanna do that for?" (No matter what your ideas or plans were.) And the ever-popular: "Not now, I'm drinkin'" There were others. Often involving the droppings of various animals.


I was an honors graduate from high school too. Don't know how or why I did that. Not one of those "molders of young minds" and "Shapers of Americas Young Adults" (friggin' useless teachers/counselors) ever pulled me aside to say a single word about college, the financing thereof, the difference between college and any alternatives, or what my plans might be.My plans were to just keep runningand take what I could get because there were no alternatives. Just because alternatives might have existed in someone else's opinion, doesn't mean that therefore I had unfettered access to all of them thus by definition guaranteeing a better life. You have to know they're there and see them as obtainable. See yourself in them.



Lecturing people about choices and opportunity as if they were bananas at the supermarket just put a bunch in the cart and enjoy, is de facto pure B.S. for those who actually know more than "having mine".


I come from immigrants myself, btw so I don't respond to lectures from that crowd either.



I know. Too much information