WSJ article: Retirees who sell "forever" homes

[Ronstar]

We live within 10 miles of a level II trauma center. I’ve been to the er there many times for broken bones, cuts needing stitches, and once for a fall through the ice on our lake. I question if I’ll ever need more advanced care closer to home. So proximity to health care doesn’t currently enter into my equation for finding a forever home. Although it may at some point.

I’ve been searching for a forever home for many years. Very few meet all of my criteria for a forever home. Our current home fits our criteria better than most homes that we have looked at. I realize that my criteria will change as we get older, but I don’t know how or when. So it’s tough to tell what would be the best forever home.

And elder care issues have recently made it necessary for us to stay put. Maybe our situation will change and it will become evident what our future housing needs are. But until then we wait.

 

[MC Rider]

Looks like level 1 and level 2 are not much different, and level 3 is not far behind. I had no idea what it meant so had to look.

https://hospitalmedicaldirector.com...-a-level-1-level-2-and-level-3-trauma-center/

 

[aja8888]

Seven years ago when DW was having breathing problems, we found a 2,000 square foot single level home in a 20 year old 55+ community that was one mile from three major hospitals. Shortly after we bought it and moved in, DW was in the hospital for 14 days due to COPD issues. She's been back several times since. The EMT's can be here in a few minutes and know the neighborhood.

Shopping is one mile away also. Perfect location as all her doctors are located in the immediate area.

While our 437 house community is nestled away in a forest, the area is a traffic problem due to build out of medical facilities, schools (Community college, high school nearby) and strip centers.

But based on the good points of living here, it would be difficult to match this area.

 

[silvor]

This is not surprising.

I know a number of people who thought they would retire to the rural, uncrowded countryside, only to find that medical needs, often urgent ones, made that problematic.

Also, the idea that the kids and grand kids would love to spend a few weekends a month at Grandma and Grandpa's rural home, turned out not to be true. For some reason the children and grand children have lives of their own.

This happened to my BILs parents. Bought a real nice lakeshore home and it wasn’t used like they thought by the grandkids. They eventually sold it and felt bad their “dream” didn’t pan out.

 

[MC Rider]

So I guess, don't plan your dream house around somebody else coming there.
Plan it for you, and if they come? Bonus.

My $2.

 

[Music Lover]

So I guess, don't plan your dream house around somebody else coming there.
Plan it for you, and if they come? Bonus.

My $2.

If you're going to move away and want to see people from where you used to live then it's probably wise to expect that you will be the one that has to make the effort to visit.

 

[RobbieB]

Same here. There are plenty of other places that all have certain advantages (and disadvantages), but we're very content where we are.

Yeah Baby!

All this noise of it's own creation.

My co-worker who drove me home on my last day of work (Company car, left at the office) asked me where I'm going for retirement. Nowhere, I'm happy where I am.

So we pull up to my humble abode with the unfinished front yard and he says "you really are the millionaire next door"

Yeah Baby!

 

[Romer]

My co-worker who drove me home on my last day of work (Company car, left at the office) asked me where I'm going for retirement. Nowhere, I'm happy where I am.

Same here

I moved into my forever home 13 years ago at age 47 with the full intent of living here until I pass or we can't take care of our selves. It's a large home but the rooms are functional like a Home Theater, Gym, my wife and I have our own office/studies and then a spare bedroom when the daughter and grandkids come from Miami. The other kids live nearby

Over the years we have made it our own with an extra 2 car Garage for my camper, A Larger rear deck.

We love the 1 acre lot on the edge of the city as it is great for the dogs and I like doing yard work. I can't picture life without dogs. They always listen to me and never tell me I am wrong We are close enough to be in Downtown Denver in 20 minutes (non rush hour) and far enough outside to not have to deal with the huge traffic jams. I can be deep in the mountains in under an hour and to either of my kids house in 20 minutes. We love our house and where it is.

Now that I am retiring I am adding Solar and a Battery BU system which will take well over 20 years to break even. I'll be here then and past that if able.

I can see the benefit of downsizing or moving to a place that you always have dreamed of. I am happy where I am. My wife wanted to make sure we bought our plots so the kids didnt have to worry about it, so you will find me either here or there as part of my forever home

 

[pb4uski]

... many couples near or in retirement embark on a quest to find the perfect place to spend their twilight years. Soon, however, some people realize that what’s perfect now may be less than ideal later. Poor health and dwindling finances are obvious reasons some seniors choose to move. Other retirees retool their priorities when they realize how much they miss the grandchildren or hate their new neighborhood.

In truth, most home buyers don’t stay in their homes as long as they think they will, says Jessica Lautz, vice president of demographics and behavioral insights with the National Association of Realtors, a trade group. “People may not want to move,” she says, “but they may decide to because life happens.” ...

I can see this. Some friends of ours retired about the same time as us. We both demolished and rebuilt our summer lakefront homes just before retiring (there's is considerably larger and nicer than ours but both are very nice). In both cases our forever retirement homes.

Fast forward 10 years. We're now both snowbirds and Florida residents. They no longer need the big and expensive summer home and are looking to sell and buy something that is smaller and seasonal. Similar story for us but we're unlikely to sell anytime soon due to our summer home's close proximity to my mother's family summer home that is a 2 minute walk away.

Life changes happen. We have another neighbor who is older and was for many years a Florida resident snowbird and spent summers at their summer home in Vermont. A couple years ago they sold the Florida home and bought a condo in Vermont near to family/grandchildren and kept the summer home.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I never understood moving in retirement. It’s much harder to make friends later in life unless you are moving into a friendly 55+ community. I knew the last house would be the last place that the two of us lived together. It was low maintenance and perfect to age in. With the divorce I moved into my condo which is now my forever house.

 

[jrcunniff]

I never understood moving in retirement. It’s much harder to make friends later in life unless you are moving into a friendly 55+ community.

I may relocate, I may not, still up in the air. From my perspective, I have a few close friends locally, but some of my best friends already live hours away from me. Of my local friends, a couple are talking about relocating themselves once they retire, so will probably not be around. So even if I decide not to relocate, I still might not have friends locally!

I think the equally big factor in deciding to relocate is building a new network of service providers. (Doctor, Dentist, Accountant, Auto Repair, etc.) It took some time for me to find professionals I liked/trusted where I am now, and the thought of rebuilding that network is a headache.

 

[donheff]

We had a beautiful place on the Potomac river an hour and a half from home. Most of our friends thought we would retire there but we never intended to. It was great while the kids were young and our friends were active (swimming, water skiiing, windsurfing) but we knew that would eventually slow down and it was not convenient to medical support. A few years ago the kids got busy with their own families, the friends slowed down, and visits dwindled so we sold the place. We will stay put in our walkable urban neighborhood with the kids nearby.

 

[RunningBum]

I never understood moving in retirement. It’s much harder to make friends later in life unless you are moving into a friendly 55+ community.

The traditional reason is that you are no longer bound to live near a job, nor are you concerned with schools. With remote working now much more common, especially with COVID, these are less of a factor so people may tend to already be where they want to be before they retire.

 

[Music Lover]

I never understood moving in retirement. It’s much harder to make friends later in life unless you are moving into a friendly 55+ community. I knew the last house would be the last place that the two of us lived together. It was low maintenance and perfect to age in. With the divorce I moved into my condo which is now my forever house.

I retired almost 6 years ago and never once thought about moving. All my friends (some of them I've known for 40+ years) and family are here, and I've been in one of my bands with the same 2 people for 40 years. We escape the cold for a month or two in winter but this is home.

I've also been in the same house for 25 years (fully paid off) and it will be our last house but technically won't be our forever home. We plan to sell before we get too old so that we can start spending down the proceeds from the sale of the house.

 

[skyking1]

It is somewhat easy for us, with the exception of DW who has never lived outside of a 7 mile radius of her childhood home. The truth is, her close friends are few and even though they are close in distance, we do not see them often at all. More calls by far.
We will be 2 hours away.
For ~40 years I have lived 3 hours from my family home and all of my brothers and sisters. We did all the driving in that relationship. 40 years rain or shine or snow, we crossed the Cascade mountains.
Now two sisters are in north Seattle, all the nieces and nephews are in Seattle. Only a brother and sister remain at the old digs across the mountains, and I see that changing as they both will move closer to the children.
Our new place will be ~2 hours from the family in Seattle, including the ferry ride.
We will make new friends and visit the old ones.

 

[Vacation4us]

Looking at that map tool, Nevada is a big open space, except Vegas.
Here in L.A. County it says there are 4 level 1 centers.
There is a level 2 center at the hospital that is less than a 10 minute walk from home.
I guess if you need it you are not walking there though.

Would that be Northridge Hospital? Oh memories…. One of my first nursing jobs and where I was trained in Labor and Delivery. I lived 5 minutes away down Reseda Blvd in an old not so nice 1 bedroom apt for $485/ month while my now ex lived in Warner Center and paid 815/ month. 30 years ago, how time flies.

 

[Extra Medium]

I think people set themselves up for failure by declaring homes as "forever", because needs and wants change. So do neighborhoods.

And yes, one medical scare and you take note of how long the paramedics might take to arrive...

For now I enjoy being close to nice shopping and restaurants, multiple airports - that might be less of a priority in 20 years. I can imagine I'll tire of neighbors with young kids as well... in far less time!

I never understand when people say they're never going to live somewhere else, or this is the last car they'll own or something like that (unless they know their time on this earth is short, of course). Who knows what the 10 years-from-now version of me will love or hate? I expect -and hope- to continue growing and changing to some degree for the rest of my life. How can I possibly be certain of my tastes or needs that far out? The 10 year-ago me certainly wasn't as smart or sophisticated, and had completely different ideas about many things (though he was a little better looking). I'm glad he didn't get to choose everything about my life today, much less another decade down the road.

This is essentially discussing a well-understood but relatively recently described psychological fallacy known as the End of History Illusion. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/End-of-history_illusion

 

[skyking1]

^ that right there is why I want to move! Our reasons for this home were to take care of DW's parents. They have been gone 21 years now.

 

[Katsmeow]

We sold our "forever" home. We had downsized when we didn't need the huge house any more. The "forever" home was a great house (I still like thinking of it). But, 6 years later our situation had changed. We had bought the house because we needed to be on an acre with not pet limits as we had several large dogs (plus the indoor cats). But, the dogs aged and slowly started passing away. Then, one day, we realized we could actually live in a regular subdivision.

The trade off for that acre had been that were 20 minutes from any grocery store, 45 minutes from major shopping. I didn't like the thought of when we were older and had to do that much driving.

We also no longer had to stay in that area due to work or kid requirements. So, we decided to sell that "forever" home to meet something that better meets our needs.

DH hates moving (his dad was in the Navy and he moved a lot as a child). He is big into the idea that our current home is our "forever" home. Me? I'm not so much into forever homes. I think that if your needs and wants change it is totally fine to move. We've been in our current house a little over 3 years. I actually love this house and love this location (many grocery stores less than 10 minutes away). But, you know, if what I needed or wanted changed in the future, I would move. I wouldn't be frivolous about it, but could do it.

 

[aja8888]

My neighbor and golf partner was in his "forever home" for the last 7 years (like us) and now he is in an assisted living facility after his bad stroke a month ago.

Unless a miracle happens, he won't be my neighbor again. Since his wife is handicapped (like mine is), and can't take care of herself, she will be moving once the kids try to figure out what to do with her. Right now, they are using home health care aids to help her, but that's costly and not a great solution.

 

[Jakob]

We recently moved to a new townhome in the community were we have live for 23 years. I had wanted to move to the city (Pgh) yet after many calculations for travel time I realized the the commute time in the city to local city hospitals was 15-20 minutes. From were we live the city Hospitals are 30 minutes and our local high quality hospital is 15 minutes. I am thankful for math.

 

[Luvtoride]

We recently moved to a new townhome in the community were we have live for 23 years. I had wanted to move to the city (Pgh) yet after many calculations for travel time I realized the the commute time in the city to local city hospitals was 15-20 minutes. From were we live the city Hospitals are 30 minutes and our local high quality hospital is 15 minutes. I am thankful for math.

Jakob, This makes sense to me other than perhaps “stairs” in a townhouse.
I read the article and it seems to me that the examples used were all people who made decisions to make big moves (far from areas they lived in or knew much about) without adequately exploring/ researching all of the factors necessary.
As I’ve stated in other threads here, being close to our kids and grandkids in the area we live now is the most important factor of where we will live in retirement. As others have also said it “we’re not going anywhere”.

 

[Chuckanut]

My former across the street neighbor was my boss, years ago. He retired and moved to Arizona with his wife. They grew homesick in AZ, and then their SIL, daughter and family moved in 5 doors down from me. My former boss and his wife moved in across the street from me; it was nirvana, close to grandkids, DD and SIL for 5 years. Then SIL took another job, sold the house and moved on. Former boss and wife moved on; don't know if they followed DD or not, but it sure cost them a lot of money over the 7 year period.

I live in a very high housing cost area. The above problem (multiple moves to chase after where the kids have gone) is an issue with many of us. I ran into a young guy just the other day who had dated one of my kids in HS. He manged to get a house in our area, but he admits most of his HS friends are moving out of state or to the other side of our state because they can't afford a house where they grew up. It's sad.

 

[RobbieB]

Medical issues were never much of a concern for me. Hospital 3 miles away.

Other "lifestyle" issues are good;

Marina 8 miles.
Outdoor shooting range 12 miles
Indoor range 1 mile
7 sushi bars in town
2 excellent Chinese restaurants in town, 5 more not so good
5 excellent taquerias, 1 excellent sit down with bar and a dozen also rans
3 hours from Reno, an hour and a half from Monterey
Legal marijuana

Plus, ranch house, no stairs to fall down requiring hospital time -

Why move?

 

[MC Rider]

Would that be Northridge Hospital? Oh memories…. One of my first nursing jobs and where I was trained in Labor and Delivery. I lived 5 minutes away down Reseda Blvd in an old not so nice 1 bedroom apt for $485/ month while my now ex lived in Warner Center and paid 815/ month. 30 years ago, how time flies.

Yes it is. My Doc is over there.


A 1 bedroom apartment might set you back more like $1800 now. Eek!
Glad we bought our house in 2010, could not afford it now.