Walking away from the money

[sparky08]

I have never understood this business about asking others if it is time for you to retire or if they agree that you should retire.

Who can peer into you soul and understand how you really feel? Certainly no one on this forum.

You know the answer to that question...whatever that answer is. No one else can answer it for you.

If you can afford to retire, and want to retire then make a decision. End of.

The OP asked "Anyone else been here? How did you deal mentally/emotionally with walking way from the money?"

I think that's a valid question and I'm learning a lot from the responses. I'm in the same situation.

 

[Bunker]

I have never understood this business about asking others if it is time for you to retire or if they agree that you should retire.

Who can peer into you soul and understand how you really feel? Certainly no one on this forum.

You know the answer to that question...whatever that answer is. No one else can answer it for you.

If you can afford to retire, and want to retire then make a decision. End of.

Cranky today?

He didn't ask for an up or down vote, or for anyone to decipher his feelings. He was asking for shared experience and feedback.

Internet is a dumpster fire these days but IMO, forums where like-minded people can talk about stuff like this, is useful and interesting.

 

[Lstansbury]

....We had a lot of inefficiencies in our budget so for us every $10K in annual cuts meant needing $400K less in total retirement funding (40 years X $10K), which was a lot more money than we were saving each year when we were working.

THIS!!! Is so eye opening. Even if you are just planning for 25 years in retirement because of health reasons, or current age... thats $250K less you have to try to sock away.

I'll keep it in my Inspo Quotes file, if you don't mind, DayLateDollarShort

 

[Lstansbury]

Golden Handcuffs

The key for me was to understand how much we needed, not how much I was giving up. This was [-]probably[/-] the most important factor in my decision to walk away.

The pay package was a hook, at the executive level there was a boatload of money along with intense peer pressure to consume, and also intense pressure to be a team player. An exec who spends it all can be relied on to always toe the line and never threaten the team, even when the objectives are increasingly outrageous and the environment emotionally oppressive.

I'm with you MichaelB. Golden handcuffs, we called them.

If you just have a big house like us, with big bills like us, then you don't call anyone out when things go a little wonky, (forced to manage a bosses' nephew who isn't performing maybe? Or forced to fire someone else competent to make room for bosses' nephew's salary?)

And you are expected to turn your head when these expectations cross the line into the "grey area" -- Just a couple of contracts going to friends who are friends of the company, too, right? Isn't everyone doing it?

It's sad to see, I do understand why people make those choices. F.I.R.E. wisdom and forums like this one are how I broke free. #grateful
"But for the grace of God, there go I."

 

[skyking1]

Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort
....We had a lot of inefficiencies in our budget so for us every $10K in annual cuts meant needing $400K less in total retirement funding (40 years X $10K), which was a lot more money than we were saving each year when we were working.

We are already pretty lean, but flipping SS to early rather than late had a similar effect. DW can hang fire on her SS as long as she wants to, and take my survivor's benefit till then if I take a powder. Hers is only 100 or so less than mine so that does not matter much.
Now I am modeling it that way and can stay completely out of the portfolio except for major travel, for the years of 2025 to 2030.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

THIS!!! Is so eye opening. Even if you are just planning for 25 years in retirement because of health reasons, or current age... thats $250K less you have to try to sock away.

I'll keep it in my Inspo Quotes file, if you don't mind, DayLateDollarShort

Feel free to use and share. My light bulb moment initially came flipping through a homesteading magazine while looking for something to read on vacation. I realized the people in the magazine actually seemed happier and had healthier lifestyles than most of our coworkers and neighbors - no long commutes, more control of their own lives, more family and friend time, and more exercise and fresh air. Homesteading seemed like too much work and we weren't into having to care for small livestock, but then I read about urban homesteading and that seemed like a good fit.

Since then we've optimized expenses, we no longer have to save for retirement, pay less in income taxes, no longer have small business and work expenses, and our kids are grown and off the payroll. Added all up we live better than we did before on 1/3 the expenses, plus we don't have to work. We are now living off of SS @ 62 and pensions @ 55 and can leave the portfolio and house to our kids so they can ER eventually, too. Not counting the savings from the kids growing up and the taxes, we cut around $40K off our expenses so far, which means needing $1.6M less in total retirement funding over a 40 year retirement.

 

[Timeisprecious]

You just do it.

If you want to.

If not, keep working -

+1. But, yes, I won't deny it can be a bit of a struggle. I wasn't making nearly as much as some in here, but for me $170K a year before all this inflation, with many tangible and intangible benefits, was pretty good compensation. I kind of hated to see that number in my rear view mirror. But you need to look forward to the joys of retirement. I think most in here will agree that a good and fun retirement is something you "develop," but the joy is that you can build it just about any way you want. For me the quitting in a way was easy - I had to go. The Army let me go for age - once my extention had been served, it was time. But I miss the Army dearly - the comradery, the friendships, the common oath, the satisfaction of serving my country in a real and practical way, and even the D & C (drill and ceremony, which some soldiers don't much like) are all things I miss. Again, I think the key is looking to the future and the joy and satisfaction you'll experience as a retiree.

 

[jollystomper]

Would you mind explaining this part a bit further: "At a certain point, having much more money for me was less about gaining a nicer life than I already had, and more about dealing with the increasing inconvenience it would bring."?

What are some examples of "increasing inconvenience it would bring"?

The more money people tend to have, the more the temptation to spend, and then you have to deal with the maintenance of those things. In my mind that does not bring about a proportional amount of happiness. I have friends who have large $1 million+ dollar homes on 10 acres, but the amount of time they have to spend maintaining it is not what I would want. The amount I see them spend paying someone else to maintain it I would not want to. I am fine with my house on an acre.

If my assets doubled, my first thought would be how much more I would have to deal with taxes, inheritance issues, etc., or paying someone to deal with that for me, which I would not like.

This is my view. Some folks here enjoy owning and maintaining real estate and rental properties. I do not. There is nothing wrong with them, I just choose to channel my happiness differently .

 

[Koolau]

If my assets doubled, my first thought would be how much more I would have to deal with taxes, inheritance issues, etc., or paying someone to deal with that for me, which I would not like.

Not to mention RMDs, extra passive income which affects MC or Obama Care limits and other limits, potential tax audits, vultures wanting to manage your money, neighbors looking askance at the "rich" guy on the corner, envy of everyone else, etc. etc. Still.... If someone offered to double my assets.... DANG! I'd go for it! What does that say about me?

 

[DawgMan]

Anyone else been here? How did you deal mentally/emotionally with walking way from the money?

I feel ya bro... I have played this same scenario out on this site many times (some major analysis/paralysis!). For some of us, we need a little time to down shift (in my case). Most people in my profession ride out to mid 60's - 70's, especially if the market is running hot (like now). I intentionally chose to get out when I had what I wanted as it related to NW/investable assets, but allot of forces pushing against me. You may need to slow play your exit if your business allows it. It has worked for me. Good luck!

 

[Timeisprecious]

Not to mention RMDs, extra passive income which affects MC or Obama Care limits and other limits, potential tax audits, vultures wanting to manage your money, neighbors looking askance at the "rich" guy on the corner, envy of everyone else, etc. etc. Still.... If someone offered to double my assets.... DANG! I'd go for it! What does that say about me?

 

[WhiskyDave]

I had to go. The Army let me go for age - once my extention had been served, it was time. But I miss the Army dearly - the comradery, the friendships, the common oath, the satisfaction of serving my country in a real and practical way, and even the D & C (drill and ceremony, which some soldiers don't much like) are all things I miss. Again, I think the key is looking to the future and the joy and satisfaction you'll experience as a retiree.

I can imagine transitioning from the Armed Services is even more difficult, as it's a way of life and even more of your identity...I think your advice is spot on, it's about looking forward and not back. One door has to close for another to open.

 

[Spanky]

True but I certainly enjoy reading other people’s perspective on this to help me plan/time my own escape.

+1 -- it is very helpful and interesting.

 

[TheWizard]

Not to mention RMDs, extra passive income which affects MC or Obama Care limits and other limits, potential tax audits, vultures wanting to manage your money, neighbors looking askance at the "rich" guy on the corner, envy of everyone else, etc. etc. Still.... If someone offered to double my assets.... DANG! I'd go for it! What does that say about me?

I could EASILY deal with 10X more financial assets, meaning passive investments.
But that doesn't mean I would go out and acquire lots more STUFF.
I have no problem paying 10x higher income taxes but would not want certain other overhead items that sap my time...

 

[Magus]

You can't retire early without leaving money on the table. But if you keep working when you don't have to you are leaving your life on the table.

Every year you work is one less year of living life on your own terms.

These realities helped me.

Great way to look at it!

 

[MC Rider]

The things you own,
end up owning you.

 

[pjigar]

You can do anything, or nothing, it's great!

As my recently ERed friend said to me: " ER is great. I highly recommend it to everyone".

 

[pjigar]

DH developed health issues so we realized free time and less stress were way more important that more money. I've been getting into low consumption and self sufficiency so I work on those hobbies now instead of making more money. We had a lot of inefficiencies in our budget so for us every $10K in annual cuts meant needing $400K less in total retirement funding (40 years X $10K), which was a lot more money than we were saving each year when we were working.

Thankfully we are healthy but I just value time more than money. I have been on a crusade to cut my expense inefficiency for a last few years. The biggest expense was the housing related cost so we moved to an acreage which allowed me to cut that expense way down AND now we have room to grow. Pun intended. By the way, growing is on the hold until we tidy up the homestead.

 

[Bunker]

As my recently ERed friend said to me: " ER is great. I highly recommend it to everyone".

After my Dad retired at 68, 2 years later he said:


"Wow! This retirement stuff if great! Everybody should try it at least once in their life."


True story, true quote.

 

[Bunker]

Thankfully we are healthy but I just value time more than money. I have been on a crusade to cut my expense inefficiency for a last few years. The biggest expense was the housing related cost so we moved to an acreage which allowed me to cut that expense way down AND now we have room to grow. Pun intended. By the way, growing is on the hold until we tidy up the homestead.

Sounds like you're still focused on money, not time. Re-read what you said.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Sounds like you're still focused on money, not time. Re-read what you said.

Many people enjoy projects like vegetable gardening over sitting in a cubicle inside all day. It is not a waste of time if it a fun hobby that also saves money.

 

[pjigar]

Sounds like you're still focused on money, not time. Re-read what you said.

My response was related to homesteading comment. I meant growing vegetable/food and general homesteading. I have cut my work (for money) hours in a last few years and took a pay cut as a result. I spend more time doing things I like which revolves around "create, build, fix" theme. Currently I am building up the acreage and the growing part is on hold.


PS: Ah, I see what you mean. Lot of my hobbies are labor of love so that does not feel work to me. YMMV.

 

[street]

My response was related to homesteading comment. I meant growing vegetable/food and general homesteading. I have cut my work (for money) hours in a last few years and took a pay cut as a result. I spend more time doing things I like which revolves around "create, build, fix" theme. Currently I am building up the acreage and the growing part is on hold.


PS: Ah, I see what you mean. Lot of my hobbies are labor of love so that does not feel work to me. YMMV.

There are many things I do and enjoy doing, but it is work. It is work for me but I love doing it, so the work isn't work to me.

I like what you are focusing on in life. That type of hobby work is so good for health and mind. IMO

 

[Koolau]

[/B]
There are many things I do and enjoy doing, but it is work. It is work for me but I love doing it, so the work isn't work to me.

I like what you are focusing on in life. That type of hobby work is so good for health and mind. IMO

YES, and if you save a few bucks (or even make a few bucks) doing that, it's STILL not really w*rk! When my dad retired (more or less against his will) he put out a quarter acre plot of vegetables. No way could he consume that much himself and he couldn't sell much of it (as everybody and their dog was growing veggies during the season.) So he gave most of it away to the little old ladies (you know, the ones a couple of years older than he was) He would come home each day from his garden, hot, dirty, tired - and refreshed. That's not w*rk! YMMV

 

[Gumby]

That's what I do these days - grow vegetables. I only have about 1500 sqft. of garden, but it produces way more than the young wife and I can eat. I often come back home sweaty, dirty and tired, but I enjoy every minute of it.