7 years FIRE'd and doing way better than expected. Why does that worry me?

Before I retired I had run the calculators and had a dozen of my own spreadsheets all saying pull the trigger. At that time I still had 2 kids in college and lived in a HCOL area (northern VA). At the end of 2023 I had 39% higher net worth than when I retired. My investments are simple 3 fund (total stock, total bond, total international).

The kids are all now self sufficient. We sold the house and moved to a lower cost area (DW work did that, she has since retired). No mortgage, no car payments. We still live well below our means. I'm getting the urge to splurge but still struggle with actually doing that. I guess I'm asking is this normal? And should I feel "safe" letting the reins loose?

Sounds like you can afford it. My question would be, do you feel deprived? If so, then I'd say there is an issue to work through so you are comfortable spending to a level you don't feel you are missing out. If not, why worry? I'm not itching to splurge but think if I hit about 150% of my starting I have a few things that might be nice to spend on. I do think it's hard (or maybe just against our nature) for lifetime habitual savers to splurge. I tend to upgrade when things wear out but rarely just buy new stuff just to have something shiny and new.

Most of us struggle with the transition from saving/LBYM to spending - it’s only natural. So ramp up spending a little if you’re comfortable with it, preferably on spends you can reverse if necessary. Many of us have (much) higher NW than when we retired. But there will be recessions eventually, how bad/how long is anyone’s guess. DW and I have loosened up the purse strings some, but even after 13 years retired, we have another 20+ years to go so too soon to test our $ limits.

If you look at FIRECALC or better yet FICALC results you will see that it’s just luck of the draw if you retire into a period of good returns (like now) or very poor returns. Good periods and bad periods can last a long time…

FLSUnFIRE said:

Sounds like you can afford it. My question would be, do you feel deprived? If so, then I'd say there is an issue to work through so you are comfortable spending to a level you don't feel you are missing out. If not, why worry? I'm not itching to splurge but think if I hit about 150% of my starting I have a few things that might be nice to spend on. I do think it's hard (or maybe just against our nature) for lifetime habitual savers to splurge. I tend to upgrade when things wear out but rarely just buy new stuff just to have something shiny and new.

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I don't feel deprived. I do not worry about spending on the daily stuff - like dining out which I no longer consider a splurge. Just perhaps the bigger ticket items. Guess the transition from save to spend is just taking me longer and I should put more faith in what my balance sheet is telling me.

The CPI-W has gone up 29% in the last 7 years since you retired, so your 39% portfolio gain is mostly inflation. That may be why you don't feel rich enough to splurge without worries.

Exchme said:

The CPI-W has gone up 29% in the last 7 years since you retired, so your 39% portfolio gain is mostly inflation. That may be why you don't feel rich enough to splurge without worries.

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Wow… that is a really good comment. I’ve kind of forgot about that. It helps put things in better perspective.

Retired nine years ago and I am feeling fine about loosening the reins. My wife, however, is struggling with the idea that we really do have more than enough and we can afford to leave behind a bit less than what I am projecting (no children, so beneficiaries are a few favourite relatives and lots of charities). There is no contentious arguing, to be sure; we understand our different points of view and decided to meet in the middle, once our GPS/SatNav can locate it.

rjsob58 said:

Before I retired I had run the calculators and had a dozen of my own spreadsheets all saying pull the trigger. At that time I still had 2 kids in college and lived in a HCOL area (northern VA). At the end of 2023 I had 39% higher net worth than when I retired. My investments are simple 3 fund (total stock, total bond, total international).

The kids are all now self sufficient. We sold the house and moved to a lower cost area (DW work did that, she has since retired). No mortgage, no car payments. We still live well below our means. I'm getting the urge to splurge but still struggle with actually doing that. I guess I'm asking is this normal? And should I feel "safe" letting the reins loose?

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Similar to you, I retired almost 7 1/2 years ago. I'm almost all stock and NW is up now almost 70% so I'm starting to spend more ---dental stuff, helping family, charity, etc and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm sure a nasty bear market will give me pause, but yeah I get the mental struggle with spending more.

rjsob58 said:

Before I retired I had run the calculators and had a dozen of my own spreadsheets all saying pull the trigger. At that time I still had 2 kids in college and lived in a HCOL area (northern VA). At the end of 2023 I had 39% higher net worth than when I retired. My investments are simple 3 fund (total stock, total bond, total international).

The kids are all now self sufficient. We sold the house and moved to a lower cost area (DW work did that, she has since retired). No mortgage, no car payments. We still live well below our means. I'm getting the urge to splurge but still struggle with actually doing that. I guess I'm asking is this normal? And should I feel "safe" letting the reins loose?

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Similiar situation here. RE in 2005. Had never heard of FireCALC so I, too, had a series of spreadsheets forecasting the liklihood of a successful early retirement. I assumed a 0% increase in pension and SS and a 5% annual increase in expenses. To my amazement we were good until our 100th birthdays so we pulled our ripcords. For the longest time I was waiting for the other shoe to drop but we were fine. More than fine since our NW tripled between 2005 and 2021 before it doubled again due to an inheritance. So, relax and enjoy the good life.

I think what you are feeling is normal. What we did was create a "safety buffer" number mentally, and if investments fell below that...we'd stop the splurging. For example, let's say you have $1.58M now, and feel like you need to have at least $1.2M by the end of 2024 to keep the FIRE life forever. Set a buffer of $100k in your mind so that your new "goal" for 12/31/24 is $1.3M. When you do your "financial health check" early next year, if you've fallen below $1.3M, adjust your spending to cut out any future splurges until you feel comfortable again.

Don't spend more just for the sake of spending more, unless it's something you really want, and feel comfortable with the expenditure. As Midpack mentioned, both good and periods can last quite a while. The cushion that you've built up over the last few years could be helpful to your comfort level in any future down markets we might experience.

Exchme said:

The CPI-W has gone up 29% in the last 7 years since you retired, so your 39% portfolio gain is mostly inflation. That may be why you don't feel rich enough to splurge without worries.

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+1. Yep, the level of inflation we've experienced in recent years really screams out that we need to talk about things like net worth in "real" terms.

Six and a half years for me. Portfolio is up 40%, all kinds of travel, lots of new toys including a new sedan and adventure van. We’ve never stuck to a budget.
I worried back then, don’t anymore.
We’ll be fine no matter what.

We just had someone move here from NOVA that fits this profile and I haven't seen them out yet on my morning walk. Perhaps you're worried because you know what it took to get here and remember what things were like in 2007-2009? Make no doubt about it the transition from saving to spending is hard very hard. We've been retired for a decade now and are in our mid-late 50s and struggle with this still. Economic times are murky right now due to the fog of info and the spin cycle. The dust needs to settle out a little for clarity.

6 years for me, NW up 30% while putting 2 kids through college. Same as you I guess.

Performance of the market has helped all of us in the past 5 years a lot.

That said, I am starting to spend a bit more but still stay below 4%.

Sounds like a common theme here. Wife and I retired in May of 2013 with both kids still in college (and both deciding to continue for a masters degree after we retired). Our portfolio is up over 2X. Like others, we were pretty stingy for several years into retirement - maybe even into 2020. We've since gotten a little more loose with our travel, gifts, and charities.

rjsob58 said:

Before I retired I had run the calculators and had a dozen of my own spreadsheets all saying pull the trigger. At that time I still had 2 kids in college and lived in a HCOL area (northern VA). At the end of 2023 I had 39% higher net worth than when I retired. My investments are simple 3 fund (total stock, total bond, total international).

The kids are all now self sufficient. We sold the house and moved to a lower cost area (DW work did that, she has since retired). No mortgage, no car payments. We still live well below our means. I'm getting the urge to splurge but still struggle with actually doing that. I guess I'm asking is this normal? And should I feel "safe" letting the reins loose?

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First of all, congratulations. We blew past FI more than 10 years ago but I continue to work because I like it. I was at work today walking alone to the break room to get a cup of coffee and saw colleagues at a distance who are younger and most probably not FI but doing well, nonetheless. The fact I've had FU money for this long has become so normalized that I don't even appreciate it as much as I should. I see those colleagues and I realize they have mortgages, kids in college and high expenses and I'm glad we are not there anymore. I still work very hard and smart, much more than necessary but it is always nice to be able to "take this job and shove it" if it ever came to that.

My advice is to enjoy where you are at and don't comparison shop with friends, families, neighbors and anyone else and live your life focused on keeping happy and satisfied. Spending money doesn't necessary make one happier if you're the type who are used to living below your means. For me, living below our means is a satisfying existence, something I'm proud of. I told my nephew a little about our assets as he is an MBA and quite astute in investments. He understands that cash is king and having more is better than having less. He understands our relatively humble lifestyle and gets it. He sees value in always being able to buy or pay for anything we may need or want at anytime it presents itself and never having to worry about "how much" it is is going to cost. There is great value to having reserves to do whatever you want.

Don't get me wrong, we're not penny-pinching. We drive late model cars, our landscaping is the best in our modest neighborhood, our home is well-furnished, kitchen has professional appliances, etc. We just don't show that much on the outside. We fly business class when we travel international but don't tell people we do.

If you have the urge to splurge I say go for it, at least do it in a rational and responsible way. You can only buy so many sports cars, Rolex watches and first class trips but the important thing is how you feel after you splurge. If you're OK with it then go for it.

Yup, similar here, but I haven't done as well as most of you. Retired 2016 age 65 with $4.5MM portfolio. Just turned 73 with just under $6MM today. No debt/mortgage. Waited to 70 to hit social security, and that brings in $75,000/year. We try to withdraw 3% on top of that. But I fully appreciate the fact that there has been little increase in inflation adjusted dollars.

leeg said:

Yup, similar here, but I haven't done as well as most of you. Retired 2016 age 65 with $4.5MM portfolio. Just turned 73 with just under $6MM today. No debt/mortgage. Waited to 70 to hit social security, and that brings in $75,000/year. We try to withdraw 3% on top of that. But I fully appreciate the fact that there has been little increase in inflation adjusted dollars.

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Yeah, I have to remind myself that the nominal income we receive is being "taxed" away by inflation. I see the effects every day now. EVERYTHING is going up in price. The growth of my stash is amazing, but knowing it doesn't buy any more is depressing. YMMV

OP--I think your feelings are normal. Going from savings mode to spend mode can present a hurdle for many.
Try starting smaller--go to finer restaurants, stay in more expensive hotels when traveling, etc.
We now allow ourselves to fly first class.
But I still budget and we don't travel a lot!
As long as you do not feel deprived of anything, simply live the life you want. If you have enough for what you need and want, and there is left over at the end of your life, so be it.
Why people feel angst that they don't spend everything and "worked too hard" or whatever is beyond me.
Enjoy each day, spend what you can and your budget allows. Life is too short to worry about too much money! A good position to be in.

Bryan Barnfellow said:

Retired nine years ago and I am feeling fine about loosening the reins. My wife, however, is struggling with the idea that we really do have more than enough...

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My wife and I have had a role reversal in that over our five years in retirement. I was always the more financially cautious one, but now she is cautious and I'm comfortable with spending more.

Our net worth has slightly beat inflation despite 4-4.5% draws from retirement accounts after the first year and stock allocations that were quite conservative.