GoodSense
Full time employment: Posting here.
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2007
- Messages
- 678
I don't know if this issue has been discussed. If so, I apologize.
Lately DH and I are having some debates about whether we should have kids or not. I would just like to hear your experiences and thoughts. We both turn 30 this year, and have been married for just over 7 years.
We have both been ambivalent about whether we should children. The decision seems even harder now that we are taking ER more seriously. I am an only child and there's some pressure from my parents about grandkids. Other than that, my desire for children is mostly based on fear: fear that we would miss out on this great experience, fear that I will regret it when I am too old to have children, or fear that when we are too old to think, someone will try to take all our money through some scam. Since we both have longevity in our genes, we might outlive all of our friends, and no one will come to our funerals (maybe a stretch, since I won't really care).
So here's the breakdown:
Pros: (overly practical, probably)
- The joy of having children (silly questions, laughters, milestones, re-living my own childhood, witness to the miracle called maturity)
- Something to look forward to (When will they EVER leave the house??)
- Possibility of grandkids
- (Possibly) someone to look over our finances when we are too old to think
- Satisfied my parents' nagging
- May give children the life I've always wanted to live (lots of traveling, learning different languages and cultures, etc.) although he or she may hate it
Cons:
- Deprivation of free time and mobility
- Big drain on finances
- Will delay ER by 10 - 15 years (25 years from now, vs. 15 years)
- We can't be living like beach bums or live in an RV (my long-term dream), at least until children go to college
- We can't travel around the world and just do odd jobs to barely sustain a living, at least until children go to college (by then I'll be too old to want to do that)
Some people say you just know it when it's time to have children. Is that true? I know I may sound like a very selfish person, but I'm only seriously confused. Any thoughts and insights are appreciated. Also, let me know if I missed anything.
Lately DH and I are having some debates about whether we should have kids or not. I would just like to hear your experiences and thoughts. We both turn 30 this year, and have been married for just over 7 years.
We have both been ambivalent about whether we should children. The decision seems even harder now that we are taking ER more seriously. I am an only child and there's some pressure from my parents about grandkids. Other than that, my desire for children is mostly based on fear: fear that we would miss out on this great experience, fear that I will regret it when I am too old to have children, or fear that when we are too old to think, someone will try to take all our money through some scam. Since we both have longevity in our genes, we might outlive all of our friends, and no one will come to our funerals (maybe a stretch, since I won't really care).
So here's the breakdown:
Pros: (overly practical, probably)
- The joy of having children (silly questions, laughters, milestones, re-living my own childhood, witness to the miracle called maturity)
- Something to look forward to (When will they EVER leave the house??)
- Possibility of grandkids
- (Possibly) someone to look over our finances when we are too old to think
- Satisfied my parents' nagging
- May give children the life I've always wanted to live (lots of traveling, learning different languages and cultures, etc.) although he or she may hate it
Cons:
- Deprivation of free time and mobility
- Big drain on finances
- Will delay ER by 10 - 15 years (25 years from now, vs. 15 years)
- We can't be living like beach bums or live in an RV (my long-term dream), at least until children go to college
- We can't travel around the world and just do odd jobs to barely sustain a living, at least until children go to college (by then I'll be too old to want to do that)
Some people say you just know it when it's time to have children. Is that true? I know I may sound like a very selfish person, but I'm only seriously confused. Any thoughts and insights are appreciated. Also, let me know if I missed anything.