Can't stop savers mentality

[Elbata]

At the risk of being morbid, wait until some good friends and/or relatives your age or younger suddenly die of some accident or disease that came out of nowhere. You will probably decide to up your spending quite a bit.

That said, I have had the same problem and I still have to look in the mirror at times and ask 'What, exactly, are you waiting for?'

My problem is I've never kept an actual written budget. So, for now, I'm actually going to follow a budget to see my spending patterns and monthly amount. I have a feeling it's going to be lower than what I allow myself to spend.

 

[street]

Like others have said after years of saving that good habit is hard to break. I find myself being more frugal then ever. Ii have only been retired for 16 month's and as time goes by I will open up the purse strings a little more I'm sure.

 

[Sunset]

We have the same issue, and have been retired about 3 years.

A lifetime of saving, along with being homeless at one time and needing, yes actually needing to use a food bank really cemented in the frugal ways.

I think it's important to try out some things, even if they are expensive experiences to see if you like them and to get some 'fun' out of life with something new.

We did the following which for us was new frivolous spending:

We have gone on 2 Caribbean cruises, and honestly the second one was more fun as we paid for 2 overpriced excursions (about $225 ea).

We also did a Viking river cruise in Europe, it was expensive, everyone knows they are expensive, we picked a 2 week trip as that was better bang for the buck. It was $5,000 per person !!
It was also super incredible, really great, and probably the best vacation for us. We will do this again in a year or two when we find a new trip with new sites to see.

I urge OP to try out new experiences before becoming too old to even try.

 

[Sojourner]

... If you are not spending money on something you want, or want to do, why not allocate an annual 2% for "fun?" 2% is well below what is deemed a SWR, so in a sense you are still saving yet starting to enjoy the fruits of your LBYM ways.

I like this idea. Start with a small, set amount—say, $50/month—to ease yourself into it. This is basically the "fun bucket" idea, where you set aside a certain amount every month that you have to spend on nonessentials or luxuries that would make you smile and add a little extra joy to your life. For me, it might be something like buying a really nice $25 bottle of vintage wine instead of my usual $15 bottle. Or splurging on a high-end pair of designer jeans for $100-$150 instead of buying the less well-made $30 kind. Point is, the fun bucket spending is not optional, so the overly frugal person inside you can't just take over and dictate your spending habits 24/7. Think of it like paying your mortgage or your insurance premiums, only in this case, you're paying to increase the fun and enjoyment in your life a bit.

 

[gayl]

I like the "fun bucket" & charity ideas best ☺

To do list:
Stop reinvesting dividends in IRA
Split it between Food Bank & Wardrobe for Opportunity
Find something for fun bucket $$ from DBP & other dividends

For what it's worth, I do manage to take 2 longish trips abroad each year. This year it's it was Brussels for two weeks and I'm off to Japan for a month in a month. I've also been on a boat 30 cruises? I think so? I'm Diamond on Carnival which is the one I take with the little kids, and Elite on Princess which is what the one I take with olders although the grandkids are heavily into classical music and would rather be on Princess. (Took them on one of those and they frown on Carnival now.)

 

[Sunset]

....
For what it's worth, I do manage to take 2 longish trips abroad each year. This year it's it was Brussels for two weeks and I'm off to Japan for a month in a month. I've also been on a boat 30 cruises? I think so? I'm Diamond on Carnival which is the one I take with the little kids, and Elite on Princess which is what the one I take with olders although the grandkids are heavily into classical music and would rather be on Princess. (Took them on one of those and they frown on Carnival now.)

Great, and I still recommend trying a river cruise, it is luxury travel, they are generally adults only, ours had a 16-17 grand daughter for 1 guest, but it was with special permission.
I did appreciate the lack of screaming/running kids that we normally find on Carnival.

 

[BigNick]

I more or less stopped saving, but I don't like spending the "cushion". I get slightly anxious when my car goes into the shop in case it's going to be a $500 repair, which is just stupid because even when it is, I just write a check and my brain releases some more endorphins </Homer>. I need to lighten up.

DW does this way better than me. She took the family (me, DS/DD and partners) for a 3-day splurge weekend in NYC: business class flights, fairly fancy hotel on Times Square, stretch limo to/from the airport, good dinners, trip to the ball game, tickets to the Empire State building, all kinds of stuff. The concession she had to make to get me to buy into this was to move all the money out into a separate pile beforehand. Something about my psychology makes me OK to spend once I've earmarked the money, but I hate surprises, even an unexpected cover charge of a few bucks.

 

[FIREd]

We have a "fun account". At the beginning of the year, we decide how much we can afford to withdraw from our investments, divide that number by 12, and we withdraw that amount automatically on a monthly basis.

Some of the money withdrawn from investments goes to pay the bills, but some (about 40% right now) goes into a "fun account" (savings account). Once the money is withdrawn from investments, I no longer consider it part of my retirement portfolio. So it is a lot easier to actually spend it (since I no longer include the money in the fun account in my future WR calculations, spending it or not makes no difference on our plan's success rate).

We let the money accumulate in the "fun account" until we are ready to buy something that we want - we don't spend our fun money for the sake of spending it. Right now we are letting the fun account grow to pay for a trip to Europe in the spring for example. The money won't get spent this year, but it will get spent.

 

[gayl]

Great, and I still recommend trying a river cruise, it is luxury travel, they are generally adults only, ours had a 16-17 grand daughter for 1 guest, but it was with special permission.
I did appreciate the lack of screaming/running kids that we normally find on Carnival.

what are river cruises like for singles? My oversees trips are usually solo trips .... met up with GS BF (they've been together 3+ yrs) over there but most of the time I was alone .... and I don't miss the running kids either but the little grands are 4 yrs, 3 yrs, 20 months so they'd be unappreciated on Princess

 

[Sunset]

Our river cruise was a small number of passengers, less than 180. Certainly most folks on it were couples, or friends traveling together.

Every day there was an included walking tour after we stopped in the heart of a town/city, the walking tours were just whoever was interested and we were a little mob of 12-20 people plus the guide (hard to tell which were couples as we moved and took photos) and then free time afterwards to wander or take some other tour.

Everyone was pretty friendly, sometimes we joined others in going sightseeing as an independent group. I found it pretty easy to talk to various people, regardless of whether I was with DW or alone.
I do know Viking has what they call an occasional singles supplement, but I have no idea exactly what it is.

I noticed on our trip that a couple of rooms were empty on the ship, and our bill for the trip was broken out on a per person basis, so why wouldn't they want to fill that extra room with even just 1 person at the per person rate (1/2 couple rate) ?

 

[Meadbh]

what are river cruises like for singles?

I'm single, and I have taken four cruises, including one river cruise. It was a Danube cruise with Avalon Waterways. I simply told my travel agent what type of cruise I was interested in, and asked her to find one with no single supplement. Which she did! Each year, Avalon has at least one cruise aimed at singles, where they waive the supplement. As it happened, the ship (Avalon Vista) sailed at about 80% capacity. There were quite a few singles. It was a wonderful cruise. The stateroom, service, and places visited were all great. The guests were all adults and I met lots of interesting people. I would definitely recommend it.

 

[youbet]

asked her to find one with no single supplement. Which she did!

That's handy, even for couples (marrieds, committed or simply close friends). Even if you wind up sleeping in the same room/cabin, having the second room is more than handy just for the extra space, etc.

 

[Sunset]

That's handy, even for couples (marrieds, committed or simply close friends). Even if you wind up sleeping in the same room/cabin, having the second room is more than handy just for the extra space, etc.

That will kill it off pretty quickly...

 

[NW-Bound]

So I hung it up February 1st 2017 but continue saving over 40% of my income...

I have no pension, hence no real income until we decide to draw on SS. And when we do, it is going to be lower than what we are spending now. So, no real savings is possible for us.

We will always be spending from our stash, whether a lot or a little, but we will not be adding to it.

Now, we may be underspending what the market god recently gives, but he is not always this generous.

 

[gayl]

Thanks all. Called Viking. They permit singles but charge as if a double. Will look at Avalon to see if they have the Ukraine without a dbl charge. They do advertise waiving single supplement. Otherwise I'll just hop on a plane next April

 

[omni550]

gayl,

G Adventures does not charge a single supplement if you are willing to have them match you up with a same sex roommate.

I've not done a tour with them, but friends have and spoke highly of their experience.

https://www.gadventures.com/about-us/why-travel-with-gadventures/

omni

 

[RunningBum]

gayl,

G Adventures does not charge a single supplement if you are willing to have them match you up with a same sex roommate.

I've not done a tour with them, but friends have and spoke highly of their experience.

https://www.gadventures.com/about-us/why-travel-with-gadventures/

omni

For someone looking to loosen the purse strings a bit, I don't think there's a need to room with a stranger. Maybe it's just me that it doesn't appeal to me. But the OP seemed receptive to my thoughts about upgrading travel, and this seems a step back.

 

[Meadbh]

For someone looking to loosen the purse strings a bit, I don't think there's a need to room with a stranger. Maybe it's just me that it doesn't appeal to me. But the OP seemed receptive to my thoughts about upgrading travel, and this seems a step back.

I agree. I once shared a room with someone I didn't know, and it was fine, but these days, privacy is non-negotiable for me.

 

[Scuba]

It sounds like you've had a pretty rough road. Perhaps direct some income towards charities that help people who find themselves in similar straights.

It will burn down some cash, get you spending, help someone, and there is ample evidence that helping others generates more happiness than marginal consumption.

Just a thought.

+1
Giving to a cause meaningful to you can be very satisfying and if part of why you are reluctant to spend involves a feeling of guilt, perhaps giving funds to a charity would ease that guilty feeling.

 

[Scuba]

Great, and I still recommend trying a river cruise, it is luxury travel, they are generally adults only, ours had a 16-17 grand daughter for 1 guest, but it was with special permission.
I did appreciate the lack of screaming/running kids that we normally find on Carnival.

Or try one of the smaller/luxury ship lines - Windstar, Sea Dream, Seabourne, Oceana, or Crystal. Maybe you'll enjoy the experience more and will start spending more on travel. Better yet, charter a private crewed yacht with friends.

 

[Teacher Terry]

The first year we were retired I was nervous and limited spending. After that we started to spend more on what makes us happy which is traveling, eating out and other experiences. I would never share a room with a stranger. Ugh!

 

[audreyh1]

For someone looking to loosen the purse strings a bit, I don't think there's a need to room with a stranger. Maybe it's just me that it doesn't appeal to me. But the OP seemed receptive to my thoughts about upgrading travel, and this seems a step back.

If I were traveling as a single, no way would I share room. I need alone time, especially if traveling as part of a group where you share the day and meals together. Even with family, LOL.

 

[Sojourner]

If I were traveling as a single, no way would I share room. I need alone time, especially if traveling as part of a group where you share the day and meals together. Even with family, LOL.

+1

 

[Danmar]

My plan is self fulfilling as I spend what the portfolio generates. Why would I want to save more. By not touching the principal do I meet the definition of a saver?

Likewise here. However, since the portfolio keeps increasing I recently decided to liquidate small amounts of stock and bump our spending a bit. I expect the portfolio will, nevertheless, continue to increase. My plan is to keep my divs increasing by about 5% per year to make sure inflation on my total income, including non cola pension, is covered. This will allow for fairly significant liquidations, at least till we get some negative market event.

 

[freedomatlast]

Even though I am FI but not yet ER, I'm trying to learn to spend more by paying others to do chores that I would rather not do, such as wallpaper removal, painting, etc. I'd much rather spend that time biking, hiking or kayaking. This is hard for an avid DIYer.