Contemplating when to get serious about CCRC?

[Dtail]

Haven't given much thought to going into one. DGF loves our current one story house and has indicated she doesn't really wish to move again. We wlll see.

 

[Pellice]

I have written previously about an 85 year old friend who has waited too long. She doesn't have family near, and cannot get around too well to check out facilities, although she does drive. She is having trouble making decisions about downsizing, about preparing her house for sale, just the whole process. It's depressing her a lot. I am taking lessons from her experience.

You want to be in good enough health that you don't immediately have to move to another level of the community, and also so you can take advantage of activities and make friends.

One can begin some physical preparations now. I'm somwhere in the middle about the need to downsize. Have decluttered several times, but more to do. One can also make decisions about what upgrades or repairs should be made to a house before it can be put on the market. I've just started that. Putting myself on a waiting list kind of focused my mind.

 

[donheff]

We are not going into CCRC as we plan to age in place. We plan to hire a home care agency if we need care and we both have sufficient LTCI. We are both introverts and staying home is the most desirable option for us.

This is our plan, particularly since DW is dead set against CCRC because her father had a bad experience with a high end place with a good reputation. We have excellent LTCI and are members of a community non-profit that helps people age in place.

If DW dies before me I will research CCRCs for myself (if I am still in condition to do so). I like the community aspects of them and have Parkinson's Disease so will eventually need a lot of help. I can probably achieve what I need at home with LTC and the "Village" non-profit's support but a high end CCRC would be an attractive option.

 

[googily]

Assuming I remain a single childless widow (which is my plan!), I am going to need to have some sort of plan for care that lessens the burden on my siblings and/or nieces and nephews. Only 55 now, and I guess I am dreaming that sometime in the next 20 years there is a revolution in elder care. I live in a two story townhouse, so can't really age in place here, but I too am an introvert and so am not all excited to make any sort of move just because of all of the social offerings. [emoji16] We were able to care for my mother with dementia in home, with daily care aides, though she also had ALS so it was not a slow decline. My dad is 88 and still wildly self sufficient, so I'm hoping that's the road I go down. But I do keep an eye on these type of discussions.

 

[harllee]

My mother lives in a nice CCRC in an independent apartment and loves it. At age 90 she is still active and likes all the activities and trips they plan. It is comforting to know that she can move in the same complex to assisted living, skilled nursing or memory care if needed. We are moving to a CCRC also so that no one in our family will have the burden of figuring out what to do with us as we age. We want to make that decision for ourselves while we are able.

 

[pacergal]

We plan to age at home. Single level 1700 sf home, easy to manage and can hire yard and house cleaner when needed.
I have thought about CCRC, there are several around that are nice. Have not looked into the financials. DH is not sold at all, and I feel it is too soon at our age now-mid 60s.
If something happened to DH, I may look harder. But Kids and grands are nearby so they can/will help with staying put in the house.

 

[ncbill]

The best CCRCs here locally are all church-run...if you aren't a congregant you have no realistic chance of getting into that particular CCRC.

Grandparents moved into one of the top ones (see above) locally back in the mid-1990s when she was in her early 70s, he in his early 80s...that was the third CCRC they lived in...the others they stayed no more than a year or two...so be aware your first couple of choices may not be the right fit.

At the time the (nonrefundable) buy-in for their 2BR/2BA cottage was only $75,000...today it's closer to $275,0000.

Monthly fees...well, by the time granddad died a decade after moving in grandma was paying $1,000/month in fees...then she got a notice saying since new residents in the cottages were paying $2,000/month, that would be her new fee, starting the following month...she and other long-term residents protested so it was phased in at an extra $100/month...IIRC cottage residents now pay around $3,000/monthly...monthly fees for independent or assisted living are even higher.

A decade after granddad died she moved into an independent apartment up in "the big house" because all her friends had moved into independent or assisted living in that high-rise building.

Less than a month later she had a massive heart attack which led to spending only a few days in one of their "health care" (SNF) rooms before dying.

I don't plan to go to a CCRC...for the (CPI-adjusted) money they paid I can buy LTC insurance for the both of us that covers home health care.

 

[PatrickA5]

My dad lived to 97, living at home by himself the last 12 years. He would tell me he'd never get caught dead in a nursing home. He was close to being right as he only lasted 36 hours in the nursing home after his stroke.

Still, I think he would have been happier being around other people at a CCRC. His last 12 years were very lonely. He never left the house except to go to the store or doctor. I was the only person he saw - maybe once a week to take him someplace. It certainly would have been easier on me if I could have talked him into some kind of assisted living. I was constantly waiting for his next fall (which happened multiple times).

I think DW and I will probably look seriously into a CCRC when we hit 70ish. I really hate for my kids to have to take care of us - just isn't fair to them.

 

[LARS]

Interesting range of comments. Thank you.

I am curious of those that said they plan to run out the clock in place do you have children you can count on to oversee day to day of hiring/policing in-house care?

If not, how do you plan to "manage" the process?

With no children, this seems to be a real issue and a big plus for a "reputable" CCRC…

 

[braumeister]

I am curious of those that said they plan to run out the clock in place do you have children you can count on to oversee day to day of hiring/policing in-house care?

If not, how do you plan to "manage" the process?

With no children, this seems to be a real issue and a big plus for a "reputable" CCRC…

Very good point, and one many of us will have to deal with, whether we plan to or not.
There have been several discussions on this topic here, but not many good answers.

 

[ncbill]

Interesting range of comments. Thank you.

I am curious of those that said they plan to run out the clock in place do you have children you can count on to oversee day to day of hiring/policing in-house care?

If not, how do you plan to "manage" the process?

With no children, this seems to be a real issue and a big plus for a "reputable" CCRC…

For those married it's usually their spouse in that role, not the kids.

And without LTC insurance that spouse also ends up providing most of the care, often to their detriment.

Hence my plan to buy LTC insurance with generous in-home coverage.

 

[Silver]

DH and I are planning to move into a CCRC when we are mid to late 70's. The one we have chosen typically has a 4-6 year waiting list, so we will be timing our move accordingly.

We would love to stay in our home with assistance when needed, but I believe that the future is not optimistic around the availability of quality in-home care. Although there are exceptions, in-home care jobs are not highly sought after by well qualified and well trained health care providers, and supervision of these individuals is marginal at best. We have had members of the community need help, and were unable to find anyone willing to provide consistent availability although they were offering a very generous salary.

Perhaps in the future there will be more resources for in-home care, and it may depend on location. I tend to doubt that it gets much better where we are, so we are planning to move to a CCRC.

 

[pacergal]

Interesting range of comments. Thank you.

I am curious of those that said they plan to run out the clock in place do you have children you can count on to oversee day to day of hiring/policing in-house care?

If not, how do you plan to "manage" the process?

With no children, this seems to be a real issue and a big plus for a "reputable" CCRC…

Yes, part of our plan is for spouse to do what they can, kids live nearby and will help (have already stated so, they also have both told us they would take us in if needed--but that is not our plan). Our money will help pay for in home care.
Plan is flexible. As we age, a CCRC or retirement community with attached assisted living/care center may be something we consider.

 

[aja8888]

Interesting range of comments. Thank you.

I am curious of those that said they plan to run out the clock in place do you have children you can count on to oversee day to day of hiring/policing in-house care?

If not, how do you plan to "manage" the process?

With no children, this seems to be a real issue and a big plus for a "reputable" CCRC…

I'm currently the caretaker for my wife of 76 years old. She is handicapped and has severe COPD, rending her mobility to near zero without stopping within 20 paces and regaining her O2 blood count (even with a 4 liter/min. stream of O2 connected to her). She also is extremely fragile with osteoporosis from too many doses of prednisone (steroid).

But we also have children nearby and they help on occasion. My wife is not willing to go to a "facility". And is long as I can take care of her, we will stay here.

But I'm 78 (but very healthy and active) and who knows what can happen.

It's a crap shoot but we have a plan, but not very detailed.

 

[Jerry1]

Thank you for this discussion. I'm 60 and DW is 65 so we feel it's too early to get serious about a CCRC. We are, however, starting to get serious about what our plans are to age. One of my comments is that if we live in our house with no plan into our 80's, we'll be just like the stereotypical senior that will have no intention of moving out of their home. My dad's 90 and I tried discussing this with him at 80, but he had absolutely no interest. I've told DW, we need to have a plan that we're committed to and that we communicate to everyone so it actually comes to be. Unfortunately, our most serious concern is that dementia runs in DW's family. Her mom is in a care facility right now. Definitely a lot to consider.

As for aging in place, we're in a pretty good house - 1700 sq/ft ranch, but I'm hard pressed to believe that we can be successful with getting the help we need. I see people all the time on Nextdoor that can't get help with yard work and snow removal. I can't imagine that getting indoor and home medical care on my own will be any easier.

Our thinking right now is that we'll probably move into a condo in about 10 years. (70 and 75) and go from there. But, we're very early in the conversation.

 

[harllee]

For those of you even remotely considering a CCRC in the future I suggest you visit some now and get your name on the waiting list for the one you like best even if you do not have a present intention to move into a CCRC. The waiting list deposit is normally small (my deposit was $1000). In my area there are 4 CCRCs and all have waiting lists of about 10 years. Getting on the waiting list when you are in your 60s will get you some flexibility when you are in your 70s. The worst thing would be to decide in your 70s you want to go into a CCRC and find out its is too late to get on the waiting list.

 

[LARS]

For those of you even remotely considering a CCRC in the future I suggest you visit some now and get your name on the waiting list for the one you like best even if you do not have a present intention to move into a CCRC. The waiting list deposit is normally small (my deposit was $1000). In my area there are 4 CCRCs and all have waiting lists of about 10 years. Getting on the waiting list when you are in your 60s will get you some flexibility when you are in your 70s. The worst thing would be to decide in your 70s you want to go into a CCRC and find out its is too late to get on the waiting list.

Well that is a cold bucket of water… but no doubt good advice.

 

[Walt34]

Well that is a cold bucket of water… but no doubt good advice.

That was our experience too when looking for a place for FIL. Years-long waiting lists are the norm, not the exception. We were very lucky because a sought-after place had just opened a new 10-story building that wiped out their waiting list and they only had about three openings left. Those were gone within a week.

The apartment FIL was going to have was one floor higher than the building's backup generator, looking over it, and I initially commented that would be very noisy during the weekly test run, and of course during any outages. DW then reminded me of FIL's hearing loss - all he needed to do was remove his hearing aids and the "problem" was solved.

 

[Elite59]

I assume you are talking about some kind of retirement home or convalescent hospital? What exactly do the initials CCRC stand for?

 

[LARS]

I assume you are talking about some kind of retirement home or convalescent hospital? What exact does the initials CCRC stand for?

CCRC…. Continuing Care Retirement Communities.

AARP overview:

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2017/continuing-care-retirement-communities.html

 

[Gearhead Jim]

We had friends in Florida who looked into and eventually moved into Shell Point, a CCRC near Ft Myers. We went to two of the presentations, one for anyone and one for just our friends. This was about 8-10 years ago.
It looked very good, if you like being around old people.
It was run by a church-affiliated non-profit and did not allow any alcohol in the dining rooms or public areas, only inside your unit. That was only a minor issue for us.
The cost varied with different units and other options, but seemed astronomically high for what you got. We have long term care insurance and they gave us some reduction for that, but not a lot. We took a pass on that.

An unmarried acquaintance of ours was in the real estate business for many years and worked with several CCRCs. He thinks he should be getting into one at about his age (70s), bur instead just moved from a small house into a condo. Hmmm...

 

[harllee]

We had friends in Florida who looked into and eventually moved into Shell Point, a CCRC near Ft Myers. We went to two of the presentations, one for anyone and one for just our friends. This was about 8-10 years ago.
It looked very good, if you like being around old people.
It was run by a church-affiliated non-profit and did not allow any alcohol in the dining rooms or public areas, only inside your unit. That was only a minor issue for us.
The cost varied with different units and other options, but seemed astronomically high for what you got. We have long term care insurance and they gave us some reduction for that, but not a lot. We took a pass on that.

An unmarried acquaintance of ours was in the real estate business for many years and worked with several CCRCs. He thinks he should be getting into one at about his age (70s), bur instead just moved from a small house into a condo. Hmmm...

Interesting about the no alcohol rule. The CCRC where we plan to move is a nonprofit but not owned by a Church and alcohol is allowed and served in the dining rooms (they have 4) , in fact they have cocktail hour every Friday. My mom lives in a church owned CCRC and alcohol is served there too. Regarding the quip about "old people", we all will be "old people" if we live long enough! Most old people I know are very interesting to be around.

 

[LARS]

Regarding the quip about "old people", we all will be "old people" if we live long enough! Most old people I know are very interesting to be around.

Notwithstanding what you say is absolutely true, I cannot help think of Groucho Marx in this regard… (to wit: any club that would have me I wouldn’t want to join so to speak).

 

[aja8888]

Regarding the quip about "old people", we all will be "old people" if we live long enough! Most old people I know are very interesting to be around.

I went to a neighbor's 70th birthday party yesterday afternoon about 3:00 PM. His wife threw the party (surprise one) for him as he just got back from a week long dirt biking trip in the mountains of Utah with his biking club. There's still a lot of older people having fun these days and not heading into a CRCC until someone forces them into it, or a medical condition makes it necessary.

Now my golfing partner that suffered a stroke two weeks ago at the age of 86 is headed into an assisted living facility next week, but he wouldn't be going otherwise.

 

[harllee]

I went to a neighbor's 70th birthday party yesterday afternoon about 3:00 PM. His wife threw the party (surprise one) for him as he just got back from a week long dirt biking trip in the mountains of Utah with his biking club. There's still a lot of older people having fun these days and not heading into a CRCC until someone forces them into it, or a medical condition makes it necessary.

Now my golfing partner that suffered a stroke two weeks ago at the age of 86 is headed into an assisted living facility next week, but he wouldn't be going otherwise.

Many of my 70 something friends who live in CCRCs are still very active--I don't know about dirt biking but they have golf outings, ski outings, hiking, dancing, a running club, traveling, etc. The fact that you move into a CCRC does not mean you quit having fun. In fact one of the things we are looking forward to in moving into a CCRC is being able to do all the activities and trips.