divorce affecting FIRE plans

[Amethyst]

I didn't keep in touch with my first husband, but about 25 years after we divorced, collection agencies were calling my home asking if I knew where to find him. Apparently, he hadn't been making his mortgage payments.

 

[Chuckanut]

Wow, never heard of that. My second wife's income never became an issue although I seem to recall they tried.

I think it varies by state. And this was over 25 years ago, so the laws may have changed.

 

[NYEXPAT]

My Divorce would read like a 2 1/2 men sitcom episode that stretched on for four years. Won't bore everyone with the details but here are some highlights.

Wife files for divorce and sues myself and my mistress (served papers at JFK terminal) upon return from worldwind trip across Europe.

My personal attorney (Father of my now 23 y/o mistress) is not allowed to represent me (conflict of interest). New Attorney retained until we can have mistress removed from lawsuit.

Personal Attorney back in charge until I break up with mistress.

Mistress becomes friends with my EX and agrees to testify that her father and I transferred my assets to the Caymen Islands.

Judge, throws my personal attorney off the case for conflict of interest.

Net result 40/40/20 split.

 

[Pilot2013]

My Divorce would read like a 2 1/2 men sitcom episode that stretched on for four years. Won't bore everyone with the details but here are some highlights.

Wife files for divorce and sues myself and my mistress (served papers at JFK terminal) upon return from worldwind trip across Europe.

My personal attorney (Father of my now 23 y/o mistress) is not allowed to represent me (conflict of interest). New Attorney retained until we can have mistress removed from lawsuit.

Personal Attorney back in charge until I break up with mistress.

Mistress becomes friends with my EX and agrees to testify that her father and I transferred my assets to the Caymen Islands.

Judge, throws my personal attorney off the case for conflict of interest.

Net result 40/40/20 split.

Meh, seems like it worked pretty much like it should have...

 

[FANOFJESUS]

My Divorce would read like a 2 1/2 men sitcom episode that stretched on for four years. Won't bore everyone with the details but here are some highlights.

Wife files for divorce and sues myself and my mistress (served papers at JFK terminal) upon return from worldwind trip across Europe.

My personal attorney (Father of my now 23 y/o mistress) is not allowed to represent me (conflict of interest). New Attorney retained until we can have mistress removed from lawsuit.

Personal Attorney back in charge until I break up with mistress.

Mistress becomes friends with my EX and agrees to testify that her father and I transferred my assets to the Caymen Islands.

Judge, throws my personal attorney off the case for conflict of interest.

Net result 40/40/20 split.

So I guess that saying of 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 was not to far off.

 

[dasranger]

In Illinois, you marry, and you get divorced, it doesn't matter if you have worked at McDonalds all your life and your wife worked downtown Chicago, you are the father of those children and you will pay as if you worked downtown. It's the law.

 

[martyp]

I have legal insurance. Anyone ever think of that?

 

[Souschef]

From 2015 - my post #96


(Been divorced once, widowed once, and am now happily married in the best relationship I've ever had.)

Funny, that happened to me too. Divorced my first wife, lost my second after 30 years of marriage, and now 10 years into my last marriage. Life is good again

 

[Nemo2]

Funny, that happened to me too. Divorced my first wife, lost my second after 30 years of marriage, and now 10 years into my last marriage. Life is good again

I met DW online in 2003, kept in touch by e-mail, met in person a couple months after making first contact, (she was about 250 miles away) just before I headed south for the winter......I was, by default, still in the throes of full time RVing, (something my late wife had wanted to do, and all I had for accommodation was the truck & 5th wheel).......she flew down to visit me in Texas a few months later...and when I left there I headed straight up to Ottawa, (where she had relocated for work), and we've been together ever since. Life IS good.

 

[Moemg]

I plan to be reincarnated as an exwife of yours (I promise to be the best exwife ever)

No chose me . I am a great ex wife and I have ex wife experience !

 

[Moemg]

I know tons of women who got divorced and I only know one who got alimony and that was temporary . I think announcing that would limit the men you could attract and they might be leeches .

 

[2017ish]

I have legal insurance. Anyone ever think of that?

Generally speaking (and I'm sure that there are exceptions), the caliber of legal talent/diligence available through legal insurance plans is less than I'd be comfortable with in any matter of significance.

 

[athena53]

Generally speaking (and I'm sure that there are exceptions), the caliber of legal talent/diligence available through legal insurance plans is less than I'd be comfortable with in any matter of significance.

I'm also guessing that there are limits on what they'll do within the coverage provided. My divorce took a long time because my husband was really un- co-operative (I think his attorney was decent but was stuck with a problem client). Lots of phone calls, fighting off a request for temporary alimony (my attorney knew that could lead to lifetime alimony), etc. Husband was unemployed last 5 years of the marriage. At one point in the proceedings I took out a $15K HELOC as an advance on husband's share of the equity in the home and of course that had to be carefully written up so it wouldn't be misconstrued later.

I can't imagine all that, which went on for months, being covered by legal insurance. It sure won't cover alimony or child support if those become part of the agreement.

 

[Danmar]

No chose me . I am a great ex wife and I have ex wife experience !

 

[Danmar]

I know tons of women who got divorced and I only know one who got alimony and that was temporary . I think announcing that would limit the men you could attract and they might be leeches .

I can see that. My ex lives with a guy who hasn't worked for years. In my opinion it still wouldn't be worth the pain and suffering in order to "leech" off her.

 

[ivinsfan]

My Divorce would read like a 2 1/2 men sitcom episode that stretched on for four years. Won't bore everyone with the details but here are some highlights.

Wife files for divorce and sues myself and my mistress (served papers at JFK terminal) upon return from worldwind trip across Europe.

My personal attorney (Father of my now 23 y/o mistress) is not allowed to represent me (conflict of interest). New Attorney retained until we can have mistress removed from lawsuit.

Personal Attorney back in charge until I break up with mistress.

Mistress becomes friends with my EX and agrees to testify that her father and I transferred my assets to the Caymen Islands.

Judge, throws my personal attorney off the case for conflict of interest.

Net result 40/40/20 split.

I can't tell if you are bragging or complaining...

 

[Olbidness]

Went though my divorce many years ago. The money damage can be overcome with enough resources and time, the emotional damage can be more long lasting.

Divorce was ongoing, sitting in church with my then 5 year old son. I always gave him some money to put in the offering plate to help him develop good habits. The offering plate comes around and he whispers to me "can I keep this money to give to mom. She doesn't have much."

Still chokes me up.

 

[NYEXPAT]

I can't tell if you are bragging or complaining...

No complaints here, my friend!

 

[haha]

Went though my divorce many years ago. The money damage can be overcome with enough resources and time, the emotional damage can be more long lasting.

Divorce was ongoing, sitting in church with my then 5 year old son. I always gave him some money to put in the offering plate to help him develop good habits. The offering plate comes around and he whispers to me "can I keep this money to give to mom. She doesn't have much."

Still chokes me up.

Very moving event. I am sure it clobbered you.

I agree with you. You love someone very much then she gets ripped away from you, leaving all kinds of damage to people you love. Most of your children and both partners. Very hard to deal with.

Ha

 

[RunningBum]

In Illinois, you marry, and you get divorced, it doesn't matter if you have worked at McDonalds all your life and your wife worked downtown Chicago, you are the father of those children and you will pay as if you worked downtown. It's the law.

That doesn't sound like it could possibly be right.
From Child Support Information

Child Support Guidelines
In determining a dollar amount for child support, Illinois courts are required to follow the minimum guidelines set forth by statute. In rare circumstances, the court can deviate from the child support guidelines. The current guidelines for child support are as follows:

NUMBER OF CHILDREN​

Percent of Payor’s Net Income​

1​

20%​

2​

28%​

3​

32%​

4​

40%​

5​

45%​

6 or more​

50%​

 

[kgtest]

they are substantially protected in terms of not having to share our assets with DIL. This was easy to do in the case that they divorce while we are still alive. A bit more complicated if they divorce after our deaths.

I would be interested to know how you executed this additional layer of In-Law protection.

 

[Danmar]

The offering plate comes around and he whispers to me "can I keep this money to give to mom. She doesn't have much."

Still chokes me up.

Great story. I had similar experiences. This is why I didn't fight the financial aspects too hard. Might win the battle but lose the war, ie the relationship with your kids. I really wanted the ex to come out of it in pretty good shape. Was a difficult "tightrope" to walk.

 

[kgtest]

he whispers to me "can I keep this money to give to mom. She doesn't have much."

Still chokes me up.

You guys raised him right even if y'all split.

 

[kcowan]

I have always thought that managing my way through this emotional morass was the most difficult yet important thing I have ever done.

First wife worked in a stealth mode during and after our marriage. When I was free of her, I could not believe how simple the world could work. Freedom and communication at last! No recriminations and silent periods! Pure joy!

 

[kcowan]

Great story. I had similar experiences. This is why I didn't fight the financial aspects too hard. Might win the battle but lose the war, ie the relationship with your kids. I really wanted the ex to come out of it in pretty good shape. Was a difficult "tightrope" to walk.

Yes right! Half the house, half my pension, alimony for 10 years plus half our assets (except for her inheritance that she got 100%). I gently told my sons about it over several years. They eventually "got" it.