Do you get called “honey” or “sweetie” by strangers?

[ShokWaveRider]

In regards to classifying LGBT types as so obvious, they are some of the nicest and respectful people I know in Florida. Also a number of the couples are multi millionaires (DINKs). Double income no kids.

Agreed, no disrespect was intended by my comment, purely that I respect their choices and would not want to offend them. But I do find it easy to distinguish them from others, for the most part anyway. Saying that, I do refer to an LGBT good friend of mine as Sweetheart, she does not mind (I asked once). But I would not do so to someone I do not know who is that way inclined.

 

[Midpack]

Agreed, no disrespect was intended by my comment, purely that I respect their choices and would not want to offend them. But I do find it easy to distinguish them from others, for the most part anyway. Saying that, I do refer to an LGBT good friend of mine as Sweetheart, she does not mind (I asked once). But I would not do so to someone I do not know who is that way inclined.

I’m sure you mean no harm, but how could you know that? I’d suggest you can’t...just as you can’t distinguish a millionaire by looking at them (there was a book...).

It would be easy to disprove your assumption, but think about it...

 

[Jerry1]

I always assumed “honey” was waitress for “@$$hole”. They say it with a smile on their face, but they had to come up with something given all the things they have to endure.

 

[Dtail]

It happens more in the South than anywhere. I have no issue with this and it’s not age related as I think there’s a resurgence of this kind of talk especially in restaurants.

Yep that's true in FLA restaurants by elder female servers.

 

[W2R]

Why on earth this bothers anyone...

+1

Seriously, when thrown into any sort of radically different environment they must be just as much fun as a barrel of monkeys. I'd urge anyone who is seriously bothered by this (and not just feeling a little nostalgic), to go out and fully experience what the world has to offer.

 

[Dtail]

Now at 60 the waitresses have stopped calling me Mr. Beefcake and started with the StudMuffin.
Very disconcerting....

That cold up North is getting to you.....

 

[braumeister]

You only have to be concerned when people (especially in the South) also tack on "bless your heart."

 

[nhcycling]

I’m sure you mean no harm, but how could you know that? I’d suggest you can’t...just as you can’t distinguish a millionaire by looking at them (there was a book...).

+1 I’d also suggest that you can’t ... people are people

 

[Nick12]

I always assumed “honey” was waitress for “@$$hole”. They say it with a smile on their face, but they had to come up with something given all the things they have to endure.

Just like when the frustrated or teed off guest services employee says to the customer “ Have a nice day”

 

[ShokWaveRider]

I honestly get more annoyed at being told to have a "Blessed" day, also common in the south, I just ignore it for the sake of decency. That is way worse (to me and my DW) than a term of endearment.

 

[Choices]

Darlin’ , I have spent most of my life in the South so I am used to it and it does not bother me nor does having anyone hold the door for me.
Saying “ no ma’am/sir” etc is just good manners, IMHO. As my son said, “ it’s just how I was raised”.

 

[MRG]

A local waitress calls me hola. I call her that back.[emoji23]

 

[Ed B]

This is pretty common in Texas and doesn't offend me at all. It is kind of pleasant and endearing to my ear. There have been a couple of ladies, one at a donut shop and the other at megacorp cafeteria, that used it to excess in a given conversation. That came off as strange only because they were interjecting it excessively and at times where it didn't flow naturally.

We are also seeing more instances of using "Mr." or "Ms." in front of the first name of someone we know, outside professional work settings, but truly respect for one reason or another (e.g. Mr. John, or Ms. Linda) 20 years ago I mostly heard this in Louisiana, Mississippi, or deep Southest Texas but it is used mich more within my circles these days a little West of Fort Worth.

 

[aja8888]

I'm 75, in Texas, and don't look much over early to mid 60's.

Female waitresses usually call me "honey" or "darlin" and the male ones usually call me "sir". I guess this is good. I'm not hot enough to get any phone numbers from the female waitresses so whatever they call me it's just for fun. I'm sure many of them think I could be their grandfather anyway.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

A local waitress calls me hola. I call her that back.[emoji23]

I think she's saying "hello" to you...hola is Spanish for hello.

If you want some responses to her (in Spanish) to make her laugh let me know.

 

[Aerides]

I'd urge anyone who is seriously bothered by this (and not just feeling a little nostalgic), to go out and fully experience what the world has to offer.

Being bothered is often just programming. It's just a gut reaction "do not like".
It's how you process that feeling, and whether or not you act on it, that's important.

If you are bothered and storm out in a huff - yes you might have some work to do on yourself.

If you are bothered for a moment but don't act on it, and recognize it's probably because that's how your parents would have acted or something like that, and that your feeling is just your gut and not necessarily right, then all is good,

 

[calmloki]

Waitress calls me sweetie and my tail starts wagging and I flop on my side for belly rubs. If I've had a crap day a simple salutation like sweetie or darlin' helps a bunch. Oddly, when I urge my gal to walk just a few more blocks uphill - come on sweetie - she often responds with a digital salute. Friends and long time w*rk contacts get Mr or Miss first name from me fairly often.

 

[CDRE]

You only have to be concerned when people (especially in the South) also tack on "bless your heart."

+1
And you better be really concerned if they book end both sides of their statement with "bless your heart" or more importantly "bless your little heart"

 

[Jerry1]

My understanding is that being special isn’t necessarily a good thing either. As in Bless your heart, you’re so special - honey.

Personally, I love it when Penny calls Sheldon sweetie.

 

[tmm99]

Recently DH and I have been called various terms of endearment by waiters, waitresses, or retail workers. We are 58 and 59 and while we don’t look 40, neither of us looks a lot older than our ages. It feels like all of the sudden, people are treating us like we’re their grandparents, and it bugs me. It feels very patronizing.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you handle it? So far I’ve ignored it except for at one restaurant where we are regulars and know the manager. I would love some suggestions on a witty response that wouldn’t be too rude but would get the point across.

It made me laugh when I read your post. The answer is YES! They call me *names* more often now! Old servers used to do that to me when I was much younger, and now, much younger servers. Maybe it doesn't work like this in the south, I'm in Ontario, Canada, and I've noticed this. I just thought it was part of getting old, like when you hit your 30's (or 40's??), people start calling you ma'am. So I do nothing. I don't feel good or bad about it. When I was asked for my AARP card at a Best Western when I was still young (The guy looked about 20 years old), that hurt and I gave him a hard time about it. This doesn't feel anything like that.

 

[Friendish Friends]

It feels like all of the sudden, people are treating us like we’re their grandparents, and it bugs me. It feels very patronizing.

I'm in my 40s, so haven't experienced this yet, but watched it happen to my grandmother. The older she got, the more people treated her like a puppy or a toddler instead of the bright, opinionated woman she was.

This is entirely different than the 'honey' or 'love' that can apply to anyone. Those I really enjoy. A friend works in an assisted living home and she's posted quite a bit about studies showing it's bad for mental health to be talked down to like this.

Sadly, I don't have any suggestions on how to handle the situation but will be reading along.

 

[MRG]

I think she's saying "hello" to you...hola is Spanish for hello.

If you want some responses to her (in Spanish) to make her laugh let me know.

She is. She's a lovely lady, whose first language was Spanish. She is challenging for me to understand, her English is pretty good, but she's soft spoken. Add in a little accent, I really have to listen very closely.

Any responses are appreciated.

 

[Amethyst]

She could be from Baltimore. Everyone is "hon" there.

I'm meeting with a contractor later today, and both times that I've talked to his receptionist on the phone she's called me "hon". It's a little jarring. She doesn't have a southern accent, and it's not common around here, so I assume she just picked up the habit somewhere and does it to everyone.

 

[Nemo2]

Any responses are appreciated.

 

[Amethyst]

Sometimes, older African American ladies call me "my dear" and I absolutely love it. They make it sound as if I really am dear to them.