Wow, great replies. Thanks. Looks like I'm not alone with this "adjustment problem".
For an update, I told my wife (who is working part time if I forgot to mention that) that I had a little freak-out the other day, and she made the comment that maybe part of the reason was because now SHE is working and I'm not. I think that is part of my "problem"-- I've gone from the center of attention (in my mind--lol) to a kind of "support" position cooking and cleaning and doing laundry and it just hit me wrong that day. When we discussed ER over the years the plan was never for one of us to work, but because my retirement was a little bit forced by the economy I panicked and pushed her into getting this part time librarian job, which could now lead to a full time job next year because the school really loves her. She likes the part time job, but the prospect of full time is not very exciting for either of us. The reasoning on the job was to help with expenses while we downsized to a more manageable house and budget. However, if she goes full time we really will not be ERed, but instead will have just flip-flopped our duties. I want her to put the full time job deal on hold so we can either try this Costa Rica adventure or just try to enjoy things a little and do nothing for right now. We are at a 3% withdrawl rate right now with her part time gig and with our "big" fixed expenses, and that's not living high on the hog at all as far as entertainment and food and stuff. I'm not really comfortable with the 3% rate for some reason, but maybe I should just chill and see what happens. Does that 3% sound too high to yall? We are in our early 40s btw, two kids 9 and 11. And from Texas. Hence the "yall".
No one has talked about the "widow's rule", that is, after a major event (death), take at least one year and DO NOTHING. Don't sell or buy anything, just wait until life is a little slower in order to make prudent decisions. (Unfortunately, I learned this from my mom.)
I like this idea. I think we are jumping to quickly into things (like her job). I'm used to moving fast and making lots of decisioins every day, and I've got to try to control that.
If all else fails have your wife write a list of things she wants done . I've saved my SO from boredom this way . He loves the endless trips to Lowe's and I love the finished projects
That's a good idea, maybe. In fact she asked me to take the sheets off the beds the other day and wash them while she was headed off to work. That may be what started my panic attack.
How about preparing yourself for the move to Costa Rica by learning skills that would be useful in that environment.
For starters how is your Spanish? If not fluent, maybe now is the time to start learning.
Also you mention going into the real estate business in that part of the world. Is it worth taking some time to study as to how that business works in Costa Rica?
I think it is important to work on the skills you need to make your new life successful to avoid being dragged back into the life you have been living. Think of Costa Rica as a new chapter and ask yourself what you will need to make that life a success and go from there.
Excellent idea. I actually bought the Rosetta Stone program before I closed the business but have used in only a few times for some reason. This is why I love this forum. I need to be slapped around every once and awhile. I have now made an "everyday" to do list, and practice my Spanish is on it. Cool. Bueno.
I would exercise caution. While it sounds exciting to pursue new opportunities, you could make some poor business decisions just to have "something to do".......
Maybe you could go back to school or something and learn a new career, or just audit some courses.
I really don't want to start another business, I just didn't know what to do with myself there for awhile so I started thinking about doing something again. I hated almost all aspects of running my business the last couple of years, except for making and saving the money. When the money quit flowing it made my decision to get out pretty easy.
You planned for ER, you succeeded where many have failed, and now you can't figure out how to be responsible for your own entertainment? Did you not see this coming?!?
Now that you have control over most of your time and your focus, you think you should devote it to recreating the environment you just left?!?!!
You've proven that you can tackle business challenges and make them work. You would think that further effort in that direction would result in hollow victories.
Perhaps you owe it to yourself to devote as much time to living your ER as you did to planning for it. An excellent starting point is Ernie Zelinski's "Get-A-Life Tree" in his "How To Retire Happy, Wild, & Free" book. I can fax you my copy-- it's still blank. It's been sitting around on my desk for several years until I take the time to get to it.
As for moving to a little surfing village in Costa Rica-- you surf, right? You can perhaps understand why I'm having a hard time seeing the problem.
Good advice (slap). I needed that. It's crazy-- after all the living cheap and saving for ER over the past 15 years now that we are here I don't know what to do with myself. I now realize that I spent most of my time on the money aspect of ER, but not much actual planning on what we would do once it happened (other than this CR deal, which will probably only be for a year because of the kids and the schools). I'm a goal guy, and a planner, and without a conrete plan I'm a little lost, so how stupid was it to not plan what we were goinig to actually do once I ERed? Don't answer that.
