Helicopter parenting

[MichaelB]

The vast majority of schools around the world remain the domain of the educators. In America it's mostly bored affluent parents that are so involved. I believe it's lack of respect, discipline and respinsibility that cause schools to fail.

Schools fail for many reasons, everywhere in the world. My limited personal experience with those that succeed points to a hard working partnership that includes educators, students and parents, both at school and at home. Affluence helps but is not a critical success factor.

 

[FinanceDude]

More so than civilian parents. Military folks had more of a tendency to follow chain of command and didn't overreact as much. I had no problem with a parent who thinks there is a problem coming in to talk to me.....that's what should happen. Then if they don't get the answer/result they want.....then go to the Principal....then above that level. I saw all too many times with civilian parents (with lots of different teachers).....they would just go straight to the Superintendent without even bothering with the "lower" level people.....they had a complaint and they went to the biggest person they could find instead of trying to solve problems in the easiest method first. The biggest complainers and most obnoxious adults on any base I was on were the civilians....that comes from the people who were a LOT more knowledgeable about what goes on around the base . Being a teacher I was kind of a hermit.....the school becomes your own little world and I didn't really see all that many people outside the school. The last 7 years I worked on a base that we had to share the military gym (teaching PE/coaching). Gym staffed by local UK (non military) folks.....they always complained about the civilians being such a pain to work with.

I can see that. Of course, as a child of TWO public school teachers, you KNOW how they felt. When I got into trouble at school, after awhile they didn't even send me to the principal's office, they just called my mom at the school she was at and let her know what was going on. Case solved.........

I let my son's teachers know about my parents background and that I am a supporter of the teachers. They not only appreciate that but have gone out of their way to help my sons when then are issues. Like my mom always said: "Teachers care as much about your kid as the parents do"...........a lot of truth in that.........

 

[FUEGO]

So true. I remember getting caught with some Colt 45 when then we were teenagers. We bought Colt 45 because it had a high alcohol content.

The cop confiscated the Colt 45, chastised us for drinking such shitty beer and let us go.

That right there is the problem. It's disgusting and shameful! If you would only have had helicopter parents from this generation, they could have instructed you in the art of fancy beer drinking. You could have been caught with some fancy microbrew that the proletariat cop hasn't even heard of. You possibly could have persuaded the officer that it was merely soda pop.

 

[Bestwifeever]

That right there is the problem. It's disgusting and shameful! If you would only have had helicopter parents from this generation, they could have instructed you in the art of fancy beer drinking. You could have been caught with some fancy microbrew that the proletariat cop hasn't even heard of. You possibly could have persuaded the officer that it was merely soda pop.

And they could have brought that "craft beer" in their helicopters!

 

[HFWR]

That right there is the problem. It's disgusting and shameful! If you would only have had helicopter parents from this generation, they could have instructed you in the art of fancy beer drinking. You could have been caught with some fancy microbrew that the proletariat cop hasn't even heard of. You possibly could have persuaded the officer that it was merely soda pop.

Circa 1970, the only microbrew any of us had ever heard of was "shine", though I guess that's technically a micro-distilled...

 

[rodi]

I guess I fall somewhere in between helicopter parent and letting consequences fly. I've got a 10 year old and 12 year old.

- I'm a big believer in giving kids life skills (cooking, laundry, etc)... so the boys are responsible for some meal prep, clean up, etc. I believe in modified natural consequences (I remind them in the evening to make sure their backpacks are loaded up - but don't check them to make sure the assignments/permission slips/etc are in there). If they forget something - it's their problem to work out.

- I have been a bit aggressive about their schooling. When my older son was bored out of his mind and had crappy grades - I was emailing the teacher regularly about why he was failing, despite getting perfect scores on the benchmarks and standardized tests. I didn't ask her to change the grade - but she became aware that I felt the problem didn't lie entirely with my son... if she can't provide differentiation to bright, but bored students, she's not doing her job. I didn't try to make excuses for my son, just asked a lot of pointed questions about how she determined the grades. Turns out he was getting all the right answers on the tests - but doing the math problems in his own methods, not the method she was teaching. And he never learned the preferred method since he pre-tested out of the modules and had entirely different homework. I disagreed with this - but let the grades stand... and made a decision to get him OUT of that school environment. I worked to get my kids transferred to a program better able to handle exceptional bright kids (Yes - we're from Lake Wobegon, lol). He's now being given math and writing work that is several years ahead of his grade level, and thriving. So some helicopter parenting got him to a good school program that matched his abilities.

- Now we're entering middle school, and I did research and found a program that seems appropriate for my boys. (international baccalaureate program) He's horrified that I'm sending him to a school that none of his friends are going to. But I feel it is the best fit for him. So I guess that makes me a bit helicopter-esque. But I'm not trying to modify the teachers or schools - just aggressively pushing to get him in the right school/program for him. It's up to him to fail or thrive.

 

[grasshopper]

Circa 1970, the only microbrew any of us had ever heard of was "shine", though I guess that's technically a micro-distilled...

Or you tried a little wacko tobacco, and the peace officer wants to know where you got the beer.

 

[Texas Proud]

I guess I fall somewhere in between helicopter parent and letting consequences fly. I've got a 10 year old and 12 year old.

- I'm a big believer in giving kids life skills (cooking, laundry, etc)... so the boys are responsible for some meal prep, clean up, etc. I believe in modified natural consequences (I remind them in the evening to make sure their backpacks are loaded up - but don't check them to make sure the assignments/permission slips/etc are in there). If they forget something - it's their problem to work out.

- I have been a bit aggressive about their schooling. When my older son was bored out of his mind and had crappy grades - I was emailing the teacher regularly about why he was failing, despite getting perfect scores on the benchmarks and standardized tests. I didn't ask her to change the grade - but she became aware that I felt the problem didn't lie entirely with my son... if she can't provide differentiation to bright, but bored students, she's not doing her job. I didn't try to make excuses for my son, just asked a lot of pointed questions about how she determined the grades. Turns out he was getting all the right answers on the tests - but doing the math problems in his own methods, not the method she was teaching. And he never learned the preferred method since he pre-tested out of the modules and had entirely different homework. I disagreed with this - but let the grades stand... and made a decision to get him OUT of that school environment. I worked to get my kids transferred to a program better able to handle exceptional bright kids (Yes - we're from Lake Wobegon, lol). He's now being given math and writing work that is several years ahead of his grade level, and thriving. So some helicopter parenting got him to a good school program that matched his abilities.

- Now we're entering middle school, and I did research and found a program that seems appropriate for my boys. (international baccalaureate program) He's horrified that I'm sending him to a school that none of his friends are going to. But I feel it is the best fit for him. So I guess that makes me a bit helicopter-esque. But I'm not trying to modify the teachers or schools - just aggressively pushing to get him in the right school/program for him. It's up to him to fail or thrive.

LOL, this reminded me when I was in school... we would have a math test and I did all the work in my head and just wrote down the answer... I was correct almost all the time... the teacher would give me bad grades and say 'you need to show your work'.... I said 'I can't, I did it in my head'... never did get it resolved...

 

[Bestwifeever]

I think math is unusual in that skills build on what you've already learned. I can understand that being able to intuitively solve problems at one stage might also need to be accompanied by demonstrating your ability to solve them "traditionally" so that you will be able to understand the next level. DS also solved things intuitively in high school and his math teachers often told us that if he would spend as much time showing his work as he did after the test arguing that he didn't need to show his work, they would all have been better off. Later on both his math and his arguing skills paid off for him .

Lucky kids whose parents know what it best for them and take care of it.

We stopped checking whether our kids had done their homework (never mind checking it ourselves to be sure it was right) or had everything they needed for the next day at school when they were in about fourth grade. One of our children is so hard on herself that we would gladly have delivered any missing things to her every day (although she never needed us to) rather than have her beat herself up for forgetting them. The other one (the intuitive math solver) seems to be very carefree but we were always surprised when his teachers told us he never ever missed turning in homework. He explained to them that if he didn't, he knew his mother would kill him.

 

[ShortInSeattle]

I guess I fall somewhere in between helicopter parent and letting consequences fly. I've got a 10 year old and 12 year old.

- I'm a big believer in giving kids life skills (cooking, laundry, etc)... so the boys are responsible for some meal prep, clean up, etc. I believe in modified natural consequences (I remind them in the evening to make sure their backpacks are loaded up - but don't check them to make sure the assignments/permission slips/etc are in there). If they forget something - it's their problem to work out.

- I have been a bit aggressive about their schooling. When my older son was bored out of his mind and had crappy grades - I was emailing the teacher regularly about why he was failing, despite getting perfect scores on the benchmarks and standardized tests. I didn't ask her to change the grade - but she became aware that I felt the problem didn't lie entirely with my son... if she can't provide differentiation to bright, but bored students, she's not doing her job. I didn't try to make excuses for my son, just asked a lot of pointed questions about how she determined the grades. Turns out he was getting all the right answers on the tests - but doing the math problems in his own methods, not the method she was teaching. And he never learned the preferred method since he pre-tested out of the modules and had entirely different homework. I disagreed with this - but let the grades stand... and made a decision to get him OUT of that school environment. I worked to get my kids transferred to a program better able to handle exceptional bright kids (Yes - we're from Lake Wobegon, lol). He's now being given math and writing work that is several years ahead of his grade level, and thriving. So some helicopter parenting got him to a good school program that matched his abilities.

- Now we're entering middle school, and I did research and found a program that seems appropriate for my boys. (international baccalaureate program) He's horrified that I'm sending him to a school that none of his friends are going to. But I feel it is the best fit for him. So I guess that makes me a bit helicopter-esque. But I'm not trying to modify the teachers or schools - just aggressively pushing to get him in the right school/program for him. It's up to him to fail or thrive.

I wouldn't call that helicopter parenting, just engaged parenting. Good for you!

 

[travelover]

DW is a 4th grade teacher. I'm surprised at how much things have changed since I was a kid, particularly with respect to the integration of kids with special needs into the classroom. I'm sure it is better for those kids with special needs, but it really takes a toll on the time she has for the rest of the kids, particularly the brighter kids. DW gets to class a couple of hours early, tutors one particularly challenged girl, stays a couple hours after class is out to prepare for the next day, then comes home and corrects papers and answers parents' emails (including the helicopters). Rinse and repeat. Not a job I'd want.

 

[youbet]

+1

It is so easy to be critical of parents and schools. Show me a school where parents are not involved and I'll show you classrooms full of failing students. Parents can be involved and their children can still learn to responsible.

+1 I think you hit the nail on the head here Michael. (OMG, another agreement! )

I muddled through the Chicago Public School system from K through HS. My folks, similar to most of the parents, were not very involved. There were few role models on which to base success. Our teachers were more concerned over the safety of their cars in the parking lot (with good reason) than in successfully delivering cirriculum. It wasn't a pretty picture.

I think the author of the article OP posted is writing about extreme situations. (Gee, a journalist reaching out to the fringes to find a topic to suck in readers and compensation!) I'd rather see parents more involved, on average, than less.

 

[F4mandolin]

I guess I fall somewhere in between helicopter parent and letting consequences fly. I've got a 10 year old and 12 year old.

- I'm a big believer in giving kids life skills (cooking, laundry, etc)... so the boys are responsible for some meal prep, clean up, etc. I believe in modified natural consequences (I remind them in the evening to make sure their backpacks are loaded up - but don't check them to make sure the assignments/permission slips/etc are in there). If they forget something - it's their problem to work out.

- I have been a bit aggressive about their schooling. When my older son was bored out of his mind and had crappy grades - I was emailing the teacher regularly about why he was failing, despite getting perfect scores on the benchmarks and standardized tests. I didn't ask her to change the grade - but she became aware that I felt the problem didn't lie entirely with my son... if she can't provide differentiation to bright, but bored students, she's not doing her job. I didn't try to make excuses for my son, just asked a lot of pointed questions about how she determined the grades. Turns out he was getting all the right answers on the tests - but doing the math problems in his own methods, not the method she was teaching. And he never learned the preferred method since he pre-tested out of the modules and had entirely different homework. I disagreed with this - but let the grades stand... and made a decision to get him OUT of that school environment. I worked to get my kids transferred to a program better able to handle exceptional bright kids (Yes - we're from Lake Wobegon, lol). He's now being given math and writing work that is several years ahead of his grade level, and thriving. So some helicopter parenting got him to a good school program that matched his abilities.

- Now we're entering middle school, and I did research and found a program that seems appropriate for my boys. (international baccalaureate program) He's horrified that I'm sending him to a school that none of his friends are going to. But I feel it is the best fit for him. So I guess that makes me a bit helicopter-esque. But I'm not trying to modify the teachers or schools - just aggressively pushing to get him in the right school/program for him. It's up to him to fail or thrive.

I would need a little more info before I would declare my verdict...but yep, you seem fit into my definition of Helicopter parent.
1. email teacher? Yes, this is often the best way to get/send info back and forth. For something that was obviously as important as this was to you.....face to face. email is notoriously misinterpreted on people's meanings. Something that could be solved in just a few minutes face to face could take forever (and possibly never) to iron out. If you expect the teacher to take time for you and your kid.....take the time to get in for a face to face.
2. How many students were in the first teachers class compared to what you moved to? If the teacher has 20 or less kids.....then no excuse on the differentiated classwork. If they had 40.....whole different story and the teacher was likely just trying to survive. There is everything inbetween of course.....and the teacher could have just not been very good.
3. Yes, it does sound like you are trying to modify teacher/school behavior.
4. Quite often, part of the Math teachers required teaching methods make them have the kids prove they know how to do the math skills....in writing. Unless something has changed in the last couple of years........ Did you check with the teacher/principal?
5. Could just be a crappy teacher. I have seen plenty.....and I was slowly joining them towards the end of my career and was one of the reasons I took an early retirement. Just didn't have the ooomph like I used to have.

I had some years in the middle of my career where I was teaching 3 different preps, coaching 2-3 sports and was athletic director. All I did was go to school and go home and sleep. I had NO time for anything extra. This teacher "could" have been in the same situation (or not).....sometimes this stuff gets dumped on teachers. I did it willingly for a number of years.....but as I got older, time NOT working became more important

 

[Texas Proud]

DW is a 4th grade teacher. I'm surprised at how much things have changed since I was a kid, particularly with respect to the integration of kids with special needs into the classroom. I'm sure it is better for those kids with special needs, but it really takes a toll on the time she has for the rest of the kids, particularly the brighter kids. DW gets to class a couple of hours early, tutors one particularly challenged girl, stays a couple hours after class is out to prepare for the next day, then comes home and corrects papers and answers parents' emails (including the helicopters). Rinse and repeat. Not a job I'd want.

I am one of the parents that hated the 'mainstreaming' of special needs kids... I am not talking about someone who is a little slow, but real special needs...

My kids get the short end of the teacher's attention because of it... and overall our society suffers...

 

[F4mandolin]

I am one of the parents that hated the 'mainstreaming' of special needs kids... I am not talking about someone who is a little slow, but real special needs...

My kids get the short end of the teacher's attention because of it... and overall our society suffers...

I agree....but if you mentioned anything like this in a faculty meeting you risked death.....I at times had up to 8 SPED students in a class, several that had their own monitors with them, I was the only one who didn't throw a hissy fit....so I got them and damn with the majority. Same with my comments about the push for everybody to go to University....... No plans for anybody who didn't want to go to University.......had to duck the death stares.....

 

[rodi]

I would need a little more info before I would declare my verdict...but yep, you seem fit into my definition of Helicopter parent.
1. email teacher? Yes, this is often the best way to get/send info back and forth. For something that was obviously as important as this was to you.....face to face. email is notoriously misinterpreted on people's meanings. Something that could be solved in just a few minutes face to face could take forever (and possibly never) to iron out. If you expect the teacher to take time for you and your kid.....take the time to get in for a face to face.
2. How many students were in the first teachers class compared to what you moved to? If the teacher has 20 or less kids.....then no excuse on the differentiated classwork. If they had 40.....whole different story and the teacher was likely just trying to survive. There is everything inbetween of course.....and the teacher could have just not been very good.
3. Yes, it does sound like you are trying to modify teacher/school behavior.
4. Quite often, part of the Math teachers required teaching methods make them have the kids prove they know how to do the math skills....in writing. Unless something has changed in the last couple of years........ Did you check with the teacher/principal?
5. Could just be a crappy teacher. I have seen plenty.....and I was slowly joining them towards the end of my career and was one of the reasons I took an early retirement. Just didn't have the ooomph like I used to have.

I had some years in the middle of my career where I was teaching 3 different preps, coaching 2-3 sports and was athletic director. All I did was go to school and go home and sleep. I had NO time for anything extra. This teacher "could" have been in the same situation (or not).....sometimes this stuff gets dumped on teachers. I did it willingly for a number of years.....but as I got older, time NOT working became more important

1) We had several meetings with her (less than productive). We switched to email since that seemed to be her preferred method. I would also talk to her in the morning prior to class, when she didn't seem to stressed/busy.
2) first class had 30 students, 2nd class had 31 students. Big difference is second class was entirely high testing gifted kids. That said - several were also english language learners, had multiple special ed needs (lots and LOTS of asbergers, adhd, spectrum).
3) I wasn't trying to change the grade... just trying to understand the justification of the grade. If he gets perfect scores on the benchmarks (district required tests) and perfect scores in math on the CSTs (NCLB required state testing), and is getting below proficient... I want to know what the grade is based on.
4) I get that method can and should be tested. But since he was given UNRELATED homework because he passed the pre-test, he had NO CHANCE to learn the preferred method. So yes - I was trying to get THAT changed. I don't like setting up kids for failure.
5) Unfortunately, this school had several crappy teachers. The school looks magnificent on paper because we're close to a university and high tech center so there are more PhD parents than blue collar types... and the teachers seem to think they're exceptional teachers rather than winning the demographic lottery.

I'm ok with what I did. His bad grades stand. I still don't fully understand why she would tell me he was doing fine and one of the brightest kids in the class and then give him less than proficient grades...

I don't do his work for him. If he fails to turn in work, I don't argue with the teacher.... So in that respect I'm not a helicopter parent.

 

[haha]

I agree....but if you mentioned anything like this in a faculty meeting you risked death.....I at times had up to 8 SPED students in a class, several that had their own monitors with them, I was the only one who didn't throw a hissy fit....so I got them and damn with the majority. Same with my comments about the push for everybody to go to University....... No plans for anybody who didn't want to go to University.......had to duck the death stares.....

I don't know if magnet, test protected schools that can't be defeated by various special interests and affirmative action directives can still exist in today's climate, but if so, send your kids to one. And if not, put off retirement a few years and send them to good private schools.

In 11th grade I transferred from a "good suburban school", to a flat out super school where things moved so fast that essentially no one could coast. The difference was night and day, in the teachers who all battled to get those jobs, the students who weren't messing around, and the overall atmosphere. And talk about helicopter parents! These parents would make their kids work, but they had to be secure that the teacher knew his/her stuff, and was fair. My parents were kind of hands off, and at first I thought some of these families were a bit over-the-top. But later I realized that was one reason why the school was so good. These parents cared, a lot, and many of them were influential in the city.

Ha

 

[F4mandolin]

1) We had several meetings with her (less than productive). We switched to email since that seemed to be her preferred method. I would also talk to her in the morning prior to class, when she didn't seem to stressed/busy.
2) first class had 30 students, 2nd class had 31 students. Big difference is second class was entirely high testing gifted kids. That said - several were also english language learners, had multiple special ed needs (lots and LOTS of asbergers, adhd, spectrum).
3) I wasn't trying to change the grade... just trying to understand the justification of the grade. If he gets perfect scores on the benchmarks (district required tests) and perfect scores in math on the CSTs (NCLB required state testing), and is getting below proficient... I want to know what the grade is based on.
4) I get that method can and should be tested. But since he was given UNRELATED homework because he passed the pre-test, he had NO CHANCE to learn the preferred method. So yes - I was trying to get THAT changed. I don't like setting up kids for failure.
5) Unfortunately, this school had several crappy teachers. The school looks magnificent on paper because we're close to a university and high tech center so there are more PhD parents than blue collar types... and the teachers seem to think they're exceptional teachers rather than winning the demographic lottery.

I'm ok with what I did. His bad grades stand. I still don't fully understand why she would tell me he was doing fine and one of the brightest kids in the class and then give him less than proficient grades...

I don't do his work for him. If he fails to turn in work, I don't argue with the teacher.... So in that respect I'm not a helicopter parent.

*Any teacher who can't explain the way they grade......is scary. Same with unrelated homework. I have been retired 2 years now.....but there were still teachers I knew who just gave homework/busywork because they thought they were supposed to.
*Face to face....yep, that's the way to go. The confusing emails have happened to me a number of times...when I caused the problem....it was usually because I was in a hurry and cranked out a quick email and the parent took the bluntness/brevity of the email as being a bit grouchy. Same thing could happen the other way.
*I sure don't know what the right answer is for having too many SPED kids in a class is......it's the law so the school has to follow that....but it sure slowed the 90% of the other kids in the class down.

haha- Wish I had taught in a school that had super motivated teachers all the way around. Problem is.....most schools have 90+% good teachers....then they get a hard class load.....then they stuck with being on a bunch of committee's......then stuck with coaching something.....then.....then......then they can't do a good job because they just don't have the time. I quit just before I turned 54, I was tired and started saying no to a lot of the extra stuff, that doesn't go down very well.

 

[Katsmeow]

particularly with respect to the integration of kids with special needs into the classroom. I'm sure it is better for those kids with special needs, but it really takes a toll on the time she has for the rest of the kids, particularly the brighter kids.

Just to make a point. "Special needs" does not mean that a child is not one of the "brighter kids."

Way back when my son was in public school, he was classified as having disabilities (dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD) and was considered a special education student.

However, he was also highly gifted, and ultimately graduated high school at 15.

He did need some help at school. In first grade he had an individual daily pull out in reading for a dyslexia program. Now - at age 19 - he reads extremely well.

He needed to have accommodations to allow him to type due to his dysgraphia. He is in college now and still receives accommodations that allow him to type his tests and papers, for example.

Far too many people feel that having a disability means that a student is stupid and can't be gifted. That is simply not true. (It is unfortunate that DS did have a few GT teachers who thought this. I still remember the teacher who wanted DS out of her GT history class because he couldn't color between the lines on class projects. Even though she agreed he was making an A on the class content, she wanted him a resource room class on the ground that his arm couldn't keep up with his mind so - of course - he needed to be in a class taught at below grade level).

For more about bright kids who also have disabilities look up the term "Twice Exceptional."

 

[travelover]

Just to make a point. "Special needs" does not mean that a child is not one of the "brighter kids."
.......

Totally agree. I was referring to the time taken per student.

 

[JoeWras]

Turns out he was getting all the right answers on the tests - but doing the math problems in his own methods, not the method she was teaching. And he never learned the preferred method since he pre-tested out of the modules and had entirely different homework.

Ha ha. I think the teaching whizzes of the 60s cut the parents off at the pass on this one! My parents never could even figure out what methods for us to use, or figure out what methods were in vogue.

Me in 6th grade: "Mom! Look what we learned. 4+3=12. Isn't that great!"
Mom: "No Joe, it is 7."
Me: "No Mom, it is 12. Teacher said to use base 5."
Mom: "Have your sister help you with your homework, I need a cigarette."

The helicopters were shot down by "New Math."

 

[F4mandolin]

Ha ha. I think the teaching whizzes of the 60s cut the parents off at the pass on this one! My parents never could even figure out what methods for us to use, or figure out what methods were in vogue.

Me in 6th grade: "Mom! Look what we learned. 4+3=12. Isn't that great!"
Mom: "No Joe, it is 7."
Me: "No Mom, it is 12. Teacher said to use base 5."
Mom: "Have your sister help you with your homework, I need a cigarette."

The helicopters were shot down by "New Math."

Ahhhh....another damn "study". Kind of like "statistics". Or.....you could put "politics" in here in place of education. You can prove anything you want....by asking only the type of questions you want answers(in favor) to.

 

[Katsmeow]

Totally agree. I was referring to the time taken per student.

When DS was in public school (that was 10 years or so ago), if there were a lot of kids in the class with IEPs, there was often a special ed co-teacher also present to assist and, in some instances, kids with a lot of special needs would also have an individual aide. I do agree that expecting a classroom teacher, who is alone, to handle all the needs of all students can be daunting in the extreme.

 

[Arifriekinel]

Far too many people feel that having a disability means that a student is stupid and can't be gifted. That is simply not true.

I'm with you here. In my gifted classes growing up, we had special needs kids, and not a single one of us had a problem with it. They needed some extra help, but people are always going to need extra help in life. It's something we all knew and supported at the time.

I'm not sure if it was because we were considered ahead of the curve, but that openness wasn't seen at the regular schools until I got into about high school, where an open, accepting society was promoted instead of squashed in some odd, hyper-competitive clone factory. I'm the same age as your son, and the other special needs kids in my class are also doing fantastic, the ones who went to college and the ones who went off to start their own businesses.

Especially now that society is back to forging your own path instead of churning you into college, special needs people aren't really so special needs as much as different needs. We, their peers, are used to a society where different people have all been able to work on their own talents instead of being judged on an arbitrary standard. It's led to more success for everyone around here, it seems, being able to do what they do best. Now we're all off being a productive as we can be for society as a whole. Further understanding of special needs people has done wonders as far as I've seen, and it's great to see people in the new world understanding what we all need as individuals. That could never happen if we just threw them all in some separate but equal container so we could feel more comfortable.

 

[Texas Proud]

*Any teacher who can't explain the way they grade......is scary. Same with unrelated homework. I have been retired 2 years now.....but there were still teachers I knew who just gave homework/busywork because they thought they were supposed to.
*Face to face....yep, that's the way to go. The confusing emails have happened to me a number of times...when I caused the problem....it was usually because I was in a hurry and cranked out a quick email and the parent took the bluntness/brevity of the email as being a bit grouchy. Same thing could happen the other way.
*I sure don't know what the right answer is for having too many SPED kids in a class is......it's the law so the school has to follow that....but it sure slowed the 90% of the other kids in the class down.

haha- Wish I had taught in a school that had super motivated teachers all the way around. Problem is.....most schools have 90+% good teachers....then they get a hard class load.....then they stuck with being on a bunch of committee's......then stuck with coaching something.....then.....then......then they can't do a good job because they just don't have the time. I quit just before I turned 54, I was tired and started saying no to a lot of the extra stuff, that doesn't go down very well.

One of the other problems is one that my mom had when she taught...

She taught kindergarten.... the other teachers were bad... she was known in the area as the teacher to send your unruly boy.... (this was before ADHD was even talked about).... she also had 40 kids in a class... about 30 to 35 boys and the rest girls...

She did get burned out because the principal would not spread the pain out to all of the teachers...