Hot Hot Hot

[azanon]

Da*n, i thought this thread was going to be about sex.

 

[sgeeeee]

Da*n, i thought this thread was going to be about sex.

Don't worry. It will be.

 

[Scrooge]

Da*n, i thought this thread was going to be about sex.

And I thought it was going to be spam about "hot stock picks" -- then I read the OP's name 

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

The good news is that with all this heat, nobody's wearing much.

The bad news is that with all this heat, nobody's wearing much.

The worst thing I might ever have to see is a woman, roughly 60 years old and 350lbs, in a (thankfully) one piece bathing suit, mowing her lawn.

I'd bet the neighbors would each ante up a chunk of cash to pay for a lawn service to keep her indoors.

Now the 20-something at the grocery store that was wearing a couple of pieces of tissue paper? I'll bet half the guys in the store just went for milk and ended up with a cartful of groceries they didnt need.

There ya go SGeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

 

[SteveR]

Yes Moab is hot.  Most of the west is hot.  Central CA is very hot.  FIL said it was 118 there a couple of days ago.  Yuck!  Makes our 104 seem like nothing.  St. George is going to be 105-112 all week.  The yard is getting crispy...even with sprinklers since we have had no rain in weeks and won't for a while.  

And this is not even the hot part of the year yet.  That would be August.

Still, I will take 104 and 15% RH to 98 with 90% RH anyday.  I was out doing yard work all day on Saturday when it was 104-105 yet survived to toil another day.  

You can have the rain and clouds of the Pac. NW.  The midwest is no better than the mid-South...still hot and muggy all summer.  The difference is about 100 degree temp. swings in the mid-west vs the south from winter to summer.  When we lived in Northern Il. it was normal to have -20 to -30 several days during the winter followed by 100+ in the summer with high humidity.  Great mosquito breeding weather.  Yuck!    Very few of the little beggars here.  I can actually spend time out side in the summer without dripping in repellent.

 

[greg]

It's hot here. Going to be in the upper 80s and humid through Thursday. It's never hot here. We have no air conditioning. We have only one fan. I can't sleep. Poor me.

My reading material seems boring and it is too hot to lay down and read. Greg is watching Deadwood on TV. Yuck.

I've offered to take her skinny dipping, in the dark, in water that is 55 degrees. I usually get the tongue.

--*re*

 

[SteveR]

I've offered to take her skinny dipping, in the dark, in water that is 55 degrees.  I usually get the tongue. 

--*re*

I am not going after this obvious attempt at a set up.

 

[Dawg52]

I usually get the tongue. 

--*re*

You served it up for us but I'm not gonna go there.  

Steve you beat me to the punch.

 

[REWahoo]

I usually get the tongue.

Me three.

 

[JPatrick]

  I usually get the tongue. 

I'd need a few more Coronas to venture into that one.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

But I will!!!

I'm going to see if that works with my wife. I spent all week warming up the pool water, think I'll drain it and refill with some ice water. If this works, I'm going to write a book. "How to get the tongue without begging!"

Somebody had to go there.

 

[TromboneAl]

-

 

[larry]

Here's my contribution, fill in your own state

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN your state here IN JULY WHEN. . .
 
           The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out
           of the ground.
 
           The trees are whistling for the dogs.
 
           The best parking place is determined by shade
           instead of distance.
 
           Hot water now comes out of both taps.
 
           You can make sun tea instantly.
 
           You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty
           good branding iron.
 
           The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little
           chilly.
 
           You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to
           steer your car.
 
           You discover that you can get sunburned through your
           car window.
 
           You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
 
           You break into a sweat the instant you step outside
           at 7:30 a.m.
 
           Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get
           knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook
           to death?"
 
           You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
 
           The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to
           do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
 
           Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them
           from laying boiled eggs.
 
           The cows are giving evaporated milk.
 
           Ah, what a place to call home. . . God Bless Our State!!

 

[shiny]

That's cute! I especially like this one:

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out
of the ground.

 

[larry]

This one is a couple years old but here goes...
A farmer from the wheat fields of Kansas dies and goes to hell. Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest of his inhabitants. He checks his gauges and sees that it's 95 degrees and about 80% humidity.

So he goes to the farmer and asks why he's so happy. The farmer replies," I like it here. It's just like plowing my fields in June."

Unhappy with the farmer's response, the devil goes back to his controls and turns the temperature up to 105 degrees and 90% humidity.

After making the adjustment, the devil goes looking for the farmer. Finding him just as happy as can be, the Devil frustratingly asks the farmer again why he's so happy. "This is even better now! It's like pulling weeds in the fields during July!" says the farmer.

The Devil, now quite upset and deciding to make the farmer really suffer, returns to his controls and cranks the! heat up to 115 degrees and the humidity to 100%.

"Now we'll see if that farmer is smiling!" he thinks as he goes looking for the farmer again. Finding him sitting on the floor happy as ever, the Devil is madder than before. When he asks the farmer why he's happy now,the farmer answers, "This is great, it's just like driving the combine in August!"

That was enough for the Devil. Running back to his controls, he turns the temperature down to a freezing 45 degrees below zero. Within a matter of minutes, the pools of molten brimstone begin to ice over.

"Let's see what that farmer has to say about this," snickers the Devil to himself. To his surprise, the Devil returns to find the farmer
running around and jumping for joy, yelling at the top of his lungs:

"The Chiefs won the Super Bowl!

I can't believe it!

The Chiefs won ! the Super Bowl!"

 

[laurence]

Hot and muggy here, too. Pushing 100 ( I think it got to 98) at my house, but at least we get relief at night. That whole house fan I had installed is working like a dream. Quieter than the air conditioner, too. We shut every window up at 7:00 am and hold in the cold as long as we can. Turn on the air around 3:00, off at 6:00, turn on the whole house fan for the next 12 hours and repeat.

Oh, and when I came home last night from work, I find DW and Tori have just returned from a day at the beach. DW has the nerve to say, "boy, laying out at the beach wiped me out!". This is the part where I feel good about providing for my family, right?

 

[REWahoo]

DW has the nerve to say, "boy, laying out at the beach wiped me out!". This is the part where I feel good about providing for my family, right?

Whatever works to keep up your...self esteem while she lounges at the beach and still brings home more $ than you do (or so you've told us).

 

[laurence]

In Gross, that's absolutely true! Those self employment taxes are killer though, in the end I net a little more in 40 than she does in 20.

So who's the loser now! Yeah, I thought so....

 

[Leonidas]

You know you're in Texas when....

You no longer associate bridges over rivers with water.

You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.

The best parking is determined by shade ..... not distance.

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

When fabric is considered the deluxe interior, rather than stick-to-your-seat leather.

 

[Brat]

4:10 PM: The temp is creaping right up to 74 F

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

No kidding...I took a hot shower this morning without even turning on the hot water...

To get cold water to refill the dog bowls, I have to go out and turn on the hose out back (last thing on the cold water pipe line) and let it run 5-10 minutes. Then what I get is the city water standard temp, which is about 85 degrees right now.

Drained half my pool and refilled it yesterday, and it was warmer afterwards...

 

[Gonzo]

I'm on a motorcycle trip and was in Richland, Oregon just south of Hell's Canyon last Saturday and it was 100 at 2:00 pm... way too hot to be riding a bike... had to wear gloves because the hand clutch and brake levers which are black were too hot to handle.

I stopped at the local Saloon and the a/c could only muster 84 but the beer was cold... got a room in a motel in the next block and stayed for the night.

I'm in Rapid City, SD and it was 94.

Gonzo

 

[Brat]

FYI, for those of you outside the area: Hell's Canyon is on the Snake River. The Snake River forms the border between OR and ID.

Idaho weather.

 

[Nords]

Buy a plane ticket.

Tropical Storm Daniel has stalled off the Big Island, which means the tradewinds have died and the air is almost completely still. It got up to 90 degrees today and it's pretty humid. (So I volunteered to take our kid to the dentist's appointment and the library.) Lots of clouds & overcast with some drizzle, but next week it's going to be raining like crazy... rotating shower bands will dump an inch of rain every couple hours for two or three days.

My nephew the Army Ranger is spending his six weeks' cadet summer training with a Schofield Barracks engineer's battalion. He's been staying with us but they're planning to spend next week out in the field (the Waianae range). He loves Hawaii so far but he may be gargling a different tune next week.

But let's cut to the important meteorological/oceanographic phenomenon-- TS Daniel will push east shore surf up to eight feet, and we'll get some wraparound on the south!

 

[Martha]

No kidding...I took a hot shower this morning without even turning on the hot water...

To get cold water to refill the dog bowls, I have to go out and turn on the hose out back (last thing on the cold water pipe line) and let it run 5-10 minutes.  Then what I get is the city water standard temp, which is about 85 degrees right now.

Drained half my pool and refilled it yesterday, and it was warmer afterwards...

When we used to visit my inlaws in Florida, doing the laundry on cold was the same as doing the laundry on warm here. Our cold water is almost painfully cold and never warms up.

I may take up Greg's offer of a lake superior swim. The surface temperature of the big lake yesterday near our house was 57 degrees. Across the lake in Cornicopia, Wisconsin, it was only 37 degrees. Wind must have been from the south and blew the warmer water up here.