Is "early retirement" insensitive right now?

[2017ish]

This would be an interesting topic for another thread - how much people feel they have sacrificed to achieve ER. It has probably already been the subject of a thread, I imagine. I don't feel that I sacrificed much at all, as I'm naturally wired to save, and not consume excessively....

We are basically wired like you, and from very early on had a plan to retire relatively early to travel. Others sure thought we were weird though. DW was the only doc who drove a cheaper car than most of her staff. I drove a cheaper car than any other lawyer that I worked with (and most of support staff). And, our conflicting schedules limited our travel (which is why we wanted to retire....).

But, all the kids got challenging schools and highly selective colleges without loans, and our annual week of travel as a couple was generally a pretty nice dive trip. We really didn't feel like we sacrificed at the time--although we sure do enjoy going out to eat every week now, not feeling compelled to always buy generic, and not characterizng grilled Chuck roast as "steak."

LBYM is the key--whether "sacrificial" or not.

 

[ls99]

For all my w*rking life never gave a thought to retirees, ER or otherwise. Having been retired for over 10 years, I never consider if anyone is bothered by retirees, ER or otherwise.

 

[brett]

IF I was considering early retirement at the moment during this covid period the question of whether it would be insensitive would be very far down my list.

Probably right before or right after the question should I buy a vacation home in North Korea or Syria.

 

[flyingaway]

Why is it insensitive if you have donated a job for those much needed?

 

[Amethyst]

I wonder if the question could be rephrased as, "Do other people ever have the right, depending on the state of the world etc., to make you feel guilty for retiring earlier than they do?"

 

[MarieIG]

I wonder if the question could be rephrased as, "Do other people ever have the right, depending on the state of the world etc., to make you feel guilty for retiring earlier than they do?"

Only if they are supporting your "early retirement."

We have seen a number of spouse posts throughout the years . . .

 

[Amethyst]

That's a point. It could be insensitive to a supporting spouse, if only one of you gets to retire. Let's assume OP has already worked out that part of the equation

Only if they are supporting your "early retirement."

We have seen a number of spouse posts throughout the years . . .

 

[MarieIG]

That's a point. It could be insensitive to a supporting spouse, if only one of you gets to retire. Let's assume OP has already worked out that part of the equation

Oh yes. I see nothing "insensitive" about OP retiring.

 

[KrisQuit]

I am fairly certain there are multiple things I say or do each day that others could decide to be offended by. I have no control over how others feel, and as long as I feel I have been honest and as kind as I can be, I’m good.

I am living my life, not theirs.

 

[brett]

It is completely up to me whether some else can make me feel bad about retiring early.

I did in fact meet a fellow colleague a few years after retirement who was either trying to make me feel guilty about early retirement or feel sorry for him because he was still working.

I could have cared less. No guilt, no feeling sorry. It make the decision about how I feel, not the other person. People make insensitive comments all the time. Just ignore them and go on with your life. You can hardly live it for those people.

 

[jimbee]

I am fairly certain there are multiple things I say or do each day that others could decide to be offended by. I have no control over how others feel, and as long as I feel I have been honest and as kind as I can be, I’m good.

I am living my life, not theirs.

Yep, other people's opinion of me is none of my business.

 

[Gumby]

I wonder if the question could be rephrased as, "Do other people ever have the right, depending on the state of the world etc., to make you feel guilty for retiring earlier than they do?"

The only person who can make me feel any emotion is me. Other people can say whatever they want about my retirement. Whether it makes me feel guilty is entirely my choice. So far, I don't feel guilty at all, and probably never will.

 

[Octogirl]

I don't worry about what other people think of my retirement plans.
Yes, during this pandemic, staffing shortages are a problem in some industries.
I am thinking of healthcare, where I am seeing staff shortages and recently retired staff are asked to come out of retirement - just to fill gaps.
But most managers understand if the choice is to "stay retired"
No one should feel guilty !! .

 

[FireFool]

Your friends at work will be happy and excited for you, the rest at work not happy for you aren't your friends and you won't be seeing them again anyways. As others have said keeping it low key and humble goes a long way in communicating your achievement. As to retiring in a Pandemic, unless you're treating COVID patients, you're improving the situation by opening up an job opportunity.

 

[RobbieB]

Maybe we should all attend sensitivity training classes before we announce our retirement to make sure we all don't offend those still on the treadmill.

Or not -

 

[Chuckanut]

That's the only way they can stand it. "Luck! It's all luck!"

And they're always partly right about that.

Like my old grand pappy used to say - "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity."

 

[brett]

It is unclear to me why I would be bothered about what anyone not close to me had to say about my early retirement.

We are big on MYOB. The flip side is we do not really care what others think about what we do, how we spend our money, how we live our lives, etc. etc.

Far too many interfering and judgmental busybodies in this world. It only encourages them if you listen to them or take their view into consideration when making a decision.

 

[Nemo2]

Far too many interfering and judgmental busybodies in this world.

Spoke to my (best) buddy of 53 years yesterday......he lives between Bloor & College in Toronto....he had a police visit recently.

Someone, who obviously knew where he lives, reported him for 'whipping his dog'......this is tantamount to Buddha being accused of assisting Josef Mengele.

Whipping his dog? He'd balk at whipping cream.

Sheesh.

 

[statsman]

It kind of goes both ways. My wife and I are not flashy with our money. We have a nice house, nice vehicles, comfortable clothes, but nothing that stands out. If anything, when people heard we were retired the last few years, you can see the wheels turning in their heads, wondering how we were able to afford it.

None of these people have a clue of what our net worth is, and we prefer to keep it that way. Only DD has a vague idea, and we've asked that she not even hint to her friends what we might be worth.

 

[brett]

It kind of goes both ways. My wife and I are not flashy with our money. We have a nice house, nice vehicles, comfortable clothes, but nothing that stands out. If anything, when people heard we were retired the last few years, you can see the wheels turning in their heads, wondering how we were able to afford it.

None of these people have a clue of what our net worth is, and we prefer to keep it that way. Only DD has a vague idea, and we've asked that she not even hint to her friends what we might be worth.

We are the the same. After retiring early we sold our house and traveled for seven months, then did furnished rental condos for a few months. Then got our furniture out of storage and rented for four years. There were people who thought we had spent all of our home equity and could not afford to buy. People come up with very strange conclusions sometimes.

 

[CoolRich59]

I had similar anxiety after I FIRE'd. In fact, I was very nervous going into the first big family get together after I retired. I even discussed with the DW how we should respond to all the questions and deal with the comments.

No one said a word about it. Turns out they had their own lives to lead and weren't all that interested in my milestone. In fact, I saw one of my nieces the other day and she asked me how Covid was affecting my j*b. She was surprised to learn I retired three years ago.

 

[Cassius King]

I think it depends on the audience as was stated earlier.

If you're talking to a group that brags about their Disney vacations/travel/new car, etc, then yes. I've worked hard and sacrificed to get where I'm at and you haven't F off.

If for circumstances someone wasn't able to health, etc, then I'll be very polite and charitable in assistance/communication.

 

[brett]

My spouse comes from a large family. Each of her siblings got married early and had children right away. Same for all of her cousins. Rabbits.

We waited 11 years because we were not ready. We had post secondary education to take care of, then some travel, and a few moves/transfers.

I got so tired of the comments about not yet having children that I came up with 2 stock answers depending on my mood at the time. My response was either my spouse was frigid or I was impotent. That was enough to shut them up. Sometimes you simply have to come up with a response that stops the busybodies in their tracks and clearly conveys that MYOB message to them.

 

[Gotadimple]

There are going to be people at work who do not understand how you could possibly consider early retirement when you are earning money at a solid job. You don't have their bills, and their bills are their problem.

There are people outside of work who don't have work through no fault of their own and that is very unfortunate. You can't worry about how they feel about your situation, all you can do is try to support them in their situation.

Retiring early has nothing to do with the state of the economy, or the nature of the world. It is simply a life decision you are making for yourself. Those who are jealous of your decision need to deal with their feelings, you can't help them with that, and you shouldn't feel you are being "insensitive" - unless, of course, you intended to save the world by working until normal retirement age.

Retire early. Enjoy not working. Do things that make a difference for others to extent that you can.

- Rita (retired at 59)

 

[pacergal]

I did not retire as early as many here, (was 60, but it was earlier than we had thought we would when we were younger!)

I worked hard, saved money, lived on a budget. No magic in that.

OP--if you lived your life worried how others think, you probably wouldn't be where you are today. So don't worry about how others think now. It's not insensitive, you are simply retiring. You've earned it, you've worked for it as much as they have/could have.
As long as YOU are not gloating, there is no problem.
Put in for retirement and leave quietly on good terms. No need to shout or have a big to-do about it.
Then, go enjoy the rest of your life!