Kids and college

[Hermit]

How do you know if a kid needs meds? Our youngest, a junior in high school, has terrible issues focusing, though he still pulls off A's and B's even with advanced classes. I recently started to wonder if we missed something, as the battle over focusing has not gone away and we can't break him of his constant drumming.

Some of you have said that meds really helped your kid focus, but then again, ADHD drugs are sought after by some of the best students who have not been prescribed them, to help them focus as well. So how do you know if meds are needed?

We put our DD through a battery of tests with a sociologist and psychiatrist. It was not cheap.

 

[dontworry]

We put our DD through a battery of tests with a sociologist and psychiatrist. It was not cheap.

This. Teachers were first to discuss it with us. Our oldest son's kindergarten teacher pointed it out and we went from there. Our youngest son's first grade teacher brought it up to us. We live in a small community and know the teachers, both very well-respected and one also has a son with ADHD. We then proceeded to have testing done to make the diagnosis (MD, psychologist, etc). Then we as parents had to make the decision about meds. After trying several, found the one that worked.

 

[jerome len]

I've got ADD and I've never graduated college. Didn't know I had ADD until I was almost 50 and medication is the best thing that's ever happened to me! So, if you know anyone truly with ADD or ADHD, don't be afraid of medication. I'm smart, didn't do well in school, people with ADD have poor memory and conentration dificulties. But..... I'm fairly smart, worked hard and my PHD wife tells me I got the "money" gene........so, my DW, sons and daughter and son in law all have degrees but I'm the one they turn to when they need a little money help. Now, I don't know what your kids should or shouldn't do but try to find out what they love, what they can be good at and the world is open to them in any career or life that doesn't require a liscense, like a Doctor or lawyer. trades are good, small business owner is good, sales is good......whatever they love to do. And, medicated if they are truly ADHD will help them in school and life. I don't take much medication but it really helped.........my PHD wife would totally agree with that after living with me for years. Good luck with your kids.

 

[eytonxav]

What sort of interests do your kids have? Are they mechanically inclined. Certainly a trade would fit many kids better and job prospects might also be better than many 4 yr degrees. May be a two year degree that leads to police, emt, fire dept, elect tech or something like that.

 

[Mulligan]

I concur with Katsmeow above. My sons both have the combined type.

I was a skeptic about the diagnosis before I had (adopted) children as well. Now I know better! I have lots of children in my life (including step-grandchildren, nieces/nephews, and my daughter) who definitely do not have ADHD, and my sons definitely do.

Definitely true, sometimes the med's work wonders and sometimes they help modestly. Then you have the other type... I had an enabling parent that wanted her troubled boy to get diagnosed as ADHD to avoid being held accountable for his actions. Well she made a mistake going to an old school doctor who told her that her son didn't need medicine, he needed a spanking. I convinced her to follow the good doctors advise and to the great surprise of no one his weekly visits to the office disappeared completely!

 

[Bestwifeever]

Yes. There is more than one kind of ADHD.

The title is actually Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (note the slash mark). ....

Sometimes people use the term ADD to refer to someone who has the inattentive type without hyperactivity. That is actually not the correct terminology (in the US anyway under the DSM). The word Hyperactive is part of the title of the disorder, even if the individual is not actually hyperactive and is only inattentive.

Ahh, thank you for explaining that--I could not reconcile the acronym as I understood it with your daughter.

 

[Katsmeow]

How do you know if a kid needs meds? Our youngest, a junior in high school, has terrible issues focusing, though he still pulls off A's and B's even with advanced classes. I recently started to wonder if we missed something, as the battle over focusing has not gone away and we can't break him of his constant drumming.

Some of you have said that meds really helped your kid focus, but then again, ADHD drugs are sought after by some of the best students who have not been prescribed them, to help them focus as well. So how do you know if meds are needed?

An evaluation. Our children go to a multi-disciplinary clinic with a psychiatrist and other professionals in it (psychologists, SLP, MSW, etc.). So they had the expertise to evaluate and determine what was needed. Making good grades - particularly at the high school level - doesn't rule out ADHD.

 

[Letj]

This. Teachers were first to discuss it with us. Our oldest son's kindergarten teacher pointed it out and we went from there. Our youngest son's first grade teacher brought it up to us. We live in a small community and know the teachers, both very well-respected and one also has a son with ADHD. We then proceeded to have testing done to make the diagnosis (MD, psychologist, etc). Then we as parents had to make the decision about meds. After trying several, found the one that worked.

I don't know if I would trust teachers. They often have an agenda which is making sure the child us not disruptive. Many teachers nowadays are unable to handle disruptive kids in the classroom.

 

[dontworry]

I don't know if I would trust teachers. They often have an agenda which is making sure the child us not disruptive. Many teachers nowadays are unable to handle disruptive kids in the classroom.

Yes I understand what you are saying, but we didn't just "believe" the teachers, we also had our sons evaluated appropriately. I am just stating that the teachers first brought the concerns to the table. They did NOT push meds and the school system here has been wonderful. I am very happy with the services my kids are getting thru the school setting.

 

[ducky911]

I would encourage them to find what they are "good at" than move from there. Taking different classes at a JC while they are finding themselves.

Many kids including myself are not ready to go away as freshmen in a dorm. After a couple years they may surprise you. Most of the successful people I know that did not to college wish they did, not to be better at work so much but for every other reason.

 

[Hermit]

I don't know if I would trust teachers. They often have an agenda which is making sure the child us not disruptive. Many teachers nowadays are unable to handle disruptive kids in the classroom.

That's an interesting subject. The teacher that alerted us to DD's ADD would have been her 3rd grade teacher as well as her 2nd grade teacher. She did us a great service by telling us her suspicions about our DD. DW also was convinced to the point of absolute certainty that the teacher would pigeon-hole the DD as a kid with ADD and not treat her as a kid that could keep up. We had the latitude to move her to another school of our choice in the district and that is what we did. It worked out very well for us and the DD had a great school career all the way through college.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Our local community college has a career planning class that includes all sorts of aptitude and personality tests for the modest price of the class. One of our kids took it and all the suggested careers were spot on. They were basically a 1 - 5 list of the careers he had considered, including his current major.

He didn't get a lot out of it because he pretty much knew what he wanted to do already and just took the class to fill an elective, but I think it would be great for a student who was less certain of how their talents and interests might match up to different careers.