Live-in-Place vs Retirement Community

[Caroline]

If you have few friends and family around you, I think a 55+ community is the answer.

....a living arrangement like a 55+ community could possibly be what I need. A place that you COULD have social interaction when you needed it as well as the safety aspect.

Now there's something I hadn't focused on. I'm an introvert who's not wild about being around other people 24/7, but I tend to isolate if I don't deliberately place myself in situations where I have to interact.

That's an aspect to the assisted living lifestyle I hadn't considered -- thanks!

 

[SteveR]

We looked at a 55+ community but decided againt it for now mainly because we want to associate with folks of all ages not just those over 55. We also found the restrictions on kids in the development too restrictive as we plan on having our grandkids stay with us more than just a few days a year. Also, the recreation area (pool) hours are very limited for kids. Had we no grandkids we would have been a bit more attracted to being in a 55+ limited community. Maybe after the grandkids are older and we are ready for that kind of environment.

 

[tangomonster]

I live in an active adult community, but it's not age restricted so there are some people below 55. Since it's small (76 condos), there are no major activities, just a clubhouse and a pool. It suits us for now. But when the time comes that we can't drive, that's where the problem lies.

Some of my older neighbors say they consider their lifestyle to be assisted living. They have someone come in and clean and they go out to eat a lot.

As far as I can tell, the 55+ communities have lots of activities but no real support for persons who need help with driving/cleaning/cooking. So for true aging issues, it seems that you would have to live in a community with different levels of care (where you start off with independent living and then can go to assisted living if you need it or a (please, please, please---anything but!) nursing home if needed).

SteveR, I thought most 55+ communities allow grandkids to live for up to 3 months, like for summer vacation?

Caroline and happy2bR, as a recovering introvert who (thanks to retirement wants to connect more with people), do you really think you could handle all the social interaction? Would the types of clubs and activities they have interest you? Unfortunately, for us introverts, much of what we like to do is solitary type activities!

 

[happy2bretired]

Caroline and happy2bR, as a recovering introvert who (thanks to retirement wants to connect more with people), do you really think you could handle all the social interaction? Would the types of clubs and activities they have interest you? Unfortunately, for us introverts, much of what we like to do is solitary type activities!

Are the social activities mandatory attendance?? I would hope not, anyway I wouldn't want that. I would just want people around when I wanted people around - not be isolated every day. On MY terms. Maybe with a better opportunity to get acquainted with a few people with like interests but not in a club-like setting. I'm not asking for much huh?

With my hearing problems, I don't like large groups...just give me one or two people at a time and that suits me better. A travel buddy would be good....preferably one that can hear better than me.

Anyway, I keep thinking of the housing situations that my grandmother and aunt had. Both were low income and lived in a low income housing apartment for the elderly in a small town. It was a community within a community. Not everyone socialized with each other, but, everyone had a few buddies. They would check on one another, go out to eat and in my aunt's case, go to the casinos together. Can you imagine a car load of 80-90 year olds DRIVING themselves 75 miles to go gambling? That would SCARE me.

They made their own entertainment most of the time...not club settings, etc., but they were given the opportunity to make friends easily because they lived close to each other and shared interests just because of their ages.

 

[SteveR]

I
...SteveR, I thought most 55+ communities allow grandkids to live for up to 3 months, like for summer vacation?...

Not Sunriver in St George, UT. They restrict kids under 18 to 2 weeks per year. That is not enough for us so we passed them by. There are no other such communities in the area. Being in the middle of the desert makes for limited options sometimes.

I agree on the issues with needing help as we age or get incapacitated. My mother is in assisted living and there is no other choice for her. She was in a nursing home for 3 months post surgeries last year and they nearly killed her...broke her hip, had more surgery, got pneumonia, then septicemia etc. She is finally back in assisted living and is happy to be there. She says if she ever has to go back she wants to be either comatose or insane first.

 

[Zoocat]

I think I would go bonkers in a over-55 community. I'm an introvert and find that groups are really hard to take for very long. Also, I've found that people in groups always think there's something wrong with you and they want to change you if you aren't as social as they are. Already, I find most of my friends who are my age really hard to take sometimes with their complaints and opinions about things that aren't to their liking. Strangely, my best friend is 70 but she is not your typical senior at all, still engaged in life and not ready for a over-55 community at all.

I was thinking about this the other day while having a latte at my neighborhood coffee house. There were some young families there and I was really enjoying just watching them and being around them. The father was wearing his baby in a sling and the mother was watching him like she had just fallen in love with her husband all over again. Brought back some nice memories for me. This is the kind of wonderful vicarious experience that I'd miss if I lived among a lot of aging people with the same concerns.

 

[SteveR]

Oldbabe,
I agree for the most part. After spending a considerable amount of time with my mother in both the assisted living residence and the nursing home I will currently opt for a more diverse community. No disrespect intended, but some old folks are just plain crabby and hard to get along with. Some are great and are a pleasure to be around but many are very focused with what is wrong with everything rather that with what is not. Much too negative for my tastes.

 

[Brat]

Assisted living and nursing care are not really 'retirement' living facilities, they are levels of care facilities. If we need to move far afield when we need those services our age cohorts will rarely be able to visit.

Frankly grand children visit only occasionally. We have young grand children so we visit them. When they are older, if we are able, we will take them to do things they enjoy - fishing, camping, the beach or a zoo, Elderhostel trip - whatever floats their boat.

I don't think limiting children to a 2 week stay per year is an issue, most wouldn't want to stay more than a week, if that.

You folks out there who are 70+, how much time do your grand children spend staying in your home visiting you each year

 

[Refugee]

Newbie here - but I'm really interested in this subject. There are lots of these "active retirement" communities here, and they're building more. One rep told me that people my age are a "niche market" - there are lots of us and many have money.

One problem I've found is that we can't afford the high-end communities but we have too much income to qualify for the rent-controlled ones. There's not a lot in the middle.

 

[Brat]

There isn't much to pick from if you want accredited continuing care retirement communities in Texas. Trinity Terrace looks rather plush, at least from the website. Trinity Terrace Retirement Community - Fort Worth, Texas
The others in your state are designed for military retirees.

The management firm for the Trinity community also operates a couple I am familiar with in Oregon. Holiday Park Plaza, for example is a nice facility with a middle-income market. I suspect that the cost of the real estate itself has a lot to do with the expenses. Holiday Park Plaza has been around a long time. Frankly I think that a community that has been around a long time is a wiser choice. Many were founded by churches but rarely are religious. The Baptists, Methodists, and Episcopalians have sponsored retirement communities across the country. The epitome of middle income is the one sponsored by the Mennonites in Albany, Oregon, the only one sponsored by that denomination to my knowledge.

The Masons have a few communities. I suspect because they limit themselves to members they don't bother with accreditation.