looking for advice

[weOUThere]

few years back my folks bought some land.
would be where they would move to and retire and an inheritance for me and my sibling.

they weren't able to move there right away and as my family was looking to move they offered for us to move out onto the land early and we would take car of the property until it's totally passed on to my other sibling.

my folks have now settled out here as well and they are talking about how to split things up. Was always going to be a 50/50 land split between me and my sibling.

The only issue is my folks have decided that the land is split 50/50, but that my sibling will inherit their house on the land.

They have always wanted to split things fairly - just wanting to get anyone else's opinions - is that a fair split?

thanks

 

[lawman]

few years back my folks bought some land.
would be where they would move to and retire and an inheritance for me and my sibling.

they weren't able to move there right away and as my family was looking to move they offered for us to move out onto the land early and we would take car of the property until it's totally passed on to my other sibling.

my folks have now settled out here as well and they are talking about how to split things up. Was always going to be a 50/50 land split between me and my sibling.

The only issue is my folks have decided that the land is split 50/50, but that my sibling will inherit their house on the land.

They have always wanted to split things fairly - just wanting to get anyone else's opinions - is that a fair split?

thanks

Did you build a house on their land?

 

[weOUThere]

yes we did - there was an old house there we had removed and built on the site where the land could eventually be split even.

then when they moved out they built on the opposite side.

 

[weOUThere]

I'll add that their thinking (both theirs and my siblings)
is that since we got to "come out early" on the land we've benefitted from it (which is true) - but my thinking is we haven't benefitted in the same amount as when my sibling will inherit the other half of the land with the house

 

[pb4uski]

few years back my folks bought some land.
would be where they would move to and retire and an inheritance for me and my sibling.

they weren't able to move there right away and as my family was looking to move they offered for us to move out onto the land early and we would take car of the property until it's totally passed on to my other sibling.

my folks have now settled out here as well and they are talking about how to split things up. Was always going to be a 50/50 land split between me and my sibling.

The only issue is my folks have decided that the land is split 50/50, but that my sibling will inherit their house on the land.

They have always wanted to split things fairly - just wanting to get anyone else's opinions - is that a fair split?

thanks

First question... do you don't own the land that your house is built on, right?

If so, you should get that sorted out right away... and NEVER, EVER build on land that you don't own or have a long-term lease on again!

So you and your brother will each get 1/2 of the land but he would also inherit your parent's house that current sits on the lot that he will inherit.

Is your use of the lot worth the house? Perhaps. What may be more fair is to somehow adjust for the fact that you have had free rent for so many years. So for example, if a reasonable rent for the land that your house sits on is $1,000 month and you have been there for 10 years when your parents pass and their house (excluding the land) is worth $240,000, then you would be all square... your "share" of the house is $120,000 and is equal to the amount of "free rent" that you have received over the years.

Or alternatively, perhaps your parents deed you your lot now... which solves the problem of your building a house on land that you do not own... and in exchange your sibling gets both the lot and your parents house when they pass. That would seem fair to me.

ETA: But you are in a weak position and have no leverage. Your parents can at anytime of your choosing disinherit you and at worst you would lose your house and at best you would have to move it off their land.

 

[weOUThere]

First question... do you don't own the land that your house is built on, right?

If so, you should get that sorted out right away... and NEVER, EVER build on land that you don't own or have a long-term lease on.

So you and your brother will each get 1/2 of the land but he would also inherit your parent's house that current sits on the lot that he will inherit.

Is your use of the lot worth the house? Perhaps. What may be more fair is to somehow adjust for the fact that you have had free rent for so many years. So for example, if a reasonable rent for the land that your house sits on is $1,000 month and you have been there for 10 years when your parents pass and their house (excluding the land) is worth $240,000, then you would be all square... your "share" of the house is $120,000 and is equal to the amount of "free rent" that you have received over the years.

Or alternatively, perhaps your parents deed you your lot now... which solves the problem of your building a house on land that you do not own... and in exchange your sibling get both the lot and your parents house when they pass. That would seem fair to me.

Thanks for that - we are clear deed wise on the land - I'll look up what land leases would cost out this way and keep that in mind going forward - hadn't thought of it that way but it does help settle my mind a bit - thanks again!

 

[pb4uski]

What do you mean where you say "we are clear deed wise on the land"? You told lawman that you built on your parent's land... so I'm confused.

 

[weOUThere]

What do you mean where you say "we are clear deed wise on the land"? You told lawman that you built on your parent's land... so I'm confused.

sorry - meant they purchased the land and we built, and split the land while that was going on.

 

[pb4uski]

ok.. so when your parents purchased the land you got your half for free and they got the other half but paid for the whole thing/both lots?

IOW, if the total lot was 4 acres then they bought the 4 acres, they deeded you 2 acres at no cost to you that you built on and kept 2 acres for themselves that they built their house on?

If so, then your parents may have a fair point to have your sibling inherit both their land and their house as you received your inheritance in advance. Of course it all depends on the relative value of the land that you received and the house that your sibling will inherit.

 

[weOUThere]

ok.. so when your parents purchased the land you got your half for free and they got the other half but paid for the whole thing/both lots?

IOW, if the total lot was 4 acres then they bought the 4 acres, they deeded you 2 acres at no cost to you that you built on and kept 2 acres for themselves that they built their house on?

If so, then your parents may have a fair point to have your sibling inherit both their land and their house as you received your inheritance in advance. Of course it all depends on the relative value of the land that you received and the house that your sibling will inherit.

that's about exactly correct (except for the size of land etc)
There were alot of costs involved in clearing and other things that my sibling won't need to do. - BUT we are trying to look at it from a retirement perspective...we moved out here to minimize so retirement could come quicker and done with less, so we've accomplished what we wanted to do in that regard.

 

[Jerry1]

“Fair” is whatever your parents think it is. Or, maybe fairness, as in 50/50, doesn’t even occur to them. They’re leaving both their children in houses on land. However that came to be, maybe that’s all the thought they gave it. You just can’t know and there’s nothing to be gained by fretting over it.

Some parents openly and happily discuss these matters with their children. If that’s your parents, let them know you’re having trouble sorting things out. If they’re not inclined to discuss it, move on and be happy with your life and the family that you have.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”

 

[weOUThere]

“Fair” is whatever your parents think it is. Or, maybe fairness, as in 50/50, doesn’t even occur to them. They’re leaving both their children in houses on land. However that came to be, maybe that’s all the thought they gave it. You just can’t know and there’s nothing to be gained by fretting over it.

Some parents openly and happily discuss these matters with their children. If that’s your parents, let them know you’re having trouble sorting things out. If they’re not inclined to discuss it, move on and be happy with your life and the family that you have.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.”

thanks!

 

[latexman]

“Fair” is whatever your parents think it is.

Sometimes, if the language in the will is very general and not very specific, “fair” is left up to the executor. That was the case for me and my 3 siblings.

 

[Koolau]

I sometimes give thanks that both DW and my parents left virtually nothing when they passed. That way, there were no hard feelings among siblings. If I'd wanted to "feel bad" about my younger sister, she was loaned money by parents and never paid it back. Was that fair? Probably not, but I'd give a lot just to have her back as she passed even before my mom (last parent) did.



Family is more important than money/property/fairness. Make peace with the situation as you can get more money or property, but you can't get new siblings. Be the "stronger" sibling. Of course, YMMV. Good luck.

 

[brett]

This is a question that you should be asking your parents.

They are in control of the situation. It is their opinion that matters.

 

[ivinsfan]

OP, what would you see as completely fair? Think about it for a second. You made the decision to build on half the land, knowing your parents intended a 50/50 split.
So you built on your land, which your parents generously put in your name.


You don't say, but imply that you paid your parents nothing for this land. If you were in your brothers shoes, what would you consider fair? Start from there and think about it.

 

[pacergal]

Always told my kids that "fair is not always equal". What was fair was each kid got what they needed from us at the time.
Funny how things work out, both of them have realized that in actuality, it has been pretty much 50/50 overall.

OP--go on your county website and look at the value of the land and house on each lot. Are they fairly close?
It sounds like things have been pretty equal to me, but if it really bothers you, perhaps a discussion with your folks is warranted. However, they are free to disperse their things as they see fit.

 

[Surewhitey]

Glad we only have one daughter. I get the feeling of fair as sis & I are in a similar situation with older bro. We don't have a close relationship, so I just don't sweat it and it's only ~$30k each. He's a special kind of brother too, so why bother everyone for fairness sake?

Karma may come into the situation eventually...

 

[Koolau]

Always told my kids that "fair is not always equal". What was fair was each kid got what they needed from us at the time.

Hear, hear! Well said.


When we have been "unequal" with our kids, we haven't been open about it. No need to stir a pot in that way. But trying to meet each child's needs (without enabling) has been our goal. YMMV