So I've set some goals for myself, to help break me out of my comfortable complacency. I have no interest in becoming driven or ambitious again, but I do think I need goals and a sense of forward movement.
I think we all need "goals", in some form or fashion, to be happy. It's basic human nature. Even goals as modest as "I'm going to clean up and declutter the downstairs closet today" give us a sense of purpose and ambition, and when done it feels good to have accomplished something that took a bit of effort. Sometimes I hear that people don't have (and don't want to have) any goals whatsoever, and for me at least, that is a recipe for boredom, malaise, and mental / emotional atrophy. So I always have a list of goals in mind, some very small and short-term, some much larger and more complex, to keep my mind engaged and to have interesting things to look forward to.
I can actually recall early in my c*reer, topping the little hill by the plant site and getting a thrill. How could I be so lucky as to w*rk here. I still kind of feel that way (in retrospect - the luck part) but I'm betting I couldn't find 40 people who remember me by name and no more than 2 or 3 who would recall any of my significant accomplishments. IOW, we live, we w*rk, we die and no one really particularly cares. I guess it's just the way of the world. Being upset by it is a fools errand.
Couldn't agree more. I think many (if not most) of us go through life and our careers feeling like we are doing something very meaningful or somehow important and that everyone around us is noticing and impressed by our accomplishments. But, of course, the reality is that most people are highly self-absorbed and ultimately don't care much at all about you, your life, or your accomplishments and will forget all about you very soon after you leave their little corner of the world.
Here is how our socially-driven inner self views the world.
And here is how things actually are.
I took these from an article on the
Wait But Why website about why all of us should stop caring so much about what other people think of us.
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/06/taming-mammoth-let-peoples-opinions-run-life.html
The more I've thought about this, the more I believe that things like growing a crop of really nice summer veggies in my garden is every bit as valuable, meaningful, and "important" as starting / building / running a successful company, or winning a major tennis tournament, or writing a critically-acclaimed novel, just to give a few examples. Ultimately, even the most seemingly important and consequential accomplishments get washed away by the passage of time, so there is no reason to work yourself to the bone trying to become a world-class, renowned X or Y or whatever as opposed to focusing on smaller, more achievable, self-satisfying goals. Much sooner than most people realize, very, very few people will have ever heard of you or will know or care about anything you did in your life, even if you were a very "great" person in some way. How many people today actually know of or care anything about Alvah Curtis Roebuck, born in 1846 and co-founder of the once great retailer Sears, Roebuck & Co.?
Through my 30s and 40s I used to write all of my goals on one index card each January and keep it in my wallet. One typical bullet was, "Become a national VP (in my field) in 5 years." Well, I accomplished that one and found out quickly that I do not like the extreme accountability to others and I really could not stand my highly-torqued CEO boss. I dialed it back to a director level at a different org with a truly nice boss and I am much happier. I haven't managed to write an index card in 2-3 years now, so that tells me I'm in a good groove. At 51, when I do write one next, a goal will be "Finish this current project, quit and slow travel the globe with my wife for a year." "Do more bonefishing." "Go to Aspen Ideas Festival once." Those are the kind of goals I'm driven to these days - for personal enjoyment and growth, bucket list stuff, not career stuff, which inspires more of a "been there, done that" feeling. I'm glad I still have that personal kind of ambition, at least!
Yep, it's a good thing when you realize that these arbitrary career / status-related goals are nothing but tantalizing illusions. Any happiness or fulfillment you derive from things like becoming a national VP tends to be pretty short lived, as you quickly pivot to the next goal after a sense of complacency and boredom sets in. We are in a constant state of striving, never able to reach that "nirvana" state of being where we believe ultimate fulfillment and happiness awaits. So instead of chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, better to travel leisurely towards the rainbow, having interesting adventures along the way and enjoying the small daily rewards that, when added up over a lifetime, are probably better than what was supposed to be in that pot of gold anyway.
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