Midlife crisis?

[Martha]

Crisis? Maybe He’s a Narcissistic Jerk - New York Times

In 1999, the MacArthur Foundation study on midlife development surveyed 8,000 Americans ages 25 to 74. While everyone recognized the term “midlife crisis,” only 23 percent of subjects reported having one. And only 8 percent viewed their crisis as something tied to the realization that they were aging; the remaining 15 percent felt the crisis resulted from specific life events. Strikingly, most people also reported an increased sense of well-being and contentment in middle age.

 

[unclemick]

Yep

I was layed off/canned/made redundant/they couldn't say too old and too expensive.

Ticked me off so much - I just went out and had an affair - with ER.

- 15th year and counting.

heh heh heh - I certainly hope there is no cure.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

I spent $5k plus and got my pilot license at age 40. DW was terrified. I was terrified half the time. We still had loans, young kids. I gave it up a few years later, shaking my head at what the f$#k I was thinking.

Does that qualify as an MLC? (Got a few more to consider if you don't give me credit for that one.)

 

[Martha]

Nope, it doesn't qualify, you were too young. I started riding motorcycles when i was about 40. Doesn't count as a midlife crisis for me either.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Nope, it doesn't qualify, you were too young. I started riding motorcycles when i was about 40. Doesn't count as a midlife crisis for me either.

OK. Got into motorcycles again (after riding in college) at 45. Like BIG bikes. Goldwings, BMW K1250LT, thousand mile trips, a "performance award" from the Az highway patrol for doing, will, a little faster than the posted limit on an isolated mountain road with 20 mile vistas, purple mountain majesties, etc. (it was only 1 digit more than the limit, though that digit was to the left ).

Any better?

 

[Khan]

My father had a bit of a MLC at about age 50. He did not abandon his wife or his livelihood. He did go off by himself for a few weeks (with wife's knowledge), and then went home.

 

[CCdaCE]

Is there such thing as a "I just had kids" crisis? How come nobody tells you it'll be this much work. And now you're telling me it's gonna get worse in another 10-15 years?
Sheesh!

-CC

 

[Martha]

OK. Got into motorcycles again (after riding in college) at 45. Like BIG bikes. Goldwings, BMW K1250LT, thousand mile trips, a "performance award" from the Az highway patrol for doing, will, a little faster than the posted limit on an isolated mountain road with 20 mile vistas, purple mountain majesties, etc. (it was only 1 digit more than the limit, though that digit was to the left ).

Any better?

Accepted. Wanna race motorhomes?

 

[growing_older]

Folks having a mid-life crisis are probably not as aware that that's what they are doing - but their friends and family might be a better measure of whether they are having one or not.

The "I just had kids" crisis usually gets better after a short while when you figure out how best to cope with the little darlings. (Though some can get Post Partum depression and that can be very serious). Then have plenty of fun with them for years until they become teenagers and think you are an idiot. Though luckily they mostly grow out of that too, eventually.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Accepted. Wanna race motorhomes?

Yesss!!! (air-punch).

With or without a full black water tank?

 

[Alan]

sigh, I feel so boring. No mid-life crisis here I'm afraid, unless you count switching jobs and re-locating to another state 'cos you just couldn't stand the BS anymore and were prepared to resign 2 years before being eligible for ER

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

...BMW K1250LT, thousand mile trips, a "performance award" from the Az highway patrol...

hmmmmm. And I thought we didn't have any contact points.

Accepted. Wanna race motorhomes?

You rock, Martha!

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Though luckily they mostly grow out of that too, eventually.

And sometimes we just get numb.

 

[toofrugalformycat]

At age 41 I quit my job and traveled around the world. Luckily DH was willing to quit his and come with me. So we had our mid-life crises together. It was fun when it wasn't terrifying.
I don't have a motorcycle or motorhome but I'll race you with my bicycle. I might beat you for the first 12 inches or so if you let me balance with feet in the pedals.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

At age 41 I quit my job and traveled around the world. Luckily DH was willing to quit his and come with me.

Lucky lass!

 

[haha]

Crisis? Maybe He’s a Narcissistic Jerk - New York Times

I don't think leaving your spouse is evidence of a "mid-life crisis", or of being a jerk. Maybe you are just tired of him or her, or would like the feeling of pursuing or being pursued, or just would like to be with someone who smells and feels different.

What is wrong with that?

Maybe life is just too damn long to spend with one person, unless you are allowed to break it up with some affairs. Chances are primitive man managed to get it off with some new friends occasionally, and maybe at times switched horses. And if he/she couldn't manage that, the high death rate for young adults created enough turnover to make monogamy bearable.

Ha

 

[Insanity]

I had -- or am having -- a mid-crisis transition. I just bought a fancy new cycle -- bicycle -- and got a new, better looking wife (O.K., it's the same wife, but she's having her own crisis and started working out lots, lost weight and now looks something fairly similar to the figure she had when we met, so she looks like a new wife. Perhaps she thinks she's thinks she has a new, better looking husband, too!??), and I'm trading my old, stressy, desk-jockey career in on a new one that keeps me active and on my feet (with no unpaid overtime anymore) and will (hopefully) last me through to when I retire or can afford to go part-time.


It's a different sort of mid-life crisis . . . but it was still a look around to come to the realization that we weren't where we wanted to be or even headed in that direction. So we're making changes that will get us where we want to go. Or at least make life more interesting.

 

[megacorp-firee]

YOU THINK YOU'VE had a mid-life crisis?
My DW won't let me ride a motorcycle OR take flying lessons.
NOW THAT'S a mid-life crisis.

 

[donheff]

And only 8 percent viewed their crisis as something tied to the realization that they were aging; the remaining 15 percent felt the crisis resulted from specific life events.

Yeah, I went through one of those specific (read job) crises. Ended up making a major job shift which got me through the next 10 years to ER. It had nothing to do with age, dreams, etc. I suspect people who agonize over unfulfilled dreams, "is that all there is," etc., more frequently end up as long-term depressives rather than short-term life crisis'ers. That sort of deep dissatisfaction seems like a fundamental feature of personality.

 

[Nords]

Apparently none of these [-]narcissistic[/-] mid-life crisis people are surfers.

Is there such thing as a "I just had kids" crisis? How come nobody tells you it'll be this much work. And now you're telling me it's gonna get worse in another 10-15 years?
Sheesh!

Hey, if you choose to spend your time [-]pro[/-]recreating instead of reading the warning posts on this board, you get what you deserve: a life sentence with no parole.

I wouldn't trade our teenager for anything, but she might trade me.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

actually your fun at 40s was likely more midlife than any foolishness at 50, unless you really think you're going to 100. i'm holding off on having my midlife crisis until i'm 65. maybe i should recalculate my swr first.

 

[Alan]

YOU THINK YOU'VE had a mid-life crisis?
My DW won't let me ride a motorcycle OR take flying lessons.
NOW THAT'S a mid-life crisis.

For my 40th birthday DW bought me flying lessons - came as a complete surprise as I had not even mentioned the possibility.

.... I think may be she expected me to have a mid-life crisis and decided to try and point it in the right direction

 

[megacorp-firee]

For my 40th birthday DW bought me flying lessons - came as a complete surprise as I had not even mentioned the possibility.

.... I think may be she expected me to have a mid-life crisis and decided to try and point it in the right direction

lol congrats... I guess I'll have to do my flying in the coach section.

 

[Grizz]

I think that a mid-life crisis compares well with your teen years. Some pass through with ease, and some have a real challenge on their hands. Decisions made in these times when the brain is not at its peak can easily impact the rest of ones life.

The problem is that even though everyone else sees it, you can't recognize that your thinking and actions are odd until after you pass through that stage of your life and look back. Hopefully you look back and can laugh at yourself rather than being filled with regret.

That mid life affair/divorce, red sports car, toupee, motorcycle, abrupt job change, relocation with no real prospects, ER at all costs, all seem like perfectly rational ideas when someone in a mid-life crisis is making decisions. If you can cruise through the 35-55 age range without doing too many of these things then count yourself lucky.

There are plenty of people who look back on those years and can't fathom that they once believed their actions and thoughts to be rational.

 

[Khan]

I think that a mid-life crisis compares well with your teen years. Some pass through with ease, and some have a real challenge on their hands. Decisions made in these times when the brain is not at its peak can easily impact the rest of ones life.

The problem is that even though everyone else sees it, you can't recognize that your thinking and actions are odd until after you pass through that stage of your life and look back. Hopefully you look back and can laugh at yourself rather than being filled with regret.

That mid life affair/divorce, red sports car, toupee, motorcycle, abrupt job change, relocation with no real prospects, ER at all costs, all seem like perfectly rational ideas when someone in a mid-life crisis is making decisions. If you can cruise through the 35-55 age range without doing too many of these things then count yourself lucky.

There are plenty of people who look back on those years and can't fathom that they once believed their actions and thoughts to be rational.

Reminds me of college and the all purpose morning-after excuse: "At the time, it made sense."