My son wants to me to help pay for his very expensive wedding? How much?

We interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

OP, long departed after his/her "gone traveling" certification, thinks "What thread could I start on ER.org that would stir up those penny-pinching, money loving essobees? I know! I'll ask their opinion about a fictitious situation where I'm being pressured to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding. That'll stir them up!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion. :)
 
REWahoo said:
We interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

OP, long departed after his/her "gone traveling" certification, thinks "What thread could I start on ER.org that would stir up those penny-pinching, money loving essobees? I know! I'll ask their opinion about a fictitious situation where I'm being pressured to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding. That'll stir them up!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion. :)
Click to expand...

Nice avatar …
 
REWahoo said:
We interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

OP, long departed after his/her "gone traveling" certification, thinks "What thread could I start on ER.org that would stir up those penny-pinching, money loving essobees? I know! I'll ask their opinion about a fictitious situation where I'm being pressured to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding. That'll stir them up!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion. :)
Click to expand...

:LOL:
 
I'm sure the son and future wife are influenced by the number of glamorous shows and magazine stories on weddings, along with social media.

I'm reading a Travel magazine, and it is saying how people are spending gobs of money on honeymoons.
Of course this magazine nearly always touts incredibly expensive things, like hotels that cost over $1K per night and such... how else do they attract the upscale advertisements.
 
REWahoo said:
We interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

OP, long departed after his/her "gone traveling" certification, thinks "What thread could I start on ER.org that would stir up those penny-pinching, money loving essobees? I know! I'll ask their opinion about a fictitious situation where I'm being pressured to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding. That'll stir them up!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion.
Click to expand...

:LOL:
 
HarveyS said:
Might be worthwhile to have lunch with the bride's parents and get a read on where they are coming from. Could be any number of things, for instance:
A. Our baby girl gets whatever she wants.
B. We told them $50k and that's it - the kids need to figure it out from there.
C. Thank goodness you brought this up. They pushed us for $50k and we caved. We think $50k is crazy. Let's talk with the kids.
Click to expand...
That, and I was wondering if the OP's son really wanted the money, or if he also thought that $40K more was a bit ridiculous, but he was trying to keep the peace and expected to be able to go back to his fiancee and say "I'm so sorry, honey, I begged and pleaded but they just wouldn't budge!"
 
REWahoo said:
We interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

OP, long departed after his/her "gone traveling" certification, thinks "What thread could I start on ER.org that would stir up those penny-pinching, money loving essobees? I know! I'll ask their opinion about a fictitious situation where I'm being pressured to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding. That'll stir them up!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion. :)
Click to expand...

I agree that the scenario described by OP at the top of this thread is hard to take seriously at face value. And now, apparently, OP has been banned. OK, fair enough, I'm sure that was done for good reason(s). I'm always suspicious of people who start provocative threads that garner multiple pages of responses, and then abandon the thread. Glad the mods are running a tight ship. :)
 
REWahoo said:
We interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

OP, long departed after his/her "gone traveling" certification, thinks "What thread could I start on ER.org that would stir up those penny-pinching, money loving essobees? I know! I'll ask their opinion about a fictitious situation where I'm being pressured to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a wedding. That'll stir them up!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled discussion. :)
Click to expand...

So true, that made me laugh. I was truly horrified by that amount of money for a wedding.
 
Aerides said:
The "bride side pays" thing strikes me as a bit off balance and out of date, harkening back to days of dowries.
Click to expand...

Indeed. But we also have a LOT of work to do regarding getting the gentlemen off the financial hook regarding who pays for many other situations.

My observation is that in my area it's fairly common for the groom's family to pay for the rehearsal dinner, the bar bill at the reception and perhaps some other incidentals. That's what we did for DS.
 
Last edited:
My kids are still 14/10 so no experience doing weddings. But a few of my mentors had high dollar weddings (a week's pay for them). A woman who used to work for me when I had a business - she had one kid - she came out of being a SAHM to pay the daughter's college and wedding - - and by golly she did. And the wedding was $120k.

I guess I"m wondering a "first class" trip - to let's say Hawaii.....staying at a 5 star hotel..... guaranteed that alone is $20,000.

That leaves $30,000 for the luxury wedding.

If $30,000 buys a lux wedding I'm going to go outside and jump for joy.
 
Does not sound like a good idea. You are setting expectations. Today it's wedding, tomorrow it might be travel expenses.
 
Personally I would advise them to have a small intimate wedding for just a few and take all that money and put it to their first home. Then when the marriage fails as most do…. they stand a good chance of getting the money back and will have lived better and with a real commitment as a couple to have shown for it. The huge wedding is like the fur coat you never wear or the big diamond that sits in the vault. It adds nothing to your everyday life or happiness. And often even the memories are not of the joy but the problems and anxiety. It is mostly showing off and is a poor way to start your lifetime partnership
 
This entire wedding business got way out of control decades ago. Like so many other things (cars, houses, clothes, etc.) more families are going way past what is reasonable for their budget and much of it is due to "Keeping up with the Jones".

Cheers!
 
I'd pay for the rehearsal dinner for my son.

EDIT: no alcohol, though. It's again my religious beliefs...to buy alcohol for others.

In 2023 the annual gift limit rises to $17k.

I'd gift that for wedding/house/etc. & mom could match if she felt it reasonable.
 
Last edited:
Give what you want and can afford and it's it's $0 then it's $0.

That being said DC got married this summer for 110 people and it was around $100k. So no I highly doubt the numbers being thrown around were fake and not made up. It's a real thing how much these weddings are costing. Big HCOLA city with guests, open bar, photographer, cake, it adds up fast. The bar bill alone my DC said was around $25k.

That does not include their honeymoon which is another $30k or something to bora bora. Yes I am not making this up. Its' in March 2023. The tickets were $10k and the room was $2k/night? That's not including everything else. And this is their real honeymoon but after the wedding they went on a mini moon to iceland which was another $20k.

So yes people live like this and it does cost something like this.
 
livingalmostlarge said:
That being said DC got married this summer for 110 people and it was around $100k. So no I highly doubt the numbers being thrown around were fake and not made up. It's a real thing how much these weddings are costing. Big HCOLA city with guests, open bar, photographer, cake, it adds up fast. The bar bill alone my DC said was around $25k.
Click to expand...

$25K for 110 people to drink for 1/2 a day? Did they all have 20+ drinks?
 
Aaron, according to my calculations at 10/ drink they each had 22:)). Lifestyles of rich and famous alcoholics!
 
Teacher Terry said:
Aaron, according to my calculations at 10/ drink they each had 22:)). Lifestyles of rich and famous alcoholics!
Click to expand...

Not sure how anyone has 22 drinks in one day. Even when I was in my early 20's and binge drinking 2-3 days a week I still couldn't have more than maybe 8 drinks before I got sick and had a horrible hangover. Now it's half that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

M
Gift or bridge loan for son house purchase
Replies
2
Views
419
mf15
M
R
College Resident Assistantship(RA) and filing 2023 1040 tax form
Replies
0
Views
249
retire2020
R
J
Money Books for Newbies
Replies
12
Views
713
scfr
S
T
How is the Match taxed on a Roth 401k?
Replies
15
Views
802
euro
euro
jollystomper
Financial Advice Columnist falls for $50K scam
4 5 6
Replies
134
Views
11K
Koolau
Koolau

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom