One Spouse Works...One Spouse ER

[Chuckanut]

Since you have more time at home, use some of it to lighten her burden when she is home. Get the cleaning and laundry done one day a week. Do the grocery shopping another morning. Have a nice dinner waiting for her several days a week. Soon, she will wish you had retired years earlier.

 

[travelover]

More like this?

OMG! Did I leave the curtains open again?

 

[PERSonalTime]

Like this?
.

LOL!!!!!!

 

[Helen]

I retired last May after being obsessed with early retirement for over 15 years. I thought my spouse was on board with it until four months before I qualified for retirement. That's when she told me she still liked parts of her job and wasn't emotionally ready to retire.

She is getting ready to pull the plug, possibly this summer. I'm doing my part to encourage her; I am leaving tomorrow for close to a month in New Zealand.

If she had to work a few more years to qualify for retirement benefits I doubt I would be going. Financially she can retire whenever she wants. I planned on doing a lot of travel the first four years of retirement while my body is still in good shape, so I'm going to go.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I'm glad you are doing that Helen. My DH spent most of January in Belize with a buddy of ours, and is going back on a repeat of the rally again this summer for 6-7 weeks, this time in a small car with three Brits, on the southern route (look out Ed, he's coming by Baku!)

I think it is great to travel on your own. My one and only visit to New Zealand was solo, back in 2006. You will love it.

 

[travelover]

............If she had to work a few more years to qualify for retirement benefits I doubt I would be going. Financially she can retire whenever she wants. I planned on doing a lot of travel the first four years of retirement while my body is still in good shape, so I'm going to go.

Good for you. Sometimes it takes a reminder that our good years are finite.

 

[MichaelB]

I couldn't imagine not supporting DW wanting to travel with her family or friends. After all, I did spend more than a thousand nights (or two) away while she stayed back and took care of the house and kids. We still travel together, and the break gives her opportunities that might be a bit tougher if I were alongside.

 

[Gumby]

The young wife and I will likely retire together. If she retired and I remained working, that would be just as it was when we were newlyweds and just as acceptable. However, I think there would be trouble in River City if I were retired and she remained at work.

Given that she would never retire in the middle of a school year, that means a June retirement. Right now, probably June 2018.

 

[Alan]

Have a great trip Helen. When we visit New Zealand in a few months we'll be on the look out for trees with the words, "Helen was here, 2014" carved into them.

My DW ESR'ed a few years before me, and I was more than happy, though jealous, when she twice spent 6 weeks traveling in England.

 

[Mulligan]

Again, it seems obvious, but cleaning up one's place for a visit from sweetie pie is different from cleaning up to meet Sarge's expectation. Though clearly not for you. You are to be congratulated. Anyway as I tried to say, but it must not have been heard- THIS IS ONLY ONE MAN'S OPINION. It is definitely not be taken as coming from the Mount. I thought random and even idiotic opinions if not against our complex set of rules were allowed? Ha

Being a single guy, but having a long term GF with a relationship that had just started prior to my retirement, put me in a unique situation. For my ER sake, it's a good thing we didn't find each other earlier in life as I can definitely smell the " when you retire, I retire" in her. But option 1 pension plan of if I die, the money is gone will keep her working until her early 60s which is more than a decade away. I have plenty of money for me on a monthly cash flow basis because of my pension, but for 2 things wouldn't be so nice (especially at pre 50 age). She just recently transferred to a better job which has put her in a late push for a pension retirement plan, that will keep her from gnawing on my rear on a daily basis because I do not work and she does.

 

[trapperjohn]

My wife and I are in a similar situation. I will retire in 4 years and want to move south. She, on the other hand, does not want to ever retire or move from our home up north. We've even been to see 2 marriage counselors about all of this, and everyone (including the counselors) is in agreement that when I retire, I will start living at least part of the year down south, and my wife will continue to live up north. My wife is actually encouraging me to start planning for the eventual move. May not work for some ... but it appears to be an amicable solution for us.

And to tie in to another part of this thread ... when I'm home, I'll be happy to be the house-husband and do all the cooking and chores!

 

[aim-high]

Recently ER'd, but DW is still working (not by choice). Does anyone have any interesting stories or advice for coping with this situation? Does the working spouse get jealous, mad, glad, relieved What's your story?

Our view, we are not ER until we both are ER. Our view is we're one team. Granted, not everyone views it that way.

 

[NYEXPAT]

I retired in 1987 and DW is scheduled to retire 2033. I think the key for us was that I was already retired for 18 years, when I met her.

 

[travelover]

.......... when I retire, I will start living at least part of the year down south, and my wife will continue to live up north. My wife is actually encouraging me to start planning for the eventual move...........

Whatever works for you. I'd have to get a girlfriend.

 

[robnplunder]

DW retired sometime in her 40s (don't know exactly when as I never counted/noted). I didn't think of it has her RE. Instead, I treated it as her "stopped working" and started taking care of me while I am still working. When I retire in a year (less than a year), I will consider it as we both RE'd (similar to what Aim-High said). Besides, taking care of me is a full time work for any person .

 

[Ally]

I hope my husband will take care of me when he retires soon, and I work 2 more years!