Please Help - Bipolar mom ruined her finances!

[Music Lover]

I was quoting my roofer! Ha ha, did you think I know how to do roofs?

I never underestimate the skills of a woman.

You are fortunate to be able to save money with DIY.

It comes in handy and in my younger years when I never made that much I could earn the equivalent of a month of wages shingling 2-3 houses.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Many areas do have subsidized senior housing or senior care homes (not Medicaid funded). One of our older friends just moved into one but the wait list was years long. The OPs mom has equity in the home so qualifying to get on a wait list might be tricky, but perhaps an elder care attorney could help with that aspect.

 

[Andy R]

Sorry you have go through this. I am dealing with a very similar situation. My Mom is 72 and has been drinking and overmedicated to the point that the cocktails of meds she takes could tranquilize an elephant. After various attempts to get her help she is now bed ridden and this week we are working to get her to to rehab so she can go into a home after. It's a complex process but we have learned a lot.

For my Mom we are using her very limited cash to pay down credit card debt and then angling to get her approved for Medicaid. Once that is done then she can trade in her SS payment for housing and meals. We hired an elder care attorney who specializes in this to help us with the process.

During C19 senior homes saw a big decline because people were worried about the spread inside the homes. Now they are seeing a big surge in new residents and filling up fast. So I think there will be a pretty big shortage soon. Might want to keep that in mind as it's probably a smart thing to start getting her on some waiting lists.

For me it's a big ole PITA because I've spent a ton of money supporting her over the last couple of decades and she keeps making bad decisions (addiction). So it's hard to have empathy at times like this when **** hits the fan. I hope we can get her in somewhere this week and then they can help get her the right care that she needs. It puts a lot of stress on the family, that's for sure!

 

[REWahoo]

Andy, sorry to hear about your mom's situation. Here's hoping for a good outcome for her and your family.

 

[ivinsfan]

Andy sorry about your Mom but paid an elder care attorney who told you to pay down CC debt? That seems counter intuitive.



Perhaps you have left something out of the picture.

 

[Sunset]

.....
For my Mom we are using her very limited cash to pay down credit card debt and then angling to get her approved for Medicaid. Once that is done then she can trade in her SS payment for housing and meals. We hired an elder care attorney who specializes in this to help us with the process.

....

Don't know why you are paying down credit cards, I feel it's a mistake.
Possibly better to spend the money on pre-paid funeral expense.
Hopefully you are checking with the elder care attorney before spending the money.

 

[JJtheNav]

Thanks again everyone, I am looking to place her in a nursing home as she is no longer able to take care of herself. Hoping Medicare and Medicaid covers the majority of the expenses.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Medicare will cover for only three months. Medicaid will take over. Spend down, expect the proceeds from the house to go to Medicaid.

Do your research. It sounds like a good plan.

 

[marion10]

Medicare will pay for 90 days in a nursing home/ rehab facility IF you come directly from a hospital. Otherwise it is Medicaid. Your mother will be expected to sell her home ( nothing wrong with that IMHO) and then Medicaid will pick up the tab after her assets are exhausted. I don’t know why the resistance to talking to attorney. Every county in the US, has a Area Office on Aging. Google her county and state and those words. They can give you an idea of what is available. I would look into pursuing guardianship. Your mother can revoke the POA at anytime. Bankruptcy may be an option- but expert advice is needed in this situation.

 

[2retireearly]

She can not live alone, from your description. See the house. Use the proceeds to go to assisted living, which can also ramp up to memory care. Go to a place that accepts Medicaid. So use all her money, to pay for it, and if she is still living when the money runs out, apply for Medicaid.

 

[Bamaman]

FYI: In our vicinity, a nice assisted living one bedroom apartment with meals runs around $2,100-$2,200 per month. If they must dispense meds, it's another $500.

A full nursing home in a decent facility runs about $7,000 a month.

I would think in larger cities and the farther north you go, the prices go up exponentially.

We paid $170K cash to get my mother into a CCRC apartment, and it was $2,050 per month. What got us was the $300 a day it cost for 24/7 help to watch over her. My sister wouldn't hear of her going into a nursing home. 90% of her "security deposit" was returned at her passing.

 

[Retired Expat]

Sounds like your mom might do better in an assisted living situation. If her finances are what they seem to be she might be covered by Medicad and not just medicare. Does seem odd that at 73 she ran up medical debt unless she didn’t process the bills through Medicare?

Or depending on values rent the house and apply the net rent to her care. There can be some tax advantages in letting her estate sell the house when the time comes but again likely not at her financial level.

Sorry for your Mom and the position you are in. Found myself in much the same place some years ago after father squandered a small fortune!