Quit the world at 34 and now "broken" and refuse to go back

[jim584672]

Millennials doing retirement, interesting to watch. Not an approach I would do, to each his own.

 

[Moemg]

Why is this even relevant, whatever it is it is working for them and they are enjoying it.

It is interesting to understand how they support this life style . Even Billy & Akaisha Kaderli talk about how they were able to retire at 35 with $500,000.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

By the way...my life isn't boring, although it might be for you. But it probably works both ways.

I Never said it was, read the sentence again, see what I mean? Words can be interpreted differently by others.

 

[kgtest]

Matt? Matt Foley? Is that you?

Chris Farley? Or was he playing the character Matt Foley?

 

[REWahoo]

Chris Farley? Or was he playing the character Matt Foley?

Yes, and yes.

 

[brydanger]

Is it possible that what you are characterizing as an "excuse" is viewed by another person/couple as a very valid "reason." If someone is going to put on this cloak of nonjugementalism, respecting the choices of others as being equally valid, etc, then let's apply that across the board and grant that maybe these other people are just as capable of reasoned thought as we are.

Wow.
I certainly apologize that this is how these words read to you, but I sure you im hiding under no "cloak of nonjudgement".

When I talk about people who use excuses, i'm not talking about everyone with kids (that would obviously be ridiculous). I was talking in that context about people who say "I can't travel because I have kids".
This is not a "reason" as many many others are actively doing so, which makes it a "choice".

To admit that many of the "reasons" we give ourselves are actually "excuses" is very empowering as it means those things are simply choices we made, which also mean we get to make different ones IF we choose.

"I cant" is VERY rarely a "reason" in my experience (that's not a blanket statement to all...thats in my experience with the people i've talked with and tried to help find the courage to make this kind of jump).
In no way have I tried to make this thread or any comment in it an "all or nothing" and have continued to state that it's here for those who it might help... not for those don't find any value (presumably, you included).

I'd also submit that a couple that actually has kids and are raising them may have a different perspective than a childless couple about the best environment for raising those particular kids.

And I would agree with you 1000%.
IF you go back and actually read the context in those posts you'll see never once I suggested that the other poster take his/her kids and travel.
That poster suggest that people traveling with kids should NOT be for various reasons and I suggested that he/she should be able to make the decision what is best for their children.

You've repeatedly characterized your decision to adopt your present lifestyle as "running away." People run away from things they don't like, or that they fear. And you wrote:

which reinforces the idea that fear is a primary motivation for your decisions. Maybe I've got it wrong, maybe you (both) are really running "toward" this journey/adventure thing. I hope so, because being afraid isn't a great way to go through life

Thanks for therapy...but very much not needed.
I could write a book on our journey, but trying to write a (hopefully helpful) synopsis of it here that is helpful is very difficult. You are merging 7years of life into a single instance.

When we originally left 7 years ago, yes... I was running away (as fast as I could) from something I very much feared - being stuck and not making a change (due to fear of the unknown) in my life that I would regret later.

Now I have dealt with those demons, have recreated myself several times over and now that things seem to be on a good track for us and I get to make decisions for happiness rather than money - I have mostly dedicated myself to trying to help others who feel trapped or stuck the same way that I did.
I was lucky... I had a hippy wife who believes that nothing is more important than happiness and convinced me to go find it with her. Not everyone has that positive influence in their lives and I will continue to share my story (here and anywhere else) to help those who need to hear there is actually another "choice".


Why that seems to have had such a profound negative impact on you and others I have no idea.

 

[folivier]

Congrats! you're living my dream. If only....I like most people and especially my wife felt that we had to be grounded by work, family, house, etc. But I've always dreamed of buying a boat and leaving everything behind to sail off into the sunset. We did that for 2 years in our motorhome a few years ago, but family brought us back to a house.
We're retired and living our dream in our motorhome spending the summer in Alaska while the small house near family is closed up. However medical issues have kept me from doing some of the things I really want to do on this trip, if only....
I still have a dream of buying a boat to spend time on, possibly run over to Florida, up the TennTom to the lakes, maybe over to the Bahamas. If only....
Do you have a blog? I would love to read about some of your adventures, PM it to me if you'd like. And continue enjoying your life and I'll ride along in my dreams!

 

[ivinsfan]

"profound negative impact"..uh, you have no impact on me negative or otherwise. What is an excuse vs a reason? How is a reason an excuse? Depends on your point of view, doesn't it?

All points of view are welcome here, but they will be roundly and thoroughly debated.. You can take that to the bank!

 

[brydanger]

Millennials doing retirement, interesting to watch. Not an approach I would do, to each his own.

Afraid we missed the millennial generation by 5-8 years.

Funny though, it is something we hear often.
The millennials look at us and think we live under way too much structure and shouldn't be paying taxes or insurance to really be free.
The last generation (and often our own) look at us as though it's some kind of crazy idea to actually enjoy your life in your younger years rather than waiting for a later that might never come.

All we've done is make a decision that the big house and acreage isn't what we're after. The fancy car and status symbols don't matter to us, which means we can live on FAR less (and means we can work for less years).

Being truly. blissfully happy daily is what we've chosen to go after... and that doesn't seem so crazy to me.
My grandparents always said "don't wait until you're old to go enjoy yourself and live your life fully". I just cant figure out why I went right back to work the next day and it took me so long to try and listen.

As you say, to each his own.

 

[brydanger]

Congrats! you're living my dream. If only....I like most people and especially my wife felt that we had to be grounded by work, family, house, etc. But I've always dreamed of buying a boat and leaving everything behind to sail off into the sunset. We did that for 2 years in our motorhome a few years ago, but family brought us back to a house.
We're retired and living our dream in our motorhome spending the summer in Alaska while the small house near family is closed up. However medical issues have kept me from doing some of the things I really want to do on this trip, if only....
I still have a dream of buying a boat to spend time on, possibly run over to Florida, up the TennTom to the lakes, maybe over to the Bahamas. If only....
Do you have a blog? I would love to read about some of your adventures, PM it to me if you'd like. And continue enjoying your life and I'll ride along in my dreams!

Thanks for the positive response (they seem few and far between)

IF ONLY...
is exactly what has made us focus on this now.
We've actually tried to listen to others that say/have said the same and tried to go after those dreams now while we know we can. We also feel the pull for family and friends and it has been a constant battle. Trying to friend the balance between the things that make you happy is more difficult than it would seem.

For us it came down to a few key events in life (and , im sure, several small ones).
- Without being told of my high blood pressure (and knowing my history with stress) I would have never been able to pull the trigger
- Without traveling for a few years in Mexico and Central America we wouldn't have come to the realization that the ONLY other people we met our age who were traveling and exploring their dreams had just lost someone or been diagnosed.
- Without running into an old salty sailor on a road trip to Alaska last year and hearing how sad he was to have to stop sailing and move into a van/RV (because his body couldn't take it anymore) we would have never move sailing from a lifelong dream to putting an offer on a boat 3 days after that conversation.

 

[target2019]

Thanks for the positive response (they seem few and far between)

A compliment followed by a backhand to others. You're labelling comments that you don't agree with as negative, but that is not the intent.

I'm out of popcorn, and must leave the thread. Best wishes to your family.

 

[jim584672]

Afraid we missed the millennial generation by 5-8 years.

Funny though, it is something we hear often.
The millennials look at us and think we live under way too much structure and shouldn't be paying taxes or insurance to really be free.
The last generation (and often our own) look at us as though it's some kind of crazy idea to actually enjoy your life in your younger years rather than waiting for a later that might never come.

All we've done is make a decision that the big house and acreage isn't what we're after. The fancy car and status symbols don't matter to us, which means we can live on FAR less (and means we can work for less years).

Being truly. blissfully happy daily is what we've chosen to go after... and that doesn't seem so crazy to me.
My grandparents always said "don't wait until you're old to go enjoy yourself and live your life fully". I just cant figure out why I went right back to work the next day and it took me so long to try and listen.

As you say, to each his own.

Sorry, when I saw 34-35 I just thought Millennial, closer reading would show 35+7=42, my bad.

 

[brydanger]

It is interesting to understand how they support this life style .

We are completely transparent and have no issues talking finances and about how we got here...
Again I believe there's power in people knowing that there are other options. I'm certain that all of our steps are things that the calc and others on here would call crazy (and probably are crazy), but it's what we chose and it's working for us.

We also know we worked our asses off to get here... so while I'm likely opening myself to public shaming in what already seems a fairly negative/hostile thread, I have nothing to hide.


Most of our financial situation was made by working the situation from the opposite end and spending less.
FAR LESS - that's were living/traveling in a van comes in.
Knowing that we can live off almost nothing is immensely empowering... and knowing that we can be insanely happy while doing it... words can't describe how powerful and life-changing that is.

The beauty of living happily off very little is that there's very little pressure on any one income source. Ours is split up between a few small income streams.


Primarily, we live off passive income from real estate we purchased and renovated after-hours while working our jobs (and a couple properties since).
We saw friends who were investing many years ago and realized we were jealous... but instead of just sitting back and wishing we had what they had we found a way to make it happen. Essentially we asked for their secret, read "rich dad, poor dad" and followed every word (right until the buying of large complexes and commercial properties... that sounds like a lot of stress and we don't feel like we need the income).

That passive income (while we hope/expect it to continue growing over the years with inflation and as the mortgages disappear) is currently helped by money generated from a few small businesses we accidentally created based upon our lifestyle, doing what we love and trying to help others do the same. One was from designing/remodeling our home-base, the other from converting our van into a campervan.

I know forum rules don't allow me to share those businesses here so I won't list them... but effectively they are small passion projects that also lead to some extra income (which can be helpful) while still doing things we're passionate about.



Does it occassionally feel like we have too many eggs in the real estate "basket"?? Sometimes, yes.

But as stated, we also know we can live off very little happily and if there's ever a downturn I know several beaches in Mexico that would be a dream to park a van on... and now we know several islands in the caribbean where we can anchor off of for free.

Oh, wait - we're already doing that... I guess the backup plan has officially become the plan.

Mostly, I think for us what has become most empowering/freeing in this process is knowing that we have already recreated ourselves a few times with no income, no support and no safety net (we both come from modest/poor families and there is nothing to wait on or help to expect there)... so why would we doubt that we can do it again as/if life mandates later?

If you have more questions feel free to ask.
Like Ive said several times here - i'm sure this path isn't for everyone and I wouldn't expect it to be - but I think its important for those who are struggling or who don't actually love their jobs to know that it is possible to figure some things out after RE rather than all the pressure being placed before RE.

 

[Teacher Terry]

We like to travel but only 2 weeks at a time. I really enjoy my home, family and friends. Once I went to college in my 30’s I started a career I loved. I also need security to feel happy. I know a few couples that retired at 40 and now at 65 they cannot afford to do the things that typical retirees do because they are barely getting by. They tried to go back to their careers in late 50’s but weren’t successful. I also am a big believer that kids need stability. We moved a few times for jobs cross country and it took time for everyone to adjust. A friend of mine was a military brat and hated all the moving. Glad you are enjoying your life. Don’t assume others aren’t enjoying theirs.

 

[RunningBum]

Thanks for the positive response (they seem few and far between)

We also know we worked our asses off to get here... so while I'm likely opening myself to public shaming in what already seems a fairly negative/hostile thread, I have nothing to hide.

You can stop the persecution complex any time now. I went back through the thread, and the only negative comments are because of some attitude you are giving about people following the more traditional path. Despite your denials, those posts were pretty spot on, IMO, whether you intended it, subliminally think it, or just chose poor wording a few times. You can deny this post too, but I'm not going to believe it.

I suspect you were looking for people to rave about how brave, cool, and awesome your lifestyle is, and were put off when you got mostly a lukewarm response.

Sorry for the hostility in this post. I'll back off now.

It is interesting to see the different ways people handle the ER decision and the ER lifestyle. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

[brydanger]

Glad you are enjoying your life. Don’t assume others aren’t enjoying theirs.

It's clearly not a lifestyle for everyone, just the one we chose and love.
We love travel and experiencing new places/cultures and so we've crafted our life around it (but still love our home, friends and family).

I make no assumption whatsoever that others aren't happy and/or enjoying life... but i'm also not posting for those who are. Im posting trying to give a bit of positive energy/encouragement to those (like us before we left) who feel trapped and unhappy in their jobs and don't see a way out through the "typical" path.

 

[braumeister]

Im posting trying to give a bit of positive energy/encouragement to those (like us before we left) who feel trapped and unhappy in their jobs and don't see a way out through the "typical" path.

IMHO, one of the points others have been making is that there aren't many of that sort here in this forum. You may be assuming that we are representative of the general population, but we aren't (for a wide variety of reasons).

 

[Teacher Terry]

People on Mr. MM would be more impressed.

 

[brydanger]

You can stop the persecution complex any time now. I went back through the thread, and the only negative comments are because of some attitude you are giving about people following the more traditional path. Despite your denials, those posts were pretty spot on, IMO, whether you intended it, subliminally think it, or just chose poor wording a few times. You can deny this post too, but I'm not going to believe it.

I suspect you were looking for people to rave about how brave, cool, and awesome your lifestyle is, and were put off when you got mostly a lukewarm response.

Sorry for the hostility in this post. I'll back off now.

It is interesting to see the different ways people handle the ER decision and the ER lifestyle. Thank you for sharing your story.

You labeled your post as hostile, not me.
I don't doubt that I haven't taken the adequate time to perfectly word every post here and make sure its perfectly stated. I've now spent the better part of a day writing at least 50 responses... but I never intended attitude on any of them.

To be VERY clear - I have no problem whatsoever with people following the "traditional" path. I support everyone on here and have since I joined (whatever path they're on)...
I'm simply pointing out that other paths also exist and it doesn't seem to be a very popular stance (as you point out, every post can be interpreted differently, but that's been my overall takeaway).

I most certainly did not post here expecting people to "rave".

Quite the contrary... I've read forums for years and have never started a thread about our lives because I see how it typically goes for those who posted (hint: it s not usually warm fuzzies if its outside the "norm").
We have had our story shared in media and on youtube and the response also weren't warm or kind.
I certainly didn't start writing here because I expected any better and that's fine with me, I can take it and I have nothing to prove.

Im posting in an attempt to help those who need it/want it - nothing more.

For years I've spent time and energy helping those we meet or run across in our travels who ask for it, but I still feel obliged to do so on a larger level and to at least attempt to reach the people i'm not likely to run across in real life...
I couldn't find anyone before we left to gain the courage and to see another possible path to follow... and maybe many of those people I could have gained it from were also sitting back and reading but not posting out of the same fear of negative repurcussion... thus this thread.

It may not be helpful to anyone, but if it helps someone/anyone see that theres another path and that somehow make the process to finding happiness easier for them - than its worth all the criticism or labels you or anyone else want to throw my way.

 

[brydanger]

IMHO, one of the points others have been making is that there aren't many of that sort here in this forum. You may be assuming that we are representative of the general population, but we aren't (for a wide variety of reasons).

When you say "that sort"... what exactly do you mean?

In my reading here, it seems like there are indeed "all sorts" of people who came here to try and find possible ways to escape the rat race early.

Many who get up the courage to post their financials here only get told that they have no option but to go back to the grindstone for a few more decades.
I happen to believe (and want to show) that there are indeed other options than simply "wait until the calculator says it's time".

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Im posting in an attempt to help those who need it/want it - nothing more.

And high page rank links to your web site in your profile page? Sorry, but the whole broken kind of wording seems more like ER blogging attention grabbing wording to me than a real person post.

Although I do agree on the thinking different and low overhead living part.

 

[braumeister]

When you say "that sort"... what exactly do you mean?.

The context of my post was clear, and I don't want to start you off on another 50 posts hammering away at it.

 

[Silver]

This is starting to smell like a troll. I could be wrong....often am. But some of the signs are there. If he asks "what are the signs of a troll?" we'll know for sure.

 

[JustCurious]

Many who get up the courage to post their financials here only get told that they have no option but to go back to the grindstone for a few more decades.

You claim not to be judgmental, but you use judgmental words and hyperbole to belittle people with different views or life circumstances than yours.

You are right that sometimes people who come to this forum to ask if they are ready to retire are indeed told that they are not ready and they do have to work longer. But I can't think of a single case where someone was told that they have to "go back to the grindstone for a few more decades." Aside from the fact that the phrase "go back to the grindstone" is judgmental because it assumes that someone hates their job which is not always true, I don't recall anyone being told that they have to work "for a few more decades." I define a few as at least 3, so a few decades would be at least 30 years. Even with the most charitable interpretation "a few" must be at least 2 or more, so in that a few more decades would be at least 20 years more of work. I don't know that I remember anyone being told that they have to work for more than 20 years more than they expected to work. If you can cite one example, I will stand corrected, but I think you are using false hyperbole to pass judgment while claiming not to be judgmental.

 

[brydanger]

And high page rank links to your web site? Sorry, but the whole broken kind of wording seems more like ER blogging wording to me than a real person post.


Although I do agree on the thinking different and low overhead living part.

And THAT's exactly the kind of "judgement" that makes me feel like the general response is so negative!
Notice there are no links to a blog (or anything else) in this thread or any of my other posts... so while I don't claim to understand how page ranks work... that seems impossible

I write as I think... sorry if you'd prefer something else, but I assume you im a real person (last I checked).