real-life golden girls?

[PCHPIE]

i'm almost 54...can retire at 60 (from academe). i'm divorced and childless...have often wondered if a real-world golden girls situation is possible...where healthy women friends share a house, have separate bedrooms/baths, enjoy each other's company, respect each other's privacy, share expenses, etc. is possible. i'm the only person in my circle of acqaintances that expects to be 'alone' in retirement, but i'm sure there are other women like me out there. an internet search yielded nothing. what about it?

i live in athens, ga...great town, classic little city, home of univ of ga...many amentites here plus close to atlanta...plus only five hours from the beach, two hours from the mountains, seems like a great place for women friends to share retirement.

i'm still a few years away, but interested in thoughts on this.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Hello! Hope you find what you seek. I have a comment
on a remark in your post that caught my eye. I used to
date a teacher who at that time was 50. I asked once about her retirement plans. She also planned to
retire at 60. I was amazed at this. I know there are
millions who will not be able to retire that young, but
waiting 10 years seemed just incredible to me ( she was not that happy in her work). I had already semi-
retired at 49 and thought I had waited way too long.
I have so many friends who could retire but do not
for various reasons. Loving what you do is a good reason to continue doing it. In my case, once
I made up my mind to stop working, I never looked back.

Good luck!

 

[RedOscar]

Anything is possible. Just don't confuse Hollywood for real life. Personally, I would think it highly unlikely that 3 or 4 complete strangers could hit it off wonderfully in the long term. But then again, you never know. Good luck.

 

[Kitty]

This would be a very rare thing to happen in real life. I have a girl friend who has shared my home off and on for a year or so she has her space and schedule and I have mine-add another woman to the mix and somebody is going to be unhappy with something.

A long time friend and a reasonable amount of space both physically and mentally is very important. It is nice to have someone around even if they are busy with their own life.
Kitty

 

[maddythebeagle]

Do you have any family members (sisters or brother) that you could share a household with? That seems to be common from what I see.

 

[Michael Moore]

Have you done any googling on communal living situations? I think there is an active, though maybe small, group of people advocating that lifestyle, especially for those who are getting into those "golden years".

It does make a lot of sense, but then the only roommate I've had has been sharing quarters with me for just under 26 years.

A sort of hostel-type arrangement that let everyone have separate living/bathing facilities and a shared kitchen dining room (with probably some facilities in the living quarters for ad hoc food preparation) is what I've read about. It was also a multigenerational facility.

As with all shared facilities, you've got to have provisions for voting someone off the island if they just don't work out.

cheers,
Michael

 

[dex]

pchpie,
I remember an article about an Ellijay, Ga. community where it is something like communial living. Everyone has their own house but live in close proximity.
Ellijay is not as urban as Athens.
I live in Smyrna.
Good luck.

 

[eridanus]

Google co-housing.

 

[tozz]

Dunno if a golden girls set-up is for everyone, but some sort of communal/social set-up could be a welcome orientation for the newly retired.  For the single/newly single folk out there, water cooler socializing at work, such as it is, serves a function.  I suspect much of the apprehension and angst hinting about this forum (from some posters, maybe even myself) is related to the simple fear of being alone.  With or without a significant other.

 

[preben]

I could see myself in a house together with 3-4 20-something year old girls .

 

[haha]

Most large cities and many college towns have group homes of various sizes and types. I have done it several times post college, including once after I was married, in Berkeley, CA. I just tried to be sure that the other men in the house were all gay. By that, I mean all the men were 100% gay.

I have even known a few couples with children who live in group homes, usually with one other family with children. They seemed satisfied.

You obviously give up a lot of privacy. In return you get some company, some money saving, get introduced to a lot of the friends of your housemates.

I think it can be pretty nice.

Ha

 

[lb]

I have a good friend about my age (tho not retired yet), and we talk about sharing a two family house when we get older, as we are both single and don't have any family around. I figure when I can't handle the snowblower any more, it will be time to think about it. I also think about moving to a city (I'm near Boston), just so I can give up a car and still be able to get around.

After seeing how my mother and other elderly friends stayed by themselves in their big houses, let them fall apart and then, being in the suburbs, not leave the house very often (they won't pay $1-2 for the local senior bus!), it has made me rethink the old standard of staying in your current house till the end.

I don't know if I would want to try it with someone I didn't know. I do value my privacy and am very used to living by myself, so I would still want that type of
situation.

 

[haha]

I have a good friend about my age (tho not retired yet), and we talk about sharing a two family house when we get older, as we are both single and don't have any family around. I figure when I can't handle the snowblower any more, it will be time to think about it. I also think about moving to a city (I'm near Boston), just so I can give up a car and still be able to get around.

You don't mention your age, but one thing to consider is that these sorts of changes are often best done a bit early, rather than a bit late. Then you are more flexible and energetic to deal with whatever challenges and adjustments there may be.

Ha

 

[Martha]

I had two great aunts who never married and lived together until one died and the other went into assisted living. One was the crabby, scary aunt and the other the friendly, loving aunt. The arrangement seemed to work very well for them, despite the personality differences. They always were respectful of each other. Lived in a nice little house they owned together.

My sister and I joke about living together in our old age if our DHs are gone. I get to be the crabby scary aunt.

 

[MJ]

My sister and I joke about living together in our old age if our DHs are gone. I get to be the crabby scary aunt.

Not you Auntie M.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Urban communal living arrangements (or call them what you will) have been popular for decades in Portland, Oregon, and Seattle (and other parts of), WA. (These being almost main-stream societies, as opposed to Haight Ashbury.) Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin lived that way in Seattle. (See their book here: http://www.retireearlyhomepage.com/rebooks.html )

These arrangements have been in the local Portland press every once in a while. There must be web-accessable articles on this.

Come to think of it, I have been living in a rooming house environment for over a year. You need enough space and privacy for yourself, and compatible, respectful roommates (which is the biggest problem). The more roommates you have to deal with, the more difficult this becomes. Pick the roomies first.

Ed

 

[TromboneAl]

My grandmother lived with a female friend for at least the last 20-30 years of her life. There was never any indication of whether she was gay or not. But that relationship worked fine as far as I could see.

 

[maddythebeagle]

.......not that there is anything wrong with that.....

 

[unclemick]

Longview, WA - an old wooden hotel - built circa late 1930's or 40's - to house loggers and such - Pres of local woodworkers union retired - him and wife ran it quasi low cost communially(men and women) - helped suppliment his pension/SS - AND keep his plane up - went back to the old sod in July 1980 - and got a flying tour of St. Helens until they buzzed us off - same union my dad worked for.

Les and his wife had been doing that since at least my high school(1961) days. Put him at late 70's early 80's back then - still chipper and still flying(1980). Gone now though.

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Unclemick,

I haven't been back to Longview since I got married (30 years). I was once a member of a union out there--the Association of Northwest Pulp and Paper Workers (or something like that). Was that the right name?

Gypsy,
with moss between the toes.