DustyMom
Dryer sheet aficionado
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2012
- Messages
- 29
Wow, I guess my situation really hit a nerve with a lot of you. Thank you so much for the advice and the support. I think I really needed to hear that we should not feel guilty for not wanting to offer up the "riches" we've accumulated through aggressive saving and living below our means over many years.
I want to rectify the impression that I may have given that these relatives are spendthrifts or deadbeats. I think their main problem has been getting in over their heads with a house back in the early 2000's. They've struggled to make the payments and in the process have neglected other debts which have continued to snowball. We did some searching of public records online last night and were dismayed (to put it lightly) at the extent of the problem. We are confident now that there is no way for us to help them out of the hole. I'm not even sure if they've admitted to themselves how bad the problem is (and I'm not even thinking of the hospital bills here). Outwardly they give the impression that they almost have it under control, just need a little help past a rough patch. I also think bankruptcy is their only option. We are meeting with them tonight (not looking forward to it) and we'll see if they actually have an action plan or it they are just waiting to find out if any of the various feelers that they've put out will result in a savior.
It is so painful because it is family that we love and dearly wish we could help, but we can't contribute to a lost cause.
Thank you all again for sharing your situations. We have to believe that they can emerge from these dark times in a better place, but I'm not sure they will be believing that anytime soon.
I want to rectify the impression that I may have given that these relatives are spendthrifts or deadbeats. I think their main problem has been getting in over their heads with a house back in the early 2000's. They've struggled to make the payments and in the process have neglected other debts which have continued to snowball. We did some searching of public records online last night and were dismayed (to put it lightly) at the extent of the problem. We are confident now that there is no way for us to help them out of the hole. I'm not even sure if they've admitted to themselves how bad the problem is (and I'm not even thinking of the hospital bills here). Outwardly they give the impression that they almost have it under control, just need a little help past a rough patch. I also think bankruptcy is their only option. We are meeting with them tonight (not looking forward to it) and we'll see if they actually have an action plan or it they are just waiting to find out if any of the various feelers that they've put out will result in a savior.
It is so painful because it is family that we love and dearly wish we could help, but we can't contribute to a lost cause.
Thank you all again for sharing your situations. We have to believe that they can emerge from these dark times in a better place, but I'm not sure they will be believing that anytime soon.