Ridiculous online financial advice column questions

[CSdot]

Like many here I enjoy reading online financial advice columnists as part of my research on how to best manage my money so I can FIRE.

In reading these online financial advice columns it hit me that someone should pull together a collection of the most ridiculous online financial advice questions for our enjoyment. From the truly clueless, to the obvious humble brag, to the "this really has to be a joke."

I'll start. From Marketwatch, under the "this really has to be a joke" category:

60 year old Portland resident wants to move to the East Coast. His demands include a multicultural GATED community with golf, boating, tennis, oh and "educated" people.

He would like to 'invest' between $500,000 - $700,000 in this estate, but (since he is moving from a more well heeled part of the country) is willing to go as low as $400,000. He would like his adult children to join him so they can work from home.

He has excluded the states of GA, FL or SC from his search because of the "people, culture and politics." He talked to 10 real estate agents in the Carolinas about "Sea Pines and Palmetto Dunes in Hilton Head, Thistle Golf Club and Elk River Club in North Carolina and Kiawah Island in South Carolina," but they were too dense to understand his needs.

Where should be move?

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/w...-where-should-we-go-11637341723?mod=home-page

 

[Sojourner]

While I agree that some of the questions posed in these financial advice sites can be somewhat absurd, I'm not sure what it is about this particular one that strikes you that way. I find the scenario, as laid out fully in the original question on the MarketWatch site, to be quite plausible. The only thing that seems odd about it is that the person actually wants to move from the West coast to the East, and that his grown adult children (apparently) will move with him. Unless it's financially motivated, I would think he'd obviously be happier staying on the West coast given his cultural/educational/political preferences.

 

[yhoomajor]

I think most reader letters on Marketwatch.com are fake. Probably curated by employees.

 

[rothlev]

I think most reader letters on Marketwatch.com are fake. Probably curated by employees.

such a convoluted story is not made up.

 

[GrayHare]

Sounds plausible to me that someone could be seeking that. Given your quote emphasis, are you indicating you feel a desire for a "gated" community containg "educated" people is unreasonable?

 

[disneysteve]

I’m not seeing what is implausible about this question.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

Seems plausible to us. We looked for Gated Communities with well managed HOAs too when we moved to Florida. But Climate was high on our list, no snow and that ruled out most mid coast states. Budget is also plausible, as the higher one goes the chances of being alongside professionals is also higher. BUT, all the asking in the world will not tell you what you need to know. Ther is no substitute for Moving there, renting for a while and doing one's own due diligence. MMDV

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

His demands include a multicultural GATED community with golf, boating, tennis, oh and "educated" people.

And just who is this gate supposed to keep out?! Multi-cultural and gated tend to be somewhat mutually exclusive. It's got to be hard to be so open-minded and yet feel the need to lock out the undesirables.

 

[GrayHare]

I've never considered multi-cultural and undesirables to be synonyms. AFAIK most gated communities are looking to reduce theft and increase security. Housing laws let anyone purchase within such communities.

 

[OldShooter]

I tell my Adult-Ed investment students to ignore all of that stuff, not just the questions. Too much of the advice is factually wrong and/or pretending to accurately forecast the future. If any of those people actually knew something useful they would not be chasing clicks for a living.

 

[disneysteve]

Multi-cultural and gated tend to be somewhat mutually exclusive.

What? One has nothing to do with the other. There are plenty of people other than old white guys who live in gated communities.

 

[disneysteve]

I've never considered multi-cultural and undesirables to be synonyms. AFAIK most gated communities are looking to reduce theft and increase security. Housing laws let anyone purchase within such communities.

Exactly. The gate keeps out uninvited visitors, sales people, criminals, etc. But anybody can live there.

 

[Mulligan]

And just who is this gate supposed to keep out?! [emoji23] Multi-cultural and gated tend to be somewhat mutually exclusive. It's got to be hard to be so open-minded and yet feel the need to lock out the undesirables.

Ha, yes, this is the most closed minded, open minded person I have heard about. At least I am consistent. Im just closed minded and fully aware of it. But, hey, I would never have a problem living in either of those 3 states, so maybe Im not as close minded as I think I am. [emoji4]

 

[Dtail]

Exactly. The gate keeps out uninvited visitors, sales people, criminals, etc. But anybody can live there.

Yep, this is true in our diversified gated non retirement community.

 

[disneysteve]

Ha, yes, this is the most closed minded, open minded person I have heard about.

What am I missing here? What is close minded about wanting to live in a safe diverse neighborhood?

 

[brett]

Free advice is often worth exactly what you pay for it.

 

[Amethyst]

That may be true, but perhaps the only places he can afford are currently on fire.

I would think he'd obviously be happier staying on the West coast given his cultural/educational/political preferences.

 

[CSdot]

That may be true, but perhaps the only places he can afford are currently on fire.

Literally.

The condescending attitude towards the people of FL, GA and SC by the Marketwatch poster was offensive, and his vision of east coast real estate being cheap was curious. Look up real estate prices on Kiawah Island, South Carolina, one of the properties he claimed the real estate agents "really don’t have a clue about" what he wanted, and see if you can find a house any where near his $400k - $700k price range.

 

[Mulligan]

What am I missing here? What is close minded about wanting to live in a safe diverse neighborhood?

My interpretation wasnt so much those two as it was dismissing 3 states of almost 50 million people as obviously being some monolithic person to avoid. It isnt very well hidden either. I mean this dude needs to look at his own state presidential heat map. 80% of the counties of Oregon voted red last presidential election despite its blue reputation. Every state has all types of people and cultures in it despite perceived attitudes and reputations.
But Im just humoring over it. People should do what makes them happy not anyone else.

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

My interpretation wasnt so much those two as it was dismissing 3 states of almost 50 million people as obviously being some monolithic person to avoid. It isnt very well hidden either. I mean this dude needs to look at his own state presidential heat map. 80% of the counties of Oregon voted red last presidential election despite its blue reputation. Every state has all types of people and cultures in it despite perceived attitudes and reputations.
But Im just humoring over it. People should do what makes them happy not anyone else.

Point taken. But I think you meant 72% of counties, not 80%. And people, not counties, vote, so not sure what your statistic has to do with anything.

 

[Mulligan]

Point taken. But I think you meant 72% of counties, not 80%. And people, not counties, vote, so not sure what your statistic has to do with anything.

Thats pretty good for me as I was just eyeballing. The point wasnt very prolific, it was only there are all sorts of people in all states including what he is in, and where he wants to go. And writing off 3 states from a perceived reputation that is very prevalent on a geographical basis of his own state seems ironic. But then again 8 counties in Oregon have voted to secede to join Idaho so maybe they arent happy so many of his type live in Oregon too, ha.
I find humor in this not angst. Reminds me of one of my buddies who moved to South Carolina. He was looking forward to leaving “red state politics”. You should have seen the look on his face when I laughed and told him he accomplished nothing moving there. So at least this guy researched better what he wanted than my buddy did, ha.
And I am not making this political at all. Just observing humor it in as I dont get worked up over this stuff, nor am I trying to agitate anyone over it.

 

[mrfeh]

I’m not seeing what is implausible about this question.

+1

Education level of the community and politics of the state/city are major factors for where I'd like to live.

 

[Amethyst]

I agree that real estate in almost any nice place has gotten extremely expensive of late.

Meanwhile, I think growing up in NJ hardened me to condescending comments about one's state. Now I live in FL, also the butt of every joke (often deservedly so), and I join in the fun.

Literally.

The condescending attitude towards the people of FL, GA and SC by the Marketwatch poster was offensive.

 

[Andre1969]

When I used to deliver pizzas, back in the late 90's, there was one one gated community in our delivery area. It was an apartment complex, and anything BUT upscale. It also didn't take long for the gate to start malfunctioning. I had a '79 Newport that I had rescued from a junkyard, so it wasn't exactly my prized possession (although I kinda wish I still had it) and I learned that if you gave the gate a gentle bump, it would open on its own.

Since those days, more gated communities have popped up in my area. However, most of them tend to be apartment complexes in crime invested communities.

So, something that used to be the symbol of an upscale, exclusive community, has suddenly been repurposed into a warning sign of a No Go Zone!

 

[VanWinkle]

I tell my Adult-Ed investment students to ignore all of that stuff, not just the questions. Too much of the advice is factually wrong and/or pretending to accurately forecast the future. If any of those people actually knew something useful they would not be chasing clicks for a living.

This^^^^^