ruminations on being debt-free in your 30's

[Nords]

From my (and DW’s) lower socio-economic reality, there was no time to "screw around". Decent j*bs were few, and opportunities to those that were raised in (declining) mill towns were even less so (along with uncle Sam knocking on your front door with an opportunity to participate in a paid vacation in SEA).
That may have been your situation (good for you, and I wish you well), but don't state it as a fact for the entire generation.

One of the most eye-opening books I've read about my "youth" was "The Way We Never Were"...

 

[GregLee]

One of the most eye-opening books I've read about my "youth" was "The Way We Never Were"...

After looking at some of the reviews, I think my own experience growing up in middle class America prejudices me against Coontz's thesis that the Leave-it-to-Beaver world of 50s family values never really existed. Because that was pretty much what my family was like (though there was little connection with religion). Well, my mother worked (did Beaver's mom?). Maybe a way to comprehend differences among several preceding posts is to suppose that family values have to be adequately funded. For times past and parts of America that were prosperous, we could approach the idyllic family life depicted in those 50s situation comedies.

 

[Nuiloa]

I am in the opposite situation. Always studied a lot, never really partied during my 20s or 30s. Never really had a long term girlfriend, only short term relationships. Now I regret some of these choices as I am alone most of the time. Managed to stay debt free all my life, made good money but give away quite a lot of charity work. Now being in my 40s, childless and alone, it sucks sometimes.

Your post almost makes it sound like you feel you have wasted time in some way.

Were they choices or were they just your natural self being you? In your 40s, have you turned into a party animal? As far as I'm aware, there's no cut-off age for being a partier. So the chances are good that the reason you didn't party in your earlier decades was that it didn't come naturally. If that's not true, well then get out there and go wild!

For years, I've felt like I'm on the outside looking in - not a partier, value intellectual rather than physical pursuits, etc. I'm alone, but definitely not lonely. The media, OTOH, seems to reinforce that unless you're at a party with a cold beer in your hands every night of the week, you are some kind of loser.

I would venture a guess that most of us were not partiers and I also suspect that quite a few of us lived/live vicariously through those we perceive as wild and crazy people, be they real or fictional.

If you feel being childless and alone sucks, then don't be. There are lots and lots of single people out there, with and without kids.

Or.... learn to appreciate the unique opportunity you have. Complete freedom to do what you want, when you want, and with no claims on your funds except for what you choose to spend them on. That would trump any amount of suckage, IMHO.