Saving Money is STUPID!!!

[ExFlyBoy5]

Sometimes I can't believe what some people say. Today's statement came from an aunt which told me, "Saving money is stupid!" Yes, you read that correctly.

Long story short, we have family that has come into town since my Dad's death is imminent. The dying part is certainly bad enough, but there is an aunt and uncle that NO ONE LIKES. While my Dad was still lucid, I told him that they (aunt and uncle) would be there soon, his exact words were. "Well, isn't that a pisser!" Honest to God...Dad said it best, and we ALL agree with that sentiment.

Anyway, I moved in with Dad about 3 weeks ago and said aunt and uncle showed up 7 days ago (not that I am counting) and it has been a living hell since. I could ramble for pages and pages, but I will spare the members that agony. What I *did* want to share was a discussion I had with the aunt this morning that absolutely floored me...

She made a comment about her son and daughter who each have AT LEAST two Starbuck's beverages a day...7 days a week. I mentioned something to the effect of that being a lot of money to which she said, "well, they work hard...might as well spend it". We talked a little more about spending/saving/etc. to which she ultimately said, "I don't get it about people who save money. There are no guarantees, so you should enjoy the money...and you can only do that by spending it. Saving money is stupid". I asked her to repeat it...and she did. At that point, I was speechless and changed the conversation to something about the weather or squirrels.

I have always known that there are folks out there who just really spend and don't save...but I have NEVER heard anyone say something so...um...ridiculous.

 

[JoeWras]

Dad was a saver and looked to the future. Dad also served on the front lines in WWII. He mentioned that is the only time everyone lived for the second. Saving? Nope. Prostitutes? Yep. Smoking? Why not. Etc.

He blames his time on the front lines for starting smoking.

But aunt pisser and your cousins are not on the front lines...

 

[pb4uski]

The saving grace is that given what your pisser aunt said you don't have to debate when to start SS or whether to pay off the mortgage!

 

[REWahoo]

The saving grace is that given what your pisser aunt said you don't have to debate when to start SS or whether to pay off the mortgage!

+1

But do NOT get her started on passive landording...

 

[Chuckanut]

I am curious. Just what does your aunt live on?

Obviously, it's not her savings. Right?

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I am curious. Just what does your aunt live on?

Obviously, it's not her savings. Right?

The uncle draws a decent pension and they both get SS. They certainly aren't "broke", but if they needed to come up with a significant amount of money, they would be S.O.L.

 

[W2R]

So sorry to hear that your father is dying, ExFlyBoy5.

As for others' attitudes towards spending money, I just smile and say nothing when they come out with crazy stuff like that. Then I handle my own money however I want to handle it.

To me, most people seem almost pathologically obsessed with consumerism. I lay the blame for that directly on Madison Avenue and all those ads that we are constantly subjected to every day. Maybe that is correct or maybe not. Anyway, I am pretty sure there is nothing I can do about others' attitudes towards money and spending.

 

[Sue J]

Anyway, I moved in with Dad about 3 weeks ago and said aunt and uncle showed up 7 days ago (not that I am counting) and it has been a living hell since.

They aren't staying with you at your Dad's, are they? I hope they are at least staying in a hotel and helping you somewhat.

I hope when your Dad comes to his end that it's peaceful for all of you.

You are a good son.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Your poor dad, having that around at this point in his life. You’re a good son.

DD told me a few years ago that I know when to save money and I know when to spend it. I think your aunt and her fam missed the first part of that.

 

[ivinsfan]

I'd stick with the squirrels and maybe think about asking them when they plan to leave.

 

[Nemo2]

To me, most people seem almost pathologically obsessed with consumerism.

Personally I encourage such behavior (in others)....I have investments, dontcha know.

 

[easysurfer]

Saving money is STUPID.

Synonymous with "Easy come, easy go" or "Money in the bank is money wasted."

I've know several folks who live by that philosophy .

 

[Chuckanut]

The uncle draws a decent pension and they both get SS. They certainly aren't "broke", but if they needed to come up with a significant amount of money, they would be S.O.L.

I am sorry for you loss. It is a blessing the he is not suffering.

It's at times like this that I am glad we have a SS system. In effect, it forced your aunt to at least save something for her future in spite of her foolish beliefs. If not, then she would probably be angling for a welfare check from a program she never paid into. All the stupid people who saved would have to pay for her being so smart.

Oh, did you Uncle contribute to his pension? Since that is a form of savings, he is obviously stupid by definition. Just sayin....

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

They aren't staying with you at your Dad's, are they? I hope they are at least staying in a hotel and helping you somewhat.

I hope when your Dad comes to his end that it's peaceful for all of you.

You are a good son.

Thank you for the thoughts. I told my Dad that it's the absolute least I can do since he did a pretty decent job of raising me. I am very thankful that I am retired...I have been able to help out for quite a while without having to worry about an employer.

So far, it has been a peaceful journey for him. His interactions with us have pretty much ceased, but he appears to be comfortable and since he hasn't had any liquid in 8 days, I can only assume that the end will be here sooner than later. I am very, VERY thankful that he is able to make this journey in the home...same as Mom. The last 6 months have been rough, but all in all...they both (as well as me) have been very lucky in that there have no falls, no ICU visits, no hospitalizations...for either one of them. Not a lot of kids get to say that about their parents.

As far as the aunt and uncle, they are staying at the house. Unfortunately for me, there are plenty of beds...so can't really tell them that they can't stay. Not only to mention, it's somewhat of an unknown when Dad will pass...and I know they would like to be here when it does happen.

One positive thing is that Dad will have a direct cremation with no service. So, as far as I am concerned...once he passes, they will have until noon the following day to get the hell out.

 

[Mdlerth]

Neither a borrower nor a spender be

To me, most people seem almost pathologically obsessed with consumerism. I lay the blame for that directly on Madison Avenue and all those ads that we are constantly subjected to every day. Maybe that is correct or maybe not. Anyway, I am pretty sure there is nothing I can do about others' attitudes towards money and spending.

Maybe you could take out an [-]ad[/-] public service announcement.

To the OP, sorry about your Dad. I hope his passing is peaceful for you both.

Too bad about the aunt. I think Benjamin Franklin said, "After 3 days, fish and guests smell."

 

[FlaGator]

Wonderful commitment to your father.

As to your aunt's sentiments - my dad lived that way. Based on family history, he figured he'd be dead by 60. He made it to 84 and was essentially broke for the last 20 years of his life.

 

[Texas Proud]

Sorry to hear about your dad....


Surprised about aunt... which side is she from? Anybody else (siblings) that think the same?


I guess she got lucky having a husband with a pension.... without him she is SOL...

 

[Gumby]

Saving money is STUPID.

Synonymous with "Easy come, easy go" or "Money in the bank is money wasted."

I've know several folks who live by that philosophy .

Maybe, maybe not. I've known more than a few people who adjust their philosophy to match their circumstances. For example, the guy who lost his drivers license for DUI now is evangelical about the health benefits of walking everywhere.

In this case, if the aunt has no savings, it could be because she never really made enough to save or because she always was a spendthrift but not self aware about it. In any event, she now has no savings, so it is more psychologically comfortable for her to expound the philosophy that "saving money is stupid."

Or it could be that she has always believed that. Who knows?

 

[kimcdougc]

Op you will be truly thankful you have had the time to spend with your dad on his last days on this earth. I was fortunate to be able to do that with my mom. Hope his passing is very peaceful and not too hard on you and your family.

As far as the aunt, maybe just a bag of wind about not saving. As long as she doesn't ask you for money, then so be it about her not saving statement.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

To me, most people seem almost pathologically obsessed with consumerism. I lay the blame for that directly on Madison Avenue and all those ads that we are constantly subjected to every day.

Advertisers have made excess consumerism the new normal for many people. It has been several years since this we really "got woke" on this and we are still continuing to find ways to reduce our consumption of just about everything.


Exflyboy5 - Sorry about your dad.

 

[kcowan]

I am not sure what your Dad meant by pisser. I suspect is is something along the lines of entering a room and pissing on everyone's conversation? It sounds like she enjoys expressing outrageous views to stimulate reaction.

Good luck with handling your Dad and my sympathies. MIL, Dad and Bro all passed in a similar fashion. Quickly and primarily painlessly. We were thankful.

 

[braumeister]

Or it could be that she has always believed that. Who knows?

Regardless, don't leave her alone in the room with your marshmallow.

 

[CaptTom]

I am not sure what your Dad meant by pisser.

Here's how I took it (link here):

Wicked Pissah
A slang phrase in the New England area; perhaps most frequently heard in Boston, whose closest meaning is "Awesome". However; the phrase is almost exclusively used in the sarcastic sense.

Anyway, sympathies to the OP. Sorry the Aunt is making things difficult.

I think the real issue here isn't that she lives that way, but that she is embracing it as a philosophy. We always think of people be "unable" to save, for whatever reason. Openly choosing not to, and bragging about it, seems counter-intuitive. One might even say, "stupid."

 

[athena53]

The uncle draws a decent pension and they both get SS. They certainly aren't "broke", but if they needed to come up with a significant amount of money, they would be S.O.L.

If they're dependent solely on SS and the pension, the survivor will likely be hurting when the first one dies as well- the household SS income will likely be reduced by 1/3 (going from Wage Earner + Spouse to Survivor benefits). If Uncle dies first, unless they selected a 100% Survivor benefit on his pension, the pension will reduce as well.

That's a blessing that you're able to be there in your father's last days. When DH died peacefully at home 2.5 years after I retired I was also glad to be there for him.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Pisser - https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=What a Pisser, as in I have just seen Tom trip over the yard brush "What a Pisser".