To buy happiness, purchase an experience

[Bestwifeever]

]

I think I will purchase some experience with a psychologist and learn why I can't trust my own ideas about what makes me happy.

 

[W2R]

To me this whole thing is kind of nutty. Bird watching is good, but watching a football game is not. Or maybe watching a football game in the stadium is good, but on your 50"TV where you can at least see the game and not freeze is not. What if I watch a football game, but at the same time row on my rower? Here I have not one but two expensive THINGS. Would I rather go to church service, where I participate in the service, than row and watch football? Sometimes, but often not.

Good point.

Generally, when someone on this forum says that they prefer buying experiences to things, I silently translate that to a defensive justification for travel - - a justification that is entirely unneeded as far as I am concerned. I don't like travel but if somebody loves to travel, more power to him or her! My goodness, wouldn't it be a boring world if we were all identical.

I happen to get bored watching other people do things, usually. American Idol doesn't count; I love that show! But, that is the exception, not the rule, for me.

I do love playing video games because I am a participant - - I am part of the action, I decide what to do next in the game, and my actions can determine the outcome of the game. While it may not be any more physically active than watching TV, still I do not feel so much like a somnolent lump on a log as when just passively watching TV for some reason.

BTW, please don't expect me to make any points or form any erudite conclusions here - - I am just musing out loud so feel free to skip this post entirely. Anyway, continuing on, when I watch a TV documentary that fascinates me I am looking up various aspects of the subject online while watching, so in a sense I am a participant there, too, at least to a small extent.

Either way. The TV that I bought this year cost about 3x as much as a gaming console, but then again I bought 3 gaming consoles this year and last. Whether video gaming or watching TV, something must be bought. In both cases one is inside and not physically active. I do think that I participate much more in video games than when watching TV, though, and I do prefer video gaming.

 

[eytonxav]

Either way. The TV that I bought this year cost about 3x as much as a gaming console, but then again I bought 3 gaming consoles this year and last. Whether video gaming or watching TV, something must be bought. In both cases one is inside and not physically active. I do think that I participate much more in video games than when watching TV, though, and I do prefer video gaming.

I think we need a thread on favorite video games. As for me, I would have thought I would love video games, but when I play a video game against anyone under 50, its game over in about 1 minute.

 

[Al in Ohio]

So "Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll" was all that was ever needed?

OK, older folks may remember the phrase as "Wine, Women, and Song"

Shakespeare and his homies died a long time ago!

 

[clifp]

All this was captured much better on my favorite T-shirt at no taxpayer expense.

Kimo's Hawaiian Rules

Never judge a day by the weather
The best things in life aren't things
Tell the truth - there's less to remember
Speak softly and wear a loud shirt
Goals are deceptive - the unaimed arrow never misses
He who dies with the most toys - still dies
Age is relative - when you're over the hill, you pick up speed
There are two ways to be rich - make more or desire less
Beauty is internal - looks mean nothing
No Rain - No Rainbows

 

[pb4uski]

This is one thing that my DW has definitely taught me over the years. Being cheap/frugal by nature I tended to miss out on great experiences by being cheap (i've happily slept in or under the car on trips on my own and lived on hot dogs and cheap beer) She taught me that its okay to spend when you're traveling and save when you're at home. The phrase we use is: are you going to miss that $100 when you get home or are you going to talk about that amazing meal, cool hotel or wicked concert for the rest of your life ?

+1 While we tend to be frugal at home we splurge more when we are on vacation - after all, we are on vacation!

 

[Al in Ohio]

How much you use or don't use it makes no difference in the definition of materialistic. Its how much you value the purchase compared to more important things in life. If you buy anything and feel a rush or major satisfaction that overshadows your family or friends or faith, it is being materialistic. Frequency of use is misunderstanding the problem.

 

[athena53]

Typically, memory works over time to minimize or exclude relatively minor negative experiences. For example, on our long adventure travel, the flights are often annoying, long, uncomfortable and just not that pleasant. But when I think back about this trip or that trip, I don't immediately recall or weight those things....I remember the amazing person we met, or the stunning scenery, or the food.

I agree. DH and I have always had something go wrong on our trips (sometimes multiple things). We just came back from a fantastic trip from Alaska where we spent our only day in a city port (the rest we anchored in the middle of nowhere) seeking help for an attack of gout DH had, and getting his prescription. What we remember is how many good people helped us, and seeing whales outside the window in our stateroom a few nights later. Or, from a great quote I just found: “Most travel is best of all in the anticipation or the remembering; the reality has more to do with losing your luggage.”

While we're definitely in the "experience" camp, it boggles my mind to see what excursions some people go for on cruises. Here's a list, which I copied from a brochure in Juneau:

• "Flightseeing" by helicopter, plus "sled dog experience"- $489
• Fishing- $160 + $20 for license
• Two hours of flightseeing by amphibious plane- $229
• Ziplining $175
• Taku Glacier Lodge and feast (Wild Alaska King Salmon), including flight- $280
• Walking tour- $45. (Mine was free. )

From what I read on a cruise enthusiast site, some people go for an excursion like this at every port. Now multiply it by 4 or 5 for family groups., and add tips!

DH and I are pretty selective when it comes to organized excursions such as this. We've taken some memorable ones (kayaking around Dubrovnik, private guides in St. Petersburg, Russia, a bus tour up to Corcovado in Rio), but we prefer to knock around on our own and take public transportation where possible.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

This thread reminds me of a lyric from the "Piano Man" from Billy Joel...

There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet
And I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes"

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

One more thought.

When growing up, my parents focused more on buying us (4 kids) experiences rather than the latest stuff. When we were old enough to travel (or close enough), we all piled into a motor home and traveled across the U.S., pretty much visiting all of the lower 48 states. You name it, we saw it. Yes, the time and distances between places were <boring> (at least from a kid's perspective), but card games, board games, the occasional movie (we had a TV rigged up), and other distractions made the time and distance pass by quickly.

I can't help but think what it would be like to do that with my two kids these days. Back then, my dad was the sole breadwinner, with my mother a SAHM. Unfortunately, DW and I have less time to "waste" between experiences (two high-pressure/high-paying careers). Flying is easier, and we can afford it, but you often miss many interesting places going from airport to airport.

We're taking our first driving vacation this coming week. A few hours north and west, along with a couple of hotel night stays. Lots to see in the area, but nothing that would rate anywhere near an "E" ticket ride at Disney. (Let's see how many people remember that!)

 

[athena53]

We're taking our first driving vacation this coming week. A few hours north and west, along with a couple of hotel night stays. Lots to see in the area, but nothing that would rate anywhere near an "E" ticket ride at Disney. (Let's see how many people remember that!)

I don't remember "E" tickets at Disney- not a fan of Disney, but I assume that was back before they instituted a single park entry fee for all rides.

DH and I have gradually gone back to car travel as I got more vacation days and that will increase now that I'm retired. Finally, getting there WILL be half the fun!

 

[robnplunder]

IMO, if materials bring happy experience, that counts. Listening to music on an high end system brings additional musical experience that can't be experienced otherwise. Ditto for watching a 3D movie on 4k UHD TV. In these cases, I am buying long term happy experience and the one time big money I spend pays for itself over time.

As I get wiser over time (disputable, I know), I've learned to spend money on materials things that will bring happiness over and over again. It does not have to be expensive, like a rocking chair. OTOH, it can be expensive and be enjoyed for a long time, e.g, my high end audio system is in its 12th year in my living room. It certainly isn't "expensive" if you divide the amount of happiness by time you had it. Ditto for house, and other "expensive" items that keeps on paying off.

Then there are items you buy, cheap or expensive, that gives one time gratification and be forgotten the next day. I do much better avoiding them these days.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I buy annual memberships in museums and gardens that belong to NARM, AHA and ASTC for ~$200 a year total, and that gets us into many of the major gardens and museums in our local area (plus the rest of the US if we travel) for free. Combined with library passes we can visit places like the Academy of Science, the Legion of Honor, the de Young museum, the state railroad museum, Asian Art museum, Chabot planetarium, the Oakland Zoo, the Exploratorium, tour the Hornet, see plays and much more all for just for the $200 membership costs. Plus our area has a lot of public parks, lakes, hobby clubs, meetup groups, beaches, bike trails, rivers for gold panning, public archery ranges, comedy shows, park events and gardens that are free or low cost.

So for under $200 in annual membership fees, a public library card, the cost of picnic lunches, plus gas are all we would really have to pay for what to us are pretty fun experiences for the year. The past year I received a garden membership with NARM and AHA privileges for a Christmas gift and I bought a planetarium membership with ASTC privileges for $39 with a half off Groupon offer and a $10 referral coupon.

For restaurants we usually eat out at lunch when prices are lower with a buy one get one free coupon from Entertainment books bought on sale, so that doesn't cost much more than eating at home.