What changes did you make when a parent died?

[lem1955]

My mother died in January. She was overtly very healthy up until a couple of months before though she had undiagnosed fourth stage cancer. When they finally got the diagnosis right, she died 3 weeks later. Now that I am beginning to recover from initial shock and grief I'm thinking a lot about what changes I should make to Advance Directive, Trust, ownership docs, etc. I'm curious about the legal, emotional, goal changes others have made after a first and then second parent has died. Please share.

 

[pacergal]

I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my second parent in 2015, and did nothing for about a year, on the advice from the good people here. I allowed time for grieving and spent time reflecting on our financial picture (and our health goals!)
Afterwards, spouse and I updated our wills, trusts, adv. directive and healthcare POA. We made sure all of our accounts were titled correctly for beneficiary and/or TOD.
It took two long years for parents estate to be settled, as their trust was not done correctly and we had to go through probate. It was a learning experience and I definitely met with a good estate attorney several times to make sure everything we had or did, was done right. Do not want my kids to go through that experience.

 

[easysurfer]

Lem, sorry to hear about your mom.

I was pretty much a workaholic before death of first parent. Made me reconsider important things in life. There always will be a workaholic (well, retire hard not work hard ) part in me (which isn't all bad). But that was the first family loss (besides family pet). Several years later, lost my other parent. Once again, made me reconsider how I look at things as not I was officially orphaned with no living parent.

What I do to keep their memories alive is think about what really good traits that they had and try to live in that way. My father had sense of adventure and a bit of a sarcastic sense of humor. My mom (like most moms, I'm sure) was the kindest person I ever knew. So, when possible I try to be kind towards others.

Losing any loved one, one never really gets over, but though cliche, time does help.

 

[MRG]

Snip
Afterwards, spouse and I updated our wills, trusts, adv. directive and healthcare POA. We made sure all of our accounts were titled correctly for beneficiary and/or TOD.

Very sorry for your loss. DW's parents went similar. He was fine and 90 days later he passed from cancer. She was fine, had an earlier scare from melanoma. Ninety days later she had passed. Melanoma came back with a vengeance.

Our actions were the same as Pacergal posted. I've also been encouraging DW to get yearly screening and be more careful about sun exposure.

 

[ncbill]

My mother died in January. She was overtly very healthy up until a couple of months before though she had undiagnosed fourth stage cancer. When they finally got the diagnosis right, she died 3 weeks later. Now that I am beginning to recover from initial shock and grief I'm thinking a lot about what changes I should make to Advance Directive, Trust, ownership docs, etc. I'm curious about the legal, emotional, goal changes others have made after a first and then second parent has died. Please share.

Advanced directive = the model health care POA for your particular state.

NOT a "living will" (language is usually too vague)

Please be as specific as possible, so your health care agent doesn't have to guess.

 

[scrabbler1]

Even though my mom passed away in 1995, it wasn't until 2008 when my brother, my dad, and I revamped my dad's will and added other estate documents such as POA, IAMT (Irrevocable Asset Management Trust), and HCP (health care proxy). Furthermore, doing that caused me to create my own will and similar estate documents.