Why are you frugal?

[intent]

I feel like the circumstances of my youth just sort of conspired to make me frugal. We lived in a rural location during my formative years and the main play activity for my friends and myself was to just go outside and play in nature. Build forts; play "baseball" using a broken branch as a bat, pine cones as the ball, and bushes or trees as the bases; football games with a nerf football; hiking and general exploring; that sort of thing. My parents gave me an allowance, but they didn't take me to the store very often, so I didn't really have much to spend it on, or much that I wanted (probably because I wasn't exposed to very many products). I had a happy childhood, so over time I think I came to the subconscious realization that I didn't need to buy things to have fun.

To this day, that seems to have stuck with me. I'm not necessarily actively frugal, I just don't feel a need to buy much.

 

[razztazz]

Idiot parents who didn't seem to know where babies came from and weren't able to plan more than 15 minutes into the future.
People who were always complaining about money but weren't interested in doing anything about it.

 

[aaronc879]

I grew up in a poor household with a lot of debt. I didn't want to struggle like that my whole life so I have lived very frugally my whole adult life. My average income in 21 years of working is only around $28,000/yr and that will likely not go up but I have lived on well under that and plan to continue to do so. I know I will not be physically able to work until traditional retirement age so I need to save all I can now to retire early.

 

[swakyaby]

I’m not frugal in many things, but I dislike waste, particularly when it comes to food. It always bothered me when food ends up spoiling in the refrigerator or going past it’s prime flavor, just because of my lack of planning. So much food wasted! Now that I’m retired, I have become more organized and do things like freeze smaller portions of bacon or smoked ham so that very little goes to waste. Dry goods such as flour or rice are kept in sealed containers so they stay fresher longer and less risk of pantry pests. It has become even more important now, with our less frequent trips to the grocery store.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I wasn't really raised to be frugal- in fact my family makes fun of me sometimes. My husband swears I was switched at birth. I was discussing it with my friends and one pointed out that I seem to have a cost benefit analysis program running in my head. I am completely willing to splurge on something I love and will use, but opposed to spending on something that will become clutter or that I don't really need. I have loosened up with every M we have crossed in the portfolio.

 

[atmsmshr]

We are not frugal when it's something we really want. Many would consider us spendthrifts in certain areas. Yet, frugality in other areas has allowed us to indulge the occasional spendthrifty urge.

Same for DW and myself - I call it 'bipolar frugal'.


No new cars for me and only one for DW - Slightly used cars purchased and I do all the wrenching except tires. Became a hobby. Used Mercedes - the parts are normally priced and the mechanic takes payment in beer.

Don't eat out often (not at all nowadays).

Vacations were usually combined with family trips and experiences.

Have done a LOT of upgrades DIY for our two homes.

Retirement planning DIY probably saved us more than I'll ever know.


OTOH - Built a custom house on the barrier island and no regrets.

Sent the kids to parochial schools till 9th grade.

Annual Disney passes.

Two boats to explore east coast of Florida.

Began to upgrade airline seats and rental cars / hotels about 5 years ago. (Not that there is much of a need for that nowadays)

And I bought a Rolex 3 years ago. Just because I wanted to.

 

[pacergal]

I grew up in what is now a "wealthy burb", we didn't have a lot of money, but had a roof over our heads, food in our belly and clothes on our backs. Ate a lot of beans, Mom made all of the girls clothes and some of the boys.
Both parents instilled a savings mantra in all of us. Dad was out of work a few times, but always had an emergency fund to pull us through. He landed his dream job when I was in high school and it was all uphill for them then. But they still lived frugally, Mom used coupons, shopped the specials and only bought things on sale. They were always generous with their time and money.
I learned quite a bit from them, and saved early/often.
I still shop sales and use coupons!

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

Frugality is my nature.

 

[John Galt III]

Were you born that way? Did you teach yourself? Did you do it to overcome mistakes or to achieve a goal? Who were your frugal role models?

To achieve a goal. Parents taught me 'deferred gratification'. Also taught me that w*rking hard and making as much money as you could, legally, were a must. But I feared and loathed and hated w*rk and the responsibility required to earn lots of money. I did it anyway, and found pride and self-respect in the hard w*rk and earning. But the fear and loathing remained (80 % percent of the time I hated w*rk, 20% of the time it was actually fun). So my answer to your question is I became frugal in order to save enough money to respectably buy my way out of w*rking for a living, (not going on welfare or mooching off a relative) and all the huge negatives that go with w*rking. I still feel some guilt for being non-productive member of society, but I can live with it, I guess, lol.

 

[tb001]

I don't consider myself frugal, but I am definitely cheap. I have no issue spending on things I know we'll appreciate and use daily, quality pieces or experiences we'll remember, though I do have a hard time with high end travel. I will always shop around for the best price I can find or look for an item used first. And I really dislike spending any money on things I don't love. Our house is almost entirely furnished with used furniture because I want good quality stuff, but both DH and I are too cheap to buy it new.

That said, I was raised on a farm with a DIY attitude. I have a very hard time paying people to do something I can do myself. And I've hired enough people to do work that I know how much you pay someone doesn't necessarily correlate to the job they do.

I would consider DH frugal, though he will spend much more money on travel and house than I would. And he will pay people to do things he doesn't want to do. He just doesn't buy much. We were in our late 30s/early 40s when we met and I don't think he had ever bought a towel, plate or anything household related. Pretty much his entire house was purchased by his mom as gifts over the years, with the exception of a few pieces of furniture.

We both spend on good food, but it's harder and harder to spend big $ at restaurants when we can make food we think is better at home.

ETA that I always found it easier to save by making more money than being extremely frugal.

 

[MRG]

Today we spend on things we want.

My parents, both born in 17, lived through a lot. Dad's father was orphaned at age 5 and he died in 29 just before the depression started. My father's memories of not enough food or shelter were part of my upbringing. I had those things but it was very clear they could not be taken for granted.

Wife and I married young with no real skills or career opportunities. We were definitely poor for many years and took advantage of any opportunities to improve our lives. We're very fortunate to be able to enjoy our lives.

 

[RobbieB]

I was frugal to build up a retirement stash.

Now that I'm retired it's time to Blow that Dough!

 

[street]

Parents that lived through the depression years and wars. Very hard times when my parents grew up and very poor living conditions. Those times molded my parents and was handed down to me to save, not to waste, reuse, work hard and always strive for excellence.
Learned to invest things that we had or could get free to make out life better without spending a fortune to acquire the same results.
I was taught frugal and so glad and a blessing I was brought up that way. I have so much more appreciation for life and earthly things from being taught frugal.

 

[chilkoot]

I can relate to several posts made so far (particularly that of samm). But one incident from early on stands out in memory...
One time when I was very young I accompanied my parents to the grocery store. I decided I really needed a $1 sticker book and asked my parents to buy it for me. My dad offered to loan me the $1; I didn’t really get the concept but if saying Yes was what it took to get the stickers then so be it.
When we got home he presented me with a repayment schedule, an eye-opening experience. Ever since, the idea of taking out a loan had a negative connotation and I avoided it whenever possible.

 

[Amethyst]

It seems a little mean to spring the lesson on you like that, when you clearly didn't understand what you were getting into. I bet it made you more cautious about accepting offers without researching them first

My dad offered to loan me the $1; I didn’t really get the concept but if saying Yes was what it took to get the stickers then so be it.
When we got home he presented me with a repayment schedule

 

[WyomingLife]

Sadly, I came to appreciate the financial nuts and bolts of FI (e.g., 4% rule) only in my late 40’s, but DW and I have always been debt adverse and cautious with money.

For me, I watched my father as he was forced into early retirement in his 50’s from the steel industry. I was in college at the time. It was jarring to receive that call.

Anyway, from that point on I decided to try as best I could to have life’s major financial commitments behind me by age 50. Compared to my male peers, I had children relatively young (as I didn’t want to be 60 years and trying to put kids through college). I wanted to be mortgage free by age 50. I picked a career that didn’t depend upon corporate overlords. As an ultimate career back-up plan, I learned a trade on the side along the way (DW and I are serious DIY’ers). Materialistic things never interested me — I have zero interest in new cars, new homes, new clothes. We bailed on HCOL and moved to LCOL.

Anyway, I have tried to live my life on the assumption that a financial calamity could befall me in my 50’s. We somewhat have been preparing for Armageddon for 35 years. We never expected it to actually arrive.

 

[Markola]

These are all such interesting stories to me.

 

[target2019]

I turn off the light switch. That is probably one thing that defines frugality for me. Mother was poor during the Great Depression, and was frugal. She picked up coal from the train tracks, it was like that for her family. My Father was educated and had white collar jobs. That put enough on the table for his family of seven. What I recall is many hand me downs.

Some brothers were spendthrift later in life, and liked to show off. That wasn't me.

 

[DrRoy]

I was frugal to build up a retirement stash.

Now that I'm retired it's time to Blow that Dough!

This is pretty much me, too.

 

[Pellice]

This is pretty much me, too.

I grew up in a frugal household (Depression-era parents), then I was a poor student for a long time, then I was saving hard for retirement. I had about 18 months of feeling rich - spending what I considered a lot - before this crisis hit. I can go back to poor student living for a few months. Then I'll reassess again.

 

[ER Eddie]

I'm frugal because I've detached myself, as best I can, from a concern about what others think about me, influences of peer groups, media, and advertisement. I can't claim to be free of all those things, but as I've become more psychologically independent of these forces, my "need" to buy stuff has dropped off.

 

[iloveyoga]

This is a good thought provoking thread. I am not always frugal, but I have always been a saver first. In thinking about this, I learned the saving practice mostly from my career in financial services/pension administration. Even when we had very little in our early years, we saved first, it was a habit that stuck.

 

[kgtest]

I was not born this way but parents definitely had something to do with it.

In my teenage years I had no clue the value of a dollar. Really not until I got into my mid 20s. I didn't become really "frugal" until bigger goals came along like wanting a home, family etc. I realized I had to sacrifice pointless wants for needs.

I think a big turning point for me was when I quit drinking. Swapping one liquid for "liquidity" opened my eyes to possibilities.

Another turning point someone on ER forum said "Never pay retail" That resonated with me and now it is kinda a game, there is the sticker price, and then the price I am WILLING to pay.

 

[Nemo2]

Another turning point someone on ER forum said "Never pay retail" That resonated with me .

It resonated with me too.....it's almost 44 years ago since I heard the lady say it, and it found a comfortable corner and settled into what passes for my brain.

 

[athena53]

For me, I watched my father as he was forced into early retirement in his 50’s from the steel industry. I was in college at the time. It was jarring to receive that call.

<snip>

Anyway, I have tried to live my life on the assumption that a financial calamity could befall me in my 50’s. We somewhat have been preparing for Armageddon for 35 years. We never expected it to actually arrive.

My story is similar; Dad was "demoted" from his job managing a district of a large steel company when he was 54. He and Mom landed on their feet- they'd always been savers. They moved to Myrtle Beach, Dad tried his hand at being a stockbroker, became disillusioned for many reasons, and even tried a short stint managing another steel company that was circling the drain. He couldn't prevent it. Mom died in 2016 and Dad is 89 and failing- likely to be moved to a skilled nursing facility after he gets out of rehab due to a stroke over Easter weekend. The resources are there- my siblings in the area have identified a good place and are not frantically searching for a place that accepts Medicaid (he doesn't qualify and we're happy about that).

So- it was an early lesson that you cannot assume that you'll be employed as long as you want to work. I ended up retiring at 61 when politics got toxic. It was a very good decision.

My spending is the "bipolar" type described earlier. I can be a real skinflint in areas that don't matter much to me: clothing (I have plenty, why buy more?), cars (buy used, maintain them, keep till no longer reliable), cleaning my own house and mowing my own lawn. I save my money for Business Class plane tickets and small-ship cruises. Right now that's all on hold, of course.