Nonetheless she is still very dependent on me and wants constant attention and will go to any end to get it. She is a manic depressive, and tries her very best to bring you right down there with her. I am constantly running up there to take her to her to her numerous doctors appointments, do her shopping or the multitude of other stuff she can come up with, and of course the visits. (You are thinking "What a horrid daughter" at this point.)
However, if I had to paint a word picture of her, I would have to say she is narcissistic, conniving, deceptive, manipulative, a drama queen and I believe incapable of loving. I guess it's safe to conclude she is not a nice person by most peoples standards. Certainly not someone I'd chose to have in my life by choice. It's a difficult thing to say that you don't like your mother, no less love her. But it is what it is and all the wishing in the world won't make it different.
Believe me I have tried many tactics with her to try and change the interaction, and have had some limited success but always short lived. For as many times as I have drawn that line, she has crossed it.
I would like very much to be able to develop this "emotional detachment" you refer to, but have failed miserably so far.