Honestly, I think they should make prenups *mandatory* for all marriages. Marriage by definition is a *contract*, and good contracts tell you what happens if the thing falls apart. If you can't have an "adult" conversation about what the obligations or expectations you have of one another if the marriage should dissolve, then you aren't ready for marriage.
Anyone who's nervous about this sort of conversation has obviously never asked the "hard questions" when dating:
1. How much debt do you have? What's your plan to pay it off?
2. Do you want kids?
3. If yes, does one of us stop working if we have kids? How do we decide?
4. Will you support me financially for the rest of my life if I stop working?
5. If we part ways, how will assets be distributed?
Even a couple in their 20s with nothing may have a tough time with #3 & #4. Anyone who answers yes to #3, better be answering yes to #4 as well, and be willing to get that inked in writing -- you'd be surprised how many people think they can ask somebody to give up their career and then not support them for the rest of their life. Don't like that arrangement? Then you'd better have amazing parents or afford a nanny.
In addition, you'd be surprised how pin-drop quiet the convo gets when the male partner volunteers to stay at home with the kids and be financially supported for the rest of his life. Strange how that is.
Anyone who's nervous about this sort of conversation has obviously never asked the "hard questions" when dating:
1. How much debt do you have? What's your plan to pay it off?
2. Do you want kids?
3. If yes, does one of us stop working if we have kids? How do we decide?
4. Will you support me financially for the rest of my life if I stop working?
5. If we part ways, how will assets be distributed?
Even a couple in their 20s with nothing may have a tough time with #3 & #4. Anyone who answers yes to #3, better be answering yes to #4 as well, and be willing to get that inked in writing -- you'd be surprised how many people think they can ask somebody to give up their career and then not support them for the rest of their life. Don't like that arrangement? Then you'd better have amazing parents or afford a nanny.
In addition, you'd be surprised how pin-drop quiet the convo gets when the male partner volunteers to stay at home with the kids and be financially supported for the rest of his life. Strange how that is.
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