Wine protects against radiation!

Keep a bottle on your granite countertop and take a sip for protection everytime you walk by.
 
A good bottle of wine and a tin foil hat should get us through this market calamity just fine!
 
I confess to being a wine neophyte. However, in almost 20 years, I have decided I like Merlot, and have been seeking a Merlot which is not too dry. For the past two months, I have bought up samples from each Merlot I see in Sam's Club and consume each sample bottle within 5-6 days, usually with dinner I have not found my perfect Merlot, yet. Any recommendations so I can protect myself from radiation, and enjoy it, too? Oh yes, something below $15/bottle preferred.
 
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