Worried sick over UPENN student

[Luck_Club]

Over the past 1.5 years I'm becoming increasingly worried about her safety. My daughter is attending UPENN, great she's "wicked smart". However, is it worth it if she gets killed or hurt really badly?

She is in a medical program and needs to visit hospitals over the next 2.5 years, probably with increasing frequency. The first hospital assigned is in the worst section of Camden NJ, where the entire city has a 1 in 50 chance of becoming victim of violent crime.

Should I pull her and force her into another school? Local would be a very safe option, Georgetown is another, but I bet they will send her to Anacostia, DC.

 

[38Chevy454]

Does she have any say over the locations? I am sure that not every single med student in the class goes to Camden NJ. So how about she ask for a different location that does not have the safety concerns for a single female?

 

[ivinsfan]

Over the past 1.5 years I'm becoming increasingly worried about her safety. My daughter is attending UPENN, great she's "wicked smart". However, is it worth it if she gets killed or hurt really badly?

She is in a medical program and needs to visit hospitals over the next 2.5 years, probably with increasing frequency. The first hospital assigned is in the worst section of Camden NJ, where the entire city has a 1 in 50 chance of becoming victim of violent crime.

Should I pull her and force her into another school? Local would be a very safe option, Georgetown is another, but I bet they will send her to Anacostia, DC.

Force her,how would you plan on doing that? Just curious.

 

[Cayman]

That's a tough one, Luck_Club - and those are lousy odds. How does she feel about the risk? Discussing your concerns with her and listening to her view is a good starting point, if you haven't already. If she ultimately remains in a program that requires work in a high crime area, you may see if she can work daylight hours and whether there is a security escort available to and from the parking lot (assuming it is a hospital and she will drive her car).

 

[bclover]

ok let's calm down. Philadelphian here. first, U of Penn is a great school and Philly is a great city. Yes it is a big city with big city problems but we are not running amok.

Next Camden's crime rate has improved dramatically over the last 3 years and if she is at Cooper she is not in the worst area of the city.

Stress the need for her to practice smart city safety at all times and she'll be fine

ps. where did you get those statistics? i'm in Camden darn near 4x's a week and never had any issues??

Area vibes puts it closer to 1 in 200


http://www.areavibes.com/camden-nj/crime/

 

[Luck_Club]

Force her,how would you plan on doing that? Just curious.

Those that pay make the rules..

Though I would pay dearly for it.

 

[Luck_Club]

ok let's calm down. Philadelphian here. first, U of Penn is a great school and Philly is a great city. Yes it is a big city with big city problems but we are not running amok.

Next Camden's crime rate has improved dramatically over the last 3 years and if she is at Cooper she is not in the worst area of the city.

Stress the need for her to practice smart city safety at all times and she'll be fine

ps. where did you get those statistics? i'm in Camden darn near 4x's a week and never had any issues??

Area vibes puts it closer to 1 in 200Camden, NJ Crime Rates & Statistics

Stats came from neighborhood scout:
https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/nj/camden/crime


Thanks for the reassurance, and local reference.

It is daylight hours, but I'm concerned they will continue to push the envelope on her safety. Like most kids who grew up in a bubble, she has virtually no smart city practices, and thinks she is invincible. We requested she take the safety course offered by the school, and she didn't.

Being a very strong, confident, and quiet kid, we only found out because she wanted to take my car back to school in the winter? Something about ride sharing. There will be about 8 kids at a time going to cooper.

It is my baby girl, and not a statistical odd. I also fear she doesn't have the lets blend in and not stick out concept, and could be seen as a target.

There are other locations, and she requested a safer one (on campus), but that was rejected.

 

[socca]

Those that pay make the rules...

Parenting 101 (for adult children): make "I" statements rather than "you" statements:

OK: "I am worried that ..."

Not OK: "You will do this ..."

Good luck!

 

[Ologist]

I second what bclover wrote. Both our girls graduated from Penn and the older one went to med school at Jefferson. BTW she had clinical rotations in Camden. They both got excellent educations and now live in DC and NYC.

Robbery and assault could happen in the best of neighborhoods. When do we as parents stop worrying. Unfortunately never, but common sense should prevail.

I certainly would not try to force her into another school!

Also we can protect our offspring only for so long.

 

[Aerides]

The things and places I got involved in during college would have terrified my parents. The risks I took in HS...they would not have let me go to college!

They didn't know and we all turned out ok.

 

[sheldon cornped]

I understand exactly how you feel. Certainly you can find places that are statistically safer than others. Our son is a 3rd year computer science student at UC Berkeley. City of Berkeley is the Mecca for homelessness. I don't see how anyone can feel safe, day or night, walking the streets. And you can watch live riots and protests on tv. The several times we have visited made us feel extremely uncomfortable. Always watch your backside. The key is to practice all personal safety rules and always try to have someone accompany you especially if female. Try to trust her judgement in such situations and she will be just fine. And congratulations to her and her achievements and you for being a caring parent.

 

[FlaGator]

The things and places I got involved in during college would have terrified my parents. The risks I took in HS...they would not have let me go to college!

They didn't know and we all turned out ok.

+10

And it made for some interesting stories at family dinners when I got into my 30s. Figured the statute of limitations had run out by then

 

[haha]

+10



And it made for some interesting stories at family dinners when I got into my 30s. Figured the statute of limitations had run out by then

Is there also a statute of limitations for relationship indiscretions?

50 years or so?

 

[savory]

Having lived and worked in various towns with "high crime rates", I am convinced that the ' suburban' perception is way off base. It is not to say one should not be more careful. It is disappointing your daughter did not take the safety class as there would have been some helpful information. Common sense however will go a long way.

 

[chris2008]

Safety classes are sometimes offered by police depts.
I took one in my 40s and learned a lot about the dos and donts of suburban life.
We were also assured to take statistics with a grain of salt.

 

[Nemo2]

 

[Dash man]

ok let's calm down. Philadelphian here. first, U of Penn is a great school and Philly is a great city. Yes it is a big city with big city problems but we are not running amok.

Next Camden's crime rate has improved dramatically over the last 3 years and if she is at Cooper she is not in the worst area of the city.

Stress the need for her to practice smart city safety at all times and she'll be fine

ps. where did you get those statistics? i'm in Camden darn near 4x's a week and never had any issues??

Area vibes puts it closer to 1 in 200


http://www.areavibes.com/camden-nj/crime/

+1

 

[bclover]

Stats came from neighborhood scout:
https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/nj/camden/crime


Thanks for the reassurance, and local reference.

It is daylight hours, but I'm concerned they will continue to push the envelope on her safety. Like most kids who grew up in a bubble, she has virtually no smart city practices, and thinks she is invincible. We requested she take the safety course offered by the school, and she didn't.

Being a very strong, confident, and quiet kid, we only found out because she wanted to take my car back to school in the winter? Something about ride sharing. There will be about 8 kids at a time going to cooper.

It is my baby girl, and not a statistical odd. I also fear she doesn't have the lets blend in and not stick out concept, and could be seen as a target.

There are other locations, and she requested a safer one (on campus), but that was rejected.

Totally understand, I have two sons who are grew up in two major cities (New York and Philly) and there are days where I say to myself "He can't really be that stupid can he?" after the stunts they pull.

so the first thing I would do is definitely try to get her "safety" smart. this maybe an area where you can pull the "mom card".

Some times I tell my son's..."you want me off your back about this? this is what I'd like for you to do".



lol, Now as far as blending in? Please believe me mom, there is absolutely no "norm" anymore. Last Saturday I actually was at the U of Penn Vet's hospital for my pooch and there was a guy on the corner of Walnut and 33rd dressed as JESUS. not talking about just long hair. I'm talking about robes, sandals, rosary beads around his waist, standing in front of a big wooden cross. Now of course he had a gimmick but the point is Philly is an extremely diverse city especially around Penn/Drexel campus and center city.

I actually went to culinary school not far from Penn in West Philly . the restaurant school at walnut hill college.


Are you guys going to visit? can you have her show you where she'll be travelling normally? this way you could possible point out some potential issues.

How does she get to Cooper from Philly? The high speed line is usually the easiest and safest, the issue she will have is the last stop on the High speed line is I think 16th and Walnut and she'll have to hike to Penn.

Ride sharing is a great option. She'll have a 5.00 toll over the Ben Franklin bridge and Cooper has a parking garage. Cooper is literally a shout away from the bridge so she won't have to drive through the "hood" of Camden. once off the bridge, hard right and she'll be in the middle of Rutgers Univ and Cooper.

The parking garages are public so once again here is where you may want to suggest, "hey hon, if you're going to the car at 1 am make sure you use the Cooper escort service". things like that.

 

[marko]

ok let's calm down. Philadelphian here. first, U of Penn is a great school and Philly is a great city. Yes it is a big city with big city problems but we are not running amok.

Next Camden's crime rate has improved dramatically over the last 3 years and if she is at Cooper she is not in the worst area of the city.

Stress the need for her to practice smart city safety at all times and she'll be fine

+1 I know it's one's child and you never stop parenting/worrying but this reminds me of a good friend from Germany who's wife can't sleep--literally--any time he visits the US: "Everybody has guns and he's going to get shot and killed for sure". She even asked me one time how many people I know who've been shot. (errr...none)

 

[bclover]

Let me just add, I understand your reservations. random violence is horrible, my youngest son goes to Temple, I cringe when he tells me at 8pm he's going up to campus to watch the basketball game. lol, I swear inside I'm yelling..."hey why not wait until 2am and walk through North Philly" and don't get me started on kids and wearing those ear buds while walking.... at night.... in a major city.

Or better yet, the time my 2 girlfriends and I (or as my mother lovingly call us. "the 3 Mensa candidates) decided to try and hitch hike from Pittsburgh to Tennessee because Pitt was playing Tennessee in a football game. Problem was we were all from NYC and had no clue which way Tennessee was from Pennsylvania. My dad picked us up, (after we got picked up by the Md state police) and just looked at my mom and said "we're wasting our money aren't we". lol

 

[Nemo2]

Basically, if you're not really aware (of the possibilities of a situation) you're not really prepared.......BTDT.

A course on 'Street Smarts' may well be the way to go.

 

[ncbill]

Large urban areas will have companies that offer "street smart" self-defense courses, often specifically for women.

If you're paying for her school you've got the leverage to insist she take those courses.

 

[donheff]

Having lived and worked in various towns with "high crime rates", I am convinced that the ' suburban' perception is way off base. It is not to say one should not be more careful. It is disappointing your daughter did not take the safety class as there would have been some helpful information. Common sense however will go a long way.

+1 Walking around at night with your head in your phone while tunes blast in your earbuds is a prescription for disaster pretty much anywhere. But people of all races, ethnicities, and genders walk around "sketchy" areas of cities without incident all the time. I have lived in DC for 35 years without incident and regularly ride in parts of Anacostia with my wife (mentioned above as a danger zone). Your daughter probably faces as much danger driving to the grocery store as going to a medical appointment in Camden.

 

[athena53]

It is daylight hours, but I'm concerned they will continue to push the envelope on her safety. Like most kids who grew up in a bubble, she has virtually no smart city practices, and thinks she is invincible. We requested she take the safety course offered by the school, and she didn't.

I think it would be reasonable for you to INSIST she take a good safety course. Maybe ordering her to go to school elsewhere is unreasonable and impossible, but this is a good step towards raising her awareness and giving you a little reassurance.

 

[Dash man]

You can buy her pepper spray to carry with her to help “just in case.” My DDIL carries at least two spray canisters, one in a pocket and one in an easy to reach place in her purse. She lived in downtown Philly, but has never had a problem.