FIREd @ 26, bored to absolute tears!

[indiajust]

Choose a tribe. Let them provide basic direction, while you provide the intellect and effort. MakerSpaces are a good place to dabble. INTJ read incessantly, just like I do. Hug the librarians. All of them.
I've become a big fan of the StrongTowns movement and Charles Marohn. The vast majority of small towns are on negative net worth fumes.
Map them, help them find the water shutoffs, make the town solvent again. Undo the subsidies zoning and regulations that cripple your community (once you find your tribe and accept their direction). Get to work!

 

[2lhasas]

If you have a passion for teaching young people about money, consider putting together a program you could teach as a camp or perhaps peddle to an organization like Boys & Girls Club. There are several money management camps offered in our area every summer. If you don’t want to develop your own project, maybe look for a camp that is already functioning and get on as an instructor with them.

Several people here mentioned hiking the AT. Maybe long distance backpacking isn’t your thing, but since you like to work with your hands and get outdoors, joining a trail club could give you something to do and allow you go to get out of the house. I volunteer with the Georgia Appalachian Trail Club, and we get out at least once a month to do trail maintenance. You can become a certified Sawyer or certify on a rock crew to learn higher level trail building skills. You can also get a mile assigned to you that becomes yours to monitor and maintain outside of larger scale projects. My husband thinks I’m nuts, but I like the work, I love to be outside, and it’s social but not in an over the top way. The clubs generally have a bunch of hikes you can join too if that’s something that interests you. I know that there is a club in Florida that maintains the 1300 mile Florida Trail if that might be something you wanted to try.

 

[PointBreeze]

OP, I think you should strongly consider the possibility that it isn't boredom that's making you depressed, but depression that is making you bored. As long as you have the time, and some money, why not find some psychological/ emotional help, and see what he or she might have to offer you.
37 is not necessarily to young to retire, but it's way to young to be bored.

I heartily agree. I suffered from a major depression 32 years ago, and you sound depressed to me.

 

[ER Eddie]

So at this point the boredom is getting intense, to the point of depression. ..... Miserable doing nothing, but contemporaneously don't want to do anything.

"Miserable doing nothing" stands out to me. That's not good -- to feel miserable when idle.

I noticed you said all of your motivation had been external -- i.e., gaining others' approval, status, impressing your dad. So then the task became shifting that motivation to intrinsic. And that's where you're stuck.

I see that as getting stuck in a developmental stage/task, moving from dependence to independence. Depression could be part of the problem, since depression does sap interest and motivation. But I think it's probably working the other way around, too. That is, the lack of a well-developed personal identity (e.g., not having a good sense of where your intrinsic motivation lies, what your true core values are, what feels meaningful and worthwhile to you, what you really want and like) -- that is contributing to, maybe causing, the depression.

It's hard not to feel down about yourself if you are 1) free, but 2) haven't developed the ability to "be a wheel rolling out of its own center," as Nietzsche put it -- to be self-determined and independent. If you weren't #1, weren't ER, and instead were strapped to the plow like most men -- working and slaving away to support a family -- then these wouldn't be issues for you. Your life would be basically programmed for you, full of tasks and responsibilities that left little room for exploring (or needing to explore) these sorts of questions.

But here you are. You were able to achieve VERY early retirement, and congratulations, but you achieved it before you had achieved or built the internal resources needed to use that freedom well.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people struggle with these issues. A LOT. They are just more in your face because you're so free. Most people don't encounter these issues so directly, because they have job or family buffering them. You don't. It's just you and your freedom. And unfortunately, you aren't quite prepared, developmentally.

That's not a bad thing. Everyone has developmental challenges in their life, which they choose to confront or avoid. I'd encourage you to think of this as life offering you an opportunity to learn/grow in intrinsic orientation, independence, knowing your core values and what is meaningful to you, what you really want/feel/need -- all the capacities/skills you need to manage and self-direct a free life. I think it could really benefit you, if you took on the challenge.

The alternative, the easier way, would be to search for the "right thing to do" to fill the time, so that you aren't bored anymore. Get a career, get a hobby, find a woman to "serve" (ha), get something/whatever to keep you busy. I wouldn't recommend that, because I think it skirts the bigger issue. It's something a lot of people opt for, though. But I think you'd be better served by tackling the internal stuff. (Doesn't mean you can't search for more fun or worthwhile things to do as well, of course.)

Just my two cents. Take what you like and leave the rest.

 

[winyaz]

You need to find something in life that gives you meaning, or at least is fun for you. Tony Robbins has a free book on his website (or at least he did a few years ago, for the price of your email) that may be helpful. The point of the book is to help you determine your values and from that help you determine how to live the best life, for you.

Regarding being introverted, something I am to some extent as well, I can tell you from experience that to make changes in your life often requires that you step outside your comfort zone. I spent a summer when I was young selling encyclopedia's door to door (pre-internet days). Something that I had absolutely no natural talent for, at all. But I did it to challenge myself and learn how to get out and talk to people. Stepping outside your comfort zone is hard but it can lead to life changing opportunities - I've done it several times. Sometimes it's hard but I have no regrets. And trying something new doesn't have to be forever.

Good luck.

 

[Major Tom]

It sounds like you could use a companion/relationship. Having someone to share your days with can make life a lot more fulfilling.

With one or two of the partners I've had, it could also drive you up the froggin' wall, if you spend too much time with them

 

[Retired Expat]

Hi there Blue Collar Fire. I too am an INTJ who also made his money in Construction and Real Estate.

As to boredom, I hear you. Challenges and hobbies helped me a lot. Had to learn a new language and customs in my new country, relearn my industry here, make new friends etc. That takes a lot of work. Dove deep into my desire to cook and learn how to make all the kinds of foods we just don't have here in my new country. Challenging and something I really enjoy so am cooking a lot.

One thing you don't mention, or if you did I missed it, is a relationship. I moved here to build a new/old relationship and we started to do many things together. Unlike prior marriage we are much better doing things together and so we kind of have built in company, yet we are both more than okay on our own.

We both love to travel and that is not really something most people like to do alone and is much more fun with a companion. Busy make arrangements for a 3-4 month trip now.

Start doing things you find fun and it will all get easier. Find someone to do things with and you will help each other to explore new things.

 

[DrRoy]

In my case, DW and I like to travel, and we like photography. When we are back home, a lot of time goes to editing the photos and sharing online. The rest of our time goes to reading, music, and some TV. We are so occupied that we don't know how we did it while working and raising the kids.

 

[Blue Collar Fire]

Wow...I get it. I really do. I retired at 51, to our home on 2 acres in California that needed landscaping, a poolhouse, a shop, and a few other things done. Did them. Was busy most of the time, and enjoying it. In 2018, we decided to leave California because of 1) the political climate, 2) taxes on my upcoming deferred income distributions that would have put me in an 11% state tax bracket for those distributions.

We bought a nice home in AZ, about the same value as our California home. Property tax is 1/3. My marginal income tax is about 40% of what it would have been in California on the above distributions. Everything else is cheaper, from car and home insurance to food, electricity, to gasoline. But, the home we bought is on a city lot, not 2 acres. And, I’m now bored to tears.

So, I’m considering going back to w*rk. But the prospect scares the crap out of me. In my career, I was a regional chief executive over Asia Pacific, with several billion dollars of revenue and several hundred million in operating profit responsibility. I have ZERO desire to return to that lifestyle...away from home two weeks out of the month, constantly battling corporate over targets that were often set ridiculously for our markets, and over legal and cultural implications for our services that Corporate could never understand.

And...we like to travel...sometimes deciding just the day before to go to a Hawaii, or Disneyland, or wherever. So we do have some things that are enjoyable, so don’t get me wrong...I like the freedom of retirement.

So, that’s where I’m coming from...retired sr executive, still young at 58, had something to do that I enjoyed most days, but no longer have that, and still have a very high marginal tax rate.

One of my hobbies has been tinkering with my guns. My local gun store is always looking for help...in fact, every company and store around here is hurting for help. So, I considered applying for some part time work there and enquired. The going rate seems to be $15 an hour, and they want people who will work full time, on a fixed schedule. So that’s out. First, since my marginal fed rate on my deferred income is 35%, and my AZ rate will be 4.54%, and SS/ Medicare taxes will be 7.62%, add in a percent or so for disability, and I’m paying the government just as much as I earn myself for trying not to be bored...and that at a very low hourly rate. So this is out both from a pay and a schedule perspective.

The other thing I’ve always had an interest in is being a real estate agent. Now, this one might work, and I’m still doing the research and trying to network a bit to see if it would work. I also consider myself INTJ, but I’m able to pretty efficiently get around the introvert to get the job done. On top of that, I’m quite competitive. I like to win. I won all the time during my career...always found a way to reach or exceed targets. So, the tax question aside, real estate may work for me if my wife and I figure out how to better plan our travels in advance, so I can schedule work with clients around that. On top of this, in the past 3 years, we’ve bought and sold several homes, and have had the opportunity to observe agents who were great, and some who really can’t call themselves agents, and I have ideas based on those observations that would help me be a better agent.

So, what I’m trying to say here is, there is probably something out there that you could do and enjoy, but you may need to do some research into it to find out if it is really for you. The hard part is done. You are already FI. Once that is achieved, RE, or not RE or semi-RE is really up to you. Cheers!

I feel your pain, friend. Been running around in a lot of the same circles trying to figure it out just like you are. Business ventures are a blast, and I like to win just like you do. When you consider the achievement penalty (tax) on winning though, it really robs the incentive right out of it, at least for me. I've allowed Uncle Sam to steal my gumption.

 

[Blue Collar Fire]

"Miserable doing nothing" stands out to me. That's not good -- to feel miserable when idle.

I noticed you said all of your motivation had been external -- i.e., gaining others' approval, status, impressing your dad. So then the task became shifting that motivation to intrinsic. And that's where you're stuck.

I see that as getting stuck in a developmental stage/task, moving from dependence to independence. Depression could be part of the problem, since depression does sap interest and motivation. But I think it's probably working the other way around, too. That is, the lack of a well-developed personal identity (e.g., not having a good sense of where your intrinsic motivation lies, what your true core values are, what feels meaningful and worthwhile to you, what you really want and like) -- that is contributing to, maybe causing, the depression.

It's hard not to feel down about yourself if you are 1) free, but 2) haven't developed the ability to "be a wheel rolling out of its own center," as Nietzsche put it -- to be self-determined and independent. If you weren't #1, weren't ER, and instead were strapped to the plow like most men -- working and slaving away to support a family -- then these wouldn't be issues for you. Your life would be basically programmed for you, full of tasks and responsibilities that left little room for exploring (or needing to explore) these sorts of questions.

But here you are. You were able to achieve VERY early retirement, and congratulations, but you achieved it before you had achieved or built the internal resources needed to use that freedom well.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people struggle with these issues. A LOT. They are just more in your face because you're so free. Most people don't encounter these issues so directly, because they have job or family buffering them. You don't. It's just you and your freedom. And unfortunately, you aren't quite prepared, developmentally.

That's not a bad thing. Everyone has developmental challenges in their life, which they choose to confront or avoid. I'd encourage you to think of this as life offering you an opportunity to learn/grow in intrinsic orientation, independence, knowing your core values and what is meaningful to you, what you really want/feel/need -- all the capacities/skills you need to manage and self-direct a free life. I think it could really benefit you, if you took on the challenge.

The alternative, the easier way, would be to search for the "right thing to do" to fill the time, so that you aren't bored anymore. Get a career, get a hobby, find a woman to "serve" (ha), get something/whatever to keep you busy. I wouldn't recommend that, because I think it skirts the bigger issue. It's something a lot of people opt for, though. But I think you'd be better served by tackling the internal stuff. (Doesn't mean you can't search for more fun or worthwhile things to do as well, of course.)

Just my two cents. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Thanks so much for your valuable input and for taking the time to share. There's a lot to chew on and contemplate there, all excellent thoughts.

 

[Morricol61]

Blue Collar Fire, I think you retired too young with too much money and no goal in life. You need a challenge, a purpose to your days an adventure, someone to love and nurture and maybe even start a family with. These are the things that make life worth living.

Some suggestions, for what it's worth:
- forget about the money and start again. Invest it and only allow yourself a small amount say $15,000 per year to live on while you get yourself established in either a new business, (e.g. real estate); find a job and live only on your wages, while trying to save for retirement; or enroll in some sort of training to further your skills and set you on a new path in life (e.g. paramedic or tourist guide).
- take a vacation, nothing too expensive but try something you haven't tried before that will challenge you physically, such as hiking, rock climbing or crewing on a sail boat for a few weeks or months. OR
- buy a farm and become a real farmer living and working on the land. Don't hire a manager, go to ag college to learn the basics of agribusiness, animal husbandry and crop management, and do it yourself.

You need a challenge and the challenge should be achievable but hard enough to jolt you out of your ennui and possibly expose you to another way to live, different people and set you on another path entirely.

You have lived as a very rich person with nothing to do from day to day. This is not something you want to go back to. The idea is to remake yourself into someone who knows what they want, values what they have and has an inner strength to recognise when they need to change and how to determine and achieve their goals.

 

[socca]

buy a farm and become a real farmer living and working on the land. Don't hire a manager, go to ag college to learn the basics of agribusiness, animal husbandry and crop management, and do it yourself.

I don't know about the situation in Australia, but in the U.S. the barriers to entry for an ag-biz-wannabe are extremely high (both in terms of initial capital outlay required and ag biz knowledge required). I don't have any data to back up my claim, but I suspect that most successful U.S. farmers (whether grain, animal, or both) had an extensive apprenticeship by growing up in a farming family. This is certainly true in my case (no, I'm not out there driving a tractor; I'm a farm manager). Just sayin'.

 

[Morricol61]

I don't know about the situation in Australia, but in the U.S. the barriers to entry for an ag-biz-wannabe are extremely high (both in terms of initial capital outlay required and ag biz knowledge required). Just sayin'.

I used to work for an agricultural college and we trained our students to work on the land in any capacity.

The majority of them lived at the college for the duration of their studies from a year up to three years hands on training. They worked with animals and learned about breeding techniques, blood lines, handling and feeding. Students under the guidance of trainers mustered livestock on bikes or horseback with dogs, drenched and sheared sheep, built fences and yards. Cropping skills were intensively taught and varied depending on the crop, e.g. sugar cane in the north, chick peas and wheat were grown further south. We had several accommodation campuses in the state and also offered short term, post grad courses for farmers who wanted additional knowledge.

Sadly the colleges closed down at the end of 2019 due a reduction in enrolments, but it was a very popular way of learning for generations of Australian farmers.

 

[nvestysly]

Since we're throwing out all sorts of ideas for Blue Collar Fire to consider, and identifying all sorts of cool things to do for just about anyone, how about taking a class or two at John C. Campbell Folk School. The web site is John C. Campbell Folk School it's located in western North Carolina so not too far from the path Blue Collar Fire would be taking from IN to FL.

I took a blacksmithing class last year and DW enrolled in calligraphy. We both had a great time and met interesting people. They have classes in cooking, gardening, painting, wood carving, music and plenty more. It's a great environment and it is possible to keep social interaction to a minimum depending the class you enroll in.

There are old-timey, and not so old-timey, schools like this all around the country. I'm definitely considering taking another course there.

 

[ncbill]

I don't know about the situation in Australia, but in the U.S. the barriers to entry for an ag-biz-wannabe are extremely high (both in terms of initial capital outlay required and ag biz knowledge required). I don't have any data to back up my claim, but I suspect that most successful U.S. farmers (whether grain, animal, or both) had an extensive apprenticeship by growing up in a farming family. This is certainly true in my case (no, I'm not out there driving a tractor; I'm a farm manager). Just sayin'.

Acquaintance bought an old dairy farm...he keeps the agricultural exemption by selling hay & goats...in this state one only needs to generate $1,000/year in agricultural revenue for the exemption.

The exemption means he only pays property tax on the farmhouse & the land on which it sits...all farm buildings, equipment, etc. are exempt.

Which gives him the use of a 50+ acre farm for lower taxes than I pay on my townhouse.

 

[Blue Collar Fire]

I don't know about the situation in Australia, but in the U.S. the barriers to entry for an ag-biz-wannabe are extremely high (both in terms of initial capital outlay required and ag biz knowledge required). I don't have any data to back up my claim, but I suspect that most successful U.S. farmers (whether grain, animal, or both) had an extensive apprenticeship by growing up in a farming family. This is certainly true in my case (no, I'm not out there driving a tractor; I'm a farm manager). Just sayin'.

You're bang-on. It's cost prohibitive to start from scratch, at least in grain farming. If Grandpa didn't set you up with some paid-for ground, it's unrealistic. Even if he did, you're still struggling with low crop prices and high equipment cost & other expenses. It takes scale to make it worthwhile, and to start with nothing and make the operation big enough to be profitable in one generation would be very difficult, in my opinion.

 

[Blue Collar Fire]

Blue Collar Fire, I think you retired too young with too much money and no goal in life. You need a challenge, a purpose to your days an adventure, someone to love and nurture and maybe even start a family with. These are the things that make life worth living.

Some suggestions, for what it's worth:
- forget about the money and start again. Invest it and only allow yourself a small amount say $15,000 per year to live on while you get yourself established in either a new business, (e.g. real estate); find a job and live only on your wages, while trying to save for retirement; or enroll in some sort of training to further your skills and set you on a new path in life (e.g. paramedic or tourist guide).
- take a vacation, nothing too expensive but try something you haven't tried before that will challenge you physically, such as hiking, rock climbing or crewing on a sail boat for a few weeks or months. OR
- buy a farm and become a real farmer living and working on the land. Don't hire a manager, go to ag college to learn the basics of agribusiness, animal husbandry and crop management, and do it yourself.

You need a challenge and the challenge should be achievable but hard enough to jolt you out of your ennui and possibly expose you to another way to live, different people and set you on another path entirely.

You have lived as a very rich person with nothing to do from day to day. This is not something you want to go back to. The idea is to remake yourself into someone who knows what they want, values what they have and has an inner strength to recognise when they need to change and how to determine and achieve their goals.

Great ideas, thanks very much for your help!

 

[Quantum Sufficit]

The problem the OP is going to experience in a full retirement scenario, is that he never experienced the mind numbing 30+ years of trudging into work, and dealing with B.S. on a daily basis. He also never had to try to schedule family time/vacations around work priorities, never had to take phone calls/answer emails on your sick days, never had to fight for promotions in a cut throat environment, never had to experience reverse racism/sexism, never had to deal with a packed commute, and compete for parking.

You will never appreciate a slack schedule if you never had an overloaded schedule with daily stress.

+1...

 

[Buckeye]

Mostly an observation, and a frustration. It's a very common trait among folks with my personality profile. Frustrating because I can't find a "passion". Find something interesting, research it to death and master it, get bored and move on. Repeat. Running out of interesting topics on which to seek knowledge.

The last fulfilling activity... Embarrassingly simple couple days that would be boring to most. I have a small farm not far from home, and I spent most of 2 days repairing about 1000 feet of dilapidated 5 strand wire fence that runs along one side of a field there. First time I'd done fence work, so there was a learning curve. Quickly got the hang of it. Replaced a bunch of posts and several of the runs of wire, new tensioners. It was supremely enjoyable because I was alone, outside in warm sunny weather, learning, working with my hands and brain on something rather inconsequential, making an improvement over what was there before, with no customer or anyone else around to watch or criticize the job and no time frame in which to finish it. It was a genuine "state of flow". It's been almost two years ago, and I still think about it routinely when I'm pondering what brings joy in the quest for more of said joy. Foolish and silly as it may sound, I loved every second of those 2 days and wish I had more fences to fix

You might be able to do this type of work for non-profits who are helping others. These 'customers' would probably not be complaining! For example, I follow Squirrelwood Farms on twitter (@m_crouton). They rescue horses (and other animals) and provide equine PTSD therapy for free to veterans and others. As on any farm, there is always another project to be completed. I adore animals and support their PTSD mission so painting fences all day to help them would be time well spent for me. Find one that needs your help and supports a cause that interests you.

 

[AJ520]

From ur post, I see that you don’t have much of a support network, or ppl you can enjoy your life with. You talked about family members not being on ur side to celebrate and doesn’t want to do things with others.
This can definitely lead to loneliness... With money or without money...
I think some soul searching is needed in building relationship with ppl through some channels you would enjoy....

 

[Blue65]

The problem the OP is going to experience in a full retirement scenario, is that he never experienced the mind numbing 30+ years of trudging into work, and dealing with B.S. on a daily basis. He also never had to try to schedule family time/vacations around work priorities, never had to take phone calls/answer emails on your sick days, never had to fight for promotions in a cut throat environment, never had to experience reverse racism/sexism, never had to deal with a packed commute, and compete for parking.

You will never appreciate a slack schedule if you never had an overloaded schedule with daily stress.

Spot on 1000%. When I read some of these posts I’m saddened that others haven’t experienced the same enjoyment I’ve had in my career. Ive always had a good life/work balance and have been a high earner. I’m 57 and I’ve grown to appreciate any time I have off and the little things in life like sharing dinner with ppl I love. Yes, I’ve been derailed financially many times by life’s problems but I probably wouldn’t change anything. 37 and single should be spent out with your friends and family having as much fun as possible.

 

[Aerides]

Note:

Thread is almost 2 years old, and OP hasn't been around in 17 months.. so, there's that.