Howdy! 40 married w/ 4 kids

[socca]

Expenses: $36k/year all in, includes health insurance, discretionary, lumpy expenses and able to dial back if needed

I'm not sure how you are doing this. I'm a single guy, late 50s, no kids, no pets, own a SFH in a MCOL area. My 2021 budget has me (coincidentally) at $36k for necessary expenses alone (house, food, medical, auto, and an ample allocation to reserves for non-periodic expenses). Can six people really live as cheaply as one?

 

[yhoomajor]

Figaro, good job on saving $3.6m in your early forties. And looks like you have managed to teach your kids how to stay engaged without partaking in expensive activities. That takes lot of discipline. So another good Job!

As for - can you retire - imho - You can! There are several permutation and combination of Equities+Preferreds+ other FI" that will generate passive income of $50K plus every year. And you won't even be touching your principal.

For ex: (SPY 60%, PFF 10%, SCHD 10%, 10% some bonds, 10% small-midcap and/or International) - and you are generating more than $50K per year.

If you can pull it off (mentally), you have an opportunity to really live your life your own way for next 40+ years. Very few people get this opportunity.

 

[teetee]

Great job OP. The most important thing to do if I were you is to teach your kids to start part time job and a retirement planning. You show them how it's done so on top of already frugal life style, they also know how to earn and save. Don't run into risks of being frugal for all your life and have your kids think you are a taiwad and end up spending like there is no tomorrow once they leave home and end your legacy prematurely.

The right way to teach teens anything, on the other hand, is a full time job by itself so you will have to wait until they all leave before your true retirement begins.

 

[fancy free]

I suppose I'll have to browse your posts now to find out how you did it!

Which part?

 

[OldShooter]

I do have an exit plan from IL, my backup plan will be in action.in three years. All in IL know what a mess it is. But for retirees it's not too bad w/ the current income tax structure. If the only issue is prop taxes it could only go up so high. Chicago's economy is quite diverse so unlikely that we'd experience a Detroit collapse. Time will tell.

Well, Chicago's on the likely bankruptcy list too, and as those things start to happen you will see property values start to deteriorate as the current net outflow of the IL middle class accelerates. Hopefully you will see all that in your rear view mirror.

Regarding natural disasters I have always thought it's good to be located to a huge body of fresh water. If it all goes down like that, that particular commodity is what everyone truly needs.

I wasn't thinking of the apocalyptic stuff, just the run of the mill wildfires, hurricanes, and earthquakes. That said, I guess our having the Mississippi river as our back yard is a good thing.

If the dollar ceases to be the world's reserve currency and another country establishes it's soft-power dominance then all of us are in ruin then, early retired or not! If that's the case - time for relocation to another Canada.

Not sure what you're saying here; the disaster will be so great it's not worth worrying about? I don't think it will be that huge over the long term. To be sure, our standard of living will decline. But a decline in the US dollar will make our natural resources, agricultural and manufactured goods exports more competitive. Over time that will lift the economy. But if that hit happens, there will be a few years where we'll be glad to have our TIPS.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

How do you get $36k for a family of 6? How do you get medical for so cheap at so young? I know we couldn't do it and part of it is just medical and property taxes. How do you plan on paying for things like braces and stuff? Assuming minimal activities kids just seem to cost more with food and clothes.

 

[Nick12]

Something doesn't sound logical $36K per year to support a family.

 

[Golden sunsets]

Something doesn't sound logical $36K per year to support a family.

Right. Something doesn't add up. A family of 6 living on $36K, when the investment portfolio is $3.6 million makes no sense. Below poverty level, with the parent insisting his kid pay for their travel soccer expenses, if that is the kid's "thing", seems like a draconian life, all for what purpose..... so that the parents can grow the portfolio to $5M, then $10M, etc. The OP's assumption is that the kids will be content reading, playing board games etc. Ha. Just wait.

 

[Figaro]

That's how we got to a nw of that amount. We didn't see the need to spend much. When you don't have a mortgage and other debt, fixed spending could be quite low. Our life is fine and dandy. We spend on things we value. Eating out and traveling, don't care much for stuff. I would question the spending decisions of another household myself that exceeds what I spend. But to each there own.

My folks didn't spend much when I grew up and they still don't. Yet we never had the fomo that the naysayers say that my own kids. And when you have that experience, I realize a lot of excess spending that occurs in this country.

I need to know of what additional costs come with raising kids late on in teen years. I didn't factor in braces really because for myself, my folks couldn't afford them for me. I had to get them in my 20s after I paid off my own schooling. . I've heard that it costs $250k to raise each kid in America. But I really don't buy into that logic - bc it certainly didn't take that much.

 

[Exchme]

Current spending levels aside, Figaro could spend ~$90K and I think most would agree that that would be solidly middle class and include all the braces, soccer camps, i-phones & video games that most teenagers want. If he can keep the spending near the $36K for a few years first, the portfolio is likely to grow quite a bit. So he seems financially OK as long as he makes reasonable investments and doesn't go too aggressive or too conservative.

The risks I see are on the personal side and family front. Number one in my book would be whether his wife is willing to put up with his astonishing thriftiness - some famously thrifty FIRE bloggers ended up in divorce as the wife just didn't share that vision of life. It was one thing to sacrifice while trying to get ahead, another to live that life forever while metaphorically hubby sits on the couch and friends drip with new cars, big houses and fancy vacations.

The second risk I would envision is his own feeling of isolation when everyone else his age is working. Initially, this may not be a problem as young children can take up as much time as you can give, but their needs diminish over time. Hopefully, he can find engagement and meaning without a boss giving him a task and a deadline.

Third is his own feeling of regret that he has limited his children's educational opportunities. Unless his portfolio grows, I don't see him able to send them to top universities, even if they are top achievers. He probably has too many assets to get them a lot of aid, and he can't swing top schools or advanced degrees, so if they want those, they may become lifelong debtors.

 

[kgtest]

age 40, married, 4 young kids

NW: 3.6mill
No debt, no mortgage
Expenses: $36k/year all in, includes health insurance, discretionary, lumpy expenses and able to dial back if needed

Pension:. 33k/year at age 65 or lump of $555k, deferral at 4% accrual/year thereafter. No cola
SS:. 26k/year
FIRE Calc 100% monte carlo 100%, straight math 100+ years of expenses not counting SS



Recently took a severance with my megacorp to help them out as they painfully restructured (also my thought to protect my fellow team from mandatory cuts as well - they seemed much more uncertain and scared than I was during our meeting about this stuff). This was the 4th or 5th one since I was around for about 18 or so years at this corp, so restructures are nothing new, but this was one in particular seemed different as they really wanted to automate and change everything. After restructure #2-3, I knew that I needed to protect myself so I really kick-started my FIRE plans and started reading forums such as this. Five years later I found myself ready to pull the parachute because I built myself this option and not take anymore nonsense from new management. I could reapply for my old company after the dust settles a bit because I did really enjoy working with the quality people and the challenge of the job, but taking a pause right now to see if all who have retired in similar fashion have any thoughts or insight that I'm missing or need to consider.

The numbers work out for never returning to w*rk but need some wise advice if I'm giving up too much here in earning capital during these years. I have enough to fund college, but maybe not big family vacations later on when kids are grown w/ spouses (especially if grandchildren come into the picture). At the same time a big part of why I wanted to FIRE is to be around my young kids and spouse during these important developmental years, only one kid in school currently.

I need to focus on building up my health and plan for either actual retirement or eventually back into the workforce in some capacity.

I do have things that keep me engaged with volunteering and hobbies, oh and taking care of my kiddies. The longer that I stay away from workforce, everyone else will eventually get to snooping more into our situation and I'd like to keep a low profile on that. I did have a couple of friends who were planning FIRE as well, but a bit awkward talking outright about that these things when they're still working the grind, so I turn to the early retired for insights.

Any thoughts/insights to my situation?

The money is sooo good right now. Git it while the gittin is good. I feel that downsize pain. I recently got caught up in that myself, saw the writing and bailed.

BTW, I love this forum. You all are my peoples! Always a breath of fresh air getting back into the convo on these boards.

 

[ivinsfan]

That's how we got to a nw of that amount. We didn't see the need to spend much. When you don't have a mortgage and other debt, fixed spending could be quite low. Our life is fine and dandy. We spend on things we value. Eating out and traveling, don't care much for stuff. I would question the spending decisions of another household myself that exceeds what I spend. But to each there own.

My folks didn't spend much when I grew up and they still don't. Yet we never had the fomo that the naysayers say that my own kids. And when you have that experience, I realize a lot of excess spending that occurs in this country.

I need to know of what additional costs come with raising kids late on in teen years. I didn't factor in braces really because for myself, my folks couldn't afford them for me. I had to get them in my 20s after I paid off my own schooling. . I've heard that it costs $250k to raise each kid in America. But I really don't buy into that logic - bc it certainly didn't take that much.

You need to get straight with your feelings about money before you retire. You would "question" the decisions of those that spend more then you do? Your parents didn't spend much but wouldn't get you braces? Braces can be and are put on payments, so either you were dirt poor, or the bank of Mom and Dad didn't consider them important. I've asked you twice what you plan on doing about college with your kids and so far crickets.


You aren't going to enjoy retirement if you have a spend number in your head that you can't move up as required. If you have millions but can't reconcile yourself to funding braces and some higher education for your kids take a look at your true feelings about money.

 

[OldShooter]

Amzing! Admittedly the OP did ask somewhat of an open-ended question, but I don't think he expected to be attacked for his lifestyle, have his integrity impugned ("Something doesn't add up."), and be told how to run his life and how to raise his children. The posters who presume they have a right to demand information ("I've asked you twice ..") are amazing, as are the ones demanding that he defend his lifestyle or insulting it. In his responses, the OP is being far more polite than I would be if I were him.

I think the Dunning-Kruger effect is running amok in some of these posts (Roughly: Those who know the least are the most self-confident in their knowledge. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect) Really, people, the OP knows more about his life than you you will never know. I think some apologies are in order but I don't expect to see them.

Me? I don't understand the $36K number but I remember the pre-internet acronym: MYOB. I actually applaud the idea that his kids will have a love of libraries instead of loving some vacuous ball-chasing game. But, again, that's none of my business. (And, no, I'm not interested in debating my opinion.) The OP obviously marches to a different drummer. I applaud that and even envy it a little. Go, @Figaro!

 

[ivinsfan]

Amzing! Admittedly the OP did ask somewhat of an open-ended question, but I don't think he expected to be attacked for his lifestyle, have his integrity impugned ("Something doesn't add up."), and be told how to run his life and how to raise his children. The posters who presume they have a right to demand information ("I've asked you twice ..") are amazing, as are the ones demanding that he defend his lifestyle or insulting it. In his responses, the OP is being far more polite than I would be if I were him.

I think the Dunning-Kruger effect is running amok in some of these posts (Roughly: Those who know the least are the most self-confident in their knowledge. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect) Really, people, the OP knows more about his life than you you will never know. I think some apologies are in order but I don't expect to see them.

Me? I don't understand the $36K number but I remember the pre-internet acronym: MYOB. I actually applaud the idea that his kids will have a love of libraries instead of loving some vacuous ball-chasing game. But, again, that's none of my business. (And, no, I'm not interested in debating my opinion.) The OP obviously marches to a different drummer. I applaud that and even envy it a little. Go, @Figaro!

Hey if he didn't want our opinions he wouldn't have asked. You know kids can love libraries and also love ball chasing games.



Integrity impugned good grief what an exaggeration, people are asking if they can raise 4 kids, pay for HC, keep the lights on and such, maintain the home on 36K a year. The OP just says they don't spend much money..


He's done a tremendous job of earning and saving but there's more to life then earning and saving...

 

[OldShooter]

... Integrity impugned good grief what an exaggeration, people are asking if they can raise 4 kids, pay for HC, keep the lights on and such, maintain the home on 36K a year. The OP just says they don't spend much money. ...

And he has some kind of obligation to say more than that? Or you have some kind of special standing that allows you to demand more?

 

[ivinsfan]

And he has some kind of obligation to say more than that? Or you have some kind of special standing that allows you to demand more?

No and No just a few posts back the OP said he really didn't have an idea of how much teenagers cost to raise...which brought up some more possible costs. Since you aren't actually the OP, why don't you just wait for his opinion.


If you are going to quote my posts why don't you quote the whole post, where I give the OP props for being such a good provider...

 

[tb001]

I agree, I don’t think it’s impugning his integrity. That is a seriously low budget when you have 3.6m in the bank. Good for him for doing it, but it’s not at all crazy to question whether it’s realistic.

I personally would LOVE to see his budget breakdown and how he does it. I think our food budget for a family of 4 is a third of his overall budget and our kids aren’t even teenagers yet!!

 

[livingalmostlarge]

I'm the person who asked about braces. Just a heads up braces were essential for my DK1 and maybe my DK2. Meaning Dk1 had such a cross bite if we didn't try to fix it now at age 7-11 then she WOULD 100% need surgery to fix her bite at 18 or 20 when she finished growing. Her alignment is medically necessary. I had 3 orthodontist estimates and 2 said braces and 1 said don't bother get surgery. Also this was pointed out for us before her 1st birthday. This is a genetic condition and my aunt and cousin both had the surgery and counseled me to try and avoid it. My aunt was in her 30s and my grandparents were poverty level so she had to do it. Her daughter they tried braces and it didn't work because it was too late and they didn't know better. But they also paid for the surgery. Sometimes things happen that are needed and no superficial. The first round cost me $5k and we are due for a second round $5k and potentially retainers and other stuff. So all in? I bet around $12k. Dental insurance covered $1000. And we hit our lifetime cap.

Neighbor had eye surgery on her DK some sort of muscle. Potentially another surgery because it's not quite right.

Hence why I'm curious how does a family of 6 live on $36k including HI? I'm curious are you self insuring or using a faith based insurance? Or does obamacare really cover that much of the premium? That would really save a lot of money and we could FIRE sooner. I mean if our premium and OOP was $0 or close to $0 then i'm down with whatever you are doing for a family of 4 here. My kids are 8 and 11. So I'm ready to listen. I'd appreciate being pointed in the right direction because everytime I look at HI it's pricey.

 

[Letj]

Amzing! Admittedly the OP did ask somewhat of an open-ended question, but I don't think he expected to be attacked for his lifestyle, have his integrity impugned ("Something doesn't add up."), and be told how to run his life and how to raise his children. The posters who presume they have a right to demand information ("I've asked you twice ..") are amazing, as are the ones demanding that he defend his lifestyle or insulting it. In his responses, the OP is being far more polite than I would be if I were him.

I think the Dunning-Kruger effect is running amok in some of these posts (Roughly: Those who know the least are the most self-confident in their knowledge. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect) Really, people, the OP knows more about his life than you you will never know. I think some apologies are in order but I don't expect to see them.

Me? I don't understand the $36K number but I remember the pre-internet acronym: MYOB. I actually applaud the idea that his kids will have a love of libraries instead of loving some vacuous ball-chasing game. But, again, that's none of my business. (And, no, I'm not interested in debating my opinion.) The OP obviously marches to a different drummer. I applaud that and even envy it a little. Go, @Figaro!

This!! While I certainly have less than many, I don’t see myself being able to spend much of what I have. It generates way more than I can spend and frankly I dread all the money my children will inherit so I will definitely leave a big chunk to charity. I am very contented with my life. I have so many hobbies that bring me joy and take up a lot of my time but requires little to no money - swimming, Pickleball, hiking, dancing, etc. I say this to say that one doesn’t need a lot of money, even with children, to live well. We take a lot for granted in the US and forget that most people in other developed countries, do not have the wasteful lifestyles we have in this country and live simpler and more fulfilled lives surrounded by friends and real community. Our children are way over indulged to the point where simple things like washing dishes by hand can be a hardship. It’s one of the reasons they have so much trouble coping with minor discomfort. Rant over. Leave the OP alone and let’s be mindful of our own perception of what’s needed to be comfortable and our tunnel vision. One can live simply in an environmentally conscious way for a lot less than we think.

 

[Letj]

I'm the person who asked about braces. Just a heads up braces were essential for my DK1 and maybe my DK2. Meaning Dk1 had such a cross bite if we didn't try to fix it now at age 7-11 then she WOULD 100% need surgery to fix her bite at 18 or 20 when she finished growing. Her alignment is medically necessary. I had 3 orthodontist estimates and 2 said braces and 1 said don't bother get surgery. Also this was pointed out for us before her 1st birthday. This is a genetic condition and my aunt and cousin both had the surgery and counseled me to try and avoid it. My aunt was in her 30s and my grandparents were poverty level so she had to do it. Her daughter they tried braces and it didn't work because it was too late and they didn't know better. But they also paid for the surgery. Sometimes things happen that are needed and no superficial. The first round cost me $5k and we are due for a second round $5k and potentially retainers and other stuff. So all in? I bet around $12k. Dental insurance covered $1000. And we hit our lifetime cap.

Neighbor had eye surgery on her DK some sort of muscle. Potentially another surgery because it's not quite right.

Hence why I'm curious how does a family of 6 live on $36k including HI? I'm curious are you self insuring or using a faith based insurance? Or does obamacare really cover that much of the premium? That would really save a lot of money and we could FIRE sooner. I mean if our premium and OOP was $0 or close to $0 then i'm down with whatever you are doing for a family of 4 here. My kids are 8 and 11. So I'm ready to listen. I'd appreciate being pointed in the right direction because everytime I look at HI it's pricey.

If he had such a medically necessary expense, he has enough assets to handle it. Most families don’t have unforeseen medical needs. If it happens in his case, he’ll be fine financially.

 

[Figaro]

Not that I'm trying to skirt the questions here (I do have a house of children to manage most of the day so no time to address the forums till time allows). I did ask the questions and folks are giving me their perspectives which can be different, but hey diversity of opinion better shapes our own and find the best course of action (at least that was the mantra of my former employer megacorp...).


Health insurance.
If spending low amounts, I'd be able to strategically control my "income" from roth conversions. Kids also act as a buffer with child tax credits (expanded by Trump's Tax Cut and Jobs Act 2017, expanded again for 2021 with the Biden American Rescue Plan, and further intended to expand for the upcoming Biden infrastructure bill). Controlling my income and being as some posters have indicated "poverty" level thus would allow for significant ACA subsidies, which will not be more than my premium while working $150-200/month for a High deductible. I've got an old HSA that I've got to pay for any expenses that come along the way, but I'd just be able to cash flow it along the way. Plug your own numbers into the calculators for your own state and see where you are. Don't be scared to retire early because of healthcare (if you have an effective enough plan for your money). For the most part my family has been fortunate to not have major or chronic conditions that require more than the preventative visits. Your own mileage may vary.

For college if I hadn't mentioned it before...I've got some $ stocked away in my retirement accounts for that...by the time my kids are in college, I'll be the right age to just withdraw from those accounts to pay or from Roth. Either way, it's covered. I'd advocate for dual enrollment (college courses for high school) during high school which is a program available at our local school, along with AP courses. My kids will need to balance their "want" and their "need" for an education. I fully support education and think it's a great equalizer. Community college, and an accelerated learning plan whilst in university upon transfer in will yield good results.

Regarding braces, my parents made less than I did with my first real job out of college. I made sure that I was not a burden to them at the time. I knew my choice in school was going to be my own debt burden and not that of my parents. I was able to pay for my braces easily bc I was working.

When I was in middleschool/high school, I participated in a number of "free" or relatively cheap activities and believe it or not there I survived without playing travel league sports. Kids just need a place to belong, whether that is a league or a club or a hobby.

I've read up on FIRE for several years and realized that it was actually within reach. Much easier for those who are married and have possibility of dual income (thus more tax advantaged accounts). It takes two to reach this point and we were on the same page before we even heard of FIRE (that people could actually make this retire thing a reality without having grey hairs).

 

[Figaro]

Current spending levels aside, Figaro could spend ~$90K and I think most would agree that that would be solidly middle class and include all the braces, soccer camps, i-phones & video games that most teenagers want. If he can keep the spending near the $36K for a few years first, the portfolio is likely to grow quite a bit. So he seems financially OK as long as he makes reasonable investments and doesn't go too aggressive or too conservative.

The risks I see are on the personal side and family front. Number one in my book would be whether his wife is willing to put up with his astonishing thriftiness - some famously thrifty FIRE bloggers ended up in divorce as the wife just didn't share that vision of life. It was one thing to sacrifice while trying to get ahead, another to live that life forever while metaphorically hubby sits on the couch and friends drip with new cars, big houses and fancy vacations.

The second risk I would envision is his own feeling of isolation when everyone else his age is working. Initially, this may not be a problem as young children can take up as much time as you can give, but their needs diminish over time. Hopefully, he can find engagement and meaning without a boss giving him a task and a deadline.

Third is his own feeling of regret that he has limited his children's educational opportunities. Unless his portfolio grows, I don't see him able to send them to top universities, even if they are top achievers. He probably has too many assets to get them a lot of aid, and he can't swing top schools or advanced degrees, so if they want those, they may become lifelong debtors.

Thanks for this comment, I thought it quite thoughtful..

Spouse is definitely on board. It's a game for us both to be "optimized". Ironically, we are the ones that plan fancy cruise trips and try to get our friends to join us. We do see that our friends have fancy minivans (yup - we drool over minivans)- I had a chance to drive one around, and I think it'll definitely be on our list to get down the line...but our current one works fine.

Currently it's been great not knowing what day it is and running errands when folks are working.

Regarding higher education - I think I could still support them through university...it's just that if they decide to go with a private pricey one...I won't bank-roll it fully. Many ways to pay for education...and the bank of mom&dad offers competitive rates and terms vs traditional lenders. Currently offering 5% interest per month (60%APY) on their savings accounts as I teach them about saving vs spending on toys.

If all your assets are in retirement accounts and your home...it doesn't count as much against for college aid. Apparently you just need to trade in your taxable brokerage account to a pricier home a couple years prior to the first one going to school.

 

[veganbetty]

I think you have it pretty well figured out. I wouldn't worry about what the chicken littles are saying. And now that you are available for new opportunities, I suspect you will find some other way to make money if you need to. Your frugality and outlook on what's important got you here. Trust that going forward.

 

[samcat]

More power to you if you can live on $36k per year.

We pay $6k towards property taxes a year and $6k towards utilities. And, we live in California and have owned our home for 26 years so our property taxes are cheap compared to most. Home is paid for and we still couldn't live on $36k per year.

 

[DrBrisket]

Health insurance.
If spending low amounts, I'd be able to strategically control my "income" from roth conversions. Kids also act as a buffer with child tax credits (expanded by Trump's Tax Cut and Jobs Act 2017, expanded again for 2021 with the Biden American Rescue Plan, and further intended to expand for the upcoming Biden infrastructure bill). Controlling my income and being as some posters have indicated "poverty" level thus would allow for significant ACA subsidies, which will not be more than my premium while working $150-200/month for a High deductible. I've got an old HSA that I've got to pay for any expenses that come along the way, but I'd just be able to cash flow it along the way. Plug your own numbers into the calculators for your own state and see where you are. Don't be scared to retire early because of healthcare (if you have an effective enough plan for your money). For the most part my family has been fortunate to not have major or chronic conditions that require more than the preventative visits. Your own mileage may vary.

Personal lesson I learned when transitioning off megacorp insurance to ACA--there's a minimum yearly income you must have if you wish to avoid Medicaid particularly with your kids. When enrolling in an ACA plan (my state uses the healthcare.gov), it gives you no warning, and when you hit submit, your application is immediately forwarded to your state's Medicaid office.
Justin at RootOfGood dot com has some blog posts of his experience in NC. Seattlecyclone dot com has similar posts about his experience in WA. Not making a judgement about Medicaid vs CHIP vs ACA, but wanted you to aware before hitting submit on an ACA application and end up surprised like I was.

If you do target an ACA plan, Cost Sharing Reductions for Silver plans are something to look at. Our personal situation makes it difficult to hit the relatively narrow income band that qualifies, but CSR can drastically reduce your healthcare costs.

Like you, we have 4 kids. I had two "sabbaticals", one in my early thirties and one in my early forties before finally going on "permanent sabbatical" three years ago. DS2 will occasionally ask if I am going to "fail" this third attempt LOL! In the first 2 "sabbaticals", it was entertaining to me so see the frightened/shocked look on people's faces when they found out I was unemployed and didn't seem to have a care in the world about my situation.

At the beginning of my current "permanent sabbatical", we moved several hundred miles to be closer to family and a couple of hours away from the nearest mega-metropolis. My new friends/neighbors/colleagues initially accepted that neither DW nor I w*rk, but would constantly offer words of encouragement along the lines of "something will come along soon." I just let it go, said thanks, and asked them about their careers. People looooove talking about themselves and are so busy talking they rarely bother to ask again. As a plus, in our new location, my kids that are still in public schools are not exposed to the "keeping up with the Joneses" nonsense prevalent in previous mega-metropolis suburbia schools they attended.

IMHO, once you have "won" the financial game (it seems you have even nicely run up the score from your initial post), it is now a mental game for your and your spouse. I worked long hours and/or traveled extensively with my j*bs. It can be a big change being around your spouse most waking hours. I know I have crossed the lines when DW says, "You need to think about going back to w*rk." Straightens me out everytime!