Post-Retirement Struggles for Someone Who Should have None

[rfkent]

Enjoy it

Similar financial situation. I smooth my days with things I enjoy. Exercise, tennis, biking, travel, beach and friends.

If you find something you are really passionate go after it. You have more than enough money to live a comfortable life go enjoy it.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Here is an article that may be helpful - Happiness Comes Cheap -- Even For Millionaires -- ScienceDaily - "A bar of chocolate, a long soak in the bath, a snooze in the middle of the afternoon, a leisurely stroll in the park. These are the things that make us the most happy, according to new research. Researchers found that it's the simple things in life that impact most positively on our sense of well being."

 

[Pellice]

I'm enjoying this topic! I think that some of the terms use could benefit from a more precise definition, but it may be the nature of such a philosophical discussion that definitions are hard to nail down. For example, "sense of purpose," and "fulfillment" are being used above sometimes interchangeably and sometimes as separate, but related, concepts.

Probably also the historical context plays a part. For most people in history, survival took most of their energy - but it rarely took all of it. I studied Medieval heretics. I wanted to understand why people who could barely manage survival on their little mountain plots from year to year could muster up the resolution and thinking to believe something different from their neighbors, even something that put them at risk of death at the stake. (I never entirely figured it out).

They were told what theirpurpose was. We are asked to figure it out, and to come up with something better than the Conquistador in South America: "We came to serve God, and to get rich."

 

[emmaswan]

OP, I don't have anything to contribute to the thread, just to express my gratitude for starting it. The original post and the subsequent replies have been really educational for me.

Look forward to following the continued discussion.

 

[cyber888]

Read and practice some Buddhist teachings and meditation

Hey everyone,

I'm a 51 year old father of two teenagers (17/15) and husband to my beautiful wife (50).
My wife has been retired for about 4 years now, but I stepped away from a 27 year career in the fairly lucrative corporate meeting-after-meeting world in Feb 2020, unbeknownst to me about a month before COVID lockdowns began.

I was an IT best practice consultant pimping myself out to large Canadian corporations and enduring meeting after relentless meeting of gibberish.
I couldn't take the relentless demands and workloads anymore, so my plan at the time was to take "a few months off" to recalibrate myself to a career change towards something more hands-on (but entirely less lucrative).

With COVID lockdowns though, I really haven't gone back to anything job-related and will say I am pretty much fully retired at this point apart from running a personal mortgage business that takes up <4hrs of my time/week.

In a way I've kind of used COVID as an excuse to not go back to some kind of steady work, but on the other hand I really have no financial need to go back either.
A few years ago there was a sharing of wealth from my parents. This sharing came in the form of half of their wealth ($2MM+) by way of a mortgage lending business my father ran (even up to the age of his death this past January. He was 91).
Further to that, since his death, all of the remaining mortgage business he continued to run has also passed to me (another $2MM).

So in summary, while I consider myself to be fully retired at 51, I still earn an after-tax (NET) annual interest income of $200K+ (Canadian).
My monthly gross income is $34K and my monthly expenses are $25K. This includes all income tax payable, etc., leaving me with ~$8-9K savings/month, which over time I lend out again as mortgages earning higher and higher interest income.

Add to this my total net worth (if I liquidated everything I own) is currently over $8MM (Canadian), and you can see why I've pretty much abandoned any plans of returning to any kind of work.

COVID put a real hamper on my initial plans to do some travelling in my first year of retirement, and we are just clawing back out of the isolation state now. However, my father's recent death has left me in primary care of my mother (which at times can be almost like a part-time job), so I'm not free to travel as easily now that COVID is lifting.
So I've spent money on things rather than experiences lately, building out a world-class home theater, home renovations, etc.

We don't plan to move from our current home for another 8 years+ or until the kids of have both fully flown-the-coop.
After that, we will likely move into a smaller home (or condo) in the area (Oakville, Ontario, Canada) and travel more often - by then we will both be close to 60.

Currently, I spend my time taking care of myself (health/fitness buff) and my family (tasks/chores, etc.).
Add to this now being the primary care-giver for my 89 year old mother (I am an only child), who is in good health but is struggling emotionally with my father's recent passing.
I also have multiple hobbies (audio/video/home theater), biking, running, working out, checking out local live music and just listening to music.

But all of this seems unfulfilling at times and I struggle with my existential purpose in life.
My father was a very, very hard worker all throughout his lifetime to gather together his wealth - he was addicted to earning money, but I did not have his same life experiences - quite different actually.
I've always subscribed to the philosophy that you don't need to earn more than you need (or are going to need) and thanks to him my family has much more than we will need financially.

This leaves me much time to continue to ponder my existential purpose in life, and I often wonder if I am destined for something more than just my primary duties, working out and my other hobbies...

 

[MercyMe]

I’m not retired yet but my biggest worry is what I will do with my “self”. Everyone tells me to make sure I’m running to something, and not away from something else.

OP, I highly recommend reading Man’s Search for Meanng by Viktor Frankl. It is a relatively short book with some incredible insight. Don’t skip the first half! You need that gut punch to fully grasp the second half.

 

[Koolau]

I’m not retired yet but my biggest worry is what I will do with my “self”. Everyone tells me to make sure I’m running to something, and not away from something else.

OP, I highly recommend reading Man’s Search for Meanng by Viktor Frankl. It is a relatively short book with some incredible insight. Don’t skip the first half! You need that gut punch to fully grasp the second half.

My dad could never deal with retirement. He HAD to have a j*b to be fulfilled. He wouldn't do volunteer work (though he raised a huge garden every year and gave away most of his produce.)

I never had that problem. Maybe I'm lazy (I like to call it unmotivated) but having no particular schedule or place to be every day never bothered me in the least. In fact, that was one of the reasons I FIREd.

 

[Markola]

And, somehow, staying away from “news” and politics as much as one can manage in our hyper-politicized country. I can be enjoying a beautiful, peaceful morning reading and drinking coffee, when some financial website, or comment from DW, leads me to Google News, and 10 minutes later, I realize my curiosity has caused my stomach to turn to acid. I fortunately have hobbies and other topics to fill my reading and podcast time but infotainment is always lurking to fill, like a poison gas, any void in my hard-won free time.

 

[Sittler27]

It can be challenging for those who have focused their entire lives on their careers to transition into retirement. I'd recommend reading Ernie Zelinski, "The Joy of Not Working". It may help you find your way.

It's nice to see someone also from the GTA. I'm actually in a similar situation. Retired from an IT job 6 years ago in my mid 40's. I have 2 teenagers as well. I find that they take up a lot of time and energy and also keep me on a regular schedule. I won't consider myself fully retired until they are off on their own.

The biggest thing I miss about working is the social aspect. It's a challenge finding early retirees to socialize with.
DM me if you want to chat.

DM sent - we are in very similar situations for sure.

I’m not retired yet but my biggest worry is what I will do with my “self”. Everyone tells me to make sure I’m running to something, and not away from something else.

OP, I highly recommend reading Man’s Search for Meanng by Viktor Frankl. It is a relatively short book with some incredible insight. Don’t skip the first half! You need that gut punch to fully grasp the second half.

Read it already - good book.

Also read "5 people you meet in heaven" recommended by another member - good book.

And, somehow, staying away from “news” and politics as much as one can manage in our hyper-politicized country. I can be enjoying a beautiful, peaceful morning reading and drinking coffee, when some financial website, or comment from DW, leads me to Google News, and 10 minutes later, I realize my curiosity has caused my stomach to turn to acid. I fortunately have hobbies and other topics to fill my reading and podcast time but infotainment is always lurking to fill, like a poison gas, any void in my hard-won free time.

Totally agree - hard to stay away from reading the news with your devices always nearby. I've found an ereader helps so as to not be tempted at least for a few hours.

 

[marko]

And, somehow, staying away from “news” and politics as much as one can manage in our hyper-politicized country. I can be enjoying a beautiful, peaceful morning reading and drinking coffee, when some financial website, or comment from DW, leads me to Google News, and 10 minutes later, I realize my curiosity has caused my stomach to turn to acid.

My FIFB (FI from birth) uncle lived contentedly in this strange, out of touch bubble. One of his favorite exclamations was "What does that have to do with me?" He didn't really care about--and was barely aware of--anything that didn't affect him directly. Selfish or wisdom (?), I don't know.

But I suppose that attitude also would answer the OP's "quest for meaning" question as well. Maybe during our work days, we already completed the 'meaning' checklist somehow--contributed something to mankind, however small--and now it's just time to enjoy what's rest of our lives.

Backing into that attitude a bit, I think sometimes we all get worked up over things that "have nothing to do with me". Sometimes I do ask myself that question and realize the answer is often "nothing" while the rest of the world is near outrage.

Funny: The old man had a big Jag and I asked him what he got for gas mileage.
"I have no idea"
me: "How often do you fill it up?"
"Twice a week"
me: "Twice a week??! You only drive about 100 miles a week!".
"Well, I figure it must be a small tank"

 

[COcheesehead]

There are very few things people can actually change, but almost all of them are within you.

 

[Chuckanut]

And, somehow, staying away from “news” and politics as much as one can manage in our hyper-politicized country. I can be enjoying a beautiful, peaceful morning reading and drinking coffee, when some financial website, or comment from DW, leads me to Google News, and 10 minutes later, I realize my curiosity has caused my stomach to turn to acid. I fortunately have hobbies and other topics to fill my reading and podcast time but infotainment is always lurking to fill, like a poison gas, any void in my hard-won free time.

I try to limit the news I hear and read.

What I have found is those who scream the loudest and make the news, are in a small minority. Shopping, walking through the park, having coffee at a local coffee shop, etc. I rarely hear people getting very upset about the things that people shout about on the news. They have their beliefs and differences but they don't get all worked up, shouting and screaming, stirring up bad feelings, like the folks on the news do.

Plus, most of the people in the news and infotainment business aren't that bright anyway. They pontificate as though they are experienced experts, but in reality I believe they suffer from the Dunning Krueger Effect. Dunning-Krueger describes people who are unaware of their own mental limitations.

 

[Koolau]

I try to keep throwable objects away from my TV chair. TVs are expensive - unless you are Elvis, I guess. I would imagine a .45 through an old tube-type TV would have been an impressive event. With some news broadcasts these days, it might even be appropriate... NAHHHHHhhhhh! But YMMV.

 

[Gumby]

If she said it once, my mother said it to me a million times - "mind your own damned business." I doubt she was concerned about my mental health later in life when she said that, but I have found it calming to concentrate on the stuff that directly affects me and over which I have some control. The rest is useless noise.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

My FIFB (FI from birth) uncle lived contentedly in this strange, out of touch bubble. One of his favorite exclamations was "What does that have to do with me?" He didn't really care about--and was barely aware of--anything that didn't affect him directly. Selfish or wisdom (?), I don't know.

But I suppose that attitude also would answer the OP's "quest for meaning" question as well. Maybe during our work days, we already completed the 'meaning' checklist somehow--contributed something to mankind, however small--and now it's just time to enjoy what's rest of our lives.

Jamie Johnson made a documentary of trust funds kids and there was a kind of angst of what to with their lives in some of them. Wikipedia described him in the film as "He seeks out how to be a productive person, avoiding the dysfunction that he sees affecting many of the very rich.

I think for many of us plebians we've had how to be productive thrust upon us in order to pay rent and buy groceries since we were high school or college age. I'm happy now just not having to work. Yesterday we walked around a lake and spent some time sitting on a bench in a Redwood Grove just enjoying the views. I'm glad there are people out there who are trying to solve world hunger, but DH and I just trying to stay healthy and enjoy simple pleasures like that in our retirement.


ETA - the documentary was called Born Rich. I though it was well done.

 

[Chuckanut]

If she said it once, my mother said it to me a million times - "mind your own damned business." I doubt she was concerned about my mental health later in life when she said that, but I have found it calming to concentrate on the stuff that directly affects me and over which I have some control. The rest is useless noise.

In the field of education there is something called Locus of Control. Some people have an internal LOC, these are the ones who say "I got an A on the test because I studied hard and did all my homework." Others have an external LOC and say "I got an A on the test because I remind the teacher of his favorite grandchild." Part of having an internal LOC is knowing what lies in one's circle of control. If you don't, you can go nuts. IOW, mind you're own business.

 

[Koolau]

If she said it once, my mother said it to me a million times - "mind your own damned business." I doubt she was concerned about my mental health later in life when she said that, but I have found it calming to concentrate on the stuff that directly affects me and over which I have some control. The rest is useless noise.

Oh that nations could take your mothers valuable advice.

 

[Koolau]

Jamie Johnson made a documentary of trust funds kids and there was a kind of angst of what to with their lives in some of them. Wikipedia described him in the film as "He seeks out how to be a productive person, avoiding the dysfunction that he sees affecting many of the very rich.

I think for many of us plebians we've had how to be productive thrust upon us in order to pay rent and buy groceries since we were high school or college age. I'm happy now just not having to work. Yesterday we walked around a lake and spent some time sitting on a bench in a Redwood Grove just enjoying the views. I'm glad there are people out there who are trying to solve world hunger, but DH and I just trying to stay healthy and enjoy simple pleasures like that in our retirement.


ETA - the documentary was called Born Rich. I though it was well done.

I think rich parents can make all the difference to their kids' futures - just as poor parent can. Money is a tool and should be treated as such. If I had been rich, I would have done the same things with my kids as we did as middle-class parents. I would have high expectations of each child. Each child would have chores and responsibilities. We would be there to assist. We would tolerate mistakes/failures but not bail out bad decisions - especially due to willful disobedience. YMMV

 

[RobbieB]

My dad could never deal with retirement. He HAD to have a j*b to be fulfilled. He wouldn't do volunteer work (though he raised a huge garden every year and gave away most of his produce.)

I never had that problem. Maybe I'm lazy (I like to call it unmotivated) but having no particular schedule or place to be every day never bothered me in the least. In fact, that was one of the reasons I FIREd.

My Dad took a consulting job (big bucks of course) after he retired. Two weeks in he realized this was just like working and he didn't need the dough.

So he quit. But after he completed the job he was working on because they begged him.

I learned a lot from Pops and that was another. I'm retired. I'm done. Have more than enough hobbies to keep me busy -

 

[Koolau]

My Dad took a consulting job (big bucks of course) after he retired. Two weeks in he realized this was just like working and he didn't need the dough.

So he quit. But after he completed the job he was working on because they begged him.

I learned a lot from Pops and that was another. I'm retired. I'm done. Have more than enough hobbies to keep me busy -

My dad's last j*b was night watchman at a youth halfway house. He made minimum wage and really enjoyed it. Troubled teens stayed there and got counseling and occupational training during the day.

At night, they had separate dorm rooms for boys and girls. It was illegal to lock the kids in their rooms (the entire facility was unlocked from the inside) so my dad's job was to keep the boys in their rooms and the girls in their rooms. He was 77 or 78 at the time.

A couple of the boys thought they could back him down - but they were wrong. In his spare time dad would grab a broom and then a mop and clean the floors - not required. During TV time and meals dad unofficially counseled kids by telling them what it was like before such places existed. He was able to tell them what it was like to go hungry - for a week. He told them what it was like making a living traveling town to town under a passenger train or inside a box car to the next j*b. The railroad dicks were well named. He told the kids stories of his time as a cowboy - having never ridden a horse in his life.

The kids really warmed up to him and he was a real hit with them. Of course, each new kid or batch of kids was a new challenge. Not my idea of a good j*b but my dad loved it. YMMV

 

[Bamaman]

I went into ER at age 58 when MegaCorp decided to consolidate operations and send everyone 55 and older to the house. I'd never intended to work that long anyway and had plenty of hobbies to take my time. My father also retired young, and we were building something most all the time--like our lake house. I was prepared for ER mentally and physically.

When my daughter had a couple of children, I didn't realize that we'd be raising a little girl full time--now 10 years of age. Our lives are centered around getting her to school and raising her the right way through church. Her 14 year old brother is with us every other weekend and much of the summers.

My wife has had severe arthritis for the last 20 years, and is in a stage of deterioration. She has had a couple of bouts of AFIB in the last year and recently had pneumonia. Many people are finding that COVID has negatively affected their health--especially hearts and COPD leaning issues.

I spend 2-3 days many weeks driving my wife to doctors in 3 different cities. We were told last week that back surgery must be done, and it's so bad the surgery will be done on 2 days. In the meantime, my wife is in great pain--without proper medication due to states not allowing doctors to prescribe proper meds.

Although we're in our early 70's, we never thought about retirement coming in stages. Sometimes we're taking care of our aging parents. Then we have to take care of each other when healthcare conditions arise. And sometimes we have to change plans for our retirement years taking care of others--like our grandchildren. And the years are going by faster and faster. We're just thankful we lived below our means and have the resources to maintain our lifestyle. I'd hate to end up living in an old run down nursing home out in the middle of nowhere.

 

[Koolau]

I went into ER at age 58 when MegaCorp decided to consolidate operations and send everyone 55 and older to the house. I'd never intended to work that long anyway and had plenty of hobbies to take my time. My father also retired young, and we were building something most all the time--like our lake house. I was prepared for ER mentally and physically.

When my daughter had a couple of children, I didn't realize that we'd be raising a little girl full time--now 10 years of age. Our lives are centered around getting her to school and raising her the right way through church. Her 14 year old brother is with us every other weekend and much of the summers.

My wife has had severe arthritis for the last 20 years, and is in a stage of deterioration. She has had a couple of bouts of AFIB in the last year and recently had pneumonia. Many people are finding that COVID has negatively affected their health--especially hearts and COPD leaning issues.

I spend 2-3 days many weeks driving my wife to doctors in 3 different cities. We were told last week that back surgery must be done, and it's so bad the surgery will be done on 2 days. In the meantime, my wife is in great pain--without proper medication due to states not allowing doctors to prescribe proper meds.

Although we're in our early 70's, we never thought about retirement coming in stages. Sometimes we're taking care of our aging parents. Then we have to take care of each other when healthcare conditions arise. And sometimes we have to change plans for our retirement years taking care of others--like our grandchildren. And the years are going by faster and faster. We're just thankful we lived below our means and have the resources to maintain our lifestyle. I'd hate to end up living in an old run down nursing home out in the middle of nowhere.

True enough, life rarely turns out the way we planned or even hoped. Sometimes I think our car knows its way to the doc's offices. The one thing we so far seemed to have done right is save well and invest adequately. Issues like you are facing (as are we to perhaps a lesser extent) could be magnified without means. I thank God that we are blessed with resources if not good health. Blessings on you and your DW! Aloha.

 

[cyber888]

Hey everyone,



I'm a 51 year old father of two teenagers (17/15) and husband to my beautiful wife (50).

My wife has been retired for about 4 years now, but I stepped away from a 27 year career in the fairly lucrative corporate meeting-after-meeting world in Feb 2020, unbeknownst to me about a month before COVID lockdowns began.



I was an IT best practice consultant pimping myself out to large Canadian corporations and enduring meeting after relentless meeting of gibberish.

I couldn't take the relentless demands and workloads anymore, so my plan at the time was to take "a few months off" to recalibrate myself to a career change towards something more hands-on (but entirely less lucrative).



With COVID lockdowns though, I really haven't gone back to anything job-related and will say I am pretty much fully retired at this point apart from running a personal mortgage business that takes up <4hrs of my time/week.



In a way I've kind of used COVID as an excuse to not go back to some kind of steady work, but on the other hand I really have no financial need to go back either.

A few years ago there was a sharing of wealth from my parents. This sharing came in the form of half of their wealth ($2MM+) by way of a mortgage lending business my father ran (even up to the age of his death this past January. He was 91).

Further to that, since his death, all of the remaining mortgage business he continued to run has also passed to me (another $2MM).



So in summary, while I consider myself to be fully retired at 51, I still earn an after-tax (NET) annual interest income of $200K+ (Canadian).

My monthly gross income is $34K and my monthly expenses are $25K. This includes all income tax payable, etc., leaving me with ~$8-9K savings/month, which over time I lend out again as mortgages earning higher and higher interest income.



Add to this my total net worth (if I liquidated everything I own) is currently over $8MM (Canadian), and you can see why I've pretty much abandoned any plans of returning to any kind of work.



COVID put a real hamper on my initial plans to do some travelling in my first year of retirement, and we are just clawing back out of the isolation state now. However, my father's recent death has left me in primary care of my mother (which at times can be almost like a part-time job), so I'm not free to travel as easily now that COVID is lifting.

So I've spent money on things rather than experiences lately, building out a world-class home theater, home renovations, etc.



We don't plan to move from our current home for another 8 years+ or until the kids of have both fully flown-the-coop.

After that, we will likely move into a smaller home (or condo) in the area (Oakville, Ontario, Canada) and travel more often - by then we will both be close to 60.



Currently, I spend my time taking care of myself (health/fitness buff) and my family (tasks/chores, etc.).

Add to this now being the primary care-giver for my 89 year old mother (I am an only child), who is in good health but is struggling emotionally with my father's recent passing.

I also have multiple hobbies (audio/video/home theater), biking, running, working out, checking out local live music and just listening to music.



But all of this seems unfulfilling at times and I struggle with my existential purpose in life.

My father was a very, very hard worker all throughout his lifetime to gather together his wealth - he was addicted to earning money, but I did not have his same life experiences - quite different actually.

I've always subscribed to the philosophy that you don't need to earn more than you need (or are going to need) and thanks to him my family has much more than we will need financially.



This leaves me much time to continue to ponder my existential purpose in life, and I often wonder if I am destined for something more than just my primary duties, working out and my other hobbies...

Try meditation and Tibetan or Zen Buddhism

 

[Dash man]

I went into ER at age 58 when MegaCorp decided to consolidate operations and send everyone 55 and older to the house. I'd never intended to work that long anyway and had plenty of hobbies to take my time. My father also retired young, and we were building something most all the time--like our lake house. I was prepared for ER mentally and physically.

When my daughter had a couple of children, I didn't realize that we'd be raising a little girl full time--now 10 years of age. Our lives are centered around getting her to school and raising her the right way through church. Her 14 year old brother is with us every other weekend and much of the summers.

My wife has had severe arthritis for the last 20 years, and is in a stage of deterioration. She has had a couple of bouts of AFIB in the last year and recently had pneumonia. Many people are finding that COVID has negatively affected their health--especially hearts and COPD leaning issues.

I spend 2-3 days many weeks driving my wife to doctors in 3 different cities. We were told last week that back surgery must be done, and it's so bad the surgery will be done on 2 days. In the meantime, my wife is in great pain--without proper medication due to states not allowing doctors to prescribe proper meds.

Although we're in our early 70's, we never thought about retirement coming in stages. Sometimes we're taking care of our aging parents. Then we have to take care of each other when healthcare conditions arise. And sometimes we have to change plans for our retirement years taking care of others--like our grandchildren. And the years are going by faster and faster. We're just thankful we lived below our means and have the resources to maintain our lifestyle. I'd hate to end up living in an old run down nursing home out in the middle of nowhere.

We find reputable charitable organizations and help support them either financially or filling a need. We’ve also taken on sponsorships of children in Honduras and Haiti, and have helped a school in Tanzania with the cost of a water well.
We’re very involved with our Catholic Parish helping wherever and whenever we can.
There are many needs out there and helping those in need is very fulfilling.

 

[target2019]

Hey everyone,

I'm a 51 year old father of two teenagers (17/15) and husband to my beautiful wife (50).
My wife has been retired for about 4 years now, but I stepped away from a 27 year career in the fairly lucrative corporate meeting-after-meeting world in Feb 2020, unbeknownst to me about a month before COVID lockdowns began.

I was an IT best practice consultant pimping myself out to large Canadian corporations and enduring meeting after relentless meeting of gibberish.
I couldn't take the relentless demands and workloads anymore, so my plan at the time was to take "a few months off" to recalibrate myself to a career change towards something more hands-on (but entirely less lucrative).

With COVID lockdowns though, I really haven't gone back to anything job-related and will say I am pretty much fully retired at this point apart from running a personal mortgage business that takes up <4hrs of my time/week.

In a way I've kind of used COVID as an excuse to not go back to some kind of steady work, but on the other hand I really have no financial need to go back either.
A few years ago there was a sharing of wealth from my parents. This sharing came in the form of half of their wealth ($2MM+) by way of a mortgage lending business my father ran (even up to the age of his death this past January. He was 91).
Further to that, since his death, all of the remaining mortgage business he continued to run has also passed to me (another $2MM).

So in summary, while I consider myself to be fully retired at 51, I still earn an after-tax (NET) annual interest income of $200K+ (Canadian).
My monthly gross income is $34K and my monthly expenses are $25K. This includes all income tax payable, etc., leaving me with ~$8-9K savings/month, which over time I lend out again as mortgages earning higher and higher interest income.

Add to this my total net worth (if I liquidated everything I own) is currently over $8MM (Canadian), and you can see why I've pretty much abandoned any plans of returning to any kind of work.

COVID put a real hamper on my initial plans to do some travelling in my first year of retirement, and we are just clawing back out of the isolation state now. However, my father's recent death has left me in primary care of my mother (which at times can be almost like a part-time job), so I'm not free to travel as easily now that COVID is lifting.
So I've spent money on things rather than experiences lately, building out a world-class home theater, home renovations, etc.

We don't plan to move from our current home for another 8 years+ or until the kids of have both fully flown-the-coop.
After that, we will likely move into a smaller home (or condo) in the area (Oakville, Ontario, Canada) and travel more often - by then we will both be close to 60.

Currently, I spend my time taking care of myself (health/fitness buff) and my family (tasks/chores, etc.).
Add to this now being the primary care-giver for my 89 year old mother (I am an only child), who is in good health but is struggling emotionally with my father's recent passing.
I also have multiple hobbies (audio/video/home theater), biking, running, working out, checking out local live music and just listening to music.

But all of this seems unfulfilling at times and I struggle with my existential purpose in life.
My father was a very, very hard worker all throughout his lifetime to gather together his wealth - he was addicted to earning money, but I did not have his same life experiences - quite different actually.
I've always subscribed to the philosophy that you don't need to earn more than you need (or are going to need) and thanks to him my family has much more than we will need financially.

This leaves me much time to continue to ponder my existential purpose in life, and I often wonder if I am destined for something more than just my primary duties, working out and my other hobbies...

You wrote, "But all of this seems unfulfilling at times and I struggle with my existential purpose in life."

You're still moving mentally from career to more care-giving roles. As part of that you have significant wealth to look after. What is probably missing is the thrill of the hunt in that consulting business. Lots of I, I, I win. Now your rewards come from caring and family endeavors.

When retirement, COVID and stage IV hit me in a few months, I withdrew, contemplated each step, accepted it, and moved forward with daughter's wedding, trip to Germany, etc.

There are many ways to find peace with your existence. I think in this thread you've heard about books and ideas that will guide you.

Good luck with your retirement.