Been awhile start of 2024 update....
Me-Age 44 Salary $150k/year
Side hustle hobby (true desire) currently making $150K
Wife-49 Salary $150K/year
We have: no debt other than $320K Mortgage, no student loans left, no c-card, no cars, no expensive hobbies other than we love to travel when possible
Expenses: including leisure would be around $100K/year (would like to bump this up and start to travel more in 2024 and beyond)
$ status:
$525K cash (in process of moving into various investments)
$1,220,000 in 401K accounts
$600K in Vanguard brokerage account (up and down 4th on this one)
$230K in annuity rolled over from previous life policy
***look to be in good shape if can keep the course--still struggling with concepts of what easing out of sales/production role looks like--age 45 still seems early, but totally ready for it--constant battle here mentally
***Fun to look back on this thread after awhile and see progress on paper--I am stuck in a rut between knowing that I can do some different things and actually doing them--hoping to wrap my head around that this year and keep things on course.
as always input and advice are always welcome!
Hi there... me again (the little evil dude that sits on your shoulder and asks really hard questions like "what if?"
I remember you writing in 2020 and saying
Since the sale I am realizing that this is not actually what I want... and am beginning to value my time and freedom far more than adding more $ to the ledger.
Im sure you'll get a plethora of responses here about number and accounts and tax strategies... but what always gets lost in the mix is the bigger questions about what really matter in life (hint: not dollars). Since its unlikely many others will... let's focus on -
happiness.
I always find it odd that people make updates here year by year with growing numbers and plans and timelines but very few talk about how happy they are, how much they've reduced stress, how excited they are for having added "X" events or experiences to their life in the last year.
in 2020 you shared that you had about $1.3-1.5M and were making more money from your side hustle (true desire) than the job you realized you didn't want to do.
I may be reading your update wrong, but my fear is that it seems like you're still actively doing that job that you talked about not wanting to be doing 4yrs ago.
Back then you were asking specifically about "what was reasonable" about stepping away and:
not leaving your family in the poor house and begging for food".
Now you've almost doubled those numbers and it seems like you're asking similar questions.
All due respect... but for perspective - it's pretty difficult to imagine you and your family begging for food.
On the contrary. Have you also asked yourself what you'd do if you knew right now that one of you wouldn't make it to 60 (or 55)? Or if an injury/accident/health crisis/family event would limit your ability to go do/enjoy the things you've beed dreaming of?
Look, I get it.
I remember all these $ fears (and I still have some days now...), but I've also collected more memories and sunrises/sunsets in exotic locations and freedom/happiness in the last 12yrs than I ever thought was possible in a full lifetime (and to be clear... we left with SO MUCH less than you had (and NO plans to make more) when you posted here 4yrs ago, much less now.
You're doing amazing work.
You clearly have you're whole life!
At what point do you sit down and make spreadsheets and "plans" that are more focused on that travel you wanted to do, the places you wanted to go, the experiences you want to share, spending time with your family rather than putting money into an account for them? Your passions and dreams?
I would personally suggest moving away from the spreadsheet and making other lists (doesn't happen or at the least doesn't get reported very much here).
Pour yourselves a glass of wine or a cocktail, sit down with a blank sheet of paper and brainstorm, ideate, write your hopes and dreams with wild abandon without a thought or care for how to pay for them or how you'll get there... let your childlike wonder brain take over and refuse to set rules or limits.
See where it goes. Then look back and see which of those things excite you the most. Was it "no longer working at the job", was it "wine tasting through South America and Asia" was it "riding on the orient express" or "sailing though French Polynesia and smimming with many rays"?
I don't know you well enough to know which of those things are your travel dreams but I know you have them because you mentioned them 4yrs ago.
Here's the thing.
When most people think about their spouse, or their father/grandfather later on... they don't often wish they had more money left behind, they wish they had spent more (quality) time with them. When most people reflect on their own life at the end they don't wish they put another $1M in the bank - they wish they'd left a bit earlier to spend more of it.
We all know you've spent ample time worrying about what happens if you leave to soon and run out of money (because you told us) - but have you truly spent the same amount of time thinking about what happens if you wait too long and don't get to enjoy the fruits of your labor?
Reality says that most of us will die, or have a medical event, or decide we aren't comfortable leaving "at this phase" of the family or grandkids' life and never go at all. If that's a choice someone made intentionally because that's what all the dreaming and visioning told them was their "happy place" than I am ALL FOR IT... but if your desires and true passions are to be traveling and working only on that side hustle - then why aren't you?
Here's the thing I've learned after pulling that terrifying plug and taking the leap 12yrs ago - YOU CAN ALWAYS GO BACK!!
This firm line that everyone is trying to draw attached to random number/calculation at the bottom of a spreadsheet simply isn't written in sharpie.
The world (and your accounts and your decisions) are not black and white. Every day you are out there living/enjoying life is a day you're still breathing (and therefore winning). You still get to make decisions about where to save or splurge, you can still take projects and/or sell things while traveling and living the life of your dreams (ask me how I know).
I am stuck in a rut between knowing that I can do some different things and actually doing them--hoping to wrap my head around that this year and keep things on course.
I have a secret for you - you CAN ACTUALLY live an amazing life AND make more money... but that seems really difficult to see when stuck inside the box we were all told was the "only way" and when everyone writing you is also terrified of leaving so they keep telling you that the number needs to be higher "to be safe"
Here's a thought (happens to be very similar to what we did):
What if...
- You set a date on the calendar for next year (I don't know, maybe 2/17/2025?).
- Put it on your calendar (in sharpie) tell everyone you're leaving
- Make whatever plans/preparations/reservations are needed.
- You spend the next year wrapping up the business(es) and rent the house, you purge belongings and/or move them into a storage facility - and
- on that day you walk away and travel for one entire year.
....side note here. Pause for just a moment - to truly check in with yourself and see how even the idea of that made you feel inside.... a little bit of terror, or was that excitement? Were those butterflies and giddiness looking to escape? Let those voices talk a bit more rather than trying to quite them - they might just have some amazing ideas!
At the the end of that year (or more likely several points along the way) you check in with yourself and you:
- Ask yourself how happy you are
- Check in on the accounts (occasionally, and less often month by month)
- Ask yourself if you miss working/projects or if there's a trip you really want to take next.
- Did you spend more or less $ than you thought in a year away from the jobs?
- Did you enjoy it more or less than you expected?
- Is the mortgage sufficiently being paid by someone else while you're away?
Here's the beauty... after that... YOU then get to decide. All over again.
Maybe you go back and work/earn for another year or two.
Seriously... that life that you left behind is known and easy.
You've done that your entire life and I assure you - you CAN ALWAYS GO BACK!
But maybe, like us...
you don't.
Maybe you realize like so many others out here traveling the world - that after tasting the other side for a year the last thing you want is to go back.
So you look at those same numbers/spreadsheets you know so well from a different perspective.
One that's about how to prolong WHILE living life. Whether you WANT to take projects because you actually enjoyed them rather than because you need the money, etc. What if like many, you learned that you actually traveled all year for less than you thought (or even less than you spent while working the year before)?
Right now the simply fact is you're trying to plan/guess about (literally) your entire life - based on only having one side of the truth/experience. Go see the other side and make decisions with all the facts (or at least a LOT MORE of them).
Go take a gap year for yourself.
Sure, Europe would have suggested doing it between high school and college but how much more will you enjoy it now!!?
Go see the other side and then decide what to do the following year.
Then rinse and repeat the more you learn.
Oh... and I mean this next bit in all seriousness.
We spend a LOT of time talking to others who are looking to make great (but scary) change in their life. IF we can help in any way please don't hesitate to reach out.
I know its scary... but trust us, its worth it! YOU GOT THIS!
