Are your neighbors insane?

[John Galt III]

I don't know too many of my neighbors, but I definitely have my doubts about the closest one.

He mows his lawn 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes 2 days in a row. And when he mows, he does it for hours, going back and forth over the same area several times.

Sometimes I think he's just driving the tractor and the mower is not engaged. I don't know why he'd do that, but it would make more sense than mowing his lawn when it was just mowed the day before.

We always wave when we see each other, and I have never had any problems with him. While listening to his tractor going back and forth for a couple of hours can sometimes be annoying, it's certainly better than a lot of the neighbor stories I've heard!

I have a neighbor like that. Not only does she mow every 3 or 4 days, but she has to use a leaf blower every few days to blow any dust off the street, away from her property. Seems like she is always out there blowing or mowing. I've had normal conversations with her, and she is a nice lady. Once, she told me, unprompted by me, that she has a compulsion to mow and use the blower that she can't control. Sort of like hoarders, I suppose. Obsessive-compulsive.

 

[rodi]

If by "insane" you mean: rude, arrogant, self-centered, stupid, unbelievably opinionated and downright annoying; then yes,

This is my experience. I'm active in some local planning/community groups so I've met some of the more vocal and prolific next door people.... And they are remarkably similar in real life.... Living in a belief that they are entitled to special privilege and stating so vocally.

The mute person/mute thread feature works well when things go sideways on nextdoor.... Kind of like ignore member here on ER.org.

 

[steelyman]

I joined Nextdoor a little reluctantly, but after reading some positive recommendations here on e-r.org (clearly not on this thread!).

So far, so good. But I haven’t posted or replied to any discussions, just a lurker who mostly ignores the traffic. I’m not big on social media and try to protect my privacy although that gets harder and harder to do it seems.

Not much crime in the area, some notices of traffic disruptions, lost pets, and recently copperhead sightings. A few announcements of events that are interesting (meeting/interacting with new people in person is preferable to me vs online).

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Most of our neighbors are good, but it seems I always get the crazy one next door. On one side, the man we call Mr. Yard obsesses over his lawn, which is actually a good thing, but he has no people skills whatsoever. At first I tried to engage him but he just stared at me then ignored me, which he does to this day - he can be ten feet from me and it's as if I'm not there, so I now return the favor. The only really bad thing is when he burns his debris next to my property line and our house reeks of smoke. His only response when approached about it was "I been burnin' here for twenty years."

Behind us is a large lot that was surrounded by my subdivision when it was built. They have a junkyard with several abandoned cars and boats, and a lot of various crap like old washing machines, ductwork, etc. They like to move it around and make a lot of noise at 10:00 PM (sometimes I wonder where they are finding that stuff!) Once in a while they will light a huge fire late at night - once it was getting a bit out of control so we called the fire dept. who put it out. I'm sure they think we're the crazy neighbors.

 

[ls99]

The North American Imbecile (Imbecilus Borealis Americae) is at home in all environments from the northern tundra to the southern deserts.

They reproduce rapidly and often loudly. They consume all available resources and their dwellings are often in poor repair. They will encroach on the habitat of more intelligent species if allowed to do so.

Best avoided or ignored if possible.

And they vote! Often.

 

[WestUniversity]

Sadly most posts I see on our Nextdoor site are either trying to sell some of their stuff or they are ranting about something. I’m sorry but I have no bandwidth for that...

 

[copyright1997reloaded]

Posting this to no one in specific, just a general observation:

I'm always amazed by people who move to a rural area, then complain about the people who have lived there generations before them (e.g. cars in the yard). It was there before you got there...if you didn't want that, why did you move there?

 

[ShokWaveRider]

We have good neighbors, in our whole community we have only a couple of what I would call busybodies, like to voice their opinions, one edits the community newsletter, but they are really harmless, and not overbearing as they have been criticized for it in the past and tend to heed the advice. I think in a Gated CC that has over 600 homes, that is not bad.

They all have differing political leanings but seem to manage to be civil when we talk about it. Most I would consider to be relatively affluent upper middle class, Their leanings and opinions reflect that. About 60% are retired and most seem to own their homes outright. As a previous poster mentioned, most are (or were) Business owners, Doctors, Specialists, Lawyers, Engineers, CEOs or other Professional Types.

Some of us are not as flush as others, and again our leanings and opinions reflect it too. We do not avoid political discussions and we are all friends. Funny how that can happen in a civilized community. Everybody is respectful of others and their opinions, and there seem to be no rebels. Even our community meetings are pleasurable.

Some of us get harassed more as we are not members of the Golf Club, but it is mostly in jest. As I have expressed before, one buys one's neighbors and the community one chooses to live in. Being FI gives one choices, that is priceless.

We do have a nextdoor.com community and I have seen no issues there.

 

[street]

Posting this to no one in specific, just a general observation:

I'm always amazed by people who move to a rural area, then complain about the people who have lived there generations before them (e.g. cars in the yard). It was there before you got there...if you didn't want that, why did you move there?

Absolutely! I see that often where people that never lived any place but BIG city and move to rural, and try to change the culture of 4 tp 5 generation homesteaders.

 

[Amethyst]

My observation has been that some people go through life asserting overweening privilege - because it works for them, and they don't mind the breakage it also causes.

They are a species of con artist. Enough people are intimidated by their act, into doing what they want or getting out of their way, that they find it easier and more profitable than honesty and hard work.

This is my experience. I'm active in some local planning/community groups so I've met some of the more vocal and prolific next door people.... And they are remarkably similar in real life.... Living in a belief that they are entitled to special privilege and stating so vocally.

.

 

[calmloki]

The North American Imbecile (Imbecilus Borealis Americae) is at home in all environments from the northern tundra to the southern deserts.

They reproduce rapidly and often loudly. They consume all available resources and their dwellings are often in poor repair. They will encroach on the habitat of more intelligent species if allowed to do so.

Best avoided or ignored if possible.

Old dumb movie that has turned out to be pretty scarily prophetic: Idiocracy

I don't expect much from our neighbors and am happy enough with them. Up north we have the alcoholic/drug addict next door. She is very creative and thus far harmless - some years she has screaming fights with her guests, a few nights ago she was splitting wood on her old wood floored front porch. Big booms! as the log rounds bounced when hit with a maul. I suspect her power and heat were shut off.She put an amazing amount of energy into it - poor lady - I've great respect for her durability and stamina given the years of meth use I suspect. We also have a couple who were foreclosed upon and moved into a scrappy little house across the street - they are gardeners and have a wealth of plants - draws all attention away from the house. Nice folks too.

 

[kcowan]

We have just sold our place and are moving for three reasons:
1) The location no longer suits our lifestyle
2) Neighbor to the west
3) Neighbor to the east.

I could go on but I agree with OP.

 

[kgtest]

Our closest neighbors are fine. Everyone struggles personally. I might actually be the annoying neighbor...who knows. I had to tell my neighbors to turn off there super bright starry string lights at night. They were running them all night long and the light pollution was terrible. I think I might have cut down there tree on accident and perhaps it was revenge. But they complied. And we still BS...but we don't really have a choice.

Being inclusive sometimes helps, but then sometimes it becomes a mistake. I sat on a neighborhood board meeting once and realized how different people and there priorities were...to the point I never returned lol

 

[kgtest]

Neighbors are fine in an analog sense.

NextDoor, however, and everyone on it, is terrible. I wanted to move within a month of joining, it was actually a little depressing. I wish I never had joined, and quickly changed it so I'm only notified for crime/safety/urgent alert stuff (which still is abused by the loonies).

When I do move? I'm now very definitely not joining NextDoor in my new neighborhood!

It's kinda like that saying "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and erase all doubt." NextDoor opens those mouths and they start yelling foolishly...

I just received an anonymous letter encouraging me to join. I asked myself... what could I possibly be missing? And tossed the letter. I only participate in one online forum... ER.org Not enough time for any others.

 

[Carpediem]

My next door neighbor uses Nextdoor (and Facebook) to keep up with the goings-on in the neighborhood.

 

[kgtest]

Our neighborhood is a bit unique. Ocean front, enclave-like where just about everyone is living not only in the house they grew up in, but many times (like myself) in their grandparent's house. My brother up the street is living in our great-grandparent's house!

As such, not having 20-30 year mortgages for many has led to an odd FI and ER demographic. We have a few trust funders, two retired pro-athletes, some just wealthy but few in the area have ever had a 'real' job, or at least needed a real job. FIRE light?
We do have one deadbeat who tries to keep up; we almost know the repo guys by name.

Most here don't work/never worked but don't need a lot of money despite living in houses that are priced on the high side ($800K to $1.2M).

Insane? We prefer 'eccentric' but most times in a pleasant sort of way. The time after a few drinks that about 20 people carried someone's piano out into the middle of the street for a singalong comes to mind.
We have a guy who fires off a giant (I mean giant) cannon on special occasions.
We have one guy who is so meticulous that he vacuums the cracks in his sidewalk. We have a hoarder. We have the old lady who hasn't been seen outside in over 40 years. We have the 50 year old 'kid' who's still trying to launch a rock and roll career...or acting; whichever comes first.

The most insane thing? one neighbor who blew through a $1MM, her inherited house and another inherited house on Keno games. She still lives here; pays rent in the house she once owned free and clear; sad.

I won't get into my own grandparents who lived here and owned monkeys for the purpose of entertaining their drunken friends (get the monkey drunk and watch what happens!)

It's not all roses though. Some have had minor issues escalate to near nuclear level and you do have to be careful who you associate with..."the friend of my enemy is my enemy" sort of thing. But it does work most of the time.

marko this is too funny, when I started reading this reminded me of my in-laws neighborhood. THEN, I saw the 'fires a giant cannon" Soo, in-laws live on the lake..and there neighbor fires the giant cannon too. Especially when he has his fourth of july party. Problem is everyone else on the lake is having their parties too lol. Even a house full of like 50 people mean mugging and he doesn't care he is so "literally" lit up. You can tell even his own guests cringe when he lights that thing.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

I found nexdoor.com useful for buying and selling items in the direct neighborhood. Items I have Sold to neighbors so far are:

Pool Pump
Pool cleaner
Electric toaster Oven
Some Collectable China,
Power Tools

Items I have Purchased:

Outdoor Table & Chairs
Air Fryer
Bike Rack
Generator

Certainly a lot better and more pleasant than Crigslist. I only buy from our neighborhood which is gated. so I guess within reason I am a fan and happy user. I do hate the persistent Real Estate Ads in communities that I would never buy in though, but something has to pay for the service.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

We have just sold our place and are moving for three reasons:
1) The location no longer suits our lifestyle
2) Neighbor to the west
3) Neighbor to the east.

I could go on but I agree with OP.

Mexico or Vancouver?

 

[pacergal]

I use Nextdoor only for safety/crime notifications and updates.
Our neighbors are pretty decent. Immediately across from us are two OCD types who keep their yard and house spiffed up on a weekly, sometimes twice weekly routine--nice to look at! Sometimes I think they are in competition with each other. All three of the ladies next door and behind are talkers, so we get to know what's going on in the neighborhood without asking--lol!
Its a very nice , quiet 1960's hood with a good blend of retirees, new empty nesters and families with young ones.

 

[Chuckanut]

There are a lot of nutty people out there.

Never forget the first law of Stupidity:

Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.

 

[Amethyst]

Well, duh. They're stupid. How could they be expected to estimate correctly?

Never forget the first law of Stupidity:

Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

In my experience Nextdoor is neighborhood dependent. In our old ‘hood there were a few who would act like trolls and jump down people’s throats, but it was always the same few people.
Now in our new ‘hood, I have yet to see an uncivilized discussion, but people also post mainly about asking for contractor recommendations and posting lost pets.
The new ‘hood is a bit more upscale. Not sure if that is any factor.

I too have noticed quite a difference but I think the difference in civility is the number of users.

In Atlanta, we lived in a fairly affluent area and had 12,000+ "neighbors." In our new location, (which is much more rural) we only have 1,600.

In ATL, it was absolute madness and the rudeness/trolling was epic and kept me off the site. In our new home, the neighborhood itself (only 35 houses all w/ acreage and mostly professionals) is very cordial...I have never seen any issues. The surrounding neighbors are also cordial and tend to sell stuff or ask questions about livestock and that's about it.

So I think it mimics real life neighborhoods. The larger number of homes in a 'hood means more opinions and more disagreements. In smaller neighborhoods, it seems like people tend to be more neighborly...at least in my experience.

If you want to be entertained by some of the Nextdoor buffoonery, search for "Best of Nextdoor" on Twitter. It may make you feel better about YOUR neighborhood! I attached a sample for your entertainment.

 

[Amethyst]

She has my complete sympathies. I would be thinking "caltrops." Unfortunately I'm sure she'll be in for lawsuits, once people start ruining their tires. I don't think you can claim that someone using your driveway is truly trespassing.

 

[jollystomper]

We have had great neighbors in our current house. When me moved into our home close to 30 years ago, more than a dozen came over at that time to welcome us to the neighborhood. Being minorities who had always lived up north, and this being an all white neighborhood below the Mason-Dixon line, we were pleasantly shocked and surprised. The properties are 1+ acre in size; before I bought a riding mover, a couple of neighbors who saw me out with a push mover came over and cut our grass, and also said we could borrow their riding mowers until we got our own, no rush.

Our five neighbors that we share property lines with have been great. We have an "open shed" policy - if someone needs a tool, feel free to look in another persons shed, if you borrow it just leave a note that you have it. We have helped each other out based on our skills. One neighbor helped us avoid a potential $700 plumbing bill by discovering the issue was a $20 part. I have help several with home computer/network problems.

Several have had kids at the same ages of our kids, no problem with them, things would get broken cause kids will be kids, everyone understood that and we all got along. If anyone was giving a party, they would notify the neighbors, invite them, and say just call if the noise gets too much.The kids are all grown and moved out, but it is nice when they are in town to visit their parents, they usually will knock on our door just to say hello.

Two of our neighbors have dogs that would always come to the property fence and make a racket whenever we were in the yard. I asked them if they minded if I gave them treats, they said fine. So when they yapped I would show them treats but not give it to them until they settled down. Now if they see me they bark, but as soon as they see me walking over with treats they get quiet and sit. After the treats, not another word from them.

I have not looked at Nextdoor, but I would not be surprised by what the Op experienced. After all, folks tend to feel freer to have no manners on the internet, and those people have to be someone's neighbors somewhere.

 

[RunningBum]

Posting this to no one in specific, just a general observation:

I'm always amazed by people who move to a rural area, then complain about the people who have lived there generations before them (e.g. cars in the yard). It was there before you got there...if you didn't want that, why did you move there?

There's also the inverse, people who have lived in a rural area but just on a small piece of land, who get bent out of shape when the land around them is developed. There was, maybe still is, a guy like that in Cary, NC, just outside of Bond Park. He had a confederate flag (even though I heard he was from Ohio), redneck signs, a cannon, a hanging gallows of some kind (or maybe just a noose), and signs complaining about how the town screwed him. Thing is, he had maybe 1/4 acre of land. If you don't want to be encroached upon, buy more land! Perhaps the town took away some land to build the park, but basically he's mostly surrounded by heavy woods, which seems ideal. They did widen the road from 5 lanes to 2, but again, buy enough land to build away from the road.