Favorite FIRE One-Liners

[freebird5825]

yet another silly but hopefully fun thread...

what are you favorite FIRE sayings, and how long are you FIREd?
Full permission to borrow my one-liners is granted if I can borrow some of yours.

"I don't want to and I don't have to"

"I'm FIREd and i'm too lazy to...[fill in the blank]"

"I've resigned myself to being FIREd."
[literally, i resigned using FERS MRA+10 deferred retirement rules]

FIRE date: April 2007

 

[unclemick]

I was unemployed until my brain decided I was ER'd. 1993.

heh heh heh - All praise to cheap bastardhood and the no. 2 pencil which I used to calculate my FI.

 

[Dreamer]

I am FIREd and do whatever I want!

I don't know how I had time to work. (This is really true. We are watching our almost 5 month old granddaughter and I asked my DH how did we ever work and rear 2 children. I was off work for 6 weeks for my DS and 3 mos for my DD and worked full-time. I truly can't remember how we managed to do everything that needed to get done.)

 

[OldGuy]

Three variations on the same theme:
1. I don't have to do that any more.
2. Nope: don't wanna.
3. I'm doing it because I want to do it, not because I have to.

Enjoy your day at w*rk (snicker...).

Well now, what are we going to do this fine day?

Sure, I've got time for another cup...

FIRE'd since 2001

 

[Khan]

"I'd rather sell a kidney than go back to work."

"Because I don't have to."

"Work is selling your time to get money to buy stuff; I have bought back my time."

 

[Nords]

1. But-- but-- but what will you DO all day?!?

2. Early retirement is my avocation!

3. Thank God it's Monday!

4. Life is good.

5. I'm retired Navy. Submarines.

6. On very quiet days spouse and I will exchange comments like "Settle down and try to pace yourself", "Oh, the stress", or "Are you feeling bored & unfulfilled yet?" We're as yet unable to share these with neighbors, relatives, or shipmates.

June 2002.

 

[dex]

Good idea - how about:

This retirement stuff isn't easy - I don't get any holidays or vacation time.

 

[travelover]

I've finally found something that I'm good at.

 

[Goonie]

I don't know how I had time to work.

That's my #1 favorite!

Plus:

I'm just a poor old retired guy, on a fixed income......and it's fixed things so well that I'll never have to work again!

 

[bbbamI]

"Oh, I guess I can figure out something to do with my time."

FIRE'd 1998...

 

[Moemg]

I'm retired so why do I still have to do housework ?

 

[Notmuchlonger]

The young ladies who cut my hair. Whadddaaaya do all day. Still my favorite line. Its fun being creative with them in what I do

 

[bbbamI]

The young ladies who cut my hair. Whadddaaaya do all day. Still my favorite line. Its fun being creative with them in what I do

I bet they enjoy every story!

 

[Notmuchlonger]

I bet they enjoy every story!

At least I get amusement out of it

 

[Payin-the-Toll]

"Before you can cross the bridge, you must pay the toll"

 

[CyclingInvestor]

--if the other person is an a***ole
them: so what do you do for a living ?
me: I retired from programming a couple years ago
them: aren't you too young to be retired ?
me: no one is too young to retire, only too poor

--otherwise
last line changes to -
me: no, I learned to spend less than I made, and to invest. not really that difficult.

 

[Caroline]

Seen on a tee shirt: Retired. This is as dressed up as I get.

Another tee shirt: Retired. Know everything, and have all day to tell it to you.

 

[mickeyd]

Why the hell did I spend so much money during my w**king years on neckties? Damn, I have a s**tload of them in the closet.

 

[gandalf42]

Comment: "You're too young to be retired."

Answer: "Hmm, they never told me there was an age requirement."

 

[harley]

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

Got this one from Calvin and Hobbes many years ago:

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

 

[Rambler]

Q: What kind of work do you do?
A: I'm an asset manager.

Q: Who do you work for?
A: Rambler, Inc.

Q: Never heard of them...who's your boss?
A: Mrs Rambler

 

[Walt34]

"What do you do all day?"

"Whatever I want to."

 

[Jeb-NY]

Here are my favorites, mostly from this board.

"I wake up each day with nothing to do and at night, fall asleep having only accomplished half of it."

Then the slight variation, I use this one all the time.

"I wake up each day with nothing planned and at night, fall asleep having only accomplished half of it and I’m OK with that."

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
- Bertrand Russell

"When I'm bored, I never think 'I wish I was at work“

"Sustainable slacker"

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
- Groucho Marx

Jeb