favorite / least favorites buzzwords from work

[steelyman]

I hate "does that make any sense" said every third sentence to get you to agree to drivel.

That's a weasel one. They don't actually commit to an opinion.

Make sense?

 

[Chelhxi]

New direction.

Except they don't tell us what the new direction is, though apparently it involves firing almost all the managers.

And employee engagement. Yeah, I'm engaged when I have no idea what's going on day to day and morale is at an all time low.

 

[John Galt III]

Move forward.

 

[mystang52]

The 3 are despised the most were already mentioned:
110%
Diversity
Utilize

The one I liked to use (sure hope it's not a cliche yet) was "traction" when talking about a strategy to consider.

 

[txtig]

Functionality
Alignment
Take this offline
Go-live date
Engage

 

[aja8888]

"Let's give the assignment to John since its unreasonable to do it in this length of time and he is our "GO TO" guy........"

 

[John Galt III]

In your spare time............. (do the following annoying and time consuming task for which you will not be rewarded at appraisal time)

 

[diehard1997]

I used to hate it when project managers used the term "opportunities" when identifying unrealistic technical expectations.

 

[Nemo2]

An acronym that I enjoyed, when the company was 'downsizing' was FOCUS*

*(F*** Off 'Cause U'r Surplus)

 

[scrinch]

We must always be positive, so we use plus/delta instead of plus/minus.
We don't have manpower or personnel, we have OC (organizational capability).
In the previous megacorp, workers weren't laid off, they were "redeployed" (de-employed more like it).

I attended two days of internal technical meetings a couple years ago and felt bombarded by acronyms, so I decided to write them down and count them. In two days I heard 120 unexplained acronyms!

 

[Idnar7]

are we in lock-step?
exceed requirements
not our first rodeo
repeatable

off topic - remember when business meetings always had coffee and donuts? I think that went out of style when business casual dress came in.

 

[MRG]

off topic - remember when business meetings always had coffee and donuts? I think that went out of style when business casual dress came in.

I have to go there for a moment. Remember when lunch meetings didn't happen, or if they did something was provided. That stopped a few years before RE, except for a privlaged few. After about a year I got ticked off, started bringing my own(good smelling sandwiches). Explained this is my lunch, I have low blood sugar need to eat. Funny there suddenly was money in the budget for meals.

Now back to sayings, pigs are committed, chickens are interested.
MRG

 

[Revlefty]

Do you remember "don't go there"? The one I'm hearing a lot is "blow back" as in "response or feedback." Why can't you say response or feedback?

 

[MuirWannabe]

I've enjoyed reading all of these and agree with most of them. As a still employed VP at megac*rp I find myself guilty of using many of these expressions.

I have met the enemy and he is me.

Go forward now. I must utilize my organizational capacity in an out of the box manner to accomplish some opportunities before the threat of being rightsized occurs if we don't all get on board and aligned with the new go live date.

 

[MichaelB]

So, all these posts are low hanging fruit, like throwing our former colleagues under the bus. A thread like this can be very synergistic, and if we all just think out of the box it could be a real paradigm shift. We all could be more proactive on this, try to get more bandwidth. I think we need to get our ducks in a row and come up with a list of new best practices. We are all empowered here; someone has to do the heavy lifting so we can move the needle. Try multi-tasking so we can get back in the game. These things are actionable, you just need to wrap your head around it. Laser focus, not pulse check, it what we need to take it to the next level. A totally holistic approach will let us move forward. Folks need to engage and get in lock-step. No blow-back please, let’s not go there. So, if you don’t have a hard stop lets touch base.

Like, it is what it is, you know.

 

[steelyman]

MichaelB, I love it when you talk dirty.

 

[MuirWannabe]

So, all these posts are low hanging fruit, like throwing our former colleagues under the bus. A thread like this can be very synergistic, and if we all just think out of the box it could be a real paradigm shift. We all could be more proactive on this, try to get more bandwidth. I think we need to get our ducks in a row and come up with a list of new best practices. We are all empowered here; someone has to do the heavy lifting so we can move the needle. Try multi-tasking so we can get back in the game. These things are actionable, you just need to wrap your head around it. Laser focus, not pulse check, it what we need to take it to the next level. A totally holistic approach will let us move forward. Folks need to engage and get in lock-step. No blow-back please, let’s not go there. So, if you don’t have a hard stop lets touch base.

Like, it is what it is, you know.

You sir, need to go back to w*rk. Clearly executive material and a shame to waste such talents with mere retirement.

 

[Amethyst]

Blow-back is simply feedback you didn't want.

"Don't ask the question if you aren't going to like the answer," one of my worst boss's favorites. He also rated people on "whether they could get the 300-pound lady with a broken leg down the mountain," which apparently he didn't think I was capable of doing. He said it was a skiing analogy. I don't ski.

Another boss, on hearing that I didn't have a smart phone, commented, "Sad." I asked him why it was sad and he explained that it sounded like I didn't have anyone to keep in touch with.

Amethyst

Do you remember "don't go there"? The one I'm hearing a lot is "blow back" as in "response or feedback." Why can't you say response or feedback?

 

[panacea]

So, all these posts are low hanging fruit, like throwing our former colleagues under the bus. A thread like this can be very synergistic, and if we all just think out of the box it could be a real paradigm shift. We all could be more proactive on this, try to get more bandwidth. I think we need to get our ducks in a row and come up with a list of new best practices. We are all empowered here; someone has to do the heavy lifting so we can move the needle. Try multi-tasking so we can get back in the game. These things are actionable, you just need to wrap your head around it. Laser focus, not pulse check, it what we need to take it to the next level. A totally holistic approach will let us move forward. Folks need to engage and get in lock-step. No blow-back please, let’s not go there. So, if you don’t have a hard stop lets touch base.

Like, it is what it is, you know.

I think MichaelB has some good ideas... let's table this for now and circle back next time. Anyone mind if we put a pin in it?

 

[David1961]

So, all these posts are low hanging fruit, like throwing our former colleagues under the bus. A thread like this can be very synergistic, and if we all just think out of the box it could be a real paradigm shift. We all could be more proactive on this, try to get more bandwidth. I think we need to get our ducks in a row and come up with a list of new best practices. We are all empowered here; someone has to do the heavy lifting so we can move the needle. Try multi-tasking so we can get back in the game. These things are actionable, you just need to wrap your head around it. Laser focus, not pulse check, it what we need to take it to the next level. A totally holistic approach will let us move forward. Folks need to engage and get in lock-step. No blow-back please, let’s not go there. So, if you don’t have a hard stop lets touch base.

Like, it is what it is, you know.

MichaelB, if you ever decide to run for office, you got my vote!

 

[Amethyst]

Just as long as everybody but MichaelB takes a step backward and pins the rose on MichaelB, thus making him the stuckee.

Anyone mind if we put a pin in it?

 

[MichaelB]

Anyone mind if we put a pin in it?

I've never heard that expression.

You sir, need to go back to w*rk.

No need to be rude.

Just as long as everybody but MichaelB takes a step backward and pins the rose on MichaelB, thus making him the stuckee.

Being the stuckee was one of the reasons I quit working in the first place.

A master at work here George Carlin - Modern Man - YouTube

 

[Silver]

So, all these posts are low hanging fruit, like throwing our former colleagues under the bus. A thread like this can be very synergistic, and if we all just think out of the box it could be a real paradigm shift. We all could be more proactive on this, try to get more bandwidth. I think we need to get our ducks in a row and come up with a list of new best practices. We are all empowered here; someone has to do the heavy lifting so we can move the needle. Try multi-tasking so we can get back in the game. These things are actionable, you just need to wrap your head around it. Laser focus, not pulse check, it what we need to take it to the next level. A totally holistic approach will let us move forward. Folks need to engage and get in lock-step. No blow-back please, let’s not go there. So, if you don’t have a hard stop lets touch base.

Like, it is what it is, you know.

So, so glad you started with so. That makes everything you said just so.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

My company - actually just this one office which used to be its own firm - has it's own jargon but they expect everyone to magically know it. One example is "OBE." The first time I read that in an email I copied a list of a dozen possible explanations from Wikipedia , including "Order of the British Empire," "Ottawa Board of Education," and "out-of-body experience," and politely asked which was the correct interpretation. The correct answer was "overcome by events." Of course, I then had to ask what the he|| that meant.

 

[robnplunder]

So, all these posts are low hanging fruit, like throwing our former colleagues under the bus. A thread like this can be very synergistic, and if we all just think out of the box it could be a real paradigm shift. We all could be more proactive on this, try to get more bandwidth. I think we need to get our ducks in a row and come up with a list of new best practices. We are all empowered here; someone has to do the heavy lifting so we can move the needle. Try multi-tasking so we can get back in the game. These things are actionable, you just need to wrap your head around it. Laser focus, not pulse check, it what we need to take it to the next level. A totally holistic approach will let us move forward. Folks need to engage and get in lock-step. No blow-back please, let’s not go there. So, if you don’t have a hard stop lets touch base.

Like, it is what it is, you know.

WTF, not a single acronym? Can you redo this post with at least 20 acronyms? LOL.