George Carlin On Aging

[Eagle43]

Just in case anybody is regretting retiring, take a look:

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! . He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

 

[MJ]

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Hey Eagle,
I'm going to try to soar past 100 1/2 to 100 3/4.
You can get a lot of livin into a 1/4 of a year especially when you have 100 years of experience.

 

[Jarhead*]

Eagle 43:

Always enjoyed George Carlin, and can imagine his timing re: your post. He's currently outrageously negative about everything, but funny is funny, and he still knows how to do that.

Regarding living to 100, I suppose anything is possible.

I will be satisfied to make it to 85, or when I can't play golf anymore, or fly fish, whichever comes first

Take care, Jarhead

 

[Nords]

With all the life experiences he's subjected himself to, George knows a lot about aging...

 

[Jarhead*]

With all the life experiences he's subjected himself to, George knows a lot about aging...

Nords: I just recently read a long article on George, and with the exception of the Viet-Nam time period, he claims to be off everything, booze, drugs, etc.

Last time I saw him perform, have no reason to doubt that. Still sharp as a tack, and was on for over a hour and a half.

How many guys in his age group could do that?
Answer: Nobody I know.

 

[Eagle43]

Y'all might like this one:

As we age, our priorities change. The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes."Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want.".


So, I tied her up and went fishing.

 

[HFWR]

Haven't had any in so long, I forget who gets tied up...........

Is a wise-assed post in a thread about George Carlin "off-topic"??

 

[Eagle43]

Haven't had any in so long, I forget who gets tied up...........

Is a wise-assed post in a thread about George Carlin "off-topic"??

Well, I thought about starting another topic, but it is "Carlin on-aging". But, I concede, you could be right. Now, where's my velvet ropes

 

[saluki9]

Well, I thought about starting another topic, but it is "Carlin on-aging". But, I concede, you could be right. Now, where's my velvet ropes

As nice as that bit is, it isn't George Carlin. As a long time fan, I can spot his work anywhere. That isn't the language he uses (much too clean) in addition it's much to friendly.

I suggest you look at his own website where he talks about all the fakes on the internet attributed to him.

 

[TromboneAl]

Funny, Eagle!

Back when Emusic.com let you download all you want for 14.95/month, I burned about 8 George Carlin CDs.

I like him, but on some of those CDs you get the feeling that he's a little crazy -- very angry.

He's really into words. A very intellectual guy with some extremely clever bits.

 

[Nords]

Nords:  I just recently read a long article on George, and with the exception of the Viet-Nam time period, he claims to be off everything, booze, drugs, etc.

Last time I saw him perform, have no reason to doubt that.  Still sharp as a tack, and was on for over a hour and a half.

How many guys in his age group could do that?
Answer: Nobody I know.

You know when they say that if you remember the '60s then you didn't do it right? George Carlin must be grateful that it's all preserved on his 33 1/3 RPM LPs*. I think he crashed pretty hard on cocaine in the 1970s but his recent books couldn't have been done on illicit pharmaceuticals.

I'm looking forward to introducing my daughter to his comedy in a few more years. If she thinks the English language is a mess now, wait until she learns about the "Seven Words"...

On second thought maybe I'll just let her discover him on her own.


*For those of you who don't understand that acronym-- try this link before you ask one of those ingenuous questions that'll make the rest of us feel like ol' pharts.

 

[unclemick]

Cosby, Carlin and Newhart - I remember some of it.

Caught Cosby live at Oregon State(girlfriend's college at that time). Personally - I think I aged better than him - still about the same weight.

Heh, heh, heh, heh.