Having a hard time visualizing life in retirement

[Martha]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I grew up poor so I have a deep-seated fear of being poor again. One person said I was like someone who grew up during the Great Depression.

and dreamer wrote:

I never want to be poor again. I would rather continue working the rest of my life and die at my desk, rather than have to worry about every single penny that I spent.

I experience as well what both of you are saying and I too don't really have a solution for it. My thought Dex, for what it is worth, is to continue working for now and see how you feel in a year or two.

 

[Eagle43]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,
Keep working. Don't even think it, unless you're sure. When it's time, you will know. Further, LBYM, in fact, try to spend only what you know for sure you will have during retirement. Save the difference.

Read, Ernie Zelinski's "How to retire Wild, Happy, and Free. He discusses the other than financial aspects of retirement.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I agree with Eagle 43. LBYM is a key for most ERs.
I didn't do it myself, but that makes me a bit of a freak
in the world of "true" ER.

JG

 

[Spanky]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Here is an interesting arttcle about happiness:

Economists now agree: 'You can't buy happiness'
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/195582_ratrace18.html

My understanding is that money does not make you happy or unhappy. You can be poor but still feel happy. You can be rich but still be unhappy. In the same token, you can rich and be happy.

I guess we just need to find what really makes us happy! That's should be easy - right?

 

[smooch]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I think I'm just going to ramble here, but maybe someone will have had similar experiences. I'm 55, my husband is 59. I have been a mainframe programmer for 20 years (a teacher before that). The mainframe is going away and I pretty much hate what I'm doing now. I work with more and more 20 year olds who know VB, xml, JAVA, COM+, etc. Everyday I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and I hate it.

I've done a lot of research about career changes and I really don't find things that I can or want to do except those that pay less than 30k a year, lots below 20K. We have about 850K in investments and a house worth about 250k. We owe 65k on the mortgage. While we have the mortgage, we need about 50K a year to live on (we live in a city because of our work).

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if I should resign and take some part time jobs. I can't develop other interests while I working full time, because I'm so exhausted by the time I get home, make dinner, etc. I feel like if I could just have a few months off, I'd be ok, but I know I won't get another job paying 70+ unless companies suddenly have a great need for mainframe programmers.

Anyway, that's my rambling after my Easter wine! Any insights?

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

If you are not just kidding, the answer is easy. Quit!

JG

 

[Spanky]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Smooch,

Are you saying that you are tired of being a mainframe programmer or you do not like programming or software development all together?

You can always take some time off. There is always needs for mainframe programmer on a contractual basis.

Spanky

 

[dex]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

If you are not just kidding, the answer is easy. Quit!

JG

Who was this directed to?

 

[Spanky]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,

I think JG might be referring to Smooch.

Spanky

 

[smooch]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Spanky, I am not doing mainframe development (much). It's been replaced by web packages, being written in India. I always did like mainframe work. Perhaps looking into contract work is the answer. I haven't done that before. I've always been employed full time. Thanks for your response.

 

[Lancelot]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Interesting thread...

I ER'd at 49 and have never looked back. My career was good to me, but it was a means to an end (can you say ER?)

My cousin (M, late 50's) is contemplating retirement now, he just went to Margarita IL, Venezuela; to check out a possible ER spot. He said he liked it a lot, but kept comming back to one stumbling block "I don't know what I am going to do all day long..."

We talked about that before, and I mistakenly offered suggestions like: hang out at a garage (he is in to motorcycles) volunteer to teach english, etc. Basically, he is just not ready to give up work-and there is nothing wrong with that. Some folks love their jobs and I say more power to 'em. If one's work is truly one's passions in life, why stop? And do keep on paying those payroll taxes, thank you very much!

However, in my cousin's situation, he claims to be "completely tired of workplace bull s%%% and can't wait to get out..." I think it's just that he is afraid to be "with himself" with out the buffer of work to insulate him from what ever issues he doesn't want to deal with.

ER is kinda interesting because one has to come to terms with ones self. No more "I have no time for______"

Personally speaking, now I have time and man I love it! Just one guy's take on adjusting to ER.

Lance

 

[retire@40]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

He said he liked it a lot, but kept comming back to one stumbling block "I don't know what I am going to do all day long..."

We talked about that before, and I mistakenly offered suggestions like: hang out at a garage (he is in to motorcycles) volunteer to teach english, etc. Basically, he is just not ready to give up work-and there is nothing wrong with that. Some folks love their jobs and I say more power to 'em.  If one's work is truly one's passions in life, why stop?

I really don't think most people love their work. I think they are so conditioned to go to work all day, they don't know how to uncondition themselves. There are very few passionate jobs out there. I can see singers, musicians, artists, and any job that can also double as a hobby. But for the most part, a job is something that just sucks the life out of you and consumes the best years of your life.

 

[Lancelot]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I really don't think most people love their work.  I think they are so conditioned to go to work all day, they don't know how to uncondition themselves. .

Hey Retire@40,

Don't know how? Or, down deep, afraid/don't want to "uncondition" themselves?

You could be right, but I still maintain that if people can "condition" themselves to work, they can also "unconditon" as well. IMHO.

Lance

 

[retire@40]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

You could be right, but I still maintain that if people can "condition" themselves to work, they can also "unconditon" as well. IMHO.

The ones with intestinal fortitude can. Only the ones with intestinal fortitude.

 

[haha]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Your time is limited and uncertain.  Even waiting to achieve FI is a big risk IMHO.
JG

This is an interesting viewpoint. Just how would one retire without reaching FI?

It seems there are only 4 ways to live (ie avoid starvation, have a roof over your head, etc) These can be pure, or the four ways can be mixed.

You earn a living; you live off hoarded savings and earnings from that savings (which would include SS, pensions, etc.; you sponge off others earnings and savings; or you steal.

If you are retired, then #1, earning a living is out. If you are not FI, then #2, living off savings is out.

That leaves sponging and/or stealing.

Maybe OK for some, but it beats me why anyone would want to advertise it on a message board

Mikey

 

[BUM]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,

You are very conflicted nut... and its after Monday. So what did you tell the boss?


BUM

Chairman
Conflicted Nuts Anonymos

 

[dex]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Dex,

You are very conflicted nut... and its after Monday. So what did you tell the boss?


BUM

Chairman
Conflicted Nuts Anonymos

Bum,
We Conflicted Nuts need a leader. I waited until 5pm yesterday to tell them I'm interested in the position. I will now go through another round of interviews in 2 weeks. I pretty confident I will get the position. And I'm still conflicted. I'm committed to at least 1 yr in the position (that is my integrity talking).
What others have said may be true - that I am not ready for retirement because of my lack of outside interests.
However, I'm 50 and been this way for quite some time so why do I think I can change.
I think I will need to do what Retire @40 is infurring. I must should quit and learn to live.
On the positive side I am consience of this issue.
I remember a quote a high school teacher said:
"Not to decide, is to decide."
Thanks for all the replies.

PS - Maybe I will not get the position (that has only happened once in my career). Then this issue will be decided for me and leaving would be a bit easier.

 

[Sheryl]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

This is an interesting viewpoint. Just how would one retire without reaching FI?

It seems there are only 4 ways to live (ie avoid starvation, have a roof over your head, etc) These can be pure, or the four ways can be mixed.

You earn a living; you live off hoarded savings and earnings from that savings (which would include SS, pensions, etc.; you sponge off others earnings and savings; or you steal.

If you are retired, then #1, earning a living is out. If you are not FI, then #2, living off savings is out.


Mikey

Mikey, I think you missed something - you are using common sense and logic. It's very likely that lots of people would choose #2, and live off savings until they ran out, without even doing the math to know if they were FI or not until the money ran out.

So are they really retired if WE know they can't make it but THEY don't have a clue? I've heard people around me say things like, "If I had $100,000 in the bank I'd quit this job so fast...." Yeah, then what?

 

[Jarhead*]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

This is an interesting viewpoint. Just how would one retire without reaching FI?

It seems there are only 4 ways to live (ie avoid starvation, have a roof over your head, etc) These can be pure, or the four ways can be mixed.

You earn a living; you live off hoarded savings and earnings from that savings (which would include SS, pensions, etc.; you sponge off others earnings and savings; or you steal.

If you are retired, then #1, earning a living is out. If you are not FI, then #2, living off savings is out.

That leaves sponging and/or stealing.

Maybe OK for some, but it beats me why anyone would want to advertise it on a message board

Mikey

Mikey: I am surprised that you would ask that question, given you have had access to this board as long as you have.
You do it with "Ego, and Superior Intellect
The rest of the stuff(Net Worth, types of investments, etc. etc.) are for the "girlie-men" to have to ponder.
Pay attention, you may learn something

 

[Nords]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

This is an interesting viewpoint. Just how would one retire without reaching FI?

I'll take this one-- marry a working spouse!

Kidding aside, John has the right perspective-- it's easy to keep working for "just one more million" without acknowledging one's own mortality.

quote author=dex link=board=misc;num=1111674058;start=30#41 date=03/29/05 at 06:46:05]I remember a quote a high school teacher said: "Not to decide, is to decide."[/quote]
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". -- Neil Peart

Probably just a recent version of many of this quote.

My favorite is "The more difficult a choice between two alternatives, the less difference it makes which one is chosen." So doing what you want (instead of what you feel you should or what the numbers seem to indicate) is certainly a valid approach.

Let's just hope that two months from now you're not wishing you'd chosen ER!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

A nurse with a purse definitely helps

Dex - I discovered a superior outside interest only after retiring...sleeping until at least 10:00 every morning...

I have also turned the highly toned skills I developed in the working world towards maximizing my laziness and now my primary goal is to see how long it can take to do something and how serialized I can make tasks rather than multitasking and shortening projects.

Its very, very difficult to do, but I believe I am near to mastering it.

With regards to 'willpower and brainpower', I guess that works when you marry a working spouse a couple of years after you 'retire' and then live deeply below the average persons means...

That might work for some, but I'd make sure I know the details before I quit working with 'low six figures' set aside.

 

[dex]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". -- Neil Peart

Probably just a recent version of many of this quote.

My favorite is "The more difficult a choice between two alternatives, the less difference it makes which one is chosen." So doing what you want (instead of what you feel you should or what the numbers seem to indicate) is certainly a valid approach.

Let's just hope that two months from now you're not wishing you'd chosen ER!

Nords - Now you tell me! Well I guess there is still time to turn in my notice and not go for the job. They are going to talk with others inside the company.

Re: Neil Pert - He was my roomate for about 2 wks while on a bicycle ride in China in 1985. I didn't know who he was so while introducing ourselves he told me he was in a band call Rush. I said the name sound familar; my brother owns a bar in the Bronx; have you ever played there? He said no they played in Madison Square Garden. I told him I never heard of the band. I think he liked that I didn't treat him like a star or special. He is genually a nice guy. The song Tai Shan is about our trip - it is on the "Great Balls of Fire" album.

 

[haha]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Mikey:  I am surprised that you would ask that question, given you have had access to this board as long as you have.
You do it with "Ego, and Superior Intellect
The rest of the stuff(Net Worth, types of investments, etc. etc.) are for the "girlie-men" to have to ponder.
Pay attention, you may learn something

Jarhead, you know what they say- "With all this sh+t, there must be a pony in here somewhere." I just keep looking.

Mikey

 

[Nords]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

Nords - Now you tell me! Well I guess there is still time to turn in my notice and not go for the job.  They are going to talk with others inside the company.

No, no, if you're interested in pursuing the job then you're doing the right thing. It's an opportunity that may not repeat itself, and passing it up may keep you wondering for a very long time. Play out the hand. You've certainly thought through the issues and made a choice, two steps that elude many in your position.

There's a lot to be said for playing the game by their rules and then using those same rules to declare your retirement. If you get the job, then you can still ER when you want. If you don't get the job, then you can still ER when you want. Either way I think you "win". Either way you've played with honor.

I'll say it again-- it's hard to think clearly about ER when you're working. When you're on a long vacation/sabbatical and you have several weeks (months?) to recover from chronic fatigue, lose some of the stress, and do the serious thinking, then the answers will make themselves clear. Nearly every ER can't imagine how they ever found time to go to work. You'll have plenty of things to do in ER, and merely the fact that you can't identify them now is no excuse to keep working! If you're still looking for things to do and you own a toolbox, you're welcome to come over here and help whittle down my honey-do list...

I wonder if Rush could book MSG these days-- maybe your brother should invite them to his bar again.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Re: Having a hard time visualizing life in retirem

I wonder if Rush could book MSG these days-- maybe your brother should invite them to his bar again.

They could open for Pat Benetar.