It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

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REWahoo said:
You really may not want to see these pictures...

14 Pictures That Will Enrage Every Control Freak. You DON'T want to see these. - Encurious
Click to expand...

I like them!

Many years ago at a place I w*rked there were two signs in the hallway.

Two arrows for restrooms pointing to the left each labeled men, women.
I added a a third arrow pointing to the right and labeld it Others.

Did the artwork just before open house for visitors. The signs were undisturbed at the end of the day. Did notice lots of giggles by visitors.
 
A blonde is working as a house painter. She arrives at a clients house and he asks her to paint his porch. Half an hour later, she knocks on the door to tell him she's done.

"Already??", he asks, shocked.

"Yup, and there was some leftover paint so I did a second coat."

Impressed, he pays her. As she's leaving she turns back and says "By the way, it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."
 
REWahoo said:
You really may not want to see these pictures...

14 Pictures That Will Enrage Every Control Freak. You DON'T want to see these. - Encurious
Click to expand...

Here ya go. This is right outside my living room window.

image.jpg

As you can imagine, I'm confused every morning about where to go after looking out the window. :ermm:
 
Confidence

A Navy fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat
next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his
watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks,
“Is your date running late?”

No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch,
and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch?
What’s so special about it?”

The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I
am wearing panties!”

The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an
hour fast.”

And that, my friends ... is "Confidence"!
 
Am I the only woman around here who us offended by these panty-removing and dumb blonde jokes?

:mad::mad::mad:
 
Meadbh said:
Am I the only woman around here who us offended by these panty-removing and dumb blonde jokes?

:mad::mad::mad:
Click to expand...

I'm not blonde, lol. But if there was ever a spot that kinda leaves itself open for sophomoric humor, it is this tired old funny joke thread. Those jokes just sound dated to me, like seeing an old floppy disk in an 80s movie.
 
Sarah in SC said:
I'm not blonde, lol. But if there was ever a spot that kinda leaves itself open for sophomoric humor, it is this tired old funny joke thread. Those jokes just sound dated to me, like seeing an old floppy disk in an 80s movie.
Click to expand...


Sarah, I really would have expected a bit more gender sensitivity from you. Use of the word "floppy", particularly in conjunction with the word "old" is just hurtful.

calmloki; very very blonde, but I never wear panties.
 
Meadbh said:
Am I the only woman around here who us offended by these panty-removing and dumb blonde jokes?

:mad::mad::mad:
Click to expand...

I must admit that I don't always read this thread because most of the jokes seem a little juvenile to me. More than offending me, that type of joke just plain bores me.

Guys, even though our forum is predominantly male, you might consider that you are in mixed company here and that even if your jokes don't seem offensive to you or your buddies, you might offend certain women such as Meadbh. If you want to encourage the "fairer sex" to stick around, one way would be to not offend them.

Also, if a reported joke post seems offensive or insulting to the majority of our (male and female) moderator team, to the point of violating our Community Rules, we might have to take action even on the jokes thread.
 
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OK, let's turn this one around:

A blond Adonis is working as a house painter. He arrives at a clients house and she asks him to paint her porch pink. Half an hour later, he knocks on the door to tell her he's done.

"Already??", she asks, shocked.

"Yup, and there was some leftover paint so I did a second coat."

"Show me", she says.

"He says "By the way, it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."

"Yeah, my Mafiosi husband will really appreciate that!"
 
My issue with the porch/lexus/paint joke is that it really isn't funny.

Like W2R, I tend not to come over to this thread much... not my cup of double espresso.
 
I just heard Bill Murray tell that joke as a throwaway in Saint Vincent! It didn't include blond, or Adonis, or Mafiosi, though.

I forward a few jokes from this thread but usually any joke with the word "panties" in it gets skipped right over, not even read. Really, who says "panties" in real life?
 
So now we are going to kill one of the oldest threads on the forum because of politically correct sensibilities?
 
I just remember a blonde guy joke, which I thought was good. Too lazy to type it, I searched the Web to link it in. Did not find that, but saw a bunch of others. With apology to calmloki (who wears no panties:cool: ), here's one.

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they ‘d still be in the boat.”


Read More: Best Blond Men Jokes | Best Blond Men Jokes
 
Meadbh said:
OK, let's turn this one around:

A blond Adonis is working as a house painter. He arrives at a clients house and she asks him to paint her porch pink. Half an hour later, he knocks on the door to tell her he's done.

"Already??", she asks, shocked.

"Yup, and there was some leftover paint so I did a second coat."

"Show me", she says.

"He says "By the way, it's not a porch, it's a Lexus."

"Yeah, my Mafiosi husband will really appreciate that!"
Click to expand...

Your joke could have been funny, except that your timing was off.:facepalm:

However, the fact the a Mafiosi was coming home to a pink porch is kind of amusing. :)
 
True, Sarah, but I bet you only use it for that. Also a staple for the way overworked "put your big-girl panties on."
 
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To be politically correct, how about, "Don't get your unmentionables in a bunch!"?
(Actually, I kind of like that--it leads to all sorts of possibilities).
 
When I worked in Europe, I always enjoyed hearing someone say "They've got their knickers in a twist."
 
Moreover I want us all to use the same step-ins. Okay you Brits can can use a pair of knickers if you must.
 
Bestwifeever said:
. Okay you Brits can can use a pair of knickers if you must.
Click to expand...

And why are they 'pairs'? No-one, (at least to the best of my knowledge), says "A pair of shirts/jackets", (when referring to one item of apparel).
 
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