Male Smarts: Let's Hear From the Ladies...

[W2R]

Super smart tends to mean no common sense so I vote for the just smart enough to be capable of critical thinking but aware enough that there is more to life than staying indoors all day working.

If he doesn't read for pleasure, he isn't going to be able to handle someone like me.

I don't agree that super smart tends to mean no common sense. When my grandfather (a chemistry professor) was still alive, he very much disliked the stereotype of the "absent-minded professor" or insinuations that a professor would not have everyday common sense, so I just had to speak up. Also, lots of very intelligent men do not stay indoors all day working. My brother, for example, whose career was as a high paid software consultant who seldom had to even go into his office and spent most days sleeping in, racing cars, and such.

Although I dated men of average intelligence when I was in my teens, as an adult my personal preference is someone both unusually intelligent and educated. I like not having to talk down to a man. Frank fits the bill.

 

[Caoineag]

I don't agree that super smart tends to mean no common sense...

Ahh but personal experiences alter people's perceptions (for good reason of course). I have known several geniuses and they all needed someone to ground them. Not that they were bad people, just lacking in any common sense or practical skills. Most of the people who were simply smart instead of blindingly brilliant were well rounded, interesting individuals who went on to do a variety of things.

Even though I test in the range just a hair short of genius and am considered a walking encyclopedia (and yes I consider myself as lacking certain social skills, feminine I am not), I have never felt the need to "talk down" to someone. Whether someone is mentally handicapped or brilliant, they usually have something interesting to discuss. I really do believe that very intelligent people forget that the ability to calculate a math formula or to discuss in detail atomic nucleation is not the end all be all of interesting conversation.

I do believe that when someone suggests that their intelligence has repulsed people that it is often their arrogance, not their intelligence, that people find repulsive.

PS A simple professor wasn't what I was referring to. Professors tend to be smart, well rounded individuals. I have yet to actually meet an "absent minded" professor. I am referring to the geniuses that are comparable to super computers.

 

[Hal3]

... a lot of fun, could dance really well and didn't get sloppy drunk.

Dang. Struck out again.

 

[Fireup2020]

Common sense, logical thinking, and a fun/crazy attitude are high priorities. Having a high IQ is not as important to me as a positive attitude, and willingness to explore solutions to problems (real or perceived) and the quest for new adventures. The closed minded "dumb men" don't even make the cut! It is important that my quirks are valued (or at least amusing) to my man. I also like a bit of macho-male-protector attitude in the mix! (hey, Nords, can you see why I keep him around? )

 

[Nords]

(hey, Nords, can you see why I keep him around? )

You picked a winner there! Although you're going to have to give him a while to study up on the wardroom tradition of "dining in"... and what'll happen the first time a base sentry salutes him?

 

[Amethyst]

With all due respect, I don't see how it can be a sign of intelligence to lack social skills. Humans evolved intelligence and society as ways to survive and thrive.

To the extent that my social skills cause others to like and trust me, others are more likely to help me when I'm in trouble. To the extent that I lack social skills, I will miss out on the very significant benefits of society. I think it's the essence of intelligence, to try to maximize my benefits, and dim-witted not to do so.

If a person who's seen as highly intelligent, is also seen as lacking social skills, then I think this is a case of a person with large mental capacity, who happens to lack a desirable personal trait.

 

[ziggy29]

If a person who's seen as highly intelligent, is also seen as lacking social skills, then I think this is a case of a person with large mental capacity, who happens to lack a desirable personal trait.

My social skills are a lot better now than when I was single, but I wouldn't call myself extremely adept socially. I still tend to be rather shy and historically deathly afraid of rejection, so my tendency was to say nothing rather than say something stupid, to not go on a date rather than ask and be shot down.

Though I should add it's not because I'm extremely introverted or not socially-oriented. I do enjoy social interaction when I'm not feeling awkward about it. When I'm with good friends in a comfortable situation I'm as outgoing and extroverted as anyone. As a former manager of mine once said about me, "When we first hired you, we couldn't get you to say a word. Now we can't get you to shut up!" Yes, Linda, I think you pretty much nailed it.

 

[GoodSense]

I am attracted to men who can be considered "wise." In other words, with a big picture view of history, the present, and the future.

Also, I am a math/physics girl, so those who are clueless about math drive me crazy, and believe me there are lots of those out there. Math is not that hard!

Common sense is a good thing to have, and far more important than a very high IQ. I don't care about someone's social skills. A shy guy is sometimes more adorable.

 

[Amethyst]

my tendency was to say nothing rather than say something stupid, to not go on a date rather than ask and be shot down.

Though I should add it's not because I'm extremely introverted or not socially-oriented. I do enjoy social interaction when I'm not feeling awkward about it.

Ziggy,

Knowing when to be quiet was a far harder skill for me to develop than knowing when to speak up.

But knowing the right thing to say or not to say, has been the hardest skill of all! I still get that wrong, to my chagrin.

Goodsense,

You're right, math is not that hard. I think math sense may be like a muscle that gets flabby if you don't use it very often, which most people don't.

 

[ziggy29]

Also, I am a math/physics girl, so those who are clueless about math drive me crazy, and believe me there are lots of those out there. Math is not that hard!

Then we have those old talking Barbies saying "Math class is tough" when you pull the string. I don't suppose they'd ever say "Social studies class is tough" or "English class is tough" or some other subject where female students stereotypically excel.

Geek grrls rock. I'm just sayin'.

 

[GoodSense]

Then we have those old talking Barbies saying "Math class is tough" when you pull the string. I don't suppose they'd ever say "Social studies class is tough" or "English class is tough" or some other subject where female students stereotypically excel.

Geek grrls rock. I'm just sayin'.

I don't know if it's true, but I hear some girls pretend to be dumb because they think it makes them more attractive to guys (e.g. Paris Hilton style). Well if they want to attract guys who like air-headed girls, go right ahead. I'll take the rest.

 

[RonBoyd]

I don't know if it's true, but I hear some girls pretend to be dumb because they think it makes them more attractive to guys (e.g. Paris Hilton style). Well if they want to attract guys who like air-headed girls, go right ahead. I'll take the rest.

Both of them?

 

[ziggy29]

I don't know if it's true, but I hear some girls pretend to be dumb because they think it makes them more attractive to guys (e.g. Paris Hilton style). Well if they want to attract guys who like air-headed girls, go right ahead. I'll take the rest.

It's funny. On one hand, I hear some women complaining about guys who are intimidated by intellect, by those who earn more than they do, by those who are more educated than they are... and on the other hand, I hear a lot of men saying that women refuse to "marry down" in terms of income or education or intellect.

We seem to have a chicken-and-egg question here.

I for one would thrilled if my wife were very successful in a career, and I'd worship her if she outearned me. I don't understand why someone would be intimidated by that. She still chose you, didn't she?

 

[ls99]

You're right, math is not that hard. I think math sense may be like a muscle that gets flabby if you don't use it very often, which most people don't.

Once I left working in the earthquake business, 20 or so years ago, my need for math dropped to arithmetic only.
Though I well remember in a long ago class the prof intoning in his most learned voice --quadratic equations-- well known by those who know it well. Nowadays that is all I remember of quadratic equations. Mercifully.
My math muscles have atrophied beyond repair. Arithmetic still doable.

 

[freebird5825]

...We seem to have a chicken-and-egg question here.
I for one would thrilled if my wife were very successful in a career, and I'd worship her if she outearned me. I don't understand why someone would be intimidated by that. She still chose you, didn't she?

This describes my situation. The difference between dh2b and me is very simple.
He enlisted at age 18 and wore a uniform for 20 years.
I aced the test and went to college on full scholarship vs wearing the uniform (USCG and USAF were after me big time!).
I had a higher GS grade level than he did, while I was w*rking. My income was significantly higher.
So what does all that mean?
Nada. This guy can run circles around me in some areas, and vice versa.
I tease him with "You were selected from the herd."
I'll see what he can do about the "worship" thing after the fact. I really like the sound of that.

 

[unclemick]

In HS I took a class in typing for only two reasons:

1. I knew they couldn't make me buy a typewriter, and therefore could not assign homework for that class.

2. I was one of two guys in a classroom full of girls. Talk about a target-rich environment!

It also turned out to be one of the most practical/useful classes I took in HS.

Yep - except 4 or 5 of us had the same idea - still a lot of girls though.

heh heh heh - Including a couple of football jocks who said they would need the typing skill for college.

 

[Amethyst]

ome women complaining about guys who are intimidated by intellect, by those who earn more than they do, by those who are more educated than they are...

...or are too pretty, or too tall, or too confident, or....the list goes on! You know what? I think some folks are just too darned easy to intimidate, and miss out on all kinds of good things on account of it.

 

[GoodSense]

Both of them?

Sure, why not?

If a couple earns within 30% of each other's salaries, it's essentially the same in my book. If someone makes more than twice of what I make, I may feel a little awkward, just because it often implies a different lifestyle. (Unless they are on this board and are crazy LBYM savers)

I have always made more than my DH. It's just a different career path. (He is in performing arts.) Neither of us thinks anything of it. We are very different in how we manage our lives. He is more of a self-starter while I am an exellent employee.

My math skills have also deteriorated lately as I don't have to use it so much. It's really a muscle that needs conditioning. Occasionally I do online IQ tests just so I can do a little "math workout."

 

[Khan]

With all due respect, I don't see how it can be a sign of intelligence to lack social skills. Humans evolved intelligence and society as ways to survive and thrive.

To the extent that my social skills cause others to like and trust me, others are more likely to help me when I'm in trouble. To the extent that I lack social skills, I will miss out on the very significant benefits of society. I think it's the essence of intelligence, to try to maximize my benefits, and dim-witted not to do so.

If a person who's seen as highly intelligent, is also seen as lacking social skills, then I think this is a case of a person with large mental capacity, who happens to lack a desirable personal trait.

Some of us were born without much in the way of social skills (I can not read facial expressions). Also I mostly raised myself as my parents were concentrated on my brother's dieing.

A major reason w*rk was so stressful (after being 'promoted' from programmer to team lead) was that I had to try to act 'normal' and interact at different levels with different people.

 

[Orchidflower]

I vote for smart with common sense. No common sense would drive me nuts. But not intellectually challenging would eventually bore me. I know as been there, done that one too many times.
Boy! have I ever changed from my 20's when all a guy had to do is be good looking..ha! Guess we all grow up sometime.

 

[ziggy29]

Boy! have I ever changed from my 20's when all a guy had to do is be good looking..ha! Guess we all grow up sometime.

I call this "Twenty Year Reunion Syndrome."

Some of the "cool" people you wanted badly when you were 16 -- some of the cool guys that had some of the girls signing dreamily as Myfirstname Hislastname -- could only ride that so far and maybe they've become ne'er do wells, or thought they were God's gift to women and maintained that attitude well into that adulthood. And those "socially poisonous" people who kept to themselves and to books and were picked on mercilessly by the jocks and the cool people -- the ones it was social suicide to be nice to or show any interest in -- suddenly seem like well-adjusted folks, really nice guys with safe, stable and relatively successful careers.

And you think, wow -- how much our priorities have changed from 18 to 38. Oh, and yeah -- I was, for the most part, one of those socially toxic kids in high school, though I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for a couple of the cheerleaders who were nevertheless sincerely *nice* to me back then and not afraid to consider me a friend (and even sign my yearbook -- eek!)

 

[REWahoo]

...I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for a couple of the cheerleaders...

Sometimes a cigar is...not a cigar.

 

[Steve O]

Mines not a "soft spot"

I was a social misfit too

 

[SarahW]

I gravitate to highly intelligent men--must also possess an excellent sense of humor, a nice body, and a kind nature. Hey...I married that guy! :woot:

 

[sindy9001]

I like a man of average smarts, too smart man won't make me feel security, I am worried about their bad faith.